Black Dog 19

Hi all.
Doodle- yes it is always nice to be home and today all the washing got dry!! Reasons to be cheerful!! Our last beach walk when the tide was out we came across a huge dead jelly fish. It was so big from a distance we thought it was a baby seal!! The sea shore is full of wonders isn’t it.
SweetPeaSue- I,m so sorry you are feeling so much pain and your spirits are low. Feeling without hope is so sad- you have had some good days lately - hang on to that thought. Lovely to hear from you always.x
Nadateturbe- thank you for your nice greeting- good to be home. I too love chats alone with my children - it’s special.
Glad you had a nice day out- you certainly make the most of your good days.
Wyllow- hope you had a restful sleep.xx
HVDY- I,m sorry you have lost 2 of your brothers. You must miss them. When my Sister was so ill earlier in the year I was terrified I,d lose her.
What a good sleep you had - you must have been tired.
Lovely sunshine all day today but freezing cold.
Bea65- hello. I don’t like the dark early nights either- just closing the curtains makes me feel dozy.
EllieAnne- hope the weekend hasn’t been too stressful for you.
Candy,Allsorts,Whiff, Hymnbook, Fishwife,Nanny and all sending love

Bea65 Is your mood low at this time of year, or all year round? I think the dark evenings and cold mornings affect moods.
nadateturbe You had a nice day out then. Good to see some sunshine, even though it's been cold.
Dodle We've had a lazy day too. I changed the bed, did some washing, watched tv. Salmon, roasted new potatoes and veg . DH doesn't like fish, so he had steak.

How's everyone else been? Wyllow, are you managing to get into your garden at all? SweetpeaSue, how are you feeling? EllieAnne, have you been out? Church?

Hope ALL BDers have a relaxing evening x

Doodle sounds like a nice day. What have you been painting? I've been trying to paint the Mussenden Temple, 3rd attempt. My art teacher says I'm too critical. I think we can all be like that.
I hate that low feeling when you don't want to get out of bed, although I haven't had it for a while. I find it frightening. I hope you don't get it too often.
Scaredycat it's very satisfying to get all your washing done.
You should have taken a photo of the jellyfish.
I agree it's sunny but very cold. I am wearing a sweater I normally wear in January.

Here he is

Gosh, 😲, it does resemble a baby seal.
Thanks Scaredycat.

Scaredycat what a wonderful thing to see . Can't believe how beautiful the blue is. I have seen jellyfish swimming in Cornwall from a seawall but nothing that big.

Goodnight everyone, hope its a peaceful one for you xx

Night night BD's. Sorry can't share atm xx

Wyllow it's good you let us know you are still there and reading. I wish I had a magic wand and could help you. Just make sure you are eating healthy foods and having plenty to drink non alcoholic. Make sure you are keeping warm as being cold can make you feel worse. Hopefully you are walking about your home or doing your yoga . Hope I remembered correctly you do yoga. Or I am muggled up again🤦.

Hope this makes you smile my youngest grandson is now in a bed . But he won't get out himself . He shouts for my daughter then says hello mommy. She says you can get out yourself. But he says no mommy do it. He's brother keeps telling him he can get out himself and showed how to do it. But no . I have him on Saturday for a few hours as his brothers at a birthday party and his dad's at the football. No idea what he will want to get up too. But knowing him he will want my carpet sweeper and long handled duster's. He will be 3 next month . At least my bungalow will be clean. 💐

He sounds very sweet Whiff. I'm sure you're looking forward to having him.

Scaredycat Ive never seen a jellyfish in real life. I know they can grow to an enormous size but that one is amazing. I wouldn’t have liked to come across it while it was alive.
Glad you got all your washing done. That’s the worst part of coming home I think.
I remember when your sister was so ill too. So pleased she’s much better now.
HVDY I didn’t sleep well last night. Felt nauseous for some reason and my tummy sounded like a washing machine on full spin 😱. I ended up sitting in the armchair till 4am when I finally went to bed. Hence a slow day today too. I have managed to do the ironing and another wash. Hospital visit with DH tomorrow so probably won’t get much done then either. Days seem to just go by without achieving anything.
nadateturbe my friend bought me a still life of fruit on a table that I’ve been doing. Painting by numbers as I have no talent of my own. It takes a long time to do.
I would love to be able to paint like you do. I have no sense of proportion or spacial awareness and can’t draw for toffee.
Do you sketch out your ideas first then paint?
Whiff that jelly fish is an amazing colour isn’t it. Looks quite sad laying there, they move so beautifully in the water.
The story of your little grandson made me smile. I love them when they are small. With mine it was always cars or Lego or building walls with bricks. Hope you have fun with him.
Sweetpeasue Wyllow hope somehow things improve for you soon.
Ellie Anne hope the weekend wasn’t too bad. Did you get out anywhere?
Candy did you go to your caravan?
Take care all x

Thankyou everyone for asking after me. In truth my pain is wearing me down. Bowel pain replaced now by severe bladder pain all morning but eased to moderate this afternoon. Finding it hard to not to sink. This morning was so unbearable and I have no faith in the Urologist saying its CPP, though I will have my say at Pain Management clinic. I do know It's bladder pain I'm not that stupid.

It is definitely hard to remain mentally well because of the continuous lack of explanation. I keep telling myself that the past pain did have a cause (trauma to womb) and the Adenomyosis that was caused by it. When the subsequent bleeding started the Adenomyosis (bleeding into the myometrium) was causing lots of uterus pain. Now thats not the case and the Adenomyosis is 'inactive' - no uterus pain. I also believe the fallopian tubes spilling contents of womb (told this happened by a stand in Dr) into abdominal cavity, during botched op, caused infection and fallopian cysts and bowel adhesion. When Laparoscopy was done last September that Gynaecologist would not be sufficiently experienced to examine every part of the length of intestines.
I didnt mean to go off into this again. So tired but can't delete now and reword everything.
Just my head so full of trying to get things in order. Bowel pain could be adhesion/s.
Uterus pain is past /accounted for.
Bladder pain is now--may have nothing to do with past mistakes.

I am so weary and I hope you'll excuse my openess about my feelings.

Will try and come back later. X

Doodle We crossed posts again. Really sorry to hear about your v bad night. Its miserable feeling nausea like that especially during the night when you feel so tired. Hoping its all settled now and that the hospital appt goes well tomorrow. You will need an early night.
Scaredycat That was certainly a huge jellyfish. Ive seen mamy but never ever a blue one! So glad you saw it on your last day. Thankyou for posting the photo. Hope you've settled in at home again and have some lovely memories of your holiday to look back on.

Hi all.

Been with DH to his Ultrasound scan today. He said they didn’t sound unduly worried but didn’t tell him anything. Results in 10 days time. Like all of you so many times I,ve sat in Hospital and felt sick to my stomach. My turn next Monday.
One of my adult GD is not well after a 3rd bout of Covid- very breathless and had to go to A and E. . She has been signed off work for another 2 weeks . She has had much to endure but is always smiley.

Whiff- your little Gs sounds a character- you,ll have fun on Saturday I,m sure.
Doodle- I,m so sorry you didn’t feel well last night- you must be exhausted today. Feeling nauseus is so debilitating - when my anxiety is bad that is one of the symptoms I hate.
You are right about the days often they just Bimble away and you wonder where they went!
Can you imagine being in the sea and that jellyfish brushing against your leg😩A lady told us it was a barrel jellyfish and they are the biggest ones we have around our coast. It was sad to see it he must have looked beautiful in the water.
Hope DH has a good H visit and that you sleep better tonight.
SweetPeaSue- sorry you are feeling so distressed. You have so many worries and Whatifferies filling your head. Could you maybe have a worry time in the day and then try and do something nice together. I know it’s not easy when you are tired and in pain but it might help. Good to hear the positivity in your words about the pain Clinic.
Yes we enjoyed our Holiday and I have lots of photos with the intention to try and start drawing and painting again. I like to work from my photos.
Hope you have a peaceful night.
Wyllow- I,m always so pleased when I see your Goodnight posts. I hope you are managing to eat some nourishing food and getting some kind help.x
Candy,HVDY, Nadateturbe, Allsorts,EllieAnne, Bea65,Hymnbook, Fishwife,Nanny and all hope you sleep well.

ScaredyCat What a big jellyfish. I've never seen one like that. Glad you had a nice holiday.

Whiff Little ones are so entertaining at that age, aren't they? Does he like playing with cars? I'd love a GS. Got 3 gorgeous GDs though, so with the eldest 2, it's been dolls and hairstyling things.

Doodle Hope the nausea has settled down now. Was it something you'd eaten? You'll perhaps be glad of an early night tonight. Hope your husband gets on ok tomorrow.

nadateturbe It's nice that you've got a hobby that you enjoy. You don't need to be an expert, art is whatever the artist puts down on paper/canvas.

SweetpeaSue You must be exhausted with all this pain. I hope you'll get some help from the pain clinic (is it November?). You can't go on like that.

* EllieAnne* How have you been? Wyllow, Candy6, ALL BDers - hope you've all been ok today.

I did aqua aerobics, then had brunch at the pub (pancakes and maple syrup), then vacuumed my car, did some washing, and some online shopping. That's enough for today . Hope ALL BDers have a decent night's sleep x

I can't manage to write much, in bed since 8pm exhausted. Didn't achieve much today, but I knew that might happen after yesterday's outing, but it was worth it. Had a lovely day with husband.
Doodle think something has upset your tummy. Nausea is really horrible, I wrote about an awful bout couple of weeks ago. I keep ginger tea in case. You did well with washing and ironing. Early night I think for hospital with husband tomorrow.
Sometimes we have to count the little things we achieve in a day.
Sweetpeasue so sorry. You must feel like screaming at someone sometimes. Giving you a big hug. I pray for you every day, for God to give you strength.
Scaredycat hope your husbands results are OK, the waiting isn't easy.
HVDY your days are always so active. I must try pancakes with maple syrup, I've never had it.
You are right about art - not having to be an expert, I'm certainly not.
Talk more tomorrow. Trying to sleep now.
I hope everyone on BD sleeps well. Goodnight Wyllow3.

Sweetpeasue so sorry the pain has come back again. I had hopes of a reprieve for a while. Whatever the cause of the pain it’s deeply affecting your wellbeing. I do Hope thé pain management people can being some relief. Oh don’t worry about my bad night. It’s wasn’t anything like yours. I wasn’t actually sick just felt nauseous with a very active tum. I certainly wasn’t in any pain like you, wish we could help.
Yes I am off to bed soon. I Hope you have a better night.
Scaredycat I hate waiting for results too. Hope it’s not too long. I too hate that nervous anxiety that comes with anything out of the ordinary. Hope your hospital trip goes well.
Sorry to hear about your DGD. Hope her breathing improves soon. I know some people who’ve been quite poorly with the one that’s doing the rounds now.
Good idea to use your photos for painting and drawing.
HvDY probably was something I’d eaten but can’t really think what. Nothing out of the ordinary. Thank you I do feel better now. Pancakes and maple syrup 😋 lovely.
nadateturbe glad you had such a lovely time. Hope an early night helps you feel better tomorrow.
Night night Wyllow. I’m off to bed now. Sleep well all. x

Night night and it's so nice to find greetings are things are bad and I know they are so difficult for other BD's too. xx

Thankyou all for your caring. It's such kindness here that helps so much.
Just a quick post to say I had a good night's sleep and I'm ok this morning (first time in ages, 🤞)
Thanyou for your prayers and good wishes.
Hope everyone's day goes ok and Doodles hospital visit wont be stressful. X

So glad to hear that Sweetpeasue.x

Scaredycat I gave you a very brief answer last night. I hope your GD is OK. Very bad luck to have Covid 3 times. She seems quite ill, I hope her breathing improves soon. But she sounds cheerful and positive which is good.
I think it's better to paint from photos than other paintings. You sound like a proper artist. (I'm not) Do you have your own style? Do you frame your work?
I get what you're saying about having a time to worry, it can help.
And I agree too about nausea. Different if you feel sick and can actually get rid of what has upset your stomach, but hours of nausea is horrible. Ginger tea is the only thing that helps me.

Just had my covid jab. I couldn't remember the time so I went at 9 15 am as I thought it was around that time.
Turns out it was for tomorrow!😁
I had a really good sleep last night.
Hope it's a good or at least reasonably good day for everyone xx

Scaredycat glad you had a nice holiday, it does us good to get away. Enormous jellyfish, it’s a shame you see so many of them dead, wouldn’t like be stung by one mind! I know what you mean about sitting in hospital waiting rooms and being sick to the stomach. I’ve had it more times than I care to remember with my close family member. I remember thinking there once “all this worry must do something to your mental health” and eventually it did. I’m not unique in this though as sadly there are many, many people who go through the same or worse. I hope your DH’s results are ok and also that your GD gets better soon. So many people affected my covid sadly. I hope you manage to create some lovely paintings from your photos. At least you will have lots of material to work from.

HVDY hope your back is ok now. Your GD has done so well putting on all that weight bless her but hard when you’ve got to carry her around though. Good you had a good rest afterwards. Hope you’ve had a good day today.

Fishwife hello and welcome. I’m afraid I haven’t got any knowledge of mirtazapine as I’m on Sertraline. It does take a while to get them in your system though so may be worth persevering. I’ve had sleepless nights through anxiety so I can empathise with you. It makes you feel more alone I think. I hope your forthcoming results will be ok.

Doodle how nice to have two sisters. I always wanted a sister but I’ve got brothers. Love them to bits though. Sounds like you had a nice time with DS1, it’s nice to spend time with family. You must be relieved that your DH doesn’t need that op too. Hope your tummy feels better and your DH’s hospital appointment goes well. Yes, we went to the caravan but only for 1 night. We took MiL because, as you may recall, she’s on her own now since her DH passed a few months ago. It’s quite challenging as she has memory problems but she enjoyed it that’s the main thing. The weather was beautiful- on Sunday you could have sunbathed it was that warm! Not so today though, it’s freezing.

Bea65 the dark nights and winter affect my mood too. I’ve just increased my meds to help me through the winter. The rain drags me down too. I try to overcome it by telling myself to not let the winter affect what I do but it can be miserable.

Nadaterturbe you sound so talented. It must be lovely to create something nice plus relaxing too. Good that you caught up on your sleep. Hope you are ok after your covid jab. I must chase ours.

Whiff your little GS sounds adorable. They’re so funny when they’re small. I hope you enjoy your time with him. Good idea to get him to clean your bungalow! I only have one GS and he’s my absolute world.

Sweetpeasue I’m sorry you’ve experienced pain again. You seemed to be doing well. I’m glad you’re feeling better today though. I hope it lasts for you. I hope you get some answers at the pain clinic too.

Ellie Anne hope you’re ok and your weekend wasn’t too bad. I know they can be a struggle for you.

Wyllow thinking of you and hoping that things are getting better for you. I hope you are getting the help and support you need. Thank you for still popping in though.

Love to all xx

nadateturbe Glad you had such a nice day with your husband. Was it an occasion, or just a good day?

ScaredyCat Is your GD Asthmatic? I hope her breathing is starting to be better now. Waiting for results of any test can be worrying. I hope your DH will be ok.

Doodle Hope your nausea has gone, and that your husband's appointment went well today.

SweetpeaSue Thank goodness you feel better today. You must be relieved. Glad you slept well.

Candy6. My back's fine now, thanks. It was caused by lifting baby in and out of the travel cot, which is really low. Nice that you took your MIL with you. How is she managing without her husband?

It's been bright and sunny al day. Met SIL (widow of late brother), went for coffee, then to B and M, bought some unnecessary stuff then had lunch and cake in a nice cafe, and I drove her home (she lives 8 miles from me and doesn't drive). Beef casserole has been cooking in the slow cooker all day. It's been a good day. Hope ALL BDers have been ok today x

SweetPeaSue- so pleased you had a better night and this morning sounds a better one.Hope today you can do something you enjoy.
Nadateturbe- thank you for kind thoughts for my GD. She doesn’t live near us so haven’t seen her but myDD went to see her. She has had health problems in the past so had a lot of tests in A and E. She is very brave and has dealt with a lot- always with a smile.
I,m not a proper artist - wish I was. But I have always been able to draw. I am better at drawing than painting. My favourite thing is Life Drawing.Yes I have framed some work - only for us though.
I,m glad you enjoy it too- it’s very absorbing isn’t it.
Sleep well again tonight.
Candy- you are right constant worry especially about those we love does eventually take its toll.
Glad your MiL was able to go to the caravan with you- she must love that. This will be her first Winter without her husband won’t it. Does she live near you?
I don’t like the Winter and I,m fed up with the cold already!! But oh those dark mornings and short days- I light candles to cheer us up.
HVDY- no my GD is not Asthmatic but she has had blood clots in the past. D H never really worries about things - never mind I do enough for both of us - thank you for kind thoughts.
Sounds like you,ve had a really nice day today- I’m glad.
Doodle- hope DH appointment went well today.
Hope to the nausea has stayed away and that you got a good nights sleep.
Wyllow- thinking of you as always . So glad you keep popping in xx
Love to all BDs