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OH now on end-of-life care.

(520 Posts)
Luckygirl Fri 24-Jan-20 17:10:07

OH in nursing hone with end-stage PD, and he has been in terrible mental stress with paranoia on top of his total physical helplessness. He shot a temperature yesterday and clearly has some sort of infection - probably chest. I opted for him not to go to hospital, as I know this is what he wants. They are trying (and failing) to get oral antibiotics down, and have scratched all meds non-essential for his comfort . We just want him to go in peace now. But he is intermittently awake and in distress that he cannot articulate. They have all the necessary drugs for palliative care.

I am torn between wanting to keep him and wanting him to just go now so his distress is over. It is a torment

Fennel Sun 02-Feb-20 12:08:48

Very sad news, Luckygirl, but as you say he's now at peace.
Condolences to you and the family x.

Alishka Sun 02-Feb-20 12:10:02

flowers for you all.Sincere condolences.

MawB Sun 02-Feb-20 12:11:30

flowers flowers to you all, Luckygirl
There are broad shoulders here for you whenever you feel you need one xxx

hazel93 Sun 02-Feb-20 12:11:37

There are no words , simply my condolences.
Stay strong. x

Marydoll Sun 02-Feb-20 12:13:32

We all share your sadness, Lucky, he is at peace now.
You also need to find peace, after a long and sad journey.
My condolences. ?

Marydoll Sun 02-Feb-20 12:16:51

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Marydoll Sun 02-Feb-20 12:17:25

Oh so sorry, wrong thread. So inappropriate.

starshine Sun 02-Feb-20 12:21:07

Thinking of you and your family Luckygirl.

GrannySomerset Sun 02-Feb-20 12:22:17

You have been in my thoughts for days and I am relieved that this part of your DH’s life is over. Given the level of strain you have been suffering for so long, it will take a long while to gain a proper perspective, but a long marriage to such a splendid man will stay with you and your daughters too will remember their father as a whole person and not as the invalid he became.

With a probably similar path before me I have learned a lot from you, Luckygirl, and thank you for sharing it with us.

paddyanne Sun 02-Feb-20 12:26:35

A peaceful end was what you wanted for him,I'm glad that happened and that he slipped away without pain .Memories will come when its their time and usually when you least expect them and bring smiles and tears with them.Time now to be thankful his long hard journey has ended.I hope you have people surrounding you in these days and weeks to come and that you can share your love for him together .Candle still burning here and I'll leave it burning for you until it comes to its end .

BBbevan Sun 02-Feb-20 12:33:06

Really sad to read your newsLucky but your DDH is in a better place now. Thinking of you and all your family. God Bless

mumofmadboys Sun 02-Feb-20 12:34:49

You were there for him to the end. Well done. You must rest now and catch up on your sleep. After a jumble of memories you will eventually recall happier times.
RIP Mr Lucky.

Charleygirl5 Sun 02-Feb-20 12:39:08

So sorry to hear the news Lucky. He is now at peace.

BlueSapphire Sun 02-Feb-20 12:41:04

So sorry to read your news, Luckygirl. My sincere condolences to you and your family. He is now at rest.

Doodle Sun 02-Feb-20 12:50:23

So sorry luckygirl. He is at peace at last. Sincere condolences to you and your family flowers

janeainsworth Sun 02-Feb-20 12:57:38

My condolences Luckygirl.
You have borne the sadness of your OH’s suffering for so long. I hope the happy memories will come back to sustain you.

Nico97 Sun 02-Feb-20 12:57:59

Sincerest condolences Luckygirl to you and your family. At peace flowers

grannyqueenie Sun 02-Feb-20 13:01:19

Luckygirl thinking of at this time of so many mixed emotions. You loved him well in life, cared for him well in sickness now he he’s at peace it’s time to allow yourself mourn him well too. x

dogsmother Sun 02-Feb-20 13:02:22

? cyber hugs.

Auntieflo Sun 02-Feb-20 13:06:50

Oh Lucky, so sorry for you and the girls, but he will be peaceful now.
You fought so long and so hard for him and his care.
Love and hugs to you, and take care of yourself.
flowers

midgey Sun 02-Feb-20 13:07:06

Peace at last for your DH, may you get some comfort that he is out of pain at last. flowers

Scribbles Sun 02-Feb-20 13:14:42

Luckygirl, I can only send you love. I'm sitting here crying for you, for me, for our husbands and for all who have lost the one they love most.
Be glad he slipped quietly away. All we can do for them is to be there at the end and hope they know how much we love them.
I wish you peace and comfort.

Beechnut Sun 02-Feb-20 13:17:10

Sending my condolences to you Lucky and your family ?

crazyH Sun 02-Feb-20 13:17:28

Luckygirl and all in similar situations flowers

MawB Sun 02-Feb-20 13:24:29

Scribbles flowers to you too - life can be bloody hard can’t it.
??