Someone's come for my dad.

Thinking of you today Rubylady

I'm thinking of you too. This kind of day is very hard. I hope you have somone to lean on in the real world. Breath slow and deep rubylady (((((hugs))))

Thinking of you rubylady

It'll be such a hard day today, rubylady, but you've done so very well under terrible pressures.
Try to let the others just be as they are. They can't help themselves. Your dad knew how much you loved him and cared for him right to the end.
Thinking of you today.

Ruby Hope today goes smoothly, try to let everything wash over you, and just concentrate on getting through it. You've done so well up to now, good luck (((hugs)))

I do hope all goes well for you today Ruby. You will cope brilliantly as you gave up to now and you will do your dad proud.

Thinking of you today Ruby

Keep very calm today * Ruby* don't let anyone upset you or spoil the day on which you say goodbye to your dad. I wish you peace and kind thoughts.

Ruby. Thinking of you today. Please come back to us later. X

Hi, it's me. I thought I would let you know how it all went. Thank you so much for your good wishes. X

I have been taken under the wing of the funeral director, Stephen (the boss) and he turned up at 8.30am with our car. We went to the Chapel of Rest. He told me that no one had been up to that point to see him, which I was horrified about, thinking of him on his own all that time. He had been told off my brother that he would see my dad yesterday (Monday) but didn't show up.

Anyway, flowers gorgeous, in the shape of a cup of tea and two displays, one off my son and one my dad's pets. My dad looked at peace, they had done a good job of getting him ready. I put some flowers in with him, photos, tea bags, a wooden heart engraved with a joke and message and Stephen put a wooden cross around his neck for me. I then spoke to him for about half an hour, thanking him, telling him how I will miss him and already do. I kissed him goodbye three times, I didn't want it to be final. But I had to.

No one turned up at the funeral directors so it was just the hearse and our car. Stephen walked in front of the hearse, top hat, cane, fully togged up, very respectful of my dad. When we got to the main road he stopped, turned towards my dad, took his hat off, bowed and then got into the car. I was so emotional about that, lovely.

We then did a route of the houses my dad (and us) had lived in and a couple of places of work. When we got to the supported housing where his flat is, staff and residents were outside waiting for us to pass. Stephen backed my dad up to the top of the car park so they could see better. I got out of the car and went and hugged them, crying my eyes out by their kindness.

We proceeded to the crematorium where all the rest of them were, my sister with her girlfriend and some mates she had seemed to invite, my brother and his adult sons, my mother and carers from his supported housing. The vicar was there and we got lead in after the coffin was carried in by poll bearers from the funeral directors. We started with Mr. Blue Sky by ELO, the vicar did prayers and told of my dad's life. We were then offered time to reflect while the next song played, "I like a nice cup of tea in the morning" which had me laughing and crying. I had done a picture for the top of the coffin where he was in work gear, smiling away and with a plastic cup of tea in his hand. More prayers off the lovely, sensitive vicar and then curtains closed to Ella Fitzgerald and Loius Armstrong, "Dream a little dream of me".

We got ushered out then into the annex. I spoke to the carers who had come and one of my nephews came to give me a hug but no one else spoke to me. Within minutes though Stephen asked me to get back in the car and the driver would take us wherever we wanted. He lent to kiss me and give me a hug, which was nice. (He knew me from primary school apparently). He also picked a rose out of my display and handed it to me to press. His service he provided was excellent, smooth running and very respectful, I couldn't have asked for a more fitting day for my lovely dad.

We got dropped off at a local restaurant where I nearly asked the driver how much I owed him! I am so used to taxis! We had our lunch, sharing stories and having a laugh about things my dad has said over the years and then we came home. I then, after about 10 minutes, felt like I had been run over by a steam roller, aching all over. I have had a sleep since and also sorted my tablets back out as I have been all over the place this last couple of weeks with them.

I am having a day off tomorrow and then it's appointments on Thursday to sort out his finances with banks etc.

I feel a bit happier now. It has been very stressful and of course I would rather have him here to still watch The Chase with and have a brew but he is now at peace and will be watching over me and taking care of me in a different way from now on.

So glad that your dad's funeral went as you had hoped Ruby. Thank you for telling us about it. It sounded very personal to him and sensitively managed by the vicar and funeral director. Perhaps this will help you move forward a little. Good luck with all the practical business you have to deal with now. Hopefully the siblings won't give you trouble.

You brave brave girl Rubylady you gave your Dad a proper send off. How proud he would have been of you.

As you say it is now time to sort your tablets, give yourself time to rest and get yourself back on track.

All your Gransnet Pals are behind you.

Glad you had a 'good' day yesterday. It sounds as though you did your dad proud. Now take time to rest.

Well done ruby you can be proud of the sendoff you gave him. Try to relax a little now and put your self first

It's good to hear the send off for your dad went well ruby, you can rest up a bit now.

Thank you for letting us know, it was a moving and fitting day for your Dad and you ruby.
Take care now.

Ruby you did your lovely Dad proud.
Your account of the lovely funeral made me cry.
Tomorrow is the first anniversary of my dad passing away.
Hope he meets up with your dad as he also loved his cuppa.
"Two sugars please" he used to say every time!
hopefully sometime soon for you ruby

Thank you for sharing your special day Ruby. Your Dad would be very proud of you.

ruby you gave your DD the perfect 'send off', he would be very proud of you. Time for you, now. I know you still have his affairs to sort out, but take your time and don't exhaust yourself trying to do everything at once. Sending you to keep you going.

DD = Dear Dad in my post

Thank you ruby

Sounds like you did your Dad proud ruby thank you for sharing with us

It is good to be able to look back and know that you did everything right and arranged a proper farewell.

Well done, take care over the coming days and weeks.

So glad everything went well Ruby, and that you can now feel your dad is at peace. It sounds as though the funeral director took great care of you. Take care and time to get over everything, and then you will start to remember the happy times that you and your dad had together xx