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jo cox loneliness

I've lost my rings.

(80 Posts)
BonnieBlooming Wed 08-May-19 13:17:09

I know that compared to some of the issues people are dealing with this is nothing but I seem to have lost my wedding, engagement and eternity rings. Since losing a lot of weight they have been very loose and I don't wear them everyday. They usually sit on a wee ring stand on my dressing table and I noticed on Monday they were not there. They are not so loose that they could have fallen off and I never take them off outside (eg when washing my hands). We have spent two days taking the house apart looking for them. All the obvious places and all the not so obvious but no luck.
I dont care about the value of the rings but it is our 40 anniversary in August so they have great sentimental value.
What is also upsetting me is that my DD gave birth to a much awaited baby boy on Monday night and at a time when I should just be overjoyed this has cast a real shadow.
I have said to myself that it would be much worse if I had lost a person, they are just rings, but I feel so upset.
Has anyone had this experience? How did you come to terms with it? I suffer badly with anxiety at the best of times.

bikergran Thu 09-May-19 08:16:05

My mum had a scenario recently she has lost some weight, went on holiday and suddenly realised she had lost one of her rings they searched the hotel bedroom etc. she was quite upset. Then later in the day she was rooting in her handbag and there was the ring! it must have slipped off whilst messing in her handbag earlier.

I think like the other OP it sounds like you may have put the away somewhere with all 3 of them missing...I hope you come across them.

crazyH Thu 09-May-19 08:26:02

Lost a ring a last year. The ring had no sentimental value but I still keep wondering where I could have lost it.
Bonnie, Could you have placed your rings on the kitchen window sill when you were doing the washing up? Or in the bathroom when you took a shower?. Could the ring stand have tipped over and the rings fallen into an open bedside drawer? Hope you find them soon.

Missfoodlove Thu 09-May-19 08:38:30

I know exactly how you feel, I lost a very precious item, it haunted me for days and I was unable to enjoy anything.
As a Catholic I always pray to St Anthony ( patron Saint of all things lost/stolen) it’s worth a try. 😉
aleteia.org/2018/06/13/prayer-to-st-anthony-to-find-an-item-that-was-lost/amp/
Try picturing yourself going through each part of your home and see if that triggers anything.
Good luck.
P.S I found what I had lost, I had removed it with out thinking and put it behind a book a in a downstairs cloakroom.

dragonfly46 Thu 09-May-19 08:53:39

My mum lost her wedding ring a few years ago but when I was clearing out their bungalow I found it on the wardrobe floor.

Pudding123 Thu 09-May-19 10:18:13

Try a little prayer St Anthony

Mapleleaf Thu 09-May-19 10:19:35

Have you had any gloves on recently (gardening gloves for example). Check the fingers in case they are there.
Perhaps they are in a drawer? It's likely they are together somewhere. Good luck, I hope you find them soon.

Mapleleaf Thu 09-May-19 10:29:15

I also remember one time I couldn't find the house keys. Hunted high and low. DH found them in the peg bag!

patchworksue Thu 09-May-19 10:43:17

I feel for you...a couple of years ago I lost a bracelet that held a lot of sentimental charms....I was very upset...wasn’t sure when/ or where I’d lost it ....searched the house, retraced my steps , got in touch with police to see if it had been handed in.....about 8 months later I found it along with other jewellery that I hadn’t missed in a glasses case...then it all came back,we had been on holiday to Glasgow and I had put it there for safe keeping...I was over joyed..and the first thing I did was go and have a Saftey chain fitted......do hope your rings turn up X

blondenana Thu 09-May-19 10:57:14

Have you checked in your bed, and pillow cases,?i once lost a ring and found it in my pillow case, must have slid my hand under while asleep and it got caught in the pillow case
Also found an earring i had lost at the bottom of the bed,

Theoddbird Thu 09-May-19 10:59:15

Ask St Anthony. He is the patron saint of lost things smile

Warmthlover Thu 09-May-19 11:03:48

My widowed sister was very upset at losing her engagement ring. Several months later, she took an opened packet of bagels out of the freezer and there it was in the bottom of the packet!
I came home one day to find my partner upset; he’d been strumming nettles and his parents’ wedding rings had slipped off his finger somewhere. He gave up on them. The following week I was picking strawberries and there, nestled under one plant; you’ve guessed it!

quizqueen Thu 09-May-19 11:05:12

My daughter lost two credit cards. She found them both later. One had been 'posted' under the sofa by her 2 year old, the other had been put in her husband's trainers, which had gone in his sports bag, by said same person!!

jaylucy Thu 09-May-19 11:09:31

My son bought me a beautiful and unusual ring the first Christmas he was in full time work. I wore it all the time and had many compliments on it. Never took it off my finger until I was ill in hospital. My son put it in his coat pocket and when I got home, he gave it back to me. I remember putting it in a safe place on a cabinet, but since then it has disappeared! Like you, I have pulled the house apart over the last 6 years, but no joy and it is always at the back of my mind.
I just had a thought - with a big anniversary coming up, is it possible that someone in your family has taken your rings to be re-sized as a surprise ? Maybe if you start making comments about contacting the insurance company and police about them, they will confess ?

MarieLL59 Thu 09-May-19 11:26:17

Hi Bonnie, so sorry this has happened, I expect you feel like a bit of you us missing too. I would say that the good news is that from what you say you know that the rings are in the house. So in a way they’re safe. When you look divide each room into small sections and work through. Go right under furniture or carpets. Go through the current bins and wash basket so you know they’re not there. And then check before you throw things or wash things. I’m sure you’ve done all that. I’m convinced you’ll find them sitting somewhere you didn’t expect, or they’ll turn up out of the blue when you least expect it. Sometimes when the lost item is off your mind that’s when you find it. Wishing you all the best for your special day 🙂

sandelf Thu 09-May-19 11:29:07

BB - In the words of the church these things are 'outward and visible signs' - of whatever significant thing. I do understand the hurt you feel. Decide whether you want to renew them in some way (perhaps rings that do fit the real you as you are now), or not - nothing can change the importance of the events to you. And many congratulations on the new grandchild.

loopyloo Thu 09-May-19 11:31:49

Could you have knocked them over on to the floor and they are in the vacuum cleaner? Does someone else clean for you?
Do you remember when you last wore them? Did you put them away safely somewhere?

Diggingdoris Thu 09-May-19 11:33:04

Oh how sad to lose your rings. Try to trace back what jobs you did that day round the house. Maybe you were cleaning somewhere and took them off in an unusual place.ie.bathroom cabinet.
This reminds me of a time when my mum was going away on holiday and thought she'd hide her very expensive ring in case they had a burglary while away. Trouble was she forgot where she'd put it. Five years later she went to the medicine cupboard to get me a paracetamol and when she tipped up the little pot, out came the ring!
I do hope you find them soon.

sarahellenwhitney Thu 09-May-19 11:34:26

BonnieBlooming.
Losing engagement, wedding rings etc items which are for many worth more in sentimental value than price is devastating. I certainly hope that, and it can happen, you will suddenly remember where you were when last removing your rings. I myself removed my rings following the loss of DH but this was due to my losing so much weight during the time I was taking care of a very ill H.

Witzend Thu 09-May-19 11:38:06

I do hope you find them, OP. If nobody else has been in the house, they'll surely turn up. Have you checked all bins, just in case?

My dd lost a silver Claddagh ring, a present from Irish friends.
Several years later, I took my very deep saucepan drawers right out, to clean behind them, instead of just the insides.
Lo and behold, her ring was behind one of the drawers! Very tarnished but undamaged - though how on earth it got there I will never understand.

whywhywhy Thu 09-May-19 11:44:13

I seems odd that all three have disappeared. Are you sure that someone hasnt been in your house and taken them? Maybe they will turn up when you least expect to find them.
My mam lost her wedding ring when she was in the nursing home and the staff searched high and low and she has lost weight in the last year. I do hope you find them. x

Paperbackwriter Thu 09-May-19 11:58:08

I know this might sound a bit mad but do ask St. Anthony to help find them (patron saint of lost things). I'm not RC, not even religious but somehow he's never let me down yet. St. A. or not, I do hope you find them.

4allweknow Thu 09-May-19 12:26:27

You must have put them somewhere else. Has the ring stand been knocked over? Have you checked the Hoover, handbags, purses. All 3 to go missing must have been a deliberate act. Have you had young grandchildren visiting and they have had access a d could possibly have moved them. Happened to me once, grandson took them and out them in a little lidded bowl as he thought they were treasure to hide. Do hope you find them.

grandtanteJE65 Thu 09-May-19 12:36:35

I discovered my wedding ring had slipped off my finger recently and I found it in the gardening glove I had just thrown in the bin!

But some similar cannot surely have happened to three rings?

Perhaps they weren't on the ring stand and you have been looking in the wrong places? I hope you find them, as it is so upsetting losing something you cherish.

You have emptied all the drawers in your dressing table, haven't you?

Do you have a grandchild who could have played with them and been scared to admit she hid them somewhere?

When she was four my sister hid the key to our father's wardrobe and then didn't dare admit she had played with it. It took about a month before our cleaning lady found it. Looking back, she may have got my sister to tell her where it was (slid in under the wardrobe door) but if so, she never let on. Just said she had found it there.

breeze Thu 09-May-19 12:37:43

Some great suggestions above Bonnie please let us know if you find them. Like others have said; to lose all 3 at once does point towards you being so distracted thinking about your DD going into labour you have simply put them elsewhere and forgotten you did it.

Try to retrace your steps that day and check all of the places mentioned above. My sister once put her woolly hat on but couldn't find her gloves. She went out and only when she glanced at herself in a window she realised her hat was ridiculously high. She had balled the gloves up and put them inside the hat grin

So the suggestions to check gloves, pockets, the sink and other likely places are good ones.

I do hope you find them. May be worth having them adjusted when you do.

Congratulations on your new GS. How wonderful.

marpau Thu 09-May-19 12:47:46

Did you go to the hospital to visit new grandchild? If so do you remove them to use hand sanitiser?