Alcoholism

Anniebach (((hugs)))

Anniebach, do get in touch with your local branch of Alanon. They are a group of people who have an alcoholic in their family and need support. They really do help you to get an understanding of the problem, enabling you to detach with love. It is an off shoot of AA.

Dear anniebach this is good reading on ways in which family members can help themselves and the person with the problem:

www.thecounselingcenter.org/The_Counseling_Center/10Ways.html

I also remembered about the research that says that there is a cumulative positive effect from the various treatment episodes that people have, in other words, relapse is part of a process, and each time someone enters treatment for addiction, they learn something to build on towards their recovery.

Of course everyone is different, but there is hope for your daughter.

Again, thank you all. I will contact Alanon, all the responses and kindness has helped me so much, I was suffering from headless chicken syndrome.

I will certainly hold into ' relapse is part of a process ' and thank you grannyknot for the link

How can I ever really put into words what your kindness has done for me, at times ' thank you' seems inadequate but it's all I can say

Thank you, each and everyone x

I volunteer in a rehab centre and found unbelievable stories of courage from the service users. Some are spouses/partners of an alcoholic and have suffered abuse, others are there for treatment.
Did anyone know that you can be an addict if you only have 1 glass of wine/beer etc a week. If you are dependant on that drink even once a week then you are addicted. Think of how many people are just dying for Friday night to come around to have that drink with their friends from the office.
I also feel sorry for the youngsters who often go on a binge from Friday night, all night and all Saturday through to Sunday lunchtime and just sober up enough for work on a Monday.
But the fact is that no matter how long you stay sober you always risk 'falling off the wagon' it has to be a lifetime commitment.

I don't see how anyone can be classed as an addict if they only drink one glass of whatever a week.

That was in the training I did. I think its ok as long as you know you can avoid it altogether. EG. If someone has a drink once a week/or two drinks etc and they really cant give it up that's when its a problem, however if they have those one or two drinks once a week but there comes a week when they may be expected to do something else or they are perhaps working a late shift and they know they can do without that drink then its ok.
I find the whole concept scary I know lots of folk who just live for the weekend to get drunk.

My sympathy to anyone out there who is suffering from alcohol abuse or a member of their family is

Well done you Silverfish- for your work as a volunteer. Yes it does seem strange to think one can be an addict, in this case, an alcoholic- if you just have a few drinks a week - but if not having it would cause one great anxiety and distress, then the signs are there. Don't want to detract from Annie's very moving post- but there are so many ways of being an alcoholic. When you see someone regularly falling in the street and gutter- it is so obvious. But in many ways, the regular consumption of fairly large amounts of alcohol by highly functioning alcoholics is more insidious and hidden because they are never apparently drunk. For many young people nowadays, drinking half or a bottle of wine every night after work is the norm- and a lot more at week-ends socially. They think it is perfectly OK because 'everyone' does it = it is normal- and also because they are highly successful individuals professionally. If alcohol is needed on a daily or regular basis to recover from the stresses of life- it can truly become an addiction and a problem- and cause permanent liver damage. It's estimated that at least 1/3 or the UK population is at serious risk of liver damage, pancreatitis, etc.

Annie glad to hear you will be contracting A/Anon for advice and support. More

I don't know what to say

I know this is bumping an old post but my heart goes out to anyone affected by the sickness which is alcoholism

My DD is not the same girl she used to be either , she SEEMS to be managing well but just underneath the surface is a very sad girl who likes to think she has control of things when she has NOT

Her drinking has put a terrible strain on the family and those who are familiar with my postings on the Grandparent forum will know the things I am going through at present

Things fell apart when I hit the exhaustion level after 5 months of full on care for my DD and DGS and one of them was way more difficult to deal with than the other

I can manage and cope with my DGS who has special needs - I CANNOT manage or cope with my DD when she has been drinking , it is a nightmare , cannot converse with her properly , it is just CHAOS and my DGS needs to be PROTECTED from chaos and so do I to be honest for my own peace of mind and my own health!!!!

There has to be some detachment and firm boundaries which I am beginning to put in place now , it's hard for her , but it's hard for me to stand by and watch and be AFFECTED by her drinking , she has to sort it out for herself and seek help , once she recognises she NEEDS it

It is a difficult situation when your loved one is drinking , you can't help them , you can only put the ''rules'' in place and stick to them yourself

I have always been there for my DD but I can't do it any more , only from arms length now and it seems I am going to have to be cruel to be kind xx