The Black Dog Gang

Hi Dragonfly, I live in South Yorkshire, at my hospital I was given a breast nurse and I could phone her and talk to her seems like every where works different. If I was in your position I think I would be doing some asking, there has to be some one you can go or talk to. You should not have to do this on your own, do some shouting dragonfly. We are hear if you need to talk ..

My troubles are insignificant compared to others here. I am struggling with reactive depression, hits me in the mornings but fades through the day. Frustration plays a big part , I work out ways to help myself then a spanner in the works .

Had therapy session yesterday, only been out on Fred once this year , therapist says ‘ you must do it every day’ , want to snap ‘I know ,you erect the shelter for Fred and I can ‘ been waiting a month for my brother to send someone to do it!

Then she said ‘ you must walk the front path every day’ grrr,
I can’t, Fred is parked on the path’ .

Not having windows done , have to pay someone to take down and put up curtains and blinds . Some to remove baby gate, ( it’s to stop my dogs doing a runner), someone to move furniture, and put dogs into dog care, extra charge for them to be collected, this as well as the window fitters in the bungalow all day the same time I have to do end of year returns for brothers firm.

And Mothering Sunday was upsetting , younger daughter can’t have children , grandchildren no longer have their mother and I no longer have my beloved daughter,

Sorry , x

Your troubles are certainly not insignificant Annie. Far from it. I don't know how you've got through it. I'm struggling big time with anxiety. Been to GP again today. Went to pieces in there. Blood pressure off the scale. Now worrying that I'll have a stroke. It's relentless isn't it?

Oh Annie don't be sorry. I am sorry you are feeling this way. But at least you do not have to have the windows done. Can you not chivvy your brother along about Fred's shed. It would be one step forward to get that done.

Joce I am not really alone. I have a nurse come to the house to control my bloods and heart. I see my oncologist on the 30th and I have a number to call if necessary. There is also a Macmillan centre at the hospital. I am just frustrated that taking the pills seems to be such a slow method of treating what I have. Unfortunately it is unusual so not straight forward. I do not know the questions to ask to be honest.

Annie no one's feelings are insignificant and you said yourself that you should never feel you should say 'I shouldn't feel like this'. You have an illness just as if you had a broken leg! Come on here and vent as much as you want and do what you CAN of the therapy! Therapist will have to go at YOUR pace!

Hi dragonfly, I hope I did not upset you with my comments.. I am not very good with word. Anniebach your troubles are not insignificant at all, we all struggle with our probalams, no one know how we feel only each and every one off us know that.. mine is the same Annie I wake every morning about 4 in a panick my head won’t stop, has the day goes on I start to feel a little better then it’s time for bed again, I really dread the mornings and I should be thanking god for another day. I have felt better for 2 days now I am back to where I started..

Black dog gang, first of all I apologise if this is an inappropriate place for me to post but I don’t know where else to go for help and I don’t want to start a new thread.

I am watching over ( not there all the time) a friend who has depression.

I can’t get her to eat. This has been going on now for about eight weeks and she is getting thinner and thinner. She has been to the doctors and has some medication but I seem to be the only one worrying about food. I am talking about minuscule amounts when I am there. Yesterday: a quarter slice of bread, a small piece of fish (with encouragement) a cup of custard. That’s it.

Am I worrying too much? How long can someone survive like this? She has never carried any extra weight.

Please help if you can.

How kind you all are x

The council haven’t given up, received a phone call yesterday , they are coming to see me again Monday to discuss my refusal to have the windows . It seems I am making a fuss about the windows but now I live in such isolation I fear 4 or 5 people in my bungalow, in my bedroom .

I am tired, feel I have been battling alone for so long , I want
To concentrate on my recovery from the agoraphobia and food phobia, but things keep blocking me.

Can’t believe I am in bits over the council and their damn windows, a few years ago I took on the Welsh Assembly and won. I need to find that person again ?

Eglantine read your post after I posted mine.

Has your friend said ‘i’m Not hungry’ or I don’t want to eat’?

I ask as someone who had an eating problem 43 years ago after my husband died and it’s back after my daughter died,

Please talk to us, x

Thank you for replying. I hoped someone could give me help who had experienced not eating. She says “I’m not hungry” Or “I don’t want anything” if I ask.

If I make a meal (obviously I didn’t just dish up a piece of fish on the plate) she tries a little bit and then says I can’t eat anymore”.

I don’t know how to respond.

Without prying Annie, but I know your daughter died some months ago. Have you not been eating all that time? You are still here so am I worrying too much.

That sounds really heartless. I’m not any good at all those lovely words that other people seem to be able to post. I do feel for you.

The only thing I can say is that when you are depressed or suffering with anxiety, your stomach is constantly churning and you can feel physically sick. The last thing you want to do is eat.

Joce of course you didn't upset me. Your words were very kind and thoughtful. I am sorry to hear you are back where you started.

Oh Annie those wretched windows have turned into a bogey man. I am so sorry. Unfortunately people who have never suffered from anxiety/depression have no idea what a big deal things can be. I hope you can convince them not to do them. At least if they are coming you can give your reasons.

Eglantine I am sorry to hear about your friend. My mother is the same and will not eat. She weighs under 6 stone but is only 5'2. As she is 98 and has dementia I do not think there is anything to be done. As others have said if you are depressed your stomach does not accept food. Would she have those protein drinks do you think? Is there a reason for her depression? I would have hoped she could get some help from the GP. Could you have a word with them?

Eglantine I only eat rice cakes with honey for breakfast, my other meals are ‘Ensure’ a meal replacement, my GP prescribed them over a year ago. I am having therapy but am working on the agoraphobia first, then will deal with the food.

If I may ask ? Did your friend tell her GP she was off her food?

Is she taking vitamins? Did something kick the depression off ?

I don’t know what she has said to her GP and I dont think they would talk to me because I am not a relative. I have texted her daughter who lives some distance away to say I am worried but when her daughter phones my friend “puts a good face on it” if you know what I mean.

Im pretty sure she doesn’t take vitamins or anything in the way of supplements.

I know she doesn’t like living alone. I thought maybe if I went to stay for a couple of days a week then she would eat on those days with company but it hasn’t worked so far.

I feel totally helpless. I’ve googled “not wanting to eat” etc but it doesn’t come up with anything helpful.

I suppose I just want reassurance that she won’t actually die through not eating.

Eglantine has she recently only been living alone?

Her husband died nearly five years ago and she had a rocky patch then and lost a lot of weight but sthe last three years or so have seemed fine, especially as the grandchildren came along.

She is thinking of moving to be closer to them.

If you are able to talk freely to her, perhaps saying a move takes energy ?

If she has only been on medication a short while it will take time to kick in.

Perhaps when she was well she liked treats, chocolate, cream buns etc , not healthy eating I know but may kick start the taste buds , and she should take a multivitamin.

Life can be difficult enough without me kicking my own Butt, taking on too much or not doing enough, and due to the transition being so slow from one to the next unless I'm paying close attention I don't notice the shift, like when I'm preoccupied ..

I'm back here again and I'm so sorry for every one hear who is feeling depressed. I'm down again because the osteopath says he thinks I cant be fixed pain wise and the weather is horrible, I'm dieting and cant lose weight and I haven't seen my daughters and grandchildren in ages. Sorry it just came out like the stuff coming out of my eyes today.

Teetime let the stuff come out here x

Constant pain does drag us down and as for the weather , we need sunshine .

Are you a long distance from your daughters and grandchildren? My younger daughter is a five hour drive away so I only see her twice a year and my three grandchildren moved away last summer, I miss them so much.

Are you able to get out of the house or does the pain restrict
this ?

Teetime I am so sorry you are feeling down too. Sundays for me are the worst. I haven't seen my DS and DGC since Christmas. They keep saying we must get together but it never happens. Somehow I think they are keeping away because of my BC. They can't face up to it.
BTW it was lovely to meet you the other day and you do not look as if you need to lose weight!!

Hi

Windows sorted , I can have the work done anytime I choose in the next three years , such a relief

That’s a relief annie

Aww that’s brill Annie, hope you can just forget about um for now..