What's the first thing you do? (Particularly the "nicely" endowed)

1. Remove the baked beans - horrible things.
2. Cover my front with a napkin
3. Sprinkle Hendersons' Relish on the sausage, tomatoes and fried bread.
4. Eat

Squeeze some tomato ketchup onto plate. Turn the plate so the egg is closest to me, cut some of the sausage, dip sausage into poached egg yolk plus some sauce- lean forward to reduce risk- eat!

I rarely have a full traditional cooked breakfast but when I do really enjoy and relish it. Even better if someone else has cooked it.

Worcestershire sauce added. Beans and black pudding scraped into bin, sorry! Beans have their place but not on a cooked breakfast.

Blossoming

Cover my front with a napkin.

I cover my front with a napkin anytime I go anywhere near food otherwise I would spend my entire life washing and ironing tee-shirts and other tops.
Messy McMess Face...........🤣🤣.

Dream of my American SIL's home made hash browns. The bought English ones just don't come close.

I can't abide baked beans on a cooked breakfast, ruins it completely. My favourite cooked breakfast consists of bacon, fried egg, fried bread, mushrooms and grilled tomatoes. Lovely.

Napkin first, or more likely, a tea towel, as I am messy.
But I would not have this at home for breakfast, only when I am away and then no black pudding, no mushrooms because I don’t like them, no tomatoes because they don’t like me. Baked beans for lunch, not for breakfast. This might be an occasional lunch at home.

My late Granny used to enjoy meals in bed in a Sunday. She was very good at making things. One of her triumphs was threading a hard plastic hair band through the hem of a napkin thus making a neat fitting half hoop round her neck with the napkin spread out down her front.

I like baked beans but would never have them for breakfast, although OK on toast for a bit of a supper snack. I used to love a cooked b'fast and my late DH used to make the full English on occasional wknds. The few times I've cooked it myself it's never been so enjoyable and have never got the fried bread as good.

When I used to get out and about more I used to dread having to eat breakfast in a hotel. I’ve never ate breakfast but hate paying for something and not being able to eat it. I do try to make myself something to take with me to eat later but I believe that it is frowned upon? I do love fried egg on toast, though, and it always upsets me if I overcook the egg and it isn’t runny . I also love black pudding.

I've never served baked beans with breakfast

Throw away the black pudding!

Reading the OP, I could have everything on that list apart from the fried bread.
The first thing I do? Pour on a decent amount of HP Sauce. Lovely.

That’s me blossoming, ‘napkin’, usually a tea towel 😂

What the heck does being "nicely endowed" -do you mean with big boobs?- have to do with breakfast/TIB/coffee/full English or not?
Or is OP just showing offagain ?

Send it back. I hate fried breakfasts.

We only have breakfast at weekends, and very rarely a cooked Welsh.
Usually croissants, yogurt, fruit or porridge.
Full cooked breakfasts are usually reserved for when we go away to an hotel in N Wales. Marvellous they are and absolutely no beans .

No breakfast plate of mine would ever have beans or tomatoes on but everything else is an option. DH would eat them both though.

I prefer Irish potato cakes to hash browns most of the time.

Anything that drops off the plate will end in my lap, not on my chest.

Put Tomato Ketchup on the plate..... probably next to the beans and sausages...... sorry!!

Labradora

Blossoming

Cover my front with a napkin.

I cover my front with a napkin anytime I go anywhere near food otherwise I would spend my entire life washing and ironing tee-shirts and other tops.
Messy McMess Face...........🤣🤣.

I see that I've answered this before ..... forgot the reference to being well-endowed. GotIt.
I'd be messy if I were flat-chested. Without a bib food would drop onto my lap rather than my chest.

I'd skip altogether the black pudding and bread/toast as I detest them both, so I would have extra eggs instead.

I don't ever cook as I don't like it and won't have an oven/cookers, so it would have to be in a cafe.

I'd make straight for the baked beans! Then hash browns, toms, mushrooms, bacon, then sausages, all washed down with a mug of hot chocolate with all the trimmings!

Forgot to mention, cover in tom sauce or mayo, or both, with mustard!

And vinegar!

I usually have a half a grapefruit which squirts at me so I have to change my top after breakfast anyway. First thing I do is move the plate back a bit so I don't inadvertently push it across the table and knock my teacup over.

The only time I ever have such a breakfast is when somebody else has cooked it! Almost always in a hotel. But I do really enjoy it - no black pudding though, thanks, or fried eggs with slimy uncooked white on top.