Do I live in the most boring town in Britain?

Hmm.
Might I suggest you write a list of the positive things in your life.
Or think of 3 things.
What do you enjoy?
Are your ears pieced? A new pair of earrings?
One good thing is all the charity shops locally. You might find something new to wear....

From your first post I knew the town where you lived OP.
Or at least one of 2 adjoining towns. F A. And I'm not swearing. Am I right?
I can see the area has changed a lot and probably not for the better esp for long established residents.
So much the more so for those with limited mobility and energy.
Re the churches. How about going to an event at each one as if you are an undercover reporter.
You write very well. Most vivid.
And if you go to the same coffee morning next week you can wow that gentleman with your insight on tungsten and vulcan bombers

Lafergar, your experience of a Church coffee morning is, it seems, par for the course. It is one of the reasons why I stopped going to ours. I tried taking a friend with me but we just ended up talking to each other. (She is no longer my friend, it seems, having been lied to by my neighbour). As I have left it a couple of years there has been a turnover of participants, so I will give it a go.

Cliques are a problem. The old time dancing in the next town was the same. I wasn't looking to dance myself, but struggled to even find a table where I was permitted to sit and drink my tea - and the person who let me "in" was roundly told off for allowing me to use the seat normally occupied by an absent friend. I didn't go back.

Loopy, I did think about asking George (or Sooty or probably half a dozen other names), our "Community Cat", if he would be prepared to play dead for me, but he seems to be lying low, probably because of the heat but possibly because he has heard the Cat's Protection people are coming soon to remove his family jewels and give him his injections. He got left behind, with 3 others when a lady up the road died. Her son took the only cat she had admitted to having. One has since died (at the vets) and two others were taken for treatment and possible rehoming. George is being fed by at least two of us but declines to become part of a household. Pure cupboard love. He is related to my much missed Pepper, perhaps even a half brother from a later litter.

I feel there is a book in there somewhere Aely.

Another funny thing that happened to me was I sat next to a lady in a group. When I got up to stretch my legs, she had put a bag on the chair!

I'm getting to the stage now where I just have a little inward chuckle.

lafergar

I feel there is a book in there somewhere Aely.

Another funny thing that happened to me was I sat next to a lady in a group. When I got up to stretch my legs, she had put a bag on the chair!

I'm getting to the stage now where I just have a little inward chuckle.

Oh yes, it's the "I'm saving that seat for my friend" syndrome. I've encountered that.
Like seven year olds on the school bus!

Cliques are a problem.
Definitely. The favoured few in the Inner Circle.

@Aely, where do you live? Monkey world suggests Dorset or Hampshire? I live in Southampton and have joined a group on an app called 'meetups:' there are loads of groups for different interests
. I joined U3A but it didn't do much on my area and the meeting place took over an hour to get to do I didn't bother.
With meet up I have found two groups. One that meets for coffee and chat on town twice a week, and I go two a pub night twice a month. I've met some lovely people and enjoy the company. Maybe look into it?

Start every day by counting your blessings: for instance, you have two daughters, in the UK, and grandchildren. Isn’t that wonderful in itself?
Then a few suggestions:
Can you get to a railway station and onwards to see the daughter with ‘a young child’? Young children are immediate mood-lifters. The rail system is quite good at mobility assistance these days.
Stay in a Premier Inn near either daughter.
Join a book group, one that takes you out of your comfort zone so you discover new reading — and might make friends.
What are these authors you read constantly? Are there any online societies for fellow devotees?
Sometimes joining things online can lead to offers of lifts to face2face events etc.
Count those blessings and people will rally round your cheerfulness.

I just have to say, if it were all so easy then the OP would have done it! It all so sounds easy but is not in real life, I've been there.

Younger daughter and I were discussing the possibility of me visiting just this morning. She agrees that the train journey is not easy. To London, to Tonbridge to nearest local station seems to be the route. If I can get my leg problems sorted a bit, I might try it. Luckily, she does have a spare bedroom. She rang me because she knew I had received some bad news and was upset.

I am not a happy bunny today.

I am very close to the family of four who live on the other side of my previously mentioned "nightmare neighbour", i.e. she is our mutual neighbour. I have known this family for many years, since the youngest child was a bump. The husband had even been my lodger for a while, a long time back, when their was a family problem.
I had some bad news last night, delivered by my nightmare neighbour, who I would swear had a smirk on her face. She even stated she was not sorry about the news she was giving me.

The husband had been missing for several days, which I was aware of.
A body was found yesterday, following a search of the local area.

The husband had suffered much greater and continuing harassment from her than I did, at a very vulnerable point in his life. She harasses me because I defended him against her.

In the highly unlikely event that the unfortunate family is in any way identifiable in spite of my deliberate vagueness, I ask that you keep it to yourselves and respect their grief and privacy. I am sure you will.

Of course.
Dear Aely. I am so very sorry to hear about the sad news you had.
Naturally you will be feeling low.
And if you can manage to visit and stay with your daughter I think that would be a good thing.
Wishing you all the very best.

In the highly unlikely event that the unfortunate family is in any way identifiable in spite of my deliberate vagueness, I ask that you keep it to yourselves and respect their grief and privacy. I am sure you will

Hmmm…..but you’ve just posted this on social media which can literally be read by millions of people.

If you can identify them from what I have written, Kadinsky, PM me!

And what might any of those millions do Kadinsky (if correctly identified) with that nugget?
My condolences Aely what a horrible shock, I hope you can manage getting away

Aely

Lafergar, your experience of a Church coffee morning is, it seems, par for the course. It is one of the reasons why I stopped going to ours. I tried taking a friend with me but we just ended up talking to each other. (She is no longer my friend, it seems, having been lied to by my neighbour). As I have left it a couple of years there has been a turnover of participants, so I will give it a go.

Cliques are a problem. The old time dancing in the next town was the same. I wasn't looking to dance myself, but struggled to even find a table where I was permitted to sit and drink my tea - and the person who let me "in" was roundly told off for allowing me to use the seat normally occupied by an absent friend. I didn't go back.

Loopy, I did think about asking George (or Sooty or probably half a dozen other names), our "Community Cat", if he would be prepared to play dead for me, but he seems to be lying low, probably because of the heat but possibly because he has heard the Cat's Protection people are coming soon to remove his family jewels and give him his injections. He got left behind, with 3 others when a lady up the road died. Her son took the only cat she had admitted to having. One has since died (at the vets) and two others were taken for treatment and possible rehoming. George is being fed by at least two of us but declines to become part of a household. Pure cupboard love. He is related to my much missed Pepper, perhaps even a half brother from a later litter.

Is this post about cliques, a wake-up call to all of us who belong to groups to be welcoming to new ones who want to join us?

The cliques!
Our arts club was often accused of being cliquey. It's hard to notice it when you are part of it.

I asked a woman from my yarn group, who I hardly knew as she'd recently joined, to view a house for sale with me. Later her friend seemed put out that she hadn't been invited. I had broken some social code which I try to ignore.

Grammaretto

The cliques!
Our arts club was often accused of being cliquey. It's hard to notice it when you are part of it.

I asked a woman from my yarn group, who I hardly knew as she'd recently joined, to view a house for sale with me. Later her friend seemed put out that she hadn't been invited. I had broken some social code which I try to ignore.

It's exhausting navigating your way round this stuff. When I was a child my mother would plonk me on a beach and I'd make friends in 5 minutes.

Now I have to deal with the handbag on the chair, the standing in a circle admiring photos, the going for post class coffee with the clique.

if you like books why not set up a reading group? if you do not have a library try the U3A for support in setting up one
ask online AgeUK they have online buddies who ring once a week for a chat; if you do not want to have a call why not volunteer to do it instead? Something you can do from home ideal in winter

I saw a poster a couple of years ago about conquering isolation with the help of Age Uk, so I popped into our local branch and asked about it. They were as ignorant as I was, more so in fact as they hadn't seen the poster!

I missed the Church coffee morning today as the weather chose to give us its first half decent shower of rain in a couple of months. It pourd down for about 10 minutes, rained for about 20 in total, followed about 30 minutues later by another, shorter shower. When I did eventually get out, I went on the scooter to pick up my COPD meds and en route popped into the allotments. Looks like it only caught the very edge of the showers. Dry as dust with a slight dampness on the leaves. I did pick up a courgette, hopefully not the only one this year. I got a chat on the way home, when I spotted the mother of a friend of one of my daughters and another lady, who I swap plants with.

My daughter (the one mentioned above) is coming to visit after work tomorrow. Gluten free breaded cod and a box of chilled Frites have been purchased to go with some English (but unfortunately not home grown) green beans so I can safely feed her. She is a full-blown Coeliac sufferer.

Yesterday, I was coming down the road with my shopping, plus flowers and a card I was dropping off at the house of my unfortunate friend, when I was passed by the young-adult Grandson of our unpleasant neighbour. He shouted out " Stop talking s--t to my Nan" followed by "You're a freak". I ignored him. He has in the past visited me for coffee, a chat, advice on catching up with a missed education and on some occasions, to just get away from his Nan. He has voluntarily helped me down the allotment. He is a lad with potential, given half a chance, not stupid but, unfortunately, "the enemy of his Nan is his enemy". Understandable, if misplaced, family loyalty.

Back to the lack of entertainment here.
Earlier I mentioned a chat I had with two local ladies I know. One of them actually mentioned that this was not a good place to live these days, its only benefit being that it was not yet as bad as the neighbouring town, which comes under the same local Council. She spoke of the lack of facilities and things to do, amongst other problems. The other concurred. One is younger than I am, the other a little older.

My neighbour's Grandson, in the days when he would visit for a chat, asked me if I knew of anything for someone his age to do other than hang around on street corners. That is how he came to help me with the allotment. He was that bored!

Can someone please give me a slap on the wrist when my brain says "there" and my hands type "their". I noticed I keep doing it.

If I sense boredom setting in I get out, try some thing new. Nothing comes to you. Of course if you have mobility or health issues that is challenging. I do down monents but I don't let them take hold, I've a lit of life to live and I am older than you.

Aely please, please don’t take this the wrong way as I want you to see it from others eyes, and maybe you can start to make some adjustments to yourself, and your thought patterns
I have just read over your long, well written post and everything you say is negative, everything that is wrong everything you can’t do , nowhere does it say I ll try this or I ll look into that Even when you do once say you ‘could perhaps’ try something you immediately negate it by saying but I couldn’t do it in the winter, it’s really really depressing reading.

You will only get out of this black hole by changing the way you look at life
Look at what you can do …you can get to your allotment and obviously enjoy that, but even that is negated by the story of the council and the tree cutting, get out in the sun, feel the warmth on your body, look at the little butterflies and insects feel the soil, chat to someone on the way, even that’s put down, as you don’t like chat you like meaningful conversations but big oak trees from little acorns grow and all that, you have to get into the chat first formthem to grow into meaningful conversations
You come across as a glass half empty person and not a joy to be around and only you can change that

Many many on here have had horrible sad and bad happenings but we need to pull up our big girl knickers and face the sunshine
Good luck in all you do but please, please work on yourself and your attitude as soon as you can you are wasting what’s left of your life

BlueBelle, Aely is a born writer. I know we shouldn’t be talking about her as though she isn’t in the room, but she writes so vividly I can picture the scenes she describes perfectly. And there is a great sense of humour lurking in there as well. Aely, your potential is so great, if only there was something we could do to unleash it (and I have to say, I’m becoming more and more curious as to where exactly this “most boring town is”!)

Haha yes where is this town? my town was once called boring in one of those lists they bring out now and then, but compared to Aely s it sounds positively manic and full of life

But you have to meet it half way you can sit at home thinking how boring it is or you can go our into this boring place and actually speak to someone or appreciate the nature or the architecture or the history . Ask someone a question chat at the bus stop or even have a moan but get into conversation there’s some really interesting people, out there why not be one of them
Come back Aely and have a go at me tell me I m wrong and I m judging you and not being kind
Negativity drives me mad and it makes me want to avoid the person who always has something minus to say
Don’t be that person
Get a note book and every day wrote something positive about your life
You have a boyfriend one up on me 🤣🤣🤣

Re reading OP’s posts I do wonder whether she is being ironic
Somebody who writes so entertainingly cannot possibly just be negative.

Although it reminds me of when I was a student in Switzerland and dreadfully homesick. I wrote a long letter to my parents pouring my heart out and got a reply thanking me for my entertaining, amusing, even hilarious version of life in Switzerland.
I’ll never know if they missed the point altogether or were cunningly psychologically inspired as by the time I got it I had cheered up and put my moans behind me.