Gransnet forums


Down, down, Down......

(32 Posts)
SallyB392 Tue 07-Apr-20 08:31:39

I'm very low, really low, and wish my world would quietly come to an end. Then I feel so so guilty for feeling that way.

I know that I should contact my CPN, but i can't face that, I should tell my husband, but don't want to worry him. I won't actively 'do' anything, but, and I'm ashamed to admit this, I wish I could become infected by coronavirus, and be one of those that doesn't make it.

Elegran Tue 07-Apr-20 08:59:34

Tell your husband, '*Sally*. Talking about it means you are not hugging it to yourself in solitude. He is your best comfort and support - and who knows, he may feel the same but not want to worry you . Instead of being alone the pair of you could support each other and together find ways of making this time bearable.

And your CPN is there for just this situation - they have so much experience of others in the same boat. Get support!

avitorl Tue 07-Apr-20 09:02:32

Please talk to your husband. I have no words of wisdom but couldn't read and ignore your post.

Luckygirl Tue 07-Apr-20 09:05:28

116123 - Samaritans' number. They are happy to talk - anytime. Please give them a ring - that is what they are there for.

Curlywhirly Tue 07-Apr-20 09:07:16

SallyB392 you really do need to share your feelings with someone; I can understand you not wanting to worry your husband, can you not confide in a close and sympathetic friend? Just sharing it with someone should give you some relief. If you feel so low, and it's not surprising in these awful times, you really should consider contacting your CPN; they are professionals and best placed for you to get some help. You should contact them today, nip it in the bud, before it gets any worse. Take care thanks

cornergran Tue 07-Apr-20 09:08:13

No thoughts from me other than that given above. Please speak to someone, sally, it will help. You’re important, please seek help.

dragonfly46 Tue 07-Apr-20 09:10:28

Yes please speak to someone Sally and we are all here for you!

May7 Tue 07-Apr-20 09:20:27

Sally you are sharing it really arent you ? you're sharing it with us and we will be listening.
Sometimes just writing it down relieves the pressure. You may feel guilty as you say but that's just the depression talking in your head. You really should contact your CPN they are trained to help sunshine

Granny23 Tue 07-Apr-20 09:23:50

Well you have told us and that's a start. I have suffered from depression off and on all my life. I am finding that my learned coping strategies are standing me in good stead during this dreadful time. Working in the garden until I am exhausted, having a book that I must finish, ditto a piece of knitting. If thoughts of a quick end as a way out of misery impinge I tell myself that that would be incredibly selfish, especially at this time, when family, friends and carers already have enough to cope with.

You have a valuable part to play during this crisis - looking after your DH and any other family and ensuring that you do not put any extra strain on medical services, undertakers, etc. I have seen the aftermath of suicide via my work too often, to inflict that on any of my friends, neighbours and family.

Hold on, this too shall pass, and do phone your CPN flowers

Greymar Tue 07-Apr-20 09:25:09

Feel free to message me Sally.

Calendargirl Tue 07-Apr-20 10:04:54

I think you have also posted on another thread about losing contact with your daughter. This is obviously one of the reasons you feel as you do.

Good advice given by other posters, I do hope you get some resolution to your worries.

silverlining48 Tue 07-Apr-20 10:06:39

Sally sunshine it is there underneath the pain.

silverlining48 Tue 07-Apr-20 10:09:17

Sorry sally, that doesn’t make much sense, it was supposed to be one of those sunshine icons. Do speak to someone you trust. Wishing you peace today.

Smileless2012 Tue 07-Apr-20 10:10:32

Sallyflowersas Granny has posted "Hold on" for those that love you.

EllanVannin Tue 07-Apr-20 10:23:05

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Nonnie Tue 07-Apr-20 10:37:22

Have you looked at the Black Dog Gang thread? You will find other like yourself, it may or may not help but you are not alone.

May7 Tue 07-Apr-20 10:47:23

Sally I've noticed you started a thread yesterday about making the most of things it was quite a positive thread but only a couple of people replied
Has something upset you overnight for you to feel so low this morning?
It maybe that not many people could think of positives yesterday ?
Theres always silver linings somewhere but just now I think we have to dig deep to find them.
I implore you to Contact your CPN

SadafGransnet (GNHQ) Tue 07-Apr-20 11:12:33

Just a quick note to thank you all for your very helpful contributions flowers and also a reminder to take a look at our resources thread for access to mental health support at this very difficult time. flowers

Oopsadaisy3 Tue 07-Apr-20 11:17:09

Sally please talk to your husband , I know that i would be so upset if I thought that my OH was suffering in silence. Talking to us is a first step, if you can’t speak to him then write down all that you are feeling, but please give him the letter, don’t hide it for him to find.

Elegran Tue 07-Apr-20 11:46:34

That was a quick descent from coping fine to despair, Sally Definitely get advice.

henetha Tue 07-Apr-20 12:51:29

Oh no ~Sally. Please talk to someone. There is always light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how far away. Please get help
as soon as you can. Life is a gift, don't throw it away. You are needed, talk to your husband, please.

Greymar Tue 07-Apr-20 13:01:27

Moods can easily swing about quite rapidly.

May7 Tue 07-Apr-20 13:09:22

Greymar I agree entirely. This lady really needs to seek her professional helpers (CPN)

SallyB392 Tue 07-Apr-20 14:47:33

I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything, I have Bipolar and have been in a depressed state for a long time. I try not to burden my husband, he isn't really one of life's 'copers', if I told him how I feel he would go into panic mode, and he's already struggling with his fear of coronavirus.

I do try to remain upbeat, and will try to find positives, but today it's just not happening, not helped by my not feeling well (not coronavirus, just a long term condition that regularly hits me), I'm going to try to sleep, and maybe the suicidal ideation will have eased a bit, but thank you all, knowing that I can let it out does make it easier.

Granniesunite Tue 07-Apr-20 14:56:36

Sally speak to your CPN.As soon as you can. That will help you to ease the pain.