Social Anxiety

Ramblingrose, I totally agree with what you say, I tend to be ok talking to people, I never give a lot away about myself as I never feel interesting enough and never want to come across as a moaner or make people feel miserable. I suppose in one sense what I do know about myself is that I am a people pleaser and just for once I need to please myself for a change. It just goes to show though that this problem is more common than you think. I also don't want to avoid certain social situations, I am happy to say no if I genuinely don't fancy it but a lot of the time I would like to go with the flow. Life is too short to be fretting all the time, you never know what's round the corner, if my head and heart could synchronise then all would be better.

Just goes to show it's never too late to open up and share a problem.
I, too, am surprised at how many of us have suffered with it and are suffering. That is strange comfort and takes some of the isolation away.
I suffered with this badly when young - never as a child - it came with teenage years. It has been a damaging element in my life. In my thirties I took a job where I had to work with the public and that helped a lot, although it didn't go away totally. Parties and meeting new people were a sore trial. I often could not utter a word.
Once when I was feeling particularly sad about it and very alone, I sent a cry for help up into the ether and got a reply it seemed. Think outside yourself about the comfort of others when they are in your company. That was the essence of it. Of course it didn't work straight away but I kept trying and now a few years on I no longer think of myself as shy or socially anxious. There is another post on here about focusing on something outside your own head. Similar tactic I think.
Lets hope that what has worked for us can work all round.
At least if we meet someone at a gathering who looks like a rabbit in the headlights we can put out a hand to them and empathise with how they may be feeling.

I wish there was a 'like' button on here.

Two things that have helped me: way way back I was working in the Outback and I told a friend I felt self conscious walking across the upstairs landing which was open air and therefore public, could be seen by everyone in the beer garden below. She said "Don't think of yourself, think of them!" And that caught me up short and I learned to change my focus.
Many years later I was invited to a do at the Bulgarian Embassy and was sick with fear. So I pretended (to myself) that I was Linda Thorsen, who used to stride through the Crucible foyer with such panache and I copied her and got through it.
Good luck x

I too am anxious about going out and I worry usually needlessly on the rare occasions I do go .
I try to dress quietly in black and shrivel into a corner trying not to bring attention to me. I have to go to a conference for work soon and I'm horrified by the thought of it. I shall just try to be invisible. there is no other way apart form it its a social occasion where you can take someone with you then you have company and its not so bad.

Ethelbags I can so relate to sitting in the corner hoping no one sees me sort of dispersing into the surroundings I too CANNOT walk into a room of people I don't know

Mine has got worse since I ve been on my own( a long time now) but I feel I ve gone back to the very shy child I was it's like I came out when I was a couple now gone back BUT if you ask anyone that knows me they would say I m an extrovert character because I believe I ve learnt to act well but really inside I am wreck I often refuse gatherings then sit on my own thinking everyone in the world is having a better time than me haha, totally unexplainable, and self inflicted I d SO love to be a social butterfly enjoying parties and gatherings instead of dreading them

BlueBelle, I can also relate to what you are saying, I think you get in to the habit of not going out and then refusing or making excuses when the invitations come along, it becomes a vicious circle. I too would like to be that social butterfly that you described.