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Heavy handed bully of a hospital security man

(35 Posts)
merlotgran Wed 30-Dec-20 17:30:53

DH is almost at the end of a course of radiotherapy for bladder cancer. He is also registered blind (no peripheral vision) and has severe heart failure (cannot walk very far)

We've been attending outpatients/oncology for five weeks and appreciate the need for security at the main entrance due to Covid restrictions but our treatment this morning was beyond belief!

The journey to Addenbrooke's hospital takes just under an hour so by the time we got there DH was desperate for the loo. He wears a pad as a precaution. I always drop him off as close to the door as possible (the loos are just inside) then go and park the car. He doesn't need an appointment card, just a schedule which I keep in my handbag.

I don't want to go into explicit details on an open site but in short, the security man refused to let me in because, in HIS opinion, DH didn't need a carer or a wheelchair (I had to nip next door to another clinic to collect one because the ones in outpatients were chained up!) because he'd seen him walk from the car.

An argument ensued, I eventually walked in unchallenged because I waited until he bullied somebody else and his back was turned. We got to DH's appointment just in time and left the rest to an appalled radiographer who phoned security straight away.

By the time we got back to outpatients, two security men were dealing with him! I hope he's toast! One of them was kind enough to follow us out to the car and apologise.

I appreciate hospitals are under extreme pressure at the moment but employing 'bouncers' to fill the void is not a good idea. He was so horrible, one woman sat outside on a bench sobbing because, in her words, she'd been 'ejected!'

I've e-mailed my complaint to PALS. Hopefully better luck next week!

EllanVannin Wed 30-Dec-20 17:39:02

Why are people so at the end of their tethers these days ?
Half the country needs to go to anger management. It seems to be wherever you go, especially when someone isn't wearing a mask. Imagine a fight breaking out because someone doesn't have a mask on ? The news is full of violence, it's a worse disease than Covid itself.

rafichagran Wed 30-Dec-20 17:44:26

I am really appalled by this. I had a similar experience with a security officer in the 1st lockdown, I wont go into details, but I did complain, and was told it was not excusable, but he was used to dealing with drunks at night clubs, so the bouncer word is accurate.
I am sorry to hear about your husband and hope things improve for him, and he does not have to encounter the likes of this person again, on this occasion there really was no excuse.
The lady crying because of his bullying behaviour is shocking.

Grandmafrench Wed 30-Dec-20 17:46:17

Poor, poor you - both of you, Merlot. It takes a lot to struggle through with all that you have to face AND take on a little jobsworth Ass who is determined to make a very difficult situation so much worse - just because he thinks bullying the easy option. Well done for complaining and hope you felt just a bit better after doing so. My friend has often complained about the way that ancillary staff can be insufferable at Addenbroke’s. Also the scary costs for parking. Still, she’ll hopefully be away from such stuff for a while - her poor darling H died this morning.

merlotgran Wed 30-Dec-20 17:50:59

That puts my rant into perspective, Grandmafrench. So sorry to hear about your poor friend.

GrannyGravy13 Wed 30-Dec-20 17:51:45

I hope you get a quick reply and an apology Merlot

GrannyGravy13 Wed 30-Dec-20 17:52:45

GrandmaFrench flowers

Daddima Wed 30-Dec-20 18:01:08

Shocking behaviour, Merlotgran, surely these people know that having to attend hospital is stressful enough without their bullying behaviour adding to it? Incidentally, did the ‘Covid Marshals’ ever appear? Sounds like he would have been an applicant. My brother did make me laugh when he said the Marshals would be folk who were ‘ too wee for the polis, too big for the circus’. I hope your next appointments are trouble free.
Thoughts with you and your friend, Grandmafrench

Lucca Wed 30-Dec-20 18:07:30

Awful. Have an extra Merlot !

Hetty58 Wed 30-Dec-20 18:12:43

It could be that he was merely following orders to keep out as many people as possible. I'm sure that there's more to it. I'd want an explanation - in detail.

Callistemon Wed 30-Dec-20 18:15:28

What a nasty Jobsworth, merlotgran. I hope you're both ok now, it shakes you up. That is no way to treat vulnerable patients.

I hope you get a positive response.

Nortsat Wed 30-Dec-20 18:15:53

Oh that’s appalling.

As if you don’t have enough to deal with ... what a hideous bully. I hope he gets into serious trouble.
That sort of experience can be so draining to a person who is already undergoing treatment and managing a number of health issues.
I am angry on your and your DH’s behalf, Merlot.
Hopefully you can put it behind you and have a gentle, pleasant evening. 💐

Grandmafrench Wed 30-Dec-20 18:20:06

You’re all lovely. I threw in the remark about the loss of a dear friend today in no way to detract from your comments, merlot. It’s just that she has used Addenbroke’s so often for too many years. It was hardly a rant from you - any decent human would feel the same and want to avoid the treatment you received, at any cost. I feel angry just reading about it - had I been there I would be the one ejected (maybe many times!) An ugly scene would have played out and offered some entertainment, at least! As Ellan says upthread, what’s the matter with people? Too many seem to have lost all shred of sense and compassion and decency. I do hope your DH gets some benefit from his treatment.
Daddima the world needs more laughter from chaps like your brother!

merlotgran Wed 30-Dec-20 18:20:52

No he wasn't merely following orders, Hetty58. He was probably not sufficiently trained but the benefit of doubt needs to be with the patients and their carers. He was rude and displaying bullying behaviour - splaying his legs, folding his arms and blocking the doorway. I have never seen hospital security personnel behave in that way and I'm no stranger to Addenbrooke's.

I will get my explanation make no mistake and as the kind security man who offered us an apology said, 'Don't worry. It will all be on CCTV.'

Good job I didn't kick his shins then. grin

Espana Wed 30-Dec-20 18:28:58

Oh grandmafrench. So so sorry about your dear friend ‘s beloved husband. If you can keep your arms around her. The rest of us must all count our blessings.

MissAdventure Wed 30-Dec-20 18:34:05

It's particularly horrible to be treated that way when you're somewhere that's supposed to be helping you to feel better.

(I know, sadly)

I'm so glad you've written to pals. It's often the last thing you feel like doing after a long, long day.

Spangler Wed 30-Dec-20 18:34:17

merlotgran you have described the security man at our local Morrisons store so perfectly that it made me wonder if he's moonlighting at Addenbrooks Hospital.

LauraNorder Wed 30-Dec-20 18:44:23

Merlotgran, what a horrible man, hopefully your complaint will mean that nobody else suffers the same treatment.
Hope you’re feeling calmer now, you could both do without the added stress.
Sad for your friend Grandmafrench.
Thank goodness for humour Daddima, we could all do with a brother like yours at the moment.

Shandy57 Wed 30-Dec-20 18:49:44

So sorry to hear this Merlotgran, it just astounds you doesn't it. When my late husband became ill in Portugal I flew out to collect him. The security guard at the hospital, a podgy boy, took an instant dislike to me and always made me wait, even when I had my pass. At one time my husband and I were outside and he came out and started shouting at us, and dragged us back into the hospital through A&E where many people were in dire straits. I wish I could go back and kick him in the nuts.

merlotgran Wed 30-Dec-20 18:50:09

Spangler grin

The clinic next door to outpatients is for disablement services. They have state of the art wheelchairs you can borrow. One good shove and they go like the clappers with a dead man's handle for a brake!!

I don't suppose Mr Security was going to chase me down the the long corridors after I sneaked in but I wasn't taking any chances much to DH's horror amusement.

Not funny at the time but after a G&T I can be a bit more chilled about it.

Ellianne Wed 30-Dec-20 18:51:32

Glad you're a bit more relaxed now merlot. flowers

Marmight Wed 30-Dec-20 18:55:10

That is quite shocking Merlot and unforgivable. I trust by now he’s been sent packing with more than a flea in his ear! I hope you & DH are more relaxed this evening 🍷🍷

Jaxjacky Wed 30-Dec-20 19:38:46

Merlotgran very distressing and unnecessary, hopefully not to be repeated for anyone else, pleased you feel a bit better now.
Grandmafrench how very heartbreaking for your friend and sad for you,

beverly10 Wed 30-Dec-20 19:40:47

Isn't it enough that our loved ones are having to go through the trauma of ill health without the added stress of a '' bully'' full of his own importance in a unifom/ wearing a badge merely illustrating what job he has been given?
Far to many of this type around and no one should be afraid in reporting them.

TrendyNannie6 Wed 30-Dec-20 20:11:21

I have been to Addenbrookes hospital in Cambridge many many times over the last 40 odd years and this really sickens me, I’ve never heard anything like it, my heart goes out to you both, and I’m pleased it’s on cctv too, wishing you both all the very best Merlotgran, sending you both a virtual hug