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What if...?

(59 Posts)
BlueSky Fri 31-Jan-20 10:19:22

I suffer from 'What ifs' and this is my latest. What if DH and I were in an accident together who would inform our children and how would they find them as they live abroad? We have no other close relatives nearby. As you can see my mind can be quite lively especially in the early hours ...confused

Sparklefizz Fri 31-Jan-20 10:21:36

I live alone and have thought ahead. I always carry ID, phone numbers of next of kin (son and daughter) and a card saying I have a pet at home that needs feeding and looking after.

Hetty58 Fri 31-Jan-20 10:25:20

BlueSky, worry not, assuming there were a bit of you left, DNA and dental records would be used to identify you!

Ellianne Fri 31-Jan-20 10:30:10

Assuming your mobile phone were retrieved from an accident they would look at ICE.

Gymstagran Fri 31-Jan-20 10:36:33

Living alone my what if is how long would it be before someone found me if I died at home

Chestnut Fri 31-Jan-20 10:39:29

I agree with Sparklefizz, a little forward planning will ease your mind. Without getting emotional, think in a practical way about carrying helpful information with you, and also about your wills and other instructions regarding your property, bank accounts etc. which you keep somewhere at home. Include a list of everyone who needs to be notified of your passing, computer passwords and memberships etc. Organise these important papers so they are all together and let your children know where they are.

Jaycee5 Fri 31-Jan-20 10:42:50

As BlueSky has said, keep that information on you and if you drive, I would put a copy in the car.
Gymstagran I'm going to be found by a bailiff when a bill goes unpaid too long (although as I mostly pay by DD that might be quite a while) or when the neighbours complain about the smell, unless I collapse in the street and die in hospital. It doesn't bother me. It's just the way it is. I am happy living on my own and that is just a consequence.
My neighbour did send her grandson to my door to check I was ok when they hadn't seen me for a while. I had flu and it had been a couple of months.

Hetty58 Fri 31-Jan-20 10:49:34

In our last house, we had to have new floorboards fitted. My husband was only too aware of the likely cause of a huge brown stain near the fireplace!

cornergran Fri 31-Jan-20 11:22:37

If you're mobile phone supports it put your family numbers in the ICE facility. Its accessible from a locked screen so no passwords needed. Otherwise its a good idea for us all to have contact details of next of kin in the car. Two neighbours also have the our family contact details. Our family have a list of useful information (amount numbers, passwords, which solicitor has the Wills) emailed to them in a secure form, its updated a couple of times a year. I look at it all as insurance, if its there I won't need it.

Chestnut Fri 31-Jan-20 11:27:24

Google search 'home alarm for elderly' and you'll find various systems for sending an alarm if you fall or become ill. This is ideal for those living on their own, because even if you are contacted daily by relatives that could be too late.

BlueSky Fri 31-Jan-20 11:51:53

Great points to think about! I will put the ICE info on my mobile as I didn't realise it could be seen on a locked screen in an emergency. But then what if my phone gets smashed? Seriously thanks a few good points to put into practice, hopefully it won't be needed as we'll probably depart separately! smile

tanith Fri 31-Jan-20 12:02:42

I didn’t know that cornergran even though I’ve had ICE in my phone for a good while.

Pittcity Fri 31-Jan-20 14:40:26

On an Android phone you go to Contacts and find your profile... there should be an option to add emergency contacts, medical details and other notes. All these are accessible by pressing Emergency Call on the PIN screen.
I also have an app from our local Air Ambulance that can pinpoint your location or What 3 Words is good if you need to give your location and you don't know where you are.

kittylester Fri 31-Jan-20 14:49:16

This might be useful.

Newquay Fri 31-Jan-20 14:49:52

There’s a Buddi “watch” which you can wear-waterproof too. If you fall it will alert their centre or whoever you’ve nominated. I’ll invest in one before long.
I have ICE on mob and always keep mob on my person (inside bra if, annoyingly, no pocket-M&S please take note!).
We have a file in our writing desk with Wills and paperwork in including notes of accounts etc. and a list I found (on t’internet, where else?) headed “things you need to do after a death” so it has all our necessary details.
We bank with Nationwide and think they have a service to guide you through things after a death.
Sadly, it will happen one day. . .

crazyH Fri 31-Jan-20 14:59:04

My worry is - if I die in my sleep, who will know? My neighbour's will just presume I am having a lie-in. If my family ring and get no answer, they will just presume that I have gone out, because I do go out most days. It will be at least a week before I am missed 😫

Gymstagran Fri 31-Jan-20 15:06:19

Jaycee5 I like your post. It made me giggle

Chestnut Fri 31-Jan-20 15:54:26

crazyH anyone who lives alone and dies in their sleep will just have a good lie-in before they are found. I can't see any other solution. 🛌 At least you will have a comfortable place to lie which is better than the floor. Have an alarm system then you may have a chance of contacting someone.

TwiceAsNice Fri 31-Jan-20 17:30:35

I live alone but in the next street to my daughters. DD2 contacts me every day. If she got no answer she would be straight round. By the way what is ICE please I have never heard of it.

kittylester Fri 31-Jan-20 17:36:54

We have an informal neighbourhood watch among 4 neighbours. We just keep an eye on curtains and car movements. We know who has the key for which house (we dont all have all of them) and we have contact numbers for relatives.

This worked well when a neighbour dudnt open her curtains and didnt answer the phone. The relevant person rang her daughter to be told that she had book a last minute deal and was in Turkey!! And, in her excitement to go away, forgot to tell us.

BlueSky Fri 31-Jan-20 18:17:13

TwiceAsNice ICE means 'in case of emergency ' and you can enter details of your next of kin/contacts you want alerted. What I didn't know is that any first aider could access this info on your phone even if it's locked, which obviously is going to be very helpful.

M0nica Fri 31-Jan-20 20:27:08

When DH was travelling a lot and I was often home alone with 2 very small children I arranged with my parents to ring them every morning and if I didn't ring them they would ring me.

Nowadays, with mobile phones, just send a text every morning to a family member, even if all it says is 'hallo', then if it doesn't come they know to ring and check.

And get a personal alarm and wear it, so that in case of a fall or emergency, just pressing it will be enough.

Juliet27 Sat 01-Feb-20 09:47:57

Yes CrazyH that would bother me too and maybe the dog would eat me!!

Vintagegirl Sat 01-Feb-20 10:02:31

Those personal alarms e.g. worn as a bracelet or pendant are designed to be waterproof so keep on on bathroom!

Summerstorm Sat 01-Feb-20 10:05:24

ICE is a great idea I used something similar when I was childminding or picking up grandchildren from school/ nursery etc with phone numbers of said school/nursery and parents