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Just had bad news

(136 Posts)
Craftycat Fri 10-Jan-20 12:29:43

I know no-one can help or know what to say but I have just had a really sad phone call with DS2 & it is easier to get this down than talk to people who know us.
. His wonderful wife was diagnosed with Cervical cancer a few months ago & had all her reproductive organs removed. She recovered well but had to go back for a follow up yesterday where she was told that the type of cancer she has will spread all over her body in time. Her mother died of cancer 3 years ago.
They have 3 children in primary school & she is 41.
There is nothing anyone can say but is is just so unfair- they are such a happy couple & wonderful parents.
He is devastated & he is my youngest son. I love my DiL too- she is a wonderful caring mother.
I know life isn't fair but today I just feel everything is just hopeless.
Luckily we live only about 20 mins away so we can be there when needed easily- her father is further away as is her sister.
The children have no idea what Mummy has & we want to keep it that was as long as possible. We have no idea if she will develop other cancers soon or in years to come- the doctors cannot tell her that.
I just feel so very helpless. I know a lot of you will have been through something similar so I know I am not alone in feeling useless.
I am a strong person usually but just for today I want to let go & just weep.

Doodle Fri 10-Jan-20 12:39:22

craftycat I have no idea what to say to you. I am so very very sorry. You must be beside yourself with grief and worry.
I hope there is some treatment help that can keep her feeling well for as long as possible. The only consoling thought that I can think of is that in having 3 children they will be able to help each other in years to come and that having you and other family close by will help. You must be in total shock.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

GrandmaJan Fri 10-Jan-20 12:41:35

Craftcat I can only imagine how heartbroken you and your lovely family are. Life can be so cruel at times but remember you will remain strong especially for your son and grandchildren. They are going to need you now more than ever. Treasure the lovely times you have had and will continue to have. Think of ways you can do things together and make more memories. Sending you lots of love xx

GrannyGravy13 Fri 10-Jan-20 12:45:50

Craftycat I have no idea what to say to you, how dreadfully sad for your family flowers

pinkquartz Fri 10-Jan-20 12:50:16

I am so sorry.
We have had a similar sadness in our family when my cousins wife died leaving two young children. They had been given the all clear and then on the next check it was too late. She was only 33 it is heartbreaking.

there is nothing fair about illness at all.

I hope you and your family have some good times together while you can.
Of course you are so sad. At least you are all together and a strong and loving family.
sending you love xx

hulahoop Fri 10-Jan-20 12:50:52

What horrible news to receive craftycat obviously I can't say anything to make you feel better , I hope she is being monitored so that any problems can be sorted quickly and be well supported within the medical profession obviously family support is always there . Medicine is always moving on so fingers crossed for her and her family 💐💐

Bellasnana Fri 10-Jan-20 12:53:54

Devastating for you and your family. I’m so

lavenderzen Fri 10-Jan-20 12:56:30

I am so sorry Craftycat sending you hugs and love flowers

Urmstongran Fri 10-Jan-20 13:06:51

I’m so very sorry for you craftycat and for all your family. Devastating news to be given. Your son and daughter in law will be in bits. Not just for themselves but those poor little children. Life can be so cruel can’t it? x

Baggs Fri 10-Jan-20 13:08:18

What awful news, craftycat. Let yourself have a good long weep, or several. You will be the stronger for it. Some thing have to be cried about. This is one of them. xxx

Persistentdonor Fri 10-Jan-20 13:08:30

That is devastating. No wonder you are desolate. There are no words of consolation. flowers

Anniebach Fri 10-Jan-20 13:12:20

I am so deeply sorry, you must be in such emotional pain

I send you hugs and love x

Luckygirl Fri 10-Jan-20 13:14:28

You are entitled to weep - this is life at its cruellest - I hope that the medical team can offer her ongoing treatment to keep things stable as long as possible.

All I can off are hugs and my kindest thoughts - so very hard for all of you. flowers

Pantglas2 Fri 10-Jan-20 13:22:23

Such devastating news Craftycat - I was a child when my own mother died but was surrounded by loving grandparents which I’m sure, on reflection now, helped massively.

I know that you will be a huge comfort to your grandchildren and will do all that you can to get them through it. Don’t forget to look after yourself in all of this flowers x

Hithere Fri 10-Jan-20 13:28:59

How heartbreaking.

Maybe the hospital has a support group?

lovebeigecardigans1955 Fri 10-Jan-20 13:29:20

I'm so sorry Craftycat as it's terrible to get news like this. Go on and have a good cry, you may feel a little more able to cope with it afterwards. The doctors have said that it will spread but don't know when - it could be years from now or sooner. All you can do is continue to put one foot in front of the other and be as helpful as you can. There's nothing fair about cancer, is there? flowers

Charleygirl5 Fri 10-Jan-20 13:31:17

That is just awful Craftycat. Feel free to vent your feelings on here. The poor family but please be careful because the children will soon pick up vibes that something is wrong and maybe mummy is not very well. {flowers}

kittylester Fri 10-Jan-20 13:32:14

Nothing to add to all the above posts, craftycat but sending you love and support.

Use gn to off load if it helps.

silverlining48 Fri 10-Jan-20 13:36:05

What a terrible shock for you all, it’s heartbreaking news. It’s so hard, I send my love and positive thoughts.

Poppyred Fri 10-Jan-20 13:44:23

Very sorry Craftycat xxx

Ngaio1 Fri 10-Jan-20 13:48:06

What awful news. Your world must feel shattered. You all are in my thoughts and prayers.

anna7 Fri 10-Jan-20 13:54:29

I am so so sorry xx

V3ra Fri 10-Jan-20 14:07:15

So sorry for the news.
My son and his (now ex-)wife both had excellent support and counselling from Macmillan nurses when she had cancer which returned. I'm sure they could offer support to you and the grandchildren as well xx

Sar53 Fri 10-Jan-20 14:48:16

So very sorry to hear your news flowers xx

Hotmama Fri 10-Jan-20 14:56:49

So sorry to hear about your dear DIL and being three years in remission from cancer, I have a small insight into what you are all going through. My heart goes out to you and your family. Just keep being there and loving them all, that’s all you can do. They are making great strides in the field of cancer treatment and so many more people are living with cancer nowadays. So pleased you are near and can offer practical support as well as love. X