Substance abuse - how do I deal with it?

Marelli

I hate the b----y stuff.

I have posted before on another thread, I think on the Health Forum how I have experience of having a loved one who ' is a drug addict'.

I don't want to go over the cruel, horrible testimony again but I understand your utter despair at being so helpless .

Your son is doing the right things but it will be so hard for him. He will respect your love for him and the need to help but in my experience until 'the addict' (don't want to sound cruel) hits rock bottom he may have an uphill battle to 'get clean'. He sounds as though he accepts he needs help but keeping it up is his biggest problem.

All I can say is carry on showing your love but talk about the situation , watch for mood swings and accept the fragility of the circumstances you are all sharing. Does that make sense?

It takes time but I hope you all find the will to get through it. Heartfelt sincere wishes to you all.

Oh Marelli I'm not in the position to offer any advice, but I would like you to know that I am thinking about you and your son. Addiction/ Drugs (in whatever form) are evil. They take hold of a good person and turn them into someone we neither like very much or understand (but sadly still love very much which is why we get so hurt). I know only too well that things are a million times worse in the middle of the night, but I hope you feel comfort in knowing that there are probably a lot of us lying awake, worrying just the same as you. We are mothers and grandmas and that's what we "do".
Sending you love and hugs. Xx

Hello Marelli

I have just gone through the hell of a lovely granddaughter almost destroying herself by substance abuse.She is 19 now and weaned off them after becoming addicted at 16. Her last fixes were on legal highs which are horrible things.

She still has bad mood swings but not as many as before.She is having treatment and is sticking to it.I was involved a lot in her recent life as her mother(ex DIL) could no longer cope with her behaviour.

My thoughts are with you and your son.

Thank you, POGS, gillybob and pinkprincess.
POGS, he did hit rock bottom about 5 years ago, and gradually became a good bit better. Then, he started using again, but not as often (this is how much he's told me, anyway). He first took amphetamines when he was 19, apparently, so that's 25 years....
I found it hard enough to deal with when I found out the first time, but I really thought he'd stopped using. When I discovered it had been happening again, and had been doing, for some time, I felt as if it was the end of the world. Maybe that sounds a bit over the top, but it really is how I felt.

Marelli

No my dear not over the top at all.

I had a situation ,not to do with drugs, but I was a perfect match for a relative for a blood transplant and when it went on and on I found the Samaritans a tremendous help. I think it takes a good while for a GP to refer you to a counsellor so go as soon as possible for a referral and the Samaritans are good listeners( as are Gransnetters )

Thank you, Stansgran, it's something to consider.