Do I live in the most boring town in Britain?

Ps your neighbour sounds like a nightmare, that's enough to depress anyone. If she continues, can you contact the police?

Could you contact or look or listen to local radio for ideas?
Ours is choc a bloc with them.
Though thinking about it the activities mentioned do cover a large area.

Trouble is social isolation and depression are hand in hand sometimes.
The conventional advice to " join things" is like pushing a boulder up a hill.

I was in our local big Tesco this lunchtime. They have a What's On board of local events. I expect our local library does too.

lafergar

Trouble is social isolation and depression are hand in hand sometimes.
The conventional advice to " join things" is like pushing a boulder up a hill.

But Aely says Every year I look on the Internet for places to go where I might meet people, make new friends. There is nothing.
She then asked What is an elderly widow supposed to do with her remaining years?

So posters tried to help with suggestions.

Is the town really boring or is it that Aely is finding it a struggle to join in with social groups on her own? It's not easy to walk into a new group where you know no-one, I do realise that.

Should the question be re-framed?

I don't know if WhereverTown is the most boring town in Britain or not.

Have you thought of finding some pen pals?
There are many sites on the net and adverts in magazines such as “Yours” for pen pals
During a period of serious illness and not able to do the normal stuff I did, I really enjoyed writing to pen pals and looked forward to the postman arriving. Still write to them but some turned into email pals now.

I totally get it Aely. 72, mobility impaired and struggling to make a better life for myself. I’m getting there as you will in time. Not everyone will agree with me here but it’s ok not to feel positive all of the time. Or pretend to 😉

Massaged you Aely. Happy to talk , sometimes make sense.

Your town is not boring, have a good look at yourself and get out more even if it's only for a walk around the black. I'm 84 and go for a two/three mile walk daily. It's amazing who yiu meet, say "hello" have a chat you might well make new friends.

BlueBelle

If you read back over your post it is totally negative everything is wrong or bad, nothing, not one positive sentence. I think the first thing to do is connect with your GP as you sound depressed to me
77 is still young (ish) you can be an old 77 or a young 77 There has been lots of good ideas on here for you but do you know what I bet you don’t do any of them because it’s easier to not (I know that I ve often had to make myself do things)

Have you got a friend ring them up now and suggest a walk or a coffee and a chat if you haven’t got a friend, make a new one go out for a walk and get chatting to anyone who you think will listen, on a bench, at a bus stop, in a shop. There’s some lovely amazing people out there My best friend went on a coach trip alone some years back sat next to a lady, started chatting and for years now she’s been her (‘second’ 😂) best friend
It requires effort though it’s much much easier to sit and do nothing it takes effort and guts to move on but you ll be so much happier

And don’t forget that voluntary work best thing since sliced bread

I don’t think op sounds depressed and she’s not saying she is, If she were she wouldn’t be looking for activities to join, to many people jump on a diagnosis of depression when they are just situationally unhappy believe me I was a Mental Health professional for over 30 years

Volunteering gets my vote as well . Lots of ideas on here and there are also opportunities for volunteering online , such as reading with children in schools .

Do you have the internet and a laptop or similar Aely? You can play bridge online at BridgeBase Online - there is an Acol Club for the Brits with friendly chat. There are other games too like Scrabble or the NY Times Daily Wordle? I also have a lot of fun watching videos on youtube - like yes Minister - or music videos. My Amazon Firestick gives me access to a lot of free films and box-sets too. A hobby or new past-time can quickly expand to fill your leisure time. Good luck to you.

Hi
It is sad but several ideas - is there a ‘church hall’ that could be used for a ‘move it or lose it’ fitness class? Could be a sitting one !
Is there a cafe you could meet up with people? A ‘chatty cafe’ group? Just for a gathering a chit chat?
Some volunteering is nice - even for age concern or Samaritans and even a counselling advice?
Good luck - you’d be surprised how many there are like you in your neighbourhood!

Church? Ours used to run a weekly bacon and coffee morning (until Covid, I think). When we moved to our village, I put a notice in the local shop window asking if anyone would like to meet up with me....but I'm pretty shameless. When I was a child, my parents moved (as my youngest one once wrote in a school essay) instead of redecorating. I had to be fairly outgoing as I was always the new girl.

Is Silverline still going? It was set up by Esther Rantzen for people who are isolated.

I would actually move near to the daughter that wants you to be close. It's a shame you will be further away from your other daughter. However a new area and home is just what you need now. That way you will have your daughter nearby to see and hopefully start new activities too.

Aely I feel for you. Is there, by any chance, a local church (not for religion) that holds coffee mornings for meeting new, older people for a chat.

Where my DD lives a volunteer group brightens up small places, it is so colorful and cheerful. As you like gardening, is there a local volunteering group that gardens local waste ground, they could be interested in your experiences.

I do know people that have taken up art and others lawn bowling, would that be interesting? These groups are not my cup of tea but it would mean meeting others.

Does your local library hold book discussions, as you are an avid reader.

Put an ad in the local shop/ library to create a wheelchair/ slow walker’s group in the park you like to visit.

Its very hard to feel as you do, and others too, and like many on this thread, I send you love and wishes for a happier time ahead. There are several suggestions you could try and just stepping out of your routine and trying something different could in itself help. I just want to add one idea - if your circumstances allow, you could consider adopting a rescue cat or dog. I am guessing your first thought might understandably be 'I could not do that!' - but you would be doing the animal a favour and there is a lot of evidence that looking after a pet can transform your life. I know it costs money and you have to spend time looking after it - but still worth considering perhaps. You can make provision in your will for the care of your pet if it outlives you.

Go along to your lawn bowls club. Even if bowling doesn't appeal, they have a social side, with quizzes, cakes. Our age range is 35 to 99, plenty of new hips, knees and achey backs and bowling aids if you can't bend. Social, mental and excercise.

Aaly, is there a local internet based site like Nextdoor? I used it's predecessor, Street life (sadly now defunct as it was better) and just put up a post suggesting a time and place to meet up for coffee. A bit of effort and the risk of nobody turning up or people you don't get on with but I soon made a couple of friends and have since met their friends and acquaintances and 8 years later have a lovely circle of kindness and interesting friends to meet up with regularly for coffee, shopping, local events etc. one friend began a book group and that's still going 6 years later

It seems you have received most of my ideas.
Have you a walking group near you and lunch clubs etc ?
As someone brought up, would it be an idea to live near to one of your offspring .

Thankfully, I don’t Suffer too much from loneliness. I need to be tough as both my offspring either live abroad or spend most of their time working abroad.
Take care of yourself, I am sure you are not alone,
Cath

I just deleted my message Aaly, will try again 🙂 when I moved I felt isolated and went online on what is now Nextdoor which aims to link up local people. I advertised a time and place to meet for coffee and while it's a risk, people you don't like or nobody turning up, it's also possible to meet new people and make friends that way. I found a couple of like-minded souls and have met their friends and acquaintances and built up a lovely social network. A book or craft group is another alternative (I can teach rag rug making but there is always a good uptake on knitting and crochet type groups). Places like local pubs, cafés and libraries often have spare spaces you can use for nothing and also put up a poster. I bet you are not the only one who feels that way but possibly nobody else has taken the steps to try and set something up. I do feel for you as I lived abroad for a couple of years and found it almost impossible to meet people and it's miserable. Big hug!

Would your brother in France have you to stay for a week (no longer!) now and again?
You could maybe think about improving your French. Duolingo is free and quite motivating, but a class is more sociable. I'm doing both!
Good luck.

Your Town isnt boring but your attitude is indeed very negative

It would be good to hear what you think Aely.