How being estranged from our grandchildren impacts on our health.

Gransupport I have already apologised to Maniac, and I apologise to you too, if what I said upset you.
However, if you post something like this on an open forum, the implication is that you are inviting other members to comment and express an opinion.
It's as well to bear in mind that just as with anyone else who posts on here, you might not like what you read.
But you shouldn't blame anyone who has merely expressed their opinion.

Thanks to all who have posted apologies,support and good wishes
I did feel upset about the first responses.
Yes we are just trying to increase awareness by GPs,politicians and anyone with influence.
We try to stay positive but every birthday,etc reminds us of the loss.
You could help by printing off the letter and delivering a copy to your surgery
-more likely to be read than an email.
Thanks you.

Maniac; I used to work at our local surgery. I will certainly copy the letter and personally hand it to the doctors and explain why I'm doing so, especially as I've been in your position [albeit only for a short time but long enough to realise how painful it is] .

In theory it sounds Ok but I suspect most GPs will secretly think that the grandparents have caused this breach. There is no proof either way.
In the 21st century we have an idealised idea of family life. In previous centuries families were businesses and were bound by surviving togethr better than alone.
Many families don't get on and your GP will know of hundreds, As to this particular case the grandson is 16 and if he loves and needs his grandparents he will find a way to see them. At that age they don't have much time for anyone but their peers - only in soap operas or Rosamunde Pilcher novels.

GPs know their patients and know that there is nothing they can do about it

No one is asking GP's to heal these breaches, just understand the distress that these situations are causing. GP's don't actually know their patients all that well .

I do think that alienation is a form of abuse. It is harmful to the child, denying contact with absent parent and grandparents is distressing and cruel. It is seen as a form of abuse in USA I believe and so it should be. My grandchildren have been told horrendous stories about their father, all of which untrue and can do the psyche of the children no good at all. They grow up with a poor image of themselves and a lack of trust in the World.

I do so agree about most GPs not knowing their patients these days. I've posted elsewhere about the importance of treating the whole person.

In my new practice the doctors seem to work part time hours and so can rarely get to know anyone really well.

I had the same GP for over 20 years and I didn't have to keep explaining things to him - miss that a lot because consultations only last about 10 minutes.

In France I believe grandparents have a legal right to see their grandchildren, Not sure how that works.

I have recently become estranged from my son, daughter-in-law and grandson. I have always been a happy person and a bit of a Polyanna and for the first time in my life of more than 60 years I have the dark shadow of depression blighting my life. I used to exercise everyday, tokl care of my appearance, enjoyed being out and was interested in all sorts of things. Now it is even a struggle to write this, I feel so lethargic. A don't feel abused but used and discarded. I just would like parents to know the extreme emotional hurt that they can impart on their loving parents.

Take heart lizzyr shortly after my dh passed away in 2012 my youngest son estranged himself from me and his two brothers.

I have posted a lot about this but to cut a long story short my ys believed himself to have been badly treated emotionally and financially after his dad passed away.

I heard nothing from him for over about 18 months - absolute silence. I didn't know what to do with myself but the doc put me on Valium and that helped to ease the pain.

I've stopped taking it now and my son is back in touch but not with his brothers.

I still feel very hurt by the way he treated me and can't really ever feel the same way about him or his wife again - but stay strong lizzyr things might resolve themselves - I really hope so.

If you feel too overwhelmed it always helps to talk to a GP.

So many posts on this forum are about this very problem, and the pain and distress expressed make me think that it would be a good thing for GPs to be aware of this in patients. It has never, thank goodness, happened to me.....not yet....but the very idea of being unable to see any of my DGS!

Not sure that it some cases it isn't psychological abuse/manipulation!

and ((hugs)) to anyone going through this.