Black Dog 14

Evening all. I got to the gym today and met an old friend - she’s recently retired and said after she’s been to India (long ambition) we must meet up, which was nice. But I’m pretty down, weary fo being so very weary, not having fresh air walks and so on, and anxious about consultant on Wednesday, wish I had someone to go with. I should grab my curate and ring them up and say “special needs - dont cope well in strange big places” but they are so busy. Back in the day - well till about 2016- my MH support worker used to come with, that’s way gone now.

Annie so sorry its a struggle to write, and technology still letting you down.

Scaredycat very difficult contemplating a busy weekend when you really don’t feel up to it. I wish your Af would calm for you awhile.

It was so nice you made a difference to Auntie, Sweetpeasue sound like you made her day.

They sound a nice lot, HVDY. cross fingers for Wednesday. A pair of good trainers (I live in them except for “special”) are worth weight in gold as they are so foot-kind

I am certain that my son “leaving” had a profound effect in triggering long term stuff Cindy. Yes for some of us the attachment has been so profound - or complex - that it goes way beyond “empty nest”.

But don’t feel bad, because in these circumstances you deserve a medal not criticism - you Have “let him go to live his own life” and still give loving support.

~~~~~~~~~ warm waves to all BD’s present, and reading.

Erm...not grab my curate, but grab my courage!

SweetpeaSue Yes, lots of lonely older people. Your auntie must love your visits.

ScaredyCat You've got such a lot going on with the family problems, as well as your own, but you still find the time to post kind things to us all on here. Be kind to yourself and have a rest.

Candy6 How often do you see your son? Have you got other sons/daughters? We've got 2 GDs, (daughters of 1 son) one 11 1/2, her sister is 8. Another GD due in June (our other son)

Hope everyone else is ok too. DH and I went to a local park (we've got lots of lovely parks) and fed the geese, swans and ducks - someone had posted on Facebook that the birds were all very hungry, so we took a large 5 litre) tub of mixed seed. They all came dashing for it . We then had lunch in a pub and did a bit of shopping. Hope everyone has a pleasant evening x

Sorry, Wyllow, just missed your post. Yes, trainers are so comfortable. I had Plantar Fasciitis some years ago and had to give up all my lovely 3in and 4in heels.

Letting our children go is hard - our eldest son moved back in with us almost 3 years ago, and I missed him so much when he started a new job last April and was out of the house (after WFH for about 2 years). Of course, Son2 is now with us, temporarily, and I'll miss him when he goes, too.

HVDY what a lovely afternoon out in the park with the ducks and geese. We have lots of ducks and geese here too. They are always on the lookout for food.
I’ve been painting using watercolour pens. Easy to use and no mess. Very pleased with them.. My friend enjoyed our afternoon painting and has done more since.
At least this lady let you know she doesn’t want you till Wednesday rather than last time. Give you a few days to wear your new shoes in 😊
Scaredycat no need to apologise but thanks for letting us know otherwise we would worry. Sorry the AF is a real issue at the moment. Hopefully there will be good news of your sister and GGS soon. We have visitors next weekend too. I must tidy before they come.
Sweetpeasue you must be very fond of your Auntie. She is lucky to have you visit and take her out. So many lonely people around. Hope you have a peaceful weekend.
Candy do you get to see your son often? I find too that I miss my family when I’ve been with them for a while. I enjoy being with them but miss them when we go home. We are lucky ours aren’t far away though we don’t see them that often.
I’m sure your grandson loves you going to watch him play and cheer him on. That’s what counts.
Wyllow nice to meet up with someone you know at the gym.
Outside walks do help too but the weather isn’t very encouraging at the moment. I’m sorry there isn’t anyone to go with you to counselling. Is there no one you could ask? I hope the session goes well for you and is helpful.
Ooh I did wonder about the curate 🤣🤣.
Annie I hope your hands feel better today. x

Doodle I forgot to say how thrilled I was with the painting report, more, more, more. Yes, the curate was most...entertaining

There is no one yet I can ask to go with me as being with abusive Ex was too isolating for friendships, tho in the past have had good strong ones. Thats my plan for this year! I feel a bit better as had long chat with DocSis and her re-draft of notes to take in should be very effective, I've also googled and found out volunteers do exist to "Chaperone' so will ring them on Monday.

DiL has just texted and says she could come down all the way for the day with L my very disabled GD but if I am honest it would make me more anxious sort of "putting on them" and actually more tiring as after the appointment I can get taxi home and get under the covers and no need to talk.
Its a 5 hour round drive for her - overwhelmed by the generosity but would rather save it for if I need an operation and so on.

Attachment, love, and loss are complex things - so much can come up when M Health stuff is present - hard to resolve, too, tho counselling has helped me move forward some way and hope it can for others too.

Wyllow that amazing offer from your DIL must cheer you a lot. She obviously cares enough to attempt such a long journey with her daughter. That’s really nice of her.
It could be good if you could get a chaperone to go with you.
Hope you can arrange something.
As for the painting, I painted a snowman on an empty wine bottle for Christmas then put lights inside. DH was so impressed with it he insisted we kept it for next year. 😊

How very lovely, Doodle. Simple is good!

I was knocked out by DiL's offer. Nervous about being a needy one to my own son and DiL... sort of earlier than one might have expected...but maybe we all have accepted there are many ways of loving.* The offer reassured.

Wyllow3 What a very kind and generous gesture from your DIL. It's a long way for her. A chaperone sounds ideal. I hope it can be arranged.

Doodle Your snowman bottle sounds lovely.

Son2 texted me last night. He's got his girls again this weekend (Thur evening til tonight). The 11 year old is playing in a rugby match today - in Nuneaton! Quite away from us (Nottingham) and he was anxious about driving there as he hasn't been far since passing his test a few months ago. I volunteered DH (to his mild annoyance) so we're going there today. Hope the weather stays alright .

Hope everyone manages to have a decent day x

Have a good day there, HVDY may you have sun.

Woke up exhausted but will make it to Quakers. Unfortunately there is an interesting discussion afterwards, but I know thats too big an ask. Hate missing stuff like that, needs must. I'm not good on patience!

Made it to the rugby club - it was in Market Bosworth, so not Nuneaton itself. The match was good, she played well. It was sunny but bloody cold! Just got back home, after a quick cup of tea at son's house. Hope everyone's been ok x

Evening all. Not a good night for me last night or day today. A real bad episode of the whatiferies that I’m having trouble lifting myself out of.
Wyllow I’m sure it will have been of comfort to have your DIL make such an offer.
Hope you got on well at Quakers. Did you stay for the discussion or go home and rest?
HVdY I’m sure your presence was much appreciated especially as it was so cold. I expect you need a warm dinner tonight. Something from the airfryer?
Annie Sweetpeasue Scaredycat thinking of you all.

I found a prayer today in a church booklet and thought I would share with those of us who have faith. Help in difficult times
Hope you can read it

Doodle Anything in particular causing the "whatiferies"? Or a combination of things? You've certainly got enough on your plate with your lovely husband's health troubles. Not using the airfryer today - Son2 has been at his GF's since yesterday, said he'd be here to make a curry (his idea). He's not in yet, so not sure what we'll end up having (or when). I'm still not warm yet.

Thank you doodle. That is lovely.

A lurker rather than a poster on this lovely thread but just wanted to thank Doodle for the prayer. It really touched my heart when I was feeling a bit low and reminded me to keep on trusting.

HVDY I remember watching my sons playing football from sidelines. Unbelievably cold in Winter. Son had gormed Sunday League team and we followed them around at times. Cant say it was fun when he kept bringing home the whole teams football kits back though. Thick muddy, ruined my washer! 😒 Good times though. Your little granddaughter must love playing. Sure she'd appreciate you both being there.
Wyllow I hope you can get a 'chaperone' tomorrow. So lovely of your dil to offer like that. Youll be pleased to get the appt behind you and the scans and/or tests sorted. Hope your Quaker meeting went well.
Doodle That was nice of you to post the prayer. I'm so sorry you had such a bad night and you're beset with worries. You must get very concerned about your husband's health problems. I hope whatever else you are worried about is resolved soon.
EllieAnne If you went to church today I hope that troublesome lady is keeping in the background and you felt more settled about it all.

I hope everyone is muddling through. Thinking of you Scaredycat and hoping youre ok.
Seem to be doing a lot of hoping in this post. Wishing all on BD a peaceful night. x

Just saying hello to you all - so good to know you are there.
Doodle- hope the Whatifferies leave you alone soonxx thank you for the prayer it’s lovely.
Love to allxxxxx

HVDY yes I know what’s causing the problem. Nothing I know has happened just what I worry about. Just comes across me sometimes.
Hope you get your curry. How’s your sons girlfriend doing with her pregnancy?
Thorntrees welcome. I’m glad you liked the Prayer. I was in two minds about posting it but it meant something to me today and I thought others might draw strength from it too. Sometimes we all get to feel a bit lost. Hope you are ok.
Thanks Sweetpeasue we all have our troubles don’t we.
How have you been today?
We certainly are here for you Scaredycat and thinking of you and your family. x
Wyllow hope all goes well with your counselling and you find it helpful.
Annie any news on the TV yet?

Underneath Wednesday (colorectal clinic) is worrying a lot - its the exhaustion of strange place/alone/ hoping I'll be heard stuff/how will I cope

I had a lovely Quakers but tho I loved the 40 in walk in the Botanical Gardens after wards (its been ages since fresh air) I'm still negotiating being alone in places where it used to be "We" (not that I want that abusive"We" back but there were times when we did support each other.) And I'd done too much on the walk, later was fluey.

But picked up a lot = chat on gransnet, some music, and just watched "Call the Midwife" which I like as there is so much love in it and there was a M Health storyline tonight dealt with so well. (Including sh*t resources even then!)

I liked the prayer because it is a call from the heart and I dont feel I have to have the same kind of god but it bears witness to the love between others and the strength of trust in the compassion we can feel towards each other that gives strength.

Nice to meet you Thorntrees and I feel for you so much Doodle as you and MrD have such a hard road to tread. And this must trigger so many uncertianites and whatiferries.

Hoping your son's time with gf has gone as well as it might, "HVDY* and that food has sorted itself out. I had a treat beer coated battered cod (thank you Freezer).

Thinking of your family and you Scaredycat and that the shadow of the very difficult lady has faded, Ellie Anne.

And hoping its been as OK a day as it might Sweetpeasue and Candy. Read other thread its been tough time Whiff. May this week include a TV sorting at long last *Annie and hoping that Bd's present and just reading stay as well as you can.

SweetpeaSue I'm glad not to be involved in washing any muddy kit. GD changed her muddy boots for some trainers, put the boots in a carrier bag - and sat on a blanket in my car . She went home but then had another big row with her mum, so was picked up by her dad - and is staying with him all this week . I reckon she'll be living there full-time before long (it's what she wants)

Doodle It's hard not to worry about things, isn't it? I sometimes wake in the night with anxious thoughts. She's going on fine with the pregnancy, Doodle, thanks for asking. She's got the 2o week scan in a couple of days, although she had a scan to determine the sex - it's a girl - We paid for the crib the other week, and I bought a lot of clothes, nappies, blankets, recently.

Wyllow I suppose getting used to being on your own, after being in a relationship (albeit abusive) must be daunting at times. If you could get a chaperone to go with you to hospital, that would help. Glad your Quakers meeting was good. The botanical gardens sound nice. Beer-bettered cod (and chips?). Lovely.

We didn't get our curry! Son eventually came in at 8pm (little sod, he didn't let us know). He'd had a nice time with his GF.

Just watched Happy Valley. Apparently, Hebden Bridge, where it's filmed, has so little crime that the police station has closed. Going to bed soon. Hope everyone has a restful night x

HVDY Id never looked it up but I know Hebden Bridge Ohis so quiet I was surprised that it was the location for Happy Valley. We've just watched latest and it's gripping isnt it? Oh Im really sorry about your Granddaughter's situation with mum. Real life is so hard. I guess we often have to take each day as it comes. My son cancelled invitation last minute today. Ah well. We need to look to ourselves sometimes.

Wyllow Ill be thinking of you Wednesday. V much so. Hope you will be ok. x

Wyllow I hope whoever you see in Wednesday is someone who listens and you can have confidence in. I’m sorry you have to go on your own. So many things must be hard for you being in your own even though your relationship with your Ex wasn’t good there must have been times of companionship.
I watched Call the midwife too. I like Happy Valley as well. I think Sarah Lancaster is a very good actress I’ve seen her in so many different things,
Hope you sleep well tonight.
Your poor DGD HVDY it’s not good when kids fall out with their parents. Thank goodness she has your son to turn to.
I hope the bullying. At school has been dealt with for both children.
I loved buying things for my DGC. A crib is a nice gift.
Sweetpeasue sorry you didn’t get to see your son. Hope you are doing ok today.
Whiff I don’t know what’s wrong but hope you are ok. Thinking of you.

Doodle Just read your prayer thank you....
I do think about everyone hear ... I’m always in the background
Hope everyone has a peaceful night sleep, and it’s a better day tomorrow for all ....
🌸🌸

The difficult lady has not been back at church. I’m concerned she may be feeling lonely but another lady she has upset has offered to meet with her (with a witness) To talk over their problems but it has not happened yet.