Black dog gang

Thank you Annie you are actually an inspiration to all of us x

canonlytry. I understand the feeling of being alone, I think we probably all do but you are one of many.

Been off for a couple of days. Rambling thoughts about what I have read now:

1. We try to show our best 'face' to our loved ones and ones we don't know because we know that, no matter how hard they try, they simply cannot understand how we feel.
2. I get frustrated by those who appear to be simply having a bad day or a bit sad and wail about it as if they are really ill. Does that make me insensitive? When they appear to be having a jolly good time mostly are they really just hiding how they feel?
3. Should we book holidays in the hope they will 'take us out of ourselves? Thinking about some of the stupid things people do on holidays because life doesn't feel real. It did help me when we were away but put me back when I got home.
4. Should we put things in our diaries so that when the day comes we force ourselves to do them?
5. Understand the frustration with HMRC. First question they ask is your NI number, from which they know your age. I told them I had paid too much tax and a very patronising voice asked me why I thought that. I said I had my P60s and a calculator and told him the exact amount! He changed his attitude!

Rambling again.

You are right on most points Nonnie but I disagree about people simply having a bad day. I have good days, bad days and really bad days. I do not think that makes me any less worthy to be on this thread. Depression is depression in every shape and form. In fact when my mum suffered she would have incredibly good days when she was manic.

Nonnie, number 3 is interesting. I have had to bail out of a holiday because I felt absolutely desperate.

dragon, of course you can be here???

Oh dear , sorry Nonnie

A bad day is a bad day , to say so is stating a fact.

I had a really grim day Sunday .

Why not take a holiday if one thinks it will help, Sparkly finds a holiday helps her.

I think what ever suits the individual, some find a walk helps , meeting a friend for coffee, I wouldn’t know, can’t do them
- yet ?

Exactly I'm not always depressed or anxious. Yesterday I mentioned holidays and how I have become reluctant to go away. This morning I feel different I would jump on a plane and go! Who cares about possible terrorists or similar disasters! Doesn't matter that much when you are older!

Dawn22
Thank you so very much for your honesty about yourself and 'family triggers' as well and it really does help enormously that I'm not alone in this and yes, mornings very rough. But lately this cloud of blackness has been going on throughout the day and you're right that the anxiety makes everything feel a million times worse. But I'm incredibly grateful for this thread being available and for the fact that you all understand exactly what depression means ... I do so want also to be a 'supportive member'

Bless you Annie I award you a big one.. for being there for us all for your kind wise words, you always seem to know what to say, have the right words. I for one thank you xx ?⭐️

Anniebach Thank you ...

... and again to Dragonfly and Joce345 and I just wanted to say that I did cope this morning and thought about the encouragement I'd received from you that helped me (thank you too eilyann) I have little energy now but I know this is the shape of our illness when it takes proper hold so I'm trying to forgive myself for this, it's the constant feeling of despair I find the most difficult thing to deal with,I expect you are all only too aware of this though so please excuse me for rambling on xxx

How’s this for a panic ? Sunday morning my neck seized up, how could I get out of bed ?

Answer - I have my emergency pendant .

Gulp - if I pressed they would alert my key holder to come to check,my key holder is my son in law who isn’t .

How many here wouldn’t mind your son in law helping you out of bed when you are wearing a tee shirt and knickers ? ?

Nonnie

Good evening everyone. I've read through the thread and feel warmed by the support you all give eachother. I have severe anxiety and am now feeling increasingly depressed and hopeless. I still work and have a nice home but since my daughter went to uni I'm feeling very alone. Does anyone else live alone? My dog is a source of great comfort and I have a couple of good friends but my anxiety can make it hard to socialise. I've tried all sorts of medication but nothing seems to work anymore. Some days I just wish I wasn't here but love for my daughter prevents me from doing anything. I'm 61 and feel my life is over and that I've failed at everything. Sorry to be so self-indulgent when I can see how hard it is for others.

Maggie, thats rotten. Perhaps a sense of loss combined with the low mood.
Small steps.

Hello Maggie and welcome from all

You are not self indulgent, you are the same as all here,

Sorry you are struggling, are you having medical support?

I live alone, have done for years ,my husband died young, our little girls grew up and married . Lived alone since but always had dogs.

Please don’t think you are a failure, you have brought up your daughter, she has confidence and is starting a new stage in her education. You have a job, you have good friends , failure ? No way.

On a personal note, don’t wish you were not here, my darling elder daughter took her life 15 months ago, my two granddaughters were at university, the younger one in her first year , she had to start her first year again when she should have been in her second year.

An ‘empty nest’ causes distress for so many mothers but we adjust and you will.

Do stay here , you will have support and understanding x

Thank you for the sunflower Anniebach..

Don’t forget the young sunflower always faces the sun and when in full bloom faces East , and where does the sun rise ? ?

Thank you for making me so welcome. Annie I'm so sorry for your losses. I've been on and off medication for years but can't find anything that works for me now. I hope you all have a peaceful evening.

Annie A REAL GOLD medal for you! You kept me going when I thought I couldn't. And you sound so positive - even when going through the worst of times.
canonly You wouldnt 'apologise' for yourself or' forgive' yourself if you broke your hip or had shingles would you? We are all the same on here and we understand the need for someone to understand so come on and talk anytime.
maggie Welcome. How's the Mill? for all

Can only try
It is not a question of battling on alone anymore, you can get support and empathy and crucially understanding here. We all have things rattling around in our minds and anxiety only fuels that. Crucially (seems like my favourite word) thoughts are only thoughts and cannot actually harm us. (That is my mantra anyway)

Maggie you will get help and support here.

Annie thank you for my medal.(badge of honour that we got over another day).
Take care and talk soon. Dawn

Eilyann well spotted! My thoughts are my worst enemy Dawn and reminding myself that they can't harm me lessens the hold they have over me.

Me and my DH have just been out for a meal for our anniversary, wow can’t belive how chilled have have been.. I am pleased to be back home, but should I say I have enjoyed it the meal was very nice, I normally struggle to eat but I didn’t do so bad. That’s a first in a long time.

Msggie I tell myself ‘been here before and it passed *

Joce happy Anniversary x and you ate , no matter if you didn’t clear your plate, you went out for a meal, you were chilled , you ate without too much trouble. Please put a big tick or star on your calendar or in your diary . Well deserved , we must learn to be proud of ourselves when we do something positive , yes?

Thank you Annie, yes I do feel good for it hope it lasts, but for now I am pleased and very full haha. my husband looked happy and that warmed my heart ..good night all sleep well . ?

Good morning all. I am working through my usual morning anxiety (seems to be at its worst then) and making myself face the day. I have a hairdresser's appointment, then Sainsbury's and a long dog walk.

How is everyone feeling and what are your plans for this cold wet Saturday?

Morning all. Maggie I'm the opposite, anxious and depressed during the night, if I've made any plans I want to scrap them all, then when I get up in the morning I want to do things, positive and full of energy! Hope all will have a good day.