Black Dog 12

Anniebach you must have needed that nap. I also get that anxious feeling when I wake up. Not nice.
ScaredyCatand all on BD, hope you've all had a decent day.

I took my sister in law out for lunch (she eats very little so most food gets left) then to a garden centre (she doesn't walk very well at all, nowhere near as good as me) for cake and 3 cups of tea. It absolutely poured with rain, with thunder and lightning. My brother is behaving lijr an invalid, so I've done shopping, made drinks and snacks. I can hardly wait to go home (likely to be tomorrow teatime and I'm wondering what to do with SIL during the day) x

Hello all.
HVDY so pleased your brother is at home again after his op.
Must have been a relief for him and your SIL that you were there. You will be tired by the time you get home. You have certainly taken good care of them both. Hope you get some sleep tonight.
Sweetpeasue I am used to my worries it’s just sometimes worse than others. Went to church this morning so lots of prayers for everyone on BD and my family. Lovely church such a nice bunch of people. Thank you for your prayers.
You’re not the only one who can’t feel God’s presence at times of great need. The good thing is that He’s there whether we feel it or not. Never give up hope. In many ways it’s all we have.
You feel as you do because you are in pain, frightened and worried. Any one of us would feel the same.
What day is your op. We will all be here for you. I have spent many hours on my own when my DH has had ops. Hope your DH will be ok. He will be worried and anxious but I’m sure he will cope as this op is necessary. I hope it provides some answers.
Dear Joce I’m sorry you are having a lot of anxiety at the moment. Once it’s there then it’s hard not to be anxious. I often find that my mind has to process things round and round again until something happens that lightens things a bit. I hope you get that relief soon. So glad you have Coco.
Annie I think I’m a born worrier. As a child I was scared of everything (loving and caring parents and family so not because of problems at home). Very nervous and shy. Hate to be thought badly of. In many ways I’ve got better as I got older although I still worry a lot.
I hope your new lamp helps. I have coloured lights around the house I put on in the evenings. A bit like Christmas lights.
Scaredycat yes I wake up at night and the worry steps in but I try to force myself not to think and to go back to sleep. I often have unpleasant dreams that upset me too. Find those hard to shake off. Yes I have an awful lot to be thankful for too. I just find the sadness hard to shake off sometimes.
Sleep well dear friends

Hi all x

Doodle I didn’t mean a child who was sensitive , prone to
anxiety etc was from insecure families, no different to me
being the only left hander of 20 cousins , children are born
sensitive, timid, or the opposite, one thing is sure, you are so
very caring x

Off topic friends, anyone has BritBox? The sound is very poor
on my tv.

How is everyone ?

What sad news . It feels like the country has lost its Mother.

It is sad indeed Scaredycat.

Such sad news about the Queen. What a wonderful monarch she has been. I feel quite shocked.
Annie thank you. No I don’t know anything about BritBox. Could it be your TV maybe or is sound good on other channels. Sometimes the bad weather like heavy rain interferes with the signals.

Anniebach Would the sound be to do with the weather? (Sorry, I'm not sure). Have you got sorted out with a new weekend carer yet?
Doodle Like Anniebach, you come across as being a lovely, kind person, always giving caring thoughts to us all.
SweetPeaSue When are you having an operation?
ScaredyCat and others on BD - hope you've had a good a day as possible. Sad news about the Queen.

I am now, just had an Indian takeaway, and a cuddle with my old boy (and Mr Cooper haha). I've got the washer on and am going to faff about at home tomorrow. My brother asked me to stay tonight, but I really am glad to be home. Individually, he and his wife are both hard work in different ways. His operation scar is about 4 inches. The surgeon said it was a really bad hernia. SIL is going to spend Saturday/Sunday with her son and his family. Hope everyone has a restful night x

HVDYSo glad you're home. Your brother ans SIL are lucky to have you. Op next Tuesday.
Anniebach Hope u get your TV sound sorted Annie.Wonder if your carer has any ideas about what to do.
Scaredycat Hope you're OK today. Thank you for your caring words. You always seem to understand everyone.
Doodle I hope your worries are a little easier today. My mum said when I was small if anyone went to talk to me I'd hide behind her or just cry. I was very shy also. Thank you for your kindness. I don't know what to say but everyone has been lovely.
*Ellie Anne and Joyce, Nanny, Violetsky, hope youve all had a decent day.

Sorry I can't post more tonight, I'm not too good. Poor nation in mourning for our long lived and dutiful Queen. So sad.
Hope everyone has peaceful night. X



Elli

Morning, all. It's a grey morning here. I'm doing the usual tedious chores and then I'll o to aqua aerobics this afternoon. How is everyone?

SweetPeaSue We'll all be thinking of you next Tuesday. Hope the next few days before then are alright.

Hi all x

Not the weather affecting my tv, sound very poor on the apps.

How is everyone ?

I’m still feeling odd today. Surprised at how much the Queen’s death has affected me. Such a wonderful person. Went to lunch with friends and we raised a glass to her and remembered her little piece with Paddington Bear at the Jubilee.
HVDY thank you for your kind thoughts. I do care but not sure I do so more than any of the lovely people on this thread. We all care for each other.
Glad your brother is back home ok. Hope things settle down for them, You've been such a help I should think you need a rest now and a big cuddle with both your Misters. ?
Sweetpeasue I had a chat with my son yesterday and do feel a little better. Life isn’t easy for them but he’s very calm, just hoping things settle down a bit.
When I was a child, I used to hide under the dining room table if anyone came. Never wanted to go to a party or be anywhere far from my mum. But like all children I grew up eventually.
Thinking of you and hoping you are feeling better today.
Annie that’s a real pain about your Tv you rely on it so much. I wonder what it can be. Is the sound on your TV poor on everything or just some channels? Is there something blocking the speaker? Wish we could help.
Joce how have you been today? Violetsky how are you too?
Scaredycat we went out this afternoon and got caught up chatting to someone so we’re late getting to the pharmacy to pick up DHs script which he needed. In the end we were both rushing. He was so exhausted he was coughing a lot. We must try and see a GP next week and see if she can help.
Hoe have you been?

Hi all x

Slept for over 3 hours this afternoon,had miserable night.
tv viewing very limited because of problems with apps, but
son in law just called and I haven’t a problem with apps, seems
i need a hearing test !
Have found the tv coverage following the death of the Queen
upsetting, reliving my own life. They showed the digging for
bodies in Aberfan school.

Doodle and Sweetpeasue both shy children, someone please say they were not a shy child, i think being part of a very
large Welsh family was to blame for my lack of shyness , I do
remember my mother not being pleased with me when I
invited a peg seller in for a cup of tea, I was far too young to
make a cup of tea !

How is everyone?

Hi everyone. Just a short post. We are away for the weekend with my daughter and H. As it is my Birthday. So nice to be with them both. It’s always bitter sweet as my dear Son was born on the same day . Just wanted to say hello and send lovexx

Annie I think your family life must have been wonderful. I was a much loved child born to my mother late in life so all my family and cousins were years older than me. In many ways it was like being an only child except I did have a lovely but adult brother. I think some children are just born shy. I cannot think of any event in my childhood that would cause me to be like this other than when I was 5 my mum had to go to hospital and was away for a few weeks. I missed her dreadfully and have never forgotten that time. I was shy before though.
If you slept for so long this afternoon you must have needed it.
Nice of your SIL to phone. Hope you get some help with your hearing soon.
Scaredycat happy birthday. ?. Sorry I did not realise it was a celebration weekend. Hope you are having a lovely time with your DD and family. Enjoy yourself.
DH and I both had our Covid booster and flu jabs today. Both my arms are aching but it’s not too bad.
I have felt on edge for a while now. Always something in my mind. I sleep well but wake a bit anxious.
How is everyone else?

Scaredycat Happy Birthday to you. I hope you have a lovely weekend with your daughter and SIL. I hope you can manage to celebrate your day and I can see that it must also be a very difficult time too, I'm so sorry. I hope wherever you are the weather is kind to you all and you share some lovely family time together.
Anniebach The footage of our lovely Queen has been constantly there and it must have stirred up the memories for you, I'm sorry. I'm sure you will have great ones of being in such a loving family. I loved that you invited the peg selling lady in for a cup of tea as a child. Think Doodle and I might have hidden! I would have far preferred not to be shy, especially at school.
HVDY Sure you must be relishing being at home again. Hope you enjoyed the Aqua aerobics. Thank you for asking after me. Sorry if I missed it but were you heart monitor results OK?
Doodle I'm sure environment can sometimes play a part too but I think I was born a typical introvert. Neither of my sisters seem as quiet as I am and are both more outward looking. I overthink things--I think! I had a text message from our surgery for flu jab but it said nothing about a covid booster and I'm sure husband and I are due one. Like you I had acing arm a couple of days after last one but it never bothers husband. They've probably got thicker skins though he never has problems with blood tests like myself either. Maybe his veins are different. The Queen's passing is difficult as it's such a reminder of our mortality but so sad to think of those left behind. I hate change. Its comforting to know that the Queen did not have prolonged suffering though.

Violetsky, Ellie Anne, Joyce, Nanny hope you're OK. X

Sweetpeasue yes very sad about the Queen. I’ve just seen William and Harry walking about looking at the flowers with their wives. I do hope they reconcile if possible for both their sakes.
Think I might have trouble sleeping tonight as I usually sleep in my side. I think my arms will be too painful for that although it’s ok when I am just sitting. Hope you have a pain free night and sleep well.

Doodle Yes I saw them too. I imagine that the King's heart is broken with the loss of his mother and the family problems. I did not think he looked well today at the ceremony of the proclamation (if that's what it was called). It seems such a lot to cope with when he's just lost his mother. It must be a strange life to live it so publicly and to not have the personal privacy available to ourselves.
Your arms sound really sore. They must have but an injection in each arm--I thought it would be 2 vaccines combined in one arm. Hope it feels a little easier tomorrow for you. Everything seems to be coming together to disturb your peace lately Doodle. Life can be very hard. We will need to try and find strength. I know I think about things too much but it's because I feel a necessity to understand. I really hope you get a peaceful night. X

It was strange seeing William and Harry together but I don’t see how they can really be reconciled unless h and m retract some of the things they have said about the family.
It’s been a sad week. I didn’t expect to feel so affected by our Queen dying. If I lived near I would go to watch her car passing but sadly I don’t.
I wasn’t a shy child but as I got to teenage years and wasn’t liked or popular I changed. Now I’m quite reserved and keep in the background. My father put me down or made fun of me .
I’m going to church today but my heart isn’t in it.
Thinking of you all. Hope you get your hearing sorted Annie.

Anniebach Hope you get a hearing test/hearing aid, if needed, soon.
ScaredyCat Hope you had a lovely birthday with your daughter yesterday.
Doodle I hope your arms are not so painful today.
SweetPeaSue I haven't had the results of the heart monitor. I assume things are OK. I might ring the hospital in the week, to try to find out.
VioletSky, EllieAnne, all on BD - I hope you have a good a day as you can. It's foggy here and cold. x

Hi all x

Doodle understandable you had such a close bond with your mother, I said recently I am the only left hander of 20 cousins,
not my choice, I was born left handed, proved very useful when my poor mother would say ‘ why do you do x x x ,why can’t you be like your sisters’ my reply ‘because I am left
handed’ !

Scaredycat happy birthday and hugs x

Ellie Anne explains much about your lack of self confidence,
please , please accept the one with problems was your father, I
can’t imagine your pain. I am not comparing your father with
the following but a girl in my school year was so disliked because she was so moody and difficult, not until she was 16
did the cause become public, her father had abused her from
a very young age, he threw himself under a train. I ache when I
think how lonely she was . Please accept you are cared for here,
you can build your self confidence my love x

HVDY do telephone for the results x

Friends, there has been many, many calls to mental health lines
since the death of the Queen, she was stability in an unstable
world.

How is everyone?

Thank you all for your birthday wishes. It was a lovely weekend - those times are so precious.
It was a very big Birthday and I can’t believe I have got so old- so many loved ones were not so lucky and I am very fortunate in many ways.
Doodle- hope you managed to have a comfortable night and your arms aren’t so bad today. We have ours in October . Yes watching William and Harry I just wished they would reconcile - siblings are so precious and life is so short. My son was bereft when he lost his brother.
SweetPeaSue- the weather was kind thank you just a bit of rain but mainly warm and sunny. So good to spend time together .
I know what you mean about wanting to understand things - because then you can deal with it. It’s uncertainty that makes you worry so much.
Hope you are feeling ok today.
HVDY- Hope the results come through soon . What have you been up to?
EllieAnne- what damage parents can do when they say careless unthinking things to their children . I,m so sorry - we care for,you very much.
Annie- can you have someone to test your hearing come to the house? I think too that sometimes the diction of many people on tv is really hard to hear properly as so many actors these days whisper or mumble.Hope you get it sorted soon.
Yes it’s a strange feeling knowing the Queen is not there any more - she was a very comforting presence. I wish Charles well- he couldn’t have had a better role model.
I remember being walked through my childhood city in a school crocodile to,watch the film of the Queens Coronation at the cinema. We didn’t realise the historic significance but were so excited to be getting out of lessons!!!
Love to all BDG

Not a good night last night. My arms weee so painful and I felt very nauseous. Feel better today but still wobbly.
Sweetpeasue thank you for your kind thoughts. Some good news today, I have heard from my friend. Not in a good place but there is Hope.
Ellie Ann like you I was strangely moved by the death of the Queen.
If your father put you down or made fun of you it must have a big impact on how you view yourself. That was so unkind of him. I have a handful of friends at most. Never was the life and soul of the party.
Quiet people tend to be in get background but it’s often them that people turn to when they have a problem..
Do you have any quiet services in your church? We have one or two and I find that more peaceful thank the Sunday morning service.
HVDY is it another busy weekend for you? I’ve made a cake today but otherwise not feeling well enough to do much. Hope your results come through soon and are ok.
Annie lots of left handed people in our family. I don’t think it’s frowned upon now like it was years ago.
That’s a sad story about your friend from school. Things that happen in life can affect us for such a long time.
I think people are amazed at the amount of emotion there has been about the Queen. She was such a wonderful lady.
Scaredycat glad you had a nice birthday. Ooh a very big one. I hope it was made very special for you.
Did you have a cake? Must be lovely to celebrate with you family.
Take care all and sleep well

Scaredycat I know what you mean about birthdays as we get older. My next one is on Thursday. We're both Virgos. Not that I set much store with Astrology mind.
Anniebach Hope you're OK and the rolling news about the Queen isn't causing too much upset. I find it difficult to take in that our Queen has gone but today it seemed more real when we saw the Hearse. One of my sons is left-handed. Think he found writing more difficult though thankfully he did not get persuaded to use his right hand by teachers.
Ellie Anne What a lot you've had to cope with. It saddens me to think of any child being constantly criticised by a parent. Damaging to any child, let alone a very sensitive one. If that critical voice comes into your head, refuse to believe it. x
HVDY Hope you're OK today and youve had a decent weekend.
Doodle How are your arms today? Hope you managed to get some sleep and of course your husband too.

Fairly sure my uterus is pressing on my bowel and causing the pressure and bearing down pain in bowel with sharp pain in uterus. I'm beside myself with anxiety and I'm trying to stop my mind from constant whirling. For the first time in a fortnight I was able to walk by the seashore today. Mind kept going over my problems but I tried to concentrate on each shell and tiny glitter of the sand and notice the detail of the sea and smell. Being in the present completely. Knowing our lives are all fleeting there's a lot to be said for being in the here and now. I know I'll be up tonight and will be terrified on Tuesday but I have to stop myself thinking of it. I want to say that I've felt and been very alone many times but I didn't realise, even when I came on BD that although it doesn't solve problems, even a kind word from someone here has been like a drop of water in a desert so I thank you all for that.
Hope you all have a peaceful night friends. X

Doodle our posts crossed. Sorry about your bad night though. Hope they're a little better tomorrow. I'm pleased you've heard from your friend, that's good. I hope she keeps in touch with you.
It's extremely unsettling for most of us who've been brought up with the Queen as our monarch all our lives. It feels like the world has turned upside down for so many. It's good to see young people in the crowds paying respects and being so appreciative for her service too.

Anniebach That poor girl at your school. We never know what secrets some people have to carry. I have the subtitles on when we've got the tv on. My hearing has been tested, it was fine, but I do sometimes find it hard to understand people if they mumble (my brother does that and he's got a very quiet voice) x
ScaredyCat I'm glad you had a nice birthday, despite the bittersweet memories. x
Doodle Having 2 vaccines at the same time made me like that, too, last year. I hope you soon feel better x
EllieAnne Things said to us when we were children can have a lasting effect. I remember my dad telling me "you're not pretty when you cry", which was a stupid thing to say. (I wasn't particularly pretty anyway, I think) x

I have been really lazy this weekend - apart from the usual changing beds and doing the washing, I've done a bit of weeding and nothing else really. My brother has been texting me, complaining about his pain. (He had surgery, has a 4in wound, what does he expect?!). Son2 rang for an hour. Hope everyone has a restful night x
SweetPeaSue