Someone's come for my dad.

Hi Ruby

I love your choice of songs, ' I like a nice cup of tea in the morning'.

May I join in with all the other posters who have said how pleased they were your dads send off went so well. Now you really must try to look after yourself , as I am sure your dear dad would have wanted you to do.

. for you and your dad. X

Thank you for sharing the details of your dad's last journey with us Ruby. You couldn't have done more. Please think of yourself now. Don't be surprised if you are exhausted. Why wouldn't you be? Take care. X

ruby you did so well. I was crying by the end of your post because it brought back memories of my Dad's funeral nearly 20 years ago. I still miss being able to tell him things that crop up during my every day life and I get feeling you'll be just the same. Talking about him keeps his memory alive and often remark to my husband about something my Dad would have liked. I'm glad you've got your son to share your memories of your Dad with as the years pass.

Your Dad will always be in your heart and you know you were loved. Time to take care of yourself for a bit now.

I hope I dont offend anyone by what Im going to say.
I think its true that when we lose a loved one and the love bond is very strong, then that loved one is stll close by in spirit, untll
we have recovered from the immediate pain. Thats when we feel the closeness and feel the need to talk to them. So just do that talking for as long as you need to.
A reĺative of mine told me something when I asked him if he ever felt his Mom around him. He said yes especially when after taking a shower hed feel like a towel had slapped him in a friendly way, which was something she did ocassionally in an affectionate way. I thought that was lovely and I could just imagine her doing that.
She was a lovely Mom to her only child in a very understated way.
God Bless you I. Love you and miss you still as our joint Birthdays draw near. XX

So sorry for you and your family Ruby. My Mum died with cancer 4 years ago and she was reaching out too. It upset me at the time, I didn't know who she was reaching out to, probably my Dad who passed 11 years ago.

My husband has been in a Nursing Home for the last 10 years, he has advanced Alzheimer's. I would prefer him to pass away there rather than in the hospital, the staff are so lovely to him even though he doesn't have a clue who they are, including me, about anything - apart from when there's food around, he opens his mouth for that like a baby bird in a nest. I know he will have someone with him when the time comes. (if I'm not there for any reason) The home is his home and has been for 10 years. When he has to go into hospital, he's always agitated so I stay with him all day but I don't need to at the home because he has the nurses and carers.

I think I waffled rather a lot there - sorry.

Ruby You certainly did your Dad proud in spite of all the difficulties. As Cornergran says you will probably feel totally exhausted and drained. Although I am not at all religious or 'spooky', I agree with Bez that our loved ones remain close by in spirit. Perhaps it is the heightened awareness that we feel at the time of births and deaths but I felt my beloved father's presence for month's after his death and again, very strongly, some 15 years later when I first held my newborn Grandson.

More and (((hugs)))

Ruby your arrangements sound perfect and I'm so pleased you had that special time to spend with your dad - the items you put in with him were obviously just right for him (we put chocolate buttons amongst other things in with mine as he used to love them). The funeral director in particular seems to have been wonderful and I'm sure helped you get through the very emotional day. I too loved your song choices. I wouldn't give a second thought to your families behaviour - you rose above them and came out dignified and so much better than them - I'm sure your dad would have been very proud of you and your son. Now its time for you to start thinking of yourself and the future

Thank you all so much I really do appreciate your support.

I've not been on because last night I had an emergency appointment at the doctors. I keep going hot and cold, throat feels like it has two tennis balls in it, headaches, shaking, and chest rattling and coughing.

Doctor gave me antilbiotics, chest and throat infection, reaction I think to everything that has happened.

Today I noticed a rash on my ankles, I checked other places and rashy all over. I feel terrible. I've just ordered some more food on top of my normal order, getting more soups, fresh fruit, vit C, palatable food as I don't want to eat and I haven't had a cup of tea for days.

Has anyone else had a reaction like this after losing someone?

How long until antibiotics kick in?

Xxx

Dear Rubylady,

The rash could be an allergic reaction to the antibiotics so best to tell your doctor. I had a reaction like that some years ago.

When my mum passed away I had a double middle ear infection and when my dh passed away I lost two stone in four months because I was forgetting to eat.

Do try to keep up your fluids Ruby - you are really going through it and my heart goes out to you.

I've been given some anti biotics for a chest infection and they took about 24 hours before I felt some relief.

I wish I could find better words to express how I feel for your sadness.

Is the antibiotic penicillin?

You can develop an allergy to it at any time, so best to check with the GP just in case. It could be part of the viral infection but best to be on the safe side.