Someone's come for my dad.

By the way, the heading it because he keeps stretching his arms out as though he can see something, staring ahead beyond the wall. His dad said his own mum had come back for him, stood at the end of the bed, he was in good health and within weeks he died. So I do think someone his calling for him. Hopefully it's his mate from his childhood who I found out only a few weeks ago had also died.

rubylady It sounds as if goodbye isn't far away – and it's always hard. It is hardly surprising that you are upset and finding it difficult to sleep. I shouldn't yet start worrying about funeral arrangements – and humour – but it does seem likely that the time is not far off. When someone you love dies, the funeral or other farewell is for those who loved him or her left behind. As a daughter and, maybe your divorced mum – you are allowed to choose what seems the right way to say how you feel.

I'm sorry it's such a hard time for you. Maybe a hospice bed would be more appropriate?

Maybe, but I have to take in travelling and cost of that. The bed I've got for him is only a few streets away and if need be, I can be there quicker than the hospice which is on the other side of town.

rubylady it is very hard saying goodbye, will be thinking of you.

It will be hard for you over the next few days or weeks. I'm sure you'll do what you think is best for your dad. That was very touching - your mum going in to see you dad like that.

Your dad will be comforted just knowing that you're there for him, rubylady. He'll know he can trust you to do the right thing for him. If you feel happy with the place you've found nearby, then go for it.
Things will fall into place when the time comes. x

I think we are all with you at this time. There are no words that can really comfort you. Those of us who have been through similar experiences who are with you in thought.

Preparing for end of life of a parent brings up so much Ruby. You are doing the very best you can. My Mum saw people and things towards the end of her life, we knew it was a side effect of morphine for pain. Could it be something similar with your Dad? Whatever it is don't worry if he isn't distressed by it. Be kind to yourself, as others have so rightly said things will fall into place. Say goodbye in your own way. Will be thinking of you

ruby

Just a quick (((hugs))) ruby. My mum has been on end of life care for the last six weeks and her nursing home are being fantastic. Mum is seeing people too. It's quite disconcerting but she isn't distressed by it and one of the carers said that she is probably seeing people she loves and who love her and feels surrounded by love.

We are here if you need us!

A difficult time for you ruby I hope you have someone to help you, another family member or friend . My thoughts are with you, I hope GN is helping, it does for me.

Lots of virtual hugs ruby

for you ruby

rubylady

A tough time for you, ruby. Stay strong

I'd like to add ruby, that you must take care of yourself at this time too. When we were first told that mum only had a couple of days to live (6 weeks ago)my brothers and I, between us, spent all day with her. It was exhausting and I certainly not functioning properly. Make sure you don't expect too much of yourself and that no-one else does either.

My dad was like that too ruby
It's a very sad, upsetting time so please let it out by talking to us on here if you need to. ((((Hugs))))

What a sad time for you. So confusing with old memories and being brave for him.. I know,everyone's thoughts go out to you as many of us have had to say goodbye to our parents in similar circumstances.

Sad story, ruby. I hope he can be made comfortable in body and mind. Flowers for you both, and your mum .

It's good that your dad can 'see' someone waiting for him, it'll give him comfort. My dad said his mother was waiting for him. So real in the end I could feel her too!

. Look after yourself Ruby.

I'm so sorry ruby. My thoughts are with you and your family

Ruby, resist the hospital urging you to move him. If the end is near they should just be making him comfortable. Anything else is cruel to you both.

Ruby