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Prostate cancer

(23 Posts)
Lindylou23 Fri 17-Jan-20 21:30:57

My DH has been diagnosed with prostate cancer after being in pain for 7weeks,he started hormone treatment yesterday and today he has been diagnosed with a DVT, I am finding it very hard to take in and keep my emotions in check in front of him.
Has anybody else been in a similar position? Can give me some advice .

Doodle Fri 17-Jan-20 21:56:38

Hi lindylou. That must have been a shock for you. Has your DH seen the consultant and found out what his options are? Many men have prostate cancer and there are a variety of treatments. My DH was diagnosed about 15 years ago. He was offered radiotherapy or chemotherapy or surgery. He chose the surgery option and has done well since. I know many others with the same problem so you are not alone.
I would find out all you can. Hope his treatment is effective.

tanith Fri 17-Jan-20 21:57:23

I’m so sorry Lindylou to hear your bad news, when in your position I too found it hard it’s only natural to be emotional. I would take myself off on a walk when it all got too much even just a walk round the park helped. Do you have family support?
There’s going to be lots of hospital visits and you’ll have to be strong and supportive for your DH please feel free to pm me if you want to vent or just ask a question. flowers

boheminan Fri 17-Jan-20 22:03:40

I think you will get a lot of help and support on here.

My partner was diagnosed a couple of years with prostate cancer, and also was put on hormone treatment, which two years down the line he's still on. There's so many roads to travel supporting a loved one with this cancer. He had radiotherapy for 7 weeks, and thankfully it has staved off the cancer - for a while. I personally found MacMillan nurses invaluable, also if there's a Maggies Centre near the hospital, it's a comforting environment to be in.

My advice is you need to talk, if not to each other, then reach out to friends. Oh Lindylou I feel so much for you as I've travelled the same road, and still travel it. There will be so much support from others who may be able to express themselves better than I can at the moment. Please PM me if you'd feel like to chat...

KatyK Fri 17-Jan-20 22:07:15

Sorry to hear this. My DH was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2014. They said he wasn't suitable to have his prostate removed for some reason. He was disappointed. However, he had 37 days of radiotherapy and hormone injections. He has been in remission since, although we recently thought there was a blip. Fortunately there wasn't. He is very well. The MacMillan nurses are helpful. When he was first diagnosed and worried, the nurses arranged for a man who had been through treatment to ring DH and talk him through it. It helped. I'm sorry I don't know about DVT. Sending good wishes. I know it's hard.

Auntieflo Fri 17-Jan-20 22:08:02

Lindylou, I am so sorry to hear your news, and the shock that you must have had.
My husband was diagnosed last year with prostate cancer. Just a year after I had been diagnosed with breast cancer.
His was picked up through a blood test, otherwise he would not have known. He had radiotherapy for 6 weeks, and is now on 12 weekly implant/ injections. His PSA levels have decreased dramatically, and although tired, is fine.
You will feel shell shocked, but there will be lots of support, and advice from the GN's here.
So come and let it all out.

Lindylou23 Fri 17-Jan-20 22:08:32

He has it in the bone aswell. Different treatments have been spoken about by consultant but as you know it has to follow a pattern hormone treatment first
Tanith, I do have a very lovely supportive family around, thank you for the offer of pm , I'm sure I will need you sometime.
I am trying to get all the information I can.
I cannot believe how we take every day things for granted until they are taken from us

Hetty58 Fri 17-Jan-20 22:11:12

Lindylou, you have to make an effort to look after yourself well. Then, you'll have the strength to cope and look after him. I second the walking, even a brisk walk around the hospital helps. Have regular chats with friends and family. Be as 'normal' and matter-of-fact with him as possible. Don't focus on the cancer, leave that to the doctors.

KatyK Fri 17-Jan-20 22:13:46

Yes it's a shock *Lindylou" DH was very well looked after. I'm sure your DH will be too. If it helps, DH's hormone treatment was monthly injections with no side effects in his case. No side effects either from radiotherapy.

harrigran Sat 18-Jan-20 00:09:53

DH is in his third year since diagnosis, has six monthly injections and has had seven weeks of radiotherapy, operation was never an option.
Bladder is a problem during the night and bowels can be a bit iffy, not sure if this is connected to the radiotherapy.
I know it is a shock when you get the diagnosis, DH's came just after I had finished chemo for bowel cancer.
The fact remains that a percentage of men will get prostate cancer in later life and the risk increases with age.

sharon103 Sat 18-Jan-20 00:17:33

I have no advice but sending love and flowers

kittylester Sat 18-Jan-20 07:42:39

Sending supportive thoughts, lindylou.

boheminan Sat 18-Jan-20 08:54:12

I forgot to say - Prostate Cancer UK is a very informative site run by men and will answer any questions including what can happen when the cancer has spread to the bones.

joannapiano Sat 18-Jan-20 09:37:49

My thoughts are with you, lindylou. DH was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer in November, with a PSA of 340. He has a hormone implant in his tum and started chemo this month because it has spread to two lymph nodes and a bone. We had had a difficult year supporting our 40 yr old son in law through a stem cell transplant for multiple myeloma, thankfully he is in remission.
All I can say is, that everyone we have told have been so kind and supportive, with offers of help and lifts.
Stay strong, although I know the nights are hard.

Lindylou23 Sat 18-Jan-20 10:48:46

Thank you all for very supportive messages, as it is early days there is so much to take in and seeing your loved one in pain is heartbreaking ,as you say joannapiano the nights are hard.I will get all the information I can and stay positive,hearing personal stories is very heart warming x x

POGS Sat 18-Jan-20 11:54:27

Hi Lyndylou

My hubby is in remission/cured of prostate cancer and there have been threads on this over the years. Put Prostate Cancer into ' Search' and you may get some further reassurance of how other posters have had to come to terms with the news, which is an undoubted shock.

On one of my posts I say at the end :-

" I think you can only put your faith in the hands of your partners consultant and I have to speak as we find the care from the NHS he has recieved has been examplary and I wish you and your partner well for the future."

I wish the exact same to to both you and your dear hubby. flowers

e. g

www.gransnet.com/forums/health/1245597-Anyone-have-partner-with-Prostate-cancer?pg=3

Dillyduck Sat 18-Jan-20 12:02:10

Maybe he's struggling to keep a stiff upper lip in front of you. Why not fight this disease together, have a cry, a cuddle, and then resolve to do your very best to face whatever the future holds? Talk to the Prostate Cancer charity helpline, they were very helpful when my dad was ill.

notanan2 Sat 18-Jan-20 13:23:18

Maybe he's struggling to keep a stiff upper lip in front of you. Why not fight this disease together

I think that approach can puy too much pressure on a couple to always be on the same page. When dealing with these things people arent necessarily on the same phase of thought/feeling at the same time IYKWIM

joannapiano Sat 18-Jan-20 13:31:22

I do understand that the ideal is to talk things through with your partner, cry etc.
DH is a big, tough ex-policeman, and he doesn’t do “feelings”, unfortunately, or want to talk about things. I respect this is what he wants.

KatyK Sat 18-Jan-20 13:56:03

Yes we all react differently. My DH wanted to know all the ins and outs. He researched and Googled and asked questions. A friend whose DH has it, doesn't want to talk about it at all. Both understandable.

evianers Sun 19-Jan-20 16:02:34

Feel for you too. My DH had prostate cancer whilst we still lived in France. Coping with the shock, and then with everything in French, called upon resources we did not even know we had.
But inevitably one does cope {no choice really}. We opted for radical prostatectomy and haven't looked back. Each year, the PSI is measured which is now down to 0.01%, so looking good.
If you need any help or moral support, please feel free to contact us privately - here to help as we are now in Dorset.
Stay brave!

Luckygirl Sun 19-Jan-20 16:05:08

Lindylou - I am sorry that you are both having to go through all this and send good wishes.

elfies Sun 19-Jan-20 16:18:16

Hi lindylou23 ,My other half was diagnosed with PC in August which has travelled to his bones too .
No operation offered , and Chemo is a no no as he reacted in minutes , Hormone injections since September and so far though he is very tired , things aren't too bad. The McMillan nurses are dedicated and absolutely brilliant .
Not sure where you're based ,but our local hospitals (north east) have been wonderful with all the tests and advice ,and the chemo staff (though now not an option ) were superb .
Talk to your hubs , the doctors , consultants and nurses , and find out all you can .
Feel free to PM me too , hugs and best wishes .