Black Dog 15

Doodle Thank goodness you managed to get an appt with your GP.
I hope the drug thats responsible for fluid retention and breathing problems soon leave his system. It's awful about the RLS though. Will that be relieved at all when he hasn't the breathing problems? He has so many conditions going on poor man.
HVDY Sounds like a lovely family celebration meal tonight. Sure you'll all enjoy it. Dont envy you the 'bloods' though-bet you have great veins. Still bleeding.
Wyllow Hope you've been ok today and there's been no more night messages from ex.

Oh Doodle -so hope it works out even just a little bit better.

Hope your blood tests don't find anything untoward, HVDY

Candy..sounds promising! But sometimes "2 steps forward" so dont beat yourself up if everyday isn't better.

I was glad to read sis news, Scaredycat. Wonder what will happen on the chair lift front. But it sounds like you could do with extra pairs of hands at home for caring yourselves.

Hi Sweetpeasue I'm guessing no news isnt good news today, lots of hugs.

having had a good quakers the Ex fears have receded. However something that I'd had to push to the back of my mind came to haunt last night. Days ago I found a large lump on top of upper arm. Like the size of a hard boiled egg cut in half. Didnt immediately ignore it - googled and found it was either a tumour benign or not, or something called a limpona which is just fatty tissue growth. Symptoms as to either - ambigious when I tested.

Ignoring it doesn't work forever tho and worried about it a lot of the night but missed the GP call in time this morning. Ok I told myself have an easy going day, music, read, but found it impossible:

Rung GP after proper time citing recent all too muchnesses and have managed to get a call back by 6pm today, but I imagine they will have to see it.

Waves across the country to all other BD's. Ellie Anne I noted with disappointment your nemesis turned up yesterday: your best protection is to be good friends with others there who know who you are! The very fact I think you said she'd been to 5 other churches says it all.

Just feel I cant face another 2 week palaver is why I was ignoring it but ruminating worse said my sensible mind.

Wyllow Thankyou for the hugs.
Glad the fears about ex receding a little. I just wanted to tell you that I found a lump, about the same size you describe, on inside of my forearm about 10 yrs ago..Mine turned out to be a 'fatty lump'. Its still there and never grew or decreased in size. Just thought I'd mention it as didnt want you to worry too much but you need it checking with Dr. Hope he can provide reassurance with yours too. Take care. Xx

Doodle Another bad night for you both again - sorry to hear that. I hope all goes better when your husband stops taking the tablet that's causing the fluid retention (I had to come off Amlodipine and then, recently, Lercanidipine, both BP pills). Didn't buy anything today, except a nice joint of beef for tomorrow.

SweetpeaSue I hope you're going on ok today, despite the bleeding (is it bad?)

Wyllow3 My friend (who I meet for coffee) has got a Lipoma on her upper arm, about the size of a golf ball. It's completely harmless, doesn't hurt or grow, and can be removed (although she can't get it done on NHS as they said it's cosmetic) if it causes any problems with getting clothes to fit. She's had it for years.

Hi all
Doodle- no wonder your eyes are tired- they need to sleep!! Glad the GP came up with a plan for DH- hope it will help him.
Good that he’s having blood tests too- she sounds very thorough.
Neither of us feel great but not any worse! Didn’t sleep very well last night either so hope tonight will be better.
Yes can’t believe my Sis might be home soon— it will not be easy but that’s where she wants to be.
Candy- so pleased you had a good time on Friday. It’s a lovely feeling that high you get when you enjoy something like you used to.
SweetPeaSue- hope you,re having a comfortable day todayxx
HVDY- have a wonderful evening with your family and Happy Birthday for your Son.
Hope blood tests went off ok and you had a good old mooch and maybe a purchase or 2!
Wyllow- glad that Quakers gave you some peace of mind - you have a fantastic support system there. Try not to worry about your arm it does sound like the limpona that others have described.
Don’t think the stair lift will materialise but she did 12 stairs in hospital hence the possibility of home🤞
Must try and make something for us to eat- Covid doesn’t seem very conducive to eating😩So will sign off while I still have a bit of energy.
Love to allxx

HVDY Oh beef is lovely and tasty and makes delicious gravy. I'm sure your husband will be having some of that. Yorkshire puddings? Bleeding is fresh like a light/mod period and is painful. But still having pain with bladder and having to go about 6 times during night. It relieves pain only temporarily. I feel a right moaner on here.
Scaredycat I hope you start to feel better very soon.I think the first few days are usually the worst.Hope you sleep better tonight. Your sister is doing really well. She couldn't stand at first so climbing 12 steps is a great improvement. I know you are worried about her coming home. She will most likely sleep better at home thats almost certain-less noise.I'm sure your BIL will look after her. She will just have to take it easy at first.
Candy Hope youve been ok today.

EllieAnneNadateturbe and all BDs have a restful night.

Twelve steps! That better than one would have thought a few weeks ago Scaredycat. I hope you are resting up and taking good care. EAT!

Well the GP was great - she didn't ring till 5pm but said come straight in. She doesn't think it dodgy but its not fatty, possibly a cyst, ultrasound in a month (as in urgent referral not 2 week referral) And yes I already checked out it would be cosmetic. Cyst could get bigger, ring if does.

Such a relief, I sailed home via the supermarket with sudden burst of "can do".

OTOH the report from the CFS clinic said (paraphrasing) we'll help you when your M health has stabilised not before. Neutral result? I would have liked "how to care for Cos and pacing help, but OTOH its hardly likely to encourage psychologist discharge me.

Doodle jining the huge crowd of BD's hoping tonight is just a little better for you.

Another warm wave Sweetpeasue. You are not moaning, you are telling it like it is xx

and HVDY you are a star cook and I bet you do it on a budget. Ahead of me at Sainsbury's was an appalling pile of frankly rubbish food and the bill (looked at the till) a staggering £179+.

Evening all, my second message as I somehow managed to lose the first .
Sweetpeasue I’m glad your hand is healing. So painful having the cannula in the hand but my son used to prefer it over the arm. Sorry you are bleeding and I hope the gynae appt. comes through soon. I’ve had quite a good day thank you. It’s a work day for me and been very busy. Just before we finished though, we were told to take our laptops home in case the weather turns bad and we can’t get in. This immediately triggered me and I don’t know why. I think it’s because I don’t deal well with change of routine. Silly I know. I hope your day has gone well.
Doodle I’m glad you managed to get a GP appointment and a care plan sorted. I hope this helps you both. You must be very tired and I hope you manage to get some rest tonight.
HVDY your lunch yesterday sounded lovely. I hope you enjoy your Indian this evening. Special times with family and more memories made . Hope you enjoyed your mooch around the shops. I love a mooch. Enjoy the beef.
Wyllow I’m glad you got to see your GP quickly. What a good service! Much better than ours. Good she’s organised a scan and I hope that goes well. Pity you can’t get help from the CFS clinic but good that you will still be able to see the psychologist. Bittersweet though. Glad you enjoyed quakers and I hope your ex has left you in peace.
Scaredycat good news about your sister. I always think people come on better at home. Sorry you didn’t sleep well last night and I hope the covid is getting better. Hope you have a restful night.
Wishing everyone, including those not personally mentioned, a restful night. Take care all xx

Started this post so many times. Not a good idea. I dont know why I''m so isolated and dont seem to have anyone to talk to.I know I shouldnt ne bleeding like this. I only had a bit of spotting before'*that*hysteroscopy. Normally would have been fast tracked to postmenopausal bleeding clinic but cant go there because thats where it all happened-cover up complications. Waiting so long for referral doesmt seem right for a 66yr old who's bleeding. Why did last Gynaecologist discharge me and not tell me the truth either? I'm not sure if another UTI it feels so bad but so does IC so not sure. Though good idea to get Urine strips that Nadateturbe said could get. Arrived fro Amazon yesterday and I've v abnormal amount of leucocytes, repeat test this morning. If have another bad night with bladder pain will ring GP tomorrow. Root canal, long appt and drive Wednesday. What more can go wrong? DGS with chickenpox and son goes back offshore tomorrow wanted us to have him but DH hasnt had chickenpox.I honestly feel so alone. Why cant they find out whats wrong? Its been so long. I hardly dare say the bowel stuff not so bad today. Well, lets end on a good note. A GP called about DHs BP and getting in touch with Dr he saw in hospital to see if he should be referred to BP specialist. The hospital Dr did say in letter he should be. Ive such bad thoughts and I'm ashamed Im feeling so like giving up. Sorry. I dont feel v strong.

Sweetpeasue thank you. No the drug DH has stopped is heart related and has no impact with the RLS. Hopefully next Monday we see the neurologist and maybe he can come up with something that helps.
You’re not a right moaner. If you are getting up 6 times a night you must be as exhausted as I am with DH. Sleep being interrupted like that is not good for your anxiety and worry.
So sorry for all the pain you are in. You probably feel like DH at times, totally fed up with the situation and wonder how much longer you can cope with it. I think you need to check about UTI and contact Gp if this continues.
You’ll be upset about not being able to have your DGS. I hope you’re son understood. It is not a good idea for someone of your DHs age to be in contact with chickenpox.
You sound so sad tonight. I know it’s not much but you aren’t alone. We are all here and we do care. Hope you have a better night tonight, I will think of you when I’m up with DH. We might be awake at the same time.
Wyllow I’m glad you made the decision to contact the GP. Leaving these things doesn’t take the worry away and if it turns out to be nothing then you can forget about it. I’m so glad you got to see the GP. I hope you bought something nice in the supermarket to enjoy tonight.
HVDY what are you going to do with your beef? Will you cook it in the airfryer. Will you be closer to your DGDs when they move than you are now?
I’m hoping for a better nigh but we shall see. Can hardly keep my eyes open at the moment.
Candy some people can’t cope with sudden changes of plan. They like order and structure and anything that changes that causes upset that others take I’m their stride. We are all different. Do you enjoy your job? I liked mine but was happy to retire,
Scaredycat yes our GP is senior partner and very kind. We have seen her or had a phone call from here every week for the past 4 weeks so I apologised today for contacting her again but she said it was exactly the right thing to do and was very helpful. If your sister can manage some stairs that shows she’s doing better. I hope all is ok when she gets home. Does her DH work or will he be home with her?
Hope the Covid symptoms lessen soon and you start to feel better.
Take care all and sleep well.

Candy -yes change does throw one, you are not alone!

Sweetpeasue carry on talking to us. Of course you feel so alone s many struggles. Keep asking for help. Not surprised you want to give up. We all care a great deal for you x

(My surgery isnt usually like that - I hit lucky, a tiny window she had before going out on evening calls. That means she'd been in the surgery since early and at 5.30 setting out on house calls. How do they do it I ask.

That said, my notes for the last year make substantial reading as Ex stuff is noted - but so do lots of others' notes on here.

However the one thing the surgery has always had - they look at state of mind as part of triage/treatment - maybe they are unsusal in that way? Is that other's experience?)

Doodle You say in your post 'I know it's not much' regarding my feeling alone. It means so very much. I know how my Interstitial Cystitis/BPS works, ie the extremely frequent trips to loo to relieve pain and swollen bladder but difficult to know when it's infection. I hate being such a weak parent and grandparent being like this. You sound so v tired but I thank you for posting tonight. I always think of you every night when I wake. I wish you and DH could have a peaceful night. It's so awful for you both. You must be so weary of the situation. Take care much love.x

ScaredyCat Good news about your sister. If she's managed 12 stairs in hospital, she'll be fine at home, and she'll be happier there. Hope you and your husband managed to eat something earlier.
Wyllow Your GP sounds excellent. It's good that she's arranging a scan. I feel sure everything will be fine. I used to like Sainsbury's years ago, but found it so expensive. We shop at Asda.
Candy6 Are you down South? Is that where snow is expected? Some people love working from home, but I'd think being with a group of people at work would be preferable to many.
Doodle The beef will be cooked in the slow-cooker. It's going to be Wednesday now, and both sons will be here. As always, I hope you and your husband get some rest tonight.
SweetpeaSue I'm so sorry you have all this pain and bleeding. No, it's definitely not right at this age. You feel alone but we on BD all care and feel a great deal of sympathy for you in your position. Please ring the GP again if things don't improve.

Just got in from a lovely evening. "See" you all tomorrow. Love to all BDers x

HVDY I'm so v glad to know you've had a lovely evening. Thankyou for your kindness. Any meat cooked in slow cooker is always tender. x

SweetpeaSue Is there any way you could go back to "that" hospital but see a different person there? Someone needs to find out properly what is wrong, and treat the problem. I know it's for a different reason, but when I had terribly heavy/prolonged periods, I was prescribed Norethisterone to stop it. Would something like that help, do you think? x

I'd see the Drs there that saw me. All one dept. I just cant. They're the reason Ive been through hell.I might have to call Dr later. Dont worry.

HVDY Just seen your question about Norethisterone. I'm postmenopausal so dont think I can take that.I think Gynaecologist might have suggested it but will ask Dr next time I get appt though dont think GP would start me on hormone. I had a nad night and morning but pain has settled down now thank goodness.

Hope everyone is ok. Snow was forecast here though so far not a flake.

The gritter lorry went along our road last night (it does because it's a hill), but we had sunshine and a blue sky. I've been chatting on the 'phone and suddenly noticed it was snowing - had to get DH to help me to get all the washing in off the line. It's now stopped, as suddenly as it started.

SweetpeaSue Glad things have settled down a bit.

Hope all other BDers have had a decent day, so far x

Good afternoon all or is it the middle of the night? It’s snowing here!
We’ve been up since 2 am. Went to surgery for blood test and luckily managed to get F2F with GP spoke to yesterday. She is leaning more to thinking DH s problems are heart related and I agree with her, stopping the medication hasn’t made the improvement I’d hoped for. Gp has prescribed some stronger diuretics as she thinks the build up of fluid in DHs body is causing his breathing difficulties. The new tablets seem to be working so we may well be up again tonight but for a different reason. DH is happier now he’s getting rid of some of the fluid.
We are both shattered but not the only ones here who have sleepless nights.
Wyllow it’s good that your surgery look at state of mind. I’m not sure many do unless it’s pointed out to them. Our surgery is very good they’ve been most helpful recently.
Sweetpeasue you’re not a weak parent of grandparent you are suffering ill health. It’s hard to look after grandchildren when you keep having to go to the loo or are in pain.
Thank you for your kind thoughts.
HVDY slow cooked beef. Really nice. I bet your sons enjoy coming round for a meal. Glad you had a nice time yesterday.
Did you send the snow south 🤣
I may not post again today as I’m not sure how long I can stay awake but I’ll be thinking of you all. Little hug 🤗

Doodle I hope the new diuretics help your husband (I suppose he'll be going to the loo a lot more). Can you both manage to have a bit of a doze before dinner?

I'm doing the roast beef tomorrow. Tonight is going to be a Gousto recipe I've had ages - Mexican chicken traybake with lime yogurt (DH won't like it).

Doodle You'll be worn out being up since 2am. How lucky getting same GP, Im sure it helps if we see same one. I think GPs can have a gut instinct about things sometimes and she sounds intetested in your DH's problems. I hope his breathing and swollen legs improve with these new diuretics. We were forecast snow here on North-East coast and not seen anything, it's strange.

The GP rang me about some blood tests I had yesterday - one showed raised levels of something, and she thinks I've got Vasculitis, an autoimmune disease. She said she'd contact the hospital and I'd hear in a fortnight. Ten minutes later, she rang again, said she'd spoken to a Rheumatologist and that he'd ring me within a week. Another 10 minutes later, this Rheumotologist himself rang, told me to go to see him at the hospital tomorrow. I'm pleased/anxious/relieved/happy, so we'll see what is said tomorrow. The NHS can be excellent at times, and this is one of those times.

Wow that’s some service HVDY. Hope all goes well tomorrow.
Sweetpeasue I’m worn out and worried about DHs heart condition. Whilst he’s had heart disease for nearly 30 years this latest thing has come out of the blue. I am concerned but at least the Gp is doing all the relevant tests. Poor man, I’d wish it was me rather than him but that would break his heart.
Hoping for a good night for all. Sleep well

HVDY thank goodness for the quick response but of course you are anxious too!

Doodle love and thoughts go out to you - of course you must be worn to a shred by now - only positive thing I can see is that you are clearly in the GP's "sights". Is there any practical help you can call on, anything, to ease the results of coping with the exhaustion?

Sweetpeasue hope you've contacted someone if more heat pain today.

I've been in bed all day wiped out except for a Zoom counselling, which didn't get far as my head was in duh zone.

Doodle Thank you. You must be exhausted with it all. I hope the tests your husband's GP is doing will show up what the real problem is, and that it can be dealt with. Can you both get to bed a bit earlier, perhaps?

Wyllow3 Yes, the service is brilliant (but then I wondered if it's something drastic?) I'll find out properly tomorrow. Sorry you've been so tired. I suppose you know when/how to pace yourself. I hope tomorrow will be better for you.