DH suffering disappointed in friends

My bloke had a long standing friend who became very ill. I told him he should visit and he wouldn't. Sure enough, his friend died after being ill for a couple of years without having seen OH.

He has excused himself several times about it, but I think it was shoddy.

Oh Dilemma you aren’t asking for much are you. When we helped our parents we too had young children and worked but we did it willingly because we wanted to help them. Unlike now, we did not expect nor did they offer to help us either practically or financially.
Hope the family conference solves the issue but I too have heard the GSI...(get someone in ) suggestion. Not easy to find someone trustworthy for sometimes tiny things.
DH 75 nearly did himself an injury up a ladder yesterday trying to trim a short but overgrown hedge, which would have taken our sil no more than 20 minutes. It is a bit disappointing given all the help we have willingly given them over the years. Their reason is always too busy. GSI. We were busy too but always found the time.

Oh dear posted this in the wrong place. Can I get it deleted?

Thank you everyone I know it will sound odd, but it makes me feel better to know that my situation is not unique.

It is mainly my so called friends that have not bothered. It is not easy to have visitors at the moment, but we all have phones. I saw a so called friend in passing about two months ago and I told her a little about my DH and she just said I would have to adapt. She has not been in touch since.

My DH has not really got any close friends and one neighbour who he used to see very occasionally has not bothered. I saw his wife and she generously said she might be able to get him to visit or phone. Well if he has to be asked please don't bother.

It does seem vast numbers of people can't deal with any kind of illness and older men often don't seem to have as many friends as women anyway. I think the pandemic hasn't helped either sympathy and empathy seem to have gone out of the window. I am sorry the support wasn't there when you needed it as you say I expect they will be in touch any time soon. Wouldn't it be wonderful if you could come out with the truth, depends if they are going to stay friends.

I can't forgive my sister for not visiting our nephew. The rest of us watched him go through chemotherapy, hair loss, having a line put in his chest, weight gain and pain. I was visiting him when he died. His mum, my sister in law, had some sort of fit in the room when he died. She died suddenly herself a few years later. My sister didn't want to 'be upset'. It makes me

Hello FindingNemo15 no your expectations are not to high, you are going through a difficult time so forget about the people who are not there for you and concentrate on those who are. Your lives have been turned upside down and you are experiencing great changes. The difference is their lives remain the same and they can't understand that you can no longer do the things you did in the past but have to concentrate all your energy on your Husband and yourself. Mr J has been ill for a number of years and I can totally relate to what you are saying. Many so called friends have drifted out of our lives but those that remain are the ones who are important. If they phone keep it short and sweet, thank them for their concern and move on. Wishing you and your Husband well