Farting old men

Bradfordlass, good advice.
However you can take a horse to water, but you cannot make it drink and my horse (DH) is reluctant to "drink".
I guess we will just have to suffer it, but certainly not in silence. My wee granddaughter complains the loudest, she has no filters!

As I was writing this Marydoll I was thinking about old dogs being too lazy or reluctant to try new tricks.

But we women are a little more sneaky inventive, so adding, reducing or substituting foods, or even threatening to do a Lysistrata if they don't take their 'vitamins' is within our capabilities. Hope so anyway.

Who does the cooking? A lot depends on what you eat. It's up to the cook to keep gas-producing foods to a minimum.

I don't eat meat but eat a lot of mushrooms, which have the same effect as beans. However, I live alone so I can fart away to my hearts content without worrying about offending anyone.

I try to be ladylike about this bodily function but have noticed in the last few months that if I cough a loud one escapes at the same time. Very embarrassing, I am turning into one of those old ladies we used to laugh at when I was younger.

Framilode, I think muscle tone has something to do with it. I find I can't hold them in like I used to, and try to organise my life so that it is unlikely to happen in public.

Apparently charcoal tablets help with this problem!!! lol

I can take this to another level, my stoma can sing, whistle and can be quite tuneful. At present he yes it is a he is working on his rendition of the 1812 overture.
DH does the cooking and his use of onions is legendary. He tells me he chops them fine so it won't be a problem

It's good to be able to talk about it. It's something we all do but like to pretend we don't.

It's embarrassing, having a high fibre diet does not help either.

Daisymae -

Beans, beans,
Good for your heart.
The more you eat,
The ... longer you live!

True. Legumes have been found to be "the most important predictor of survival in older people" around the globe. Researchers found an 8% reduction in risk of premature death for every 20 gram increase in daily legume intake - barely two tablespoons' worth.

I've had two husbands and I've never heard either of them pass wind. Just lucky I guess ! My DH always drinks a little bottle of probiotic every day, which I think is a help.

We both have that problem. Husband is quite bold about it, I'm more sneaky.
But he was quite offended once when we had the grandchildren to stay and DGD said "Grandpa farted" and burst out in giggles.
We had to persuade her to apologise.

I have found I just can’t control the wind! My daughter is of no help crying with laughter as I walk around blowing off.

My elderly father sometimes farts as he walks. He’s a bit deaf and I think because he can’t hear it he thinks nobody else can!

Urmstongran That's my next worry. I wonder if the Queen has these problems.

Urmanstangran - perhaps he knows, feels embarrassed and doesn't know what to say.

I think, with elderly people, the muscles near the anal sphincter weaken. This has happened to a relative of mine.

He never says anything. I just pretend I haven't heard. It must be embarrassing.

Of course she does. Underneath her crown she is just an elderly lady like the rest of us.

Good advice! I'd be cautious of the FODMAP diet without support from a professional though. DD is on it for severe IBS and it's very restrictive. Reintroducing foods can take a while and should be done in a controlled way.

Stella, they very often save it until they are in bed. Perhaps he has control over it and waits until you're asleep before letting rip!

Farting, then laughing teenagers is the pits!

I am OK till I cough.........!

Uncontrollable if you sneeze ! You're in a worse mess if you wet yourself as well.

Ah yes! - the wee!

It's all such a joy.

Your message made me smile, and I think that is what you should do.
Irrespective what anyone says, we all do it, even those “poo-pooing” such an idea, hope that made you smile.