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Black Dog Gang 4

(596 Posts)
Anniebach Mon 19-Aug-19 21:46:12

Hi, new thread x

Anniebach Sat 21-Sep-19 21:13:16

Hi all x

Those awful first thoughts on waking, I experience them too.
I have to wait an hour before getting up , a lot of thoughts in
an hour .

Have stopped using the splints, the metal strip was digging into my hands. Hope I can have something to support my
wrists, the physiotherapist is calling Tuesday.

Dawn22 Sat 21-Sep-19 22:14:15

To Doodle and Annie both in particular l too have early morning waking and l start to worry and l don't feel great. You mentioned prayer Doodle and l must try that more and also to pray for others. Anything that will help. Eight years ago l was managing much better but life can just turn difficult. They say to try and turn everything into Gratitude but not always easy. At least we know we are not on our own going through this.

I do the Games early in the morning as l find distraction is the best and possibly the only cure.

Annie l really hope the physio appointment helps you out next week. You deserve that without a doubt.

Goodnight everyone and l wish you healing rest and sleep.
Dawn xx

Joce345 Sat 21-Sep-19 23:16:06

Aww I know that morning feeling all too well wake at 4 mind goes mad, I just lay there till 9 o’clock don’t know why but can’t get up before that.. I have had more good day the last weeks I honestly think it is down to the CBD oil.. just hope I can stay this way.. I really must go and see the GP and tell her..
Annie hopefully they can sort you something out with the splints you can’t use them if they hurt you..
Dawn I listen to my book never get no further than chapters 8 but will keep on trying if needs be...
I really feel for all that suffer in the morning, we do really need to get up and get on easier said than do.. never stop trying.. night all sleep well God bless all

Anniebach Sun 22-Sep-19 20:01:42

Hi all x

Dawn I don’t think it possible to turn everything into gratitude so don’t test yourself too much and yes no one here is on their own x

Joce I too stay in bed until a set time, 9,15. Not great if I wake early x hope you can continue with the book if it helps x

Doodle Sun 22-Sep-19 20:08:48

I seem to be mellow between 6pm and going to bed then whenever I wake up after that the drop in mood kicks in. It’s not nice is it.
annie I realise your hands are far worse than mine but I bought some wrist fingerless support gloves from Boots. Elasticated ones. I find they give good support and a bit of relief . However you may need something more supportive.

Anniebach Sun 22-Sep-19 20:58:28

Doodle my fingers are too twisted couldn’t put fingerless gloves on. I hope for wrist supports, because I can do little with my hands my wrists take the strain.

How are you my love ?

Doodle Sun 22-Sep-19 21:52:22

Sorry annie I didn’t realise.
Still worrying. Still praying and mini panic attacks if I let my thoughts get too bad. Just want DGS to have friends and some companionship to lift his spirits. Just keep praying for that over and over really.
Hope you sleep well x

Dawn22 Sun 22-Sep-19 22:02:41

Doodle
Everyone should have a Grand mother similar to you. Loving, concerned and thinking of their needs same as Annie. Well done.
Sleep well. Everyone. Dawn xx

Joce345 Sun 22-Sep-19 22:33:16

Aww Annie I do feel for you, our hands are so important.. my husband had a bad accident some years since, he was a fantastic drummer, he could played any instrument. Completely crushed his hand he has never played since. Music was his love.. so I do understand how important your hands are..

Had a good day, had my lovely grandkids for dinner really enjoyed there company they always make me smile

Hope every one has a good night sleep well..

eilyann Mon 23-Sep-19 11:48:20

Doodle In our area (Stockport) there is a support group called Autisk for children with various problems. Is there anything like this in your area? It's a social fun group and it might help him with friendships.

Doodle Mon 23-Sep-19 12:50:27

Thanks eilyann I think there is and he did used to go to it but now he’s older he doesn’t want to go anymore. He really needs friends without issues of their own. School has always been an difficult place for him not sure what will happen going forward. Thank you for your kindness.

Rowantree Mon 23-Sep-19 13:58:53

Hi guys, please delete if this isn't relevant or appropriate. Also I apologise for not having yet read other posts on this thread - I will do when I'm up to it and I'm aware that it's selfish of me to post about myself.

For no reason i can work out I am feeling so low today and tearful and can't be motivated to do anything. We're babysitting later this afternoon and evening for my daughter and partner and that's fine, but I just feel really crap. It's a fast day as in 5/2 - just had a small breakfast this morning of rye flakes, seeds and oat milk - but I don't even feel like eating anyway. I can't work out why i feel so awful. Last week i went out for a posh meal with my brothers and dad (partly to celebrate my brother's imminent marriage) and drank more than I meant to do and the following 24+ hours were hell moodwise. Since then I had some wine two days ago and some with Sunday lunch - could that be it? I know alcohol can affect mood but why so dramatically? I am anxious that the depression and anxiety which used to dog me for years will take hold again. I know I'm probably panicking but...how would you deal with this? I feel incredibly low and weepy.

Gonegirl Mon 23-Sep-19 15:37:04

I can't motivate myself to do anything today either Rowantree. Mind you, the things I should be doing are replacing the bedding I took off our bed this morning, with clean stuff. And washing up the lunch things. Hardly surprising really is it?

It's all so bloody boring.

Anniebach Mon 23-Sep-19 16:23:11

Hi all x

Welcome Rowantree , you are not selfish posting about your self, we all here post about ourselves, it’s sharing.

Sorry you are feeling so low and tearful. Alchol can affect mood but you say you have experienced depression and anxiety in the past .

When you had depression were you drinking to cope or not
drinking ? Depression can strike anyone at anytime, did you have support at that time ?

We will support you , listen and share, just write what ever you want to x

Anniebach Mon 23-Sep-19 18:48:38

To all x

I don’t read all the threads, am concerned for nonnie , anyone come across her recently, it’s a time of great pain for her

Doodle Mon 23-Sep-19 20:46:33

I will keep a look out annie. You have such a caring way with everyone. Always looking out for others. You are so kind annie.

Anniebach Mon 23-Sep-19 21:56:25

Thank you Doodle, how are you my love ? X

Doodle Mon 23-Sep-19 22:01:02

Much the same annie. Praying and waiting for some help. I realise that I am letting my thoughts run away with me and thinking one awful thought after another. I need to give myself a good talking to.😊

Anniebach Mon 23-Sep-19 22:10:41

I understand love, for different reasons I worried every day for 7 years about my grandchildren, now they are settled it’s
so good, the need to protect them is so strong isn’t it ?

nanny2507 Tue 24-Sep-19 06:51:58

*long one* (while i have time!)

good morning all. I hope everyone is well. I have been reading the chats and I really hope things improve for you xxxx Up early as i am obsessing about xmas decs that i cant find. A little box of ones that my children made over the years. I have said i will not put a tree up until i find them. so no tree the last xmas. We have a viewing on the bungalow tonight i really hope they like it and want to buy it. I am convinced I know who stole tank. I even went to the village hall in my dressing gown at 5am last week to take a photo of a number plate of the person as i want to hire a PI to find them. i want to confront them but obviously this could just be my mind playing tricks

One of my dogs had a lump on foot we were warned it could be cancer but luckily not but playing with the other dogs she has torn a ligament in her leg!!! so now she has to had another op. DGD is going through a biting stage and she is being quite vicious and drawing blood...only on her parents luckily (?) but my DD doesnt know who to ask for help. Stock take at work today so its a 14 hours shift. Worried I cant do it but what can i do i dont get a choice.

Anyway I REALLY hope you all have a wonderful day today and remember we are only human and lets try not to beat ourselves up too much xxxxx

Joce345 Tue 24-Sep-19 08:13:31

Morning all, Annie I too will keek a look our for Nonnie do hope all is well with her.
How are you getting on Annie hope the look after you today (physio) I’m I right they are coming to see you today..
nanny you are very hard on your self,
My daughter had a lovely cat for 2 years, she was there one day gone the next, then back again the found out she was going and keeping a lady on her own company she had another cat but really took to my daughters.
When she got them in her bungalow she put them on leads so they could not get away but she really did love the cat ...sad but maybe tank is being loved and looked after by someone else.. do wish you could get some peace form this nanny, God bless you..

petra Tue 24-Sep-19 13:06:15

One of the reasons for the bad feelings in the early morning is: Cortisol. This is a stress hormone and it's at its highest in the early morning.

Rowantree Tue 24-Sep-19 20:15:06

I'd forgotten about the cortisol petra.
I wonder why it's highest in the morning when we've (hopefully) had a night's sleep?
I'm feeling better today than yesterday, but still pretty tired and can't get going with things I need to do. I did bake my Christmas cake today though and took some clothes to a local church hall for a collection for the homeless. Also did a bit of ironing and I'm embarrassed to say I had a pedicure: a very rare thing for me and I've only done it now because of my brother's wedding party at the weekend. Girl who did it was talking to me about her baby who has health problems so it helped to focus on someone else. And yesterday we babysat for DD2 who's having couples therapy - trying not to feel anxious about it all. DGD has been having a difficult time at school too - being bullied, and also DGD was told off by the head for something which could have been dealt with better by her class teacher. DGD was devastated and sobbed all night, then refused to go into school and it took three teachers an hour to prize her from her mum. She was telling her mum that she hates herself and she's a horrible person so I do wonder what on earth the headmaster said to her....
Annie and others - many thanks for your kindness. I hope Nonnie and Doodle are feeling calmer today and Nanny2507 too.
I keep trying to hold this in my mind - the present moment is all we truly have. The past is gone, the future doesn't yet exist. It's part of a Mindfulness course I attended years ago and I do find it comforting to remind myself of things I learned there, especially when ruminating/worrying ceaselessly. If there is a Mindfulness course near you, I would recommend it; it's very grounding, and helps you live well in the present. You can get CDs of short meditations which are variations on counting the breath or body scans - both help to slow down the crazy tangle of thoughts we find so painful at times.

Doodle Tue 24-Sep-19 21:22:56

rowantree I am so sorry about your DGD. Bullying in all its forms it one of the most soul destroying things. I hope they get things sorted with the school.
Your comment about mindfulness interested me. I am dabbling with an online app called Calm. Trouble is I am so un calm that I find it difficult not to be sidetracked. Must try harder I think.
How is everyone tonight x

Joce345 Tue 24-Sep-19 22:51:36

Evening all, Annie how did you get on today with your physio hope it’s made you feel better..
Petra that’s interesting I have never heard of Cortisol I must have Tuns of it am such a mess in the early hours . But having said that ,I was like it not now the CBD oil seams to be working for me. I really hope it stay like this for me.. I have been of the antidepressants for 4 days now so fingers crossed..I really cannot remember the last time I felt this good.. I still wake early but I am not in a mess now ...
I am now thinking that the antidepressant were making me feel worse, time will tell.. good night all sleep well 🌸