...and ladies who delicately break wind.
I’ve read many comments from suffering spouses, so here’s some help a little more constructive than ‘bung a cork in it’.
Nothing will stop farting completely and that’s good; the body has a safety valve, in this case, the fundament. Without it there would be pain.
Rumours of gaseous old men exploding are unproven.
As we get older, our guts need a little help, so the first line of defence is to try a course of digestive enzymes and/or probiotics capsules, such as acidophilus bifidus.
These alone may reduce the incidence of Cyclone Freta.
A healthy digestive system will produce less hydrogen and carbon dioxide gas, which cause farting.
An unhealthy system can lead to bloating, headaches, nausea, fatigue, bad breath, abdominal pain, runny nose, reflux and constipation.
Good bacteria help break down food efficiently but unfortunately stress, smoking, excess alcohol, some food additives and anti-biotics can kill good bacteria, which is why they need replacing regularly.
BTW, there is rarely enough acidophilus, even in good quality yoghurt to have significant effect on the uber-farter.
If you think you or Mr Stinky may have any sort of fart-producing food intolerance (different from allergies) try an elimination diet. Just one item at a time.
Wheat and dairy products are the main culprits.
Try substituting gluten-free bread for 10 days. This and regular acidophilus bifidus should make a big difference to the explosive nature of your relationship.
If that doesn’t change anything, try eliminating or reducing dairy products.
A2 milk is apparently easier on the digestion.
FODMAPs are a group of fermentable carbs that aggravate gut symptoms in sensitive people.
Read about them here:
www.healthline.com/nutrition/fodmaps-101
The wayward wind is a restless wind
A restless wind that yearns to wander
And he was born the next of kin
The next of kin to the wayward wind