Agoraphobia.

I meant to say "wouldn't be there to help me."

Falconbird - this must be so trying for you. We all have different anxieties and with all the things that have happened to you recently it is not surprising that a problem like this should arise. The desire to hunker down somewhere that feels safe is a natural one when we are under stress. And we need to feel in control when life has dealt us unexpected blows.

It really might be worth talking to the doc - you could be referred for something like CBT which is aimed at putting you back in control.

You are doing well going shopping and to the cinema, so pat yourself on the back for that. That really is something to build on. This is something you can get over. One way forward might be to confide in your family (you may already have done so) and enlist their aid in gradually expanding your horizons.

I do wish you good luck with this.

go to your doc's. An antidepressant could help you a lot. But no doubt you will shriek in horror at that suggestion. As others on here have done.

Falconbird you sound like you have had an awful lot to deal with, I don't know if it anything to do with the bereavement, but! the last 3 or 4 months with me, If I have been out shopping in town I have a sudden urge to want to run home get inside and lock the door close the blinds etc, also when I am at friends house (even next door but one who have been very kind to me) I accept their invite for a light lunch, but whilst I am sat there eating I am just thinking "come on eat my sandwich hurry up I want to get home"! Sometimes when I get home im ok and the house comforts me, but then other times when I get home I think "I hate this house"! dh died at home in this house, so I don't know if that has anything to do with it.

Three times is a lot for you to have moved around, you must wonder where the heck you are when you wake up sometimes, I hope you find some peace soon..

falcon I'm one of the people that would shriek with horror at the suggestion that you rush straight for the anti-depressants. I thought they were not prescribed for situations where feeling sad or scared is understandable and appropriate (as in your case). It sounds as if you are doing a great job at looking after yourself and you do get out. We all have moments where we feel panicky and we can't all be depressed.

Didn't Paul McKenna just say he doesn't believe in CBT? Would hypnosks perhaps help you?

Antidepressants are not just for depression. Agoraphobia is a terrible thing to suffer from. (from experience) These days there is medical help available. It can change your life.

If Paul McKenna says he doesn't believe in CBT I think it's irresponsible of him.

I have no experience of it, but it does seem to be the therapy most favoured by the NHS at the moment, so why sow seeds of doubt in the minds of those who have put their faith in it?

When I suffered from panic attacks 30 years ago my GP prescribed valium. Thankfully, the medical profession has moved on since then!

Oh yes. "Mother's little helpers". Caused more panic attacks than they cured.

I think it would be wise to take the advice of your doc rather than Paul McKenna! - he is just a self-publicist. Serious hypnotherapists just get on with the job quietly.

There are lots of ways of helping those who are agoraphobic and it might help you to go to the doc and suss out the options. We cannot speculate on here what the most suitable help for you might be, but hopefully your doc will know what is available in your area - he/she will certainly have met this problem before and will have some ideas for you to consider.

Anti-depressants are sometimes prescribed for this as they can reduce anxiety, which is what lies behind agoraphobia, but it is likely that other suggestions for help might be made for you to make your own choice as to how you want to proceed.

You sound as if you are doing really well coping with this and that is good to build on.

I hope that you get the help you need and wish you every good luck with it. Acknowledging the problem is the first step and you have taken that.

I'm not surprised you feel like this Falconbird, you've been through all the most stressful life events there are, in a short timescale!
Severe stress often leads to panic attacks, I do know a little about how you feel about not leaving the house 'just in case'.
Certainly your doctor's the best person to help, a short course of antidepressants helped me.
and (((hugs))) x

I've been to a hypnotherapist, CBT in a group, Cruse and I'm on a low dose of Diazapam all of which have helped to a point.

I think the problem is that when my husband retired we went everywhere together in the car. I don't drive so it's left me feeling vulnerable. We used to love going out in the car and it was a safe place to retreat to if either of us felt a bit unwell.

It was a place where we could "hunker down" as Mishap put it. I feel exactly as you said Bikergran, when I'm out I often want to be at home and when I'm at home I sometimes don't like it. My DH didn't die here it's just the feeling of loneliness and loss of companionship.

My little luxury is the occasional taxi which does help if I have to make a longer journey. I hope the symptoms will pass in time because I have had offers of holidays and days out which I have had to refuse.

When I was younger I used to imagine myself in the distant future as a "Merry Widow" travelling about like an intrepid explorer - no chance at the moment.

You are doing all the right things - hang on in there.

I am on an anti-depressant at the moment and get deeply exasperated (and sad) at the very slow progress - but sometimes these things need time, frustrating though that is. You have to gird up your loins and know that things will get better in time.

Try writing down 3 things each day that have gone well; what may seem like small achievements, like going to the shops, are important and need to be acknowledged.

Doctors do not have time to discuss the problems of agoraphobia , first step is anti depressants then they refer you to a therapist or or you local NHS mental health dept, because of the cut backs mental health teams are overloaded with referrals but not enough staff, when you finally have your appointment you will probably be given a weekly appointment with a therapist or a CPN , this will be for x number of weeks . If you choose to visit a CBT councillor they charge at one hundred pounds per hour .

Mental health has always been and still is back of the queue for medical help.

Falconbird, do keep going to the shops etc, do not be tempted to avoid one thing you are now doing , agoraphobia is so sneaky , every time you take a step back from an activity you are doing now, the phobia will take a step forward but every time you take a step forward the phobia has to take a step back. I have agoraphobia x

Anniebach, some areas do offer CBT on the NHS.

There is CBT on the NHS here, but a bit of a wait for one to one. Counsellors round here cost between £45 and £55 an hour - I think it varies around the country.

CBT in a group tends to be about learning about the ideas behind it; one to one is more about tailoring the techniques to you specific needs so you may find that more helpful.

Enlisting your family in fighting this off is a good plan - I know you do not want to burden them (none of us do) but it may be that they have a lot to offer, with gentle encouragement and background support.

for you falconbird but no real advice. Grief and pain really take a toll on us. I got shakey and nervous about going out last year. The effort of forcing myself was exhausting and made me feel worse. I like you in my youth imagined myself as being like some sort of strong matriarch full of vigour, confidence and enlighten advice. Oh the naivety of youth. I hope you feel a little better each day until you can see a little light at the end of the tunnel

Ana, yes CBT is available on the NHS but waiting lists can be long and the number of visits are limited , the problem is with the likes of Agoraphobia there is no set time limit for recovery, for some they can recover within the short time they are receiving therapy, for others it can take much longer, much depends on what triggered it , some therapists believe the cause doesn't matter just how to deal with the recovery

I agree that severe stress can cause all sorts of problems. We are human beings and can only take so much before something has to 'give'. I have no advice to give as I haven't suffered from agoraphobia but have had severe panic attacks and anxiety issues after many awful events. I hope you can find a solution falconbird

Falconbird Don't put yourself under any pressure, just keep taking small steps forward, and time will help.
I've been through a lot of similar feelings and panic attacks. I can't go abroad any more, thanks to very abusive episodes with my first ex, unless I'm with several people that make me feel safe.
My house has been my sanctuary for years, and I still get nervous going somewhere new, but I daren't give in to the fear.
Keep trying, it will get better

falcon.

I didn't really know how agoraphobia is diagnosed, but having googled it, I understand it to be anxiety and panic attacks related to leaving one's house or being out in public.

I've suffered from panic attacks in the past (many moons ago), which often came on when I was out and about. I've written about it on other forums. I was fortunate to see a doctor who explained to me that it had to do with having many stressful events in a short space of time - as said above.

I went through a difficult time since we moved here a few years ago and went to the GP and he referred me for a short course of CBT. It was a complete waste of time. I don't think that you're going to change behaviour in six weeks. My memory of it is about faded, many times photocopied sheets I had to complete, and a group of people that just made me feel worse. I persevered for a while and then bailed - self-discharged.

Given that falcon has tried just about everything, perhaps hypnosis (by a reputable practitioner) might help.

My anxieties vanished when the situation that was causing me anxiety, changed.

Exposure therapy used to be the recognised treatment for phobias.
I think you would have to have a referral from your GP to a clinical psychologist.
Consists of making a list of fear situations from low to high then being exposed to each level, accompanied by relaxation exercises, until the fear diminishes.

Diazepam?! I thought they didn't keep people on that for very long. I really thought ssri's had replaced the sleepy-making stuff.

A lot of people still prescribe it unfortunately

I have agoraphobia. You're doing really well getting out and about. You have to keep pushing yourself to go to shops etc. Is there someone you trust who you could go out with. I can't leave the house without my DH, my mum or my DDs with me.