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Black Dog 19

(1001 Posts)
Doodle Fri 13-Oct-23 22:36:41

For the support, understanding and sharing of mental health issues.
All are welcome. We treat each other with kindness.

Sweetpeasue Tue 17-Oct-23 20:22:08

Candy Glad you enjoyed the short trip to caravan. The sunny day was well worth going and I'm sure your MiL appreciated it. Thankyou for your comcern - Ive had a good day today.
Scaredycat I hope your DGD is feeling a little better today. She's had such bad luck with Covid 3 times.
Isnt it strange that some people have an innate ability to represent images on paper and others cant. It must be such a gift you have and be lovely to draw with your grandchildren. We had a chilly but really refreshing beach walk today. No jellyfish but the little Sanderlings were there.
HVDY Snap. We went for coffee and cake today too. Plus I had braising steak n veg in slow cooker for dinner tonight. I don't know how I managed without the slow cooker before.
Doodle Hope you didnt have to wait around too long in hospital today and you had a much better night last night. You must have been so tired.
Nadateturbe You must be glad to have the covid jab out of the way. It made me smile you getting the time wrong-I can imagine how it felt. Good they did it for you and you dont need to go back. We get ours done on Friday morning. Think men must have thicker skins as DH's arm never bothers him afterwards.
Whiff Children can be so funny can't they. I have some lovely memories of my GS from being younger. We played such games of pretend. I dressed him up as an 'Adventurer' (Cape, DH's cowboy hat and walking stick with huge backpack on-) while he went to seek out the dinosaurs in our garden. (I'd planted them in hidden places around our garden).
Ive started knitting but Ive been getting myself in a right pickle.
*EllieAnne Hymnbook*Allsorts**Nanny*
FishwifeBea65 Hope you're ok.
Wyllow Thinking of you and glad you manage to pop in to let us know you are there with us. x


nadateturbe Tue 17-Oct-23 21:00:36

Back tomorrow everyone, very sleepy, possibly due to covid jab. Glad you had a good day Sweetpeasue.
Hope tonight is peaceful xx

Doodle Tue 17-Oct-23 21:07:56

Evening all.
Everything went well at the hospital for DH today and he has been discharged from further visits unless he contacts them. We went into town to do some shopping but I really struggled to walk there. My legs ache so much. Not pain just ache and I feel so tired. I will try and see the GP Monday and see if she can advise.
Sweetpeasue so pleased you had a good night. Hang on to that thought that some days are better than others.
nadateturbe ginger is well known for settling stomachs. I love ginger. Having nausea for hours must be so unpleasant. Im not nauseous any more but my tum is still playing up. I wonder if I’ve been eating too much veg. Cut back tonight and see how I get on. Glad you too had a good night. Good thing to get your Covid done. Mine’s on Saturday I think.
Candy you’re so right. I often drive myself mad with anxiety about hospital appointments for DH. Sit in the waiting room with stomach churning and foot tapping. You can usually spot others who feel the same.
It’s not me who has two sisters I think it’s nadateturbe. I had a close bond with my one brother though and my lovely sister in law too so I was lucky.
How nice to take your MIL to the caravan and you had good weather. I’m sure she enjoyed it.
Yes we had a lovely meal with our son. Don’t often get him on his own but don’t mind that as our DIL and his girls are lovely too.
HVDY that low bending to pick up the baby, when you’re not used to it, is bound to make your back ache. Hope it’s better now. Won’t be long before she can stand up and be easier to lift. Bet you wouldn’t miss it for the world though. You’ve got her first Christmas to look forward to as well. Little ones make Christmas I think.
Nice to meet up with your other SIL. I’m sure she appreciated it. Really ought to make more use of my slow cooker. Food is much more tender when it’s cooked in that.
Scaredycat hope your GD is improving. Is she still in hospital? Hopefully the tests will show no clots. She sounds a nice person.
I envy you your ability to draw. You wont be bored with that as a talent because you can always sit and sketch something. I am hopeless but my brother was skilled in wood carving.
I bought a thin padded jerkin today for the winter. I will wear it under my jackets as it fits snuggly and will hopefully keep the chill out.
I want to knit a matching hat and scarf for my winter coat but not sure my hand is up to it but if I start soon I might get it done in time.

Doodle Tue 17-Oct-23 21:09:30

Wyllow hope you are not being brought down more by the dark days. Do you have a SAD light? I’ve read they can be useful. Sleep well.
Ellie Anne thinking of you too. Hope you’re ok.

Candy6 Tue 17-Oct-23 22:44:06

Hi again

HVDY glad you’re back’s better. MiL seems ok most of the time. She is lucky really as she has a big family so there’s often someone around. She still gets lonely though but everyone is doing their best. Mmmmm a trip to B&M, lovely. I haven’t been in a while, must be a visit due. Sounds like you had a good day. The beef casserole sounds lovely.
Scaredycat yes, my MiL does live fairly close, as do most of her family so she is lucky in a lot of ways. I hope your GD is improving.
Sweetpeasue glad you’ve had a good day. Good you got out and had a treat.
Doodle glad everything was ok at the hospital, you must be relieved. Apologies for the mistake re sisters. It’s nice you had that close bond with your brother though. Family is so important. I hope you are able to manage the knitting you want to do. I haven’t done any in years and I’m not even sure if I can remember now. Maybe it’s like riding a bike 😂 (which I haven’t done for years either!).

I’ve been very tired today, don’t know why as I went to bed early last night and slept quite well. I worked from home today so I had a short sleep in my lunch hour then once I finished work, slept for over an hour. It worries me a bit but I have had blood tests. I think I’ll ask them if it checked B12 levels? Anyway hope all have had a good evening.
Thoughts to everyone else, especially Wyllow ❤️. Night all xx

HowVeryDareYou2 Tue 17-Oct-23 23:01:37

ScaredyCat Hope your GD is feeling a bit better. I was told, after my stroke, to only have the Pfizer Covid jab, as that would be less likely to cause any thrombosis (hospital said Moderna was causing blood clots in some people).

SweetpeaSue Glad you've had a good day. What type of cake did you have? Mine was Jaffa cake chocolate sponge, really gorgeous. It must be lovely to be near to a beach.

Nadateturbe It made me smile when you said you turned up a week early for your appointment. I did that at the hairdresser's one time. I did feel daft.

Doodle That's good news about your DH being discharged. Do you sit with your legs up when you're watching tv or knitting? Yes, looking forward to baby's 1st Christmas. She should be sitting unaided by then and able to play with toys more.

Candy6 Is your thyroid ok? It might be an idea to get it checked, and perhaps your iron levels.

Wyllow, hope you're looking after yourself. EllieAnne, hope you're ok. Hope ALL BDers have a restful sleep tonight. x

Wyllow3 Wed 18-Oct-23 00:06:36

Night night BD's xx

Hymnbook Wed 18-Oct-23 08:49:48

Morning everyone. I've not been on for a few days. I've got covid. I put off having my booster because I'm always unwell after having the jabs and I've had to have a lot of tests . I've been unwell for a few weeks hence all the different tests I've had trying find out what the problem is.
Now I've got Covid I've had to cancel arrangements and my flat is a tip.
Goodness knows how long I'll feel like this I've no energy.
Everything feels worse when you live alone.
I hope everyone else is doing ok. Thinking ofWyllow.

Whiff Wed 18-Oct-23 09:58:06

Hymnbook hope you feel better soon. Incubation period for Covid is 7-10 days . The other week I had my Covid jab on the Wednesday much to my surprise tested positive for Covid had no symptoms, but as part of my health regime I have to do a LFT every Saturday or if I feel unwell but not my usual unwell. I was very tired all weekend and sleep and my limbs hurt worse than normal. But I must have been incubating Covid when I had my jab and think that's why I didn't have any worse symptoms. My first time having Covid.

It's funny really I was exposed to it several times when it first started and unfortunately people where dieing. I had my grandson for 4 hours next day my daughter and all 4 of them tested positive and were very poorly.

I had jaundice in 2017 in hospital for 5 days . Then home for once in my life I needed someone 24/7 and there was no one. I was seriously ill for 5 months. Refuse any disability benefit so I could have paid someone to come in . Then found out when discharged by my gastrologist people with my bilirubin levels normally died. Whilst having jaundice is awful it was my wake up call my life had to change. 5 months of thinking as no one depandant on me anymore . I decided what I wanted out of life . It was only 3 things move house,loss weight and get fit.

Moved to my bungalow in the north west 2019. Started my diet in 2017 Lost 7 st and kept it off but been trying to lose the last stone for 2 years but I kept at it. And starred exercise class before I moved and now go to sit fit class on Monday afternoon.
My aims when I moved was to join sit fit class and craft group.

Living in your own is hard especially when you feel ill. I am very independent and hate asking my daughter to do things for me. But it only little things like change my bed once a month and the weekend was put a new battery in my wired in smoke alarm didn't realise it had a battery in it until it beeped and put my garden bench in the garage.

I found the worst after my husband died was making decisions on my own instead of a couple. But after a couple of years found it easy.

Take care everyone.

nadateturbe Wed 18-Oct-23 13:21:29

Candy re B12- my daughter is able to access test results on her GP records online. Perhaps you can. My tests are always OK, in spite of low energy.
Doodle think it's good idea to see doctor about your legs.
Hymnbook don't worry about the house, just take care of yourself. Not nice being alone when you're sick and miserable. Sending a big hug.
Whiff you've done so well and are very encouraging. Although personally my M E. hinders me leading a normal life.

Sorry for brief posts and not answering everyone.. I had an awful night. Dreamt I was having a heart attack, pains and couldn't breathe. Only lasted a very short time. Don't know whether it was real, anxiety or pain from Covid vaccine. Awake most of the night and feel rotten and tired. Sometimes life seems like one step forward, two steps back.
No art today. Still in pj's. Moan over 🙂

Whiff Wed 18-Oct-23 15:07:25

nadateturbe I tire easily. Some mornings have a nap after my breakfast even though I sleep all night apart from loo visits. But it's all part of HPX. At least I know what my body has done and does do is normal for HPX. And not me being weird😂.

People don't understand ME /CFS they just think it's your tired but it's deeper and has knock on effect on the rest of your physical and mental health.

Remember the bad old days when it was called yuppie flu.

If you are like me you have to find ways to do things but your way in your own time.

Dreams like that must be awful . When I have had bad dreams I have had to leave my bedside light on so I can get back to sleep.

Hope you feel bit better tomorrow.

nadateturbe Wed 18-Oct-23 17:10:03

Whiff, thank you. It's annoying to be thought of as weird. I get that too. You just learn to accept it, well almost. But M.E. is nothing compared to your condition. The dream really disturbed me. Definitely a light on time. Husband asked why I didn't waken him, but what's the point in ruining his sleep.
Isn't life fun sometimes?!😏

Whiff Wed 18-Oct-23 18:56:12

nadateturbe every condition is unique . Even people with the same condition they all have their differences. Please don't say yours is nothing compared to mine. I never think I am worse than anyone else . To be honest all my life going to different hospitals I always thought the people I met where worse than me. But I do know now I was worse than them.
But I only thought that way since last year when I had my diagnosis.

You should have woke your husband as he would have cuddled you back to sleep. My husband always held me when I had been jerking in my sleep. I wasn't the one who woke up. But he woke me to check I was ok. He said he should have a suit of armour instead of PJ's . He was cheeky.

Sweetpeasue Wed 18-Oct-23 19:23:08

Hymnbook I'm so sorry that you're going through such a bad time. Having health problems and tests, then getting covid on top of it, its no wonder you're feeling so awful. Please dont worry about the state of your flat, that can be sorted when you're feeling better. I hope you start to feel better soon then you can get your other things on track. Just be kind to yourself and get plenty of rest. I know anxiety about health can bring you down. Try to eat nourishing things and stay hydrated and I hope this covid passes soon.
WhiffSounds like you understand the HPX and how to manage it very well. It must have been such a relief to put a name to your condition after so long and, as you say, not be thought of as weird. I totally get that people will sympathise with an illness with a name/label attatched. The three things you wanted to do, you did all by yourself and so successfully. Losing all that weight is incredible achievment. Btw I saw your recipe for the healthy soup with veg and lentils and tried it-it was delicious.
Nadateturbe What an awful night and dream. I'm familiar with dreams like that where you can actually experience pain in the dream. You must have been v scared to go back to sleep in case you fell into it again. I can start where I left off dreaming, after going to the loo and getting back to bed. You must be exhausted as you were already feeling tired before that.' One step fwd and 2 back' - - think we know that feeling. Hope you have a dreamless good sleep tonight.
HVDY My PM appt Nov 30th. I think yours will be coming up soon this month for the vasculitis - - was it with Rheumatologist? Hope he can do something for your leg pain. The cake I had was a caramel brownie. Really good. I did have a healthy egg sandwich before it.
Candy I hope you've not had a full on day today after being so tired. Perhaps you need to do a little less though I know you feel better when you are gairly busy. Might be good idea to have the B12 and thyroid/iron test.

Had bad bladder pain this morning so needed painkillers again though getting to expect it mornings now. Got over that and was able to go to my book group and then for an appt at Back clinic. He seemed good Dr and very experienced and knowledgeable and gave me plenty of time. As I expected, passed on to physio for a time. I'd taken a report from a back specialist Id seen privately (after op went wrong) so he understood what disks were damaged. He explained MRIs not usually done now unless its a preliminary for operation/injection.

Hoping everyone has had a reasonable day. x

Scaredycat Wed 18-Oct-23 19:29:35

SweetPeaSue- So pleased you were well enough yesterday to get to the beach- it must have raised your spirits to see the sea again. I think I can draw because my Mum used to spend ages drawing with me and teaching me what her Art teacher had taught her. My Son is a very good Artist .
Coffee and Cake is always good isn’t it - had that this afternoon at my Stepsons. My DiL had made a Vic Sponge.
Glad you feel like knitting too- all sounding positive
Doodle- I too think you need to see the Doc about your legs- I,m sorry that you are struggling with your walking now.
I think sometimes too much fruit or veg can upset your tum but I love both don’t you.
So nice to be with your Son- I miss mine so much.
My GD is feeling better thank you. She had one day in Hospital
and they think the Covid triggered Asthma so has an inhaler at the moment.
Candy- Glad your MiL has lots of family close by - it takes the pressure off you as you have such a busy life.
Yes a check on your B12 levels is a good idea- I hope you feel less tired today.
HVDY- Thank you GD feeling bit better- she didn’t have the last Covid Jab because of her blood clot history. It seems the Covid has triggered asthma- she really doesn’t need that. But she deals with all that is thrown at her.
Jaffa cake Choc sponge sounds so yummy.
Hymnbook- oh dear so sorry you have the dreaded Covid. If you are already unwell you must be exhausted. Don’t worry about mess just see after yourself and try to eat well. It’s hard for you when you are alone- hope you start to improve soon.
Whiff- I so admire your determination to get your life sorted and do the things that would make it better. The North West is a great area to live in . Your independence shines through and I,m sure when you need help your daughter is only too happy to be there for you. She lives close doesn’t she?
My friend who lost her husband last year is finding decisions almost impossible but it doesn’t happen overnight does it.
Nadateturbe- what a horrible dream - it must have upset you a lot. Sometimes dreams like that stay in your head all the next day.
Not long ago I turned up for lunch with my friends a day early- I felt such a twit as I,d booked it😩😩
Yes Life is challenging to say the least.
Wyllow- thinking of you and wishing you a peaceful night.

HowVeryDareYou2 Wed 18-Oct-23 20:27:46

Hymnbook Hope you won't feel unwell for long. Drink plenty. I had Covid 2 years ago, was in a medically-induced coma for 2 weeks, during which time I had a stroke. I'm glad to say that this particular strain of Covid isn't life-threatening/fatal these days, but nevertheless, it's not nice when you don't feel well and you're alone with it. Try to eat little and often, if you can. You an catch up with housework when you feel better. Hope you improve over the next couple of days.

Whiff I admire the way in which you cope with things. You've been through such a lot, but keep going.

nadateturbe Nightmares are horrible, aren't they? I hope you sleep better tonight. I don't look at anything upsetting on tv in the evening, because I'd dream about it.

SweetpeaSue I'm glad the pain settled down enough for you to go to your book club. What books do you enjoy reading? My appointment is tomorrow (4.45, so during rush hour traffic), with the Neurologist. I saw him in April and he prescribed Prednisolone, which didn't help (in fact, made things worse), so I don't know what to expect, but I won't take that again. Have you been given exercises for your back? How's the rash after using the Sudocrem?

ScaredyCat I hope your GD gets some relief from using the inhaler. I was diagnosed with Asthma at the age of 36, but only need to use an inhaler occasionally, when I get a cold.

Visited my SIL (still bed-blocking in hospital, although there's nothing medically wrong with her), and she was in a wheelchair outside, with her 2 sisters, all 3 of them smoking. My brother was annoyed when he knew, as SIL hasn't had a cigarette since early August but now has got the craving for it. She was fairly lucid, although doesn't seem to realise she's in hospital - she thinks she's in her own house, with carers going there. In her case, it's just as well she doesn't know.

Hope ALL BDers have a relaxing evening x

nadateturbe Wed 18-Oct-23 20:43:40

Your husband sounds so caring Whiff* 💐.
My husband spends so much time looking after us that I hate him to lose his sleep.

Ellie Anne Wed 18-Oct-23 20:58:25

Sorry I have not been posting but everything is getting too much for me just now. I just want to hide away and not be hurt or worried any more. Sorry so many are struggling too.

nadateturbe Wed 18-Oct-23 21:07:34

Scaredycat what a nice post to Whiff. All so true, she has achieved so much. I'm glad your GD is feeling better. Those times with your mother drawing sound so enjoyable, she sounds like a lovely person.
Glad I'm not the only one who gets appointments wrong!

Doodle Wed 18-Oct-23 21:12:42

Hi Candy. It’s lucky your MIl has lots of family living locally. Makes it easier to keep her company. I was lucky in that my brother ans SIL lived very close to my mum so spent a lot of time with her. I lived further away so could only go at weekends. What is B&M ? Not sure we have that here.
Knitting for me certainly isn’t like riding a bike. I was absolutely hopeless at that. You’ve seen these people wobbling from side to side, that’s me 🤣
It is worrying when you don’t have the energy you need to get you through the day, I feel the same. Not so much that I fall asleep just that I can’t do things without feeling so exhausted I have to stop. Must go and get check up.
HVDY I didn’t know that about the jabs. Hope I get a Pfizer one.
It’s better to turn up a week early for an appointment than a week late. I did that once at my hairdresser. So embarrassing.
Yes I always sit with my feet up on a stool. I don’t feel comfortable with them down.
How’s your back been today? Is it ok now. I bet thé baby will love the Christmas lights. I saw a lovely little one today. Full of giggles and smiles. Wish I could have given her a cuddle.
Oh Hymnbook I’m so sorry you’ve got Covid. Are you feeling really poorly? Don’t worry about your flat. When you’ve got no energy and you feel I’ll just concentrate on resting and looking after yourself till you start to feel better. My neighbour has just had it and she felt rough for a few days then started to feel better. Do you have anyone who can get some shopping for you or can you do it online? Hope you feel better soon.
Whiff it was my neighbours first time for having Covid too. I did a Covid test today just to make sure it’s not that which is making me feel tired.
I think the sit fit class is a good idea. Keep you supple and mobile. If I ever get to the point of being able to move better I must do something. You have done well to take such good care of yourself. Have your PIP payments started coming through yet? Hope so, you waited long enough.
Where is your recipe for the soup that Sweetpeasue mentioned please?
nadateturbe I know it’s not right I’m so tired in my legs. I think my heart rate might be slow. Not sure if that affects them or not.
So sorry you had such a bad night. That must have been frightening. Hope you have a better night tonight.
My DH had ME years ago, I think I’ve mentioned before. Recently his brother has been suffering from PVF and he said to him, for the first time I can understand a bit of what you went through. Unless you’ve had it yourself or know someone really well who’s had it, you have no idea how bad it is.
Sweetpeasue sorry you’re experiencing the bladder pain in the mornings. Good you managed book club today and seem to have found a good back person.
Scaredycat not sure about the fruit and veg. Tummy dodgy again today and I just had plain chicken and chips. I wonder if I’ve got a short term bug or something. Normally my tum is pretty stable. Nice you had a visit with your stepson. I love a victoria sandwich. Strange really as I hated it as a child but now I like the flavour particularly if it has some vanilla in the sponge.
So pleased your GD is home. Hope she’s taking time to recover and is careful with the Asthma. Must have been quite unpleasant for her. Hope the inhaler helps.
Wyllow thinking of you and wishing you well. x

Doodle Wed 18-Oct-23 21:14:53

Oh Ellie Anne I’ve just seen your post. You sound so sad and unhappy. You don’t have to post a lot just tell us you’re around. We do carry and we worry about you. You are included in my prayers and I hope some happiness comes your way soon.
Sending a hug. x

Sweetpeasue Wed 18-Oct-23 21:51:35

EllieAnne So sorry you're still having a hard time. I know that you have been hurt by something said but had hoped it would be sorted. It can be very hard when you feel so hurt. Is it possible to bring it up? Sorry if that's not possible. Only you will know if that's a good thing or not. You must feel very alone. I really hope you this will feel better with time. Sending you a big hug EllieAnne. x
HVDY So hope you get some help tomorrow. It was dreadful having to take all the Prednisolone and not having any help with the bad consequences. Good luck for tomorrow. 🍀 Wasnt given any excercises but expect some from physio when I get an appt. Still putting sudacrem on lesions but am hoping they will eventually disappear.
Doodle Do get that check-up. I know you have had so many med appts that you might feel - oh not another, but the tiredness might be explainable. Sorry, can't remember if you've had iron in blood checked.
Although I'm knitting I'm very much frustrated with so much I cant do. I'm looking stuff up on UTube but still not sure as they can contradict each other. Its not a relaxing hobby at present.
I didnt find Dr at back clinic. Was referred to NHS back clinic by GP.
Hope your DH is ok lately.
Wyllow Thinking of you always. Sending you a hug for tonight. X

Hope all have a restful night.

Wyllow3 Wed 18-Oct-23 22:36:23

Thinking of you all back xx BD's.

nadateturbe Wed 18-Oct-23 22:38:32

Scaredycat just realised that your dear GD couldn't have the booster because of blood clot history. Poor girl, she has such a lot to cope with. I'm glad she's a little better.

Sweetpeasue thank you. It really helps when someone understands and empathise with you (about bad dreams).
I'm sorry you had more pain this morning but it was good you made it to the book group.
I hope the physio helps. Did you want an MRI? (Sorry, I'm sure you've explained and I've forgotten).
What are you knitting? I too made a steak casserole, I do it slowly in the oven and freeze half for another day. I add red wine, delicious.

Doodle Glad things went well for your husband at the hospital. I wonder what is wrong with your legs. Are you still doing the steps? I think you really do need a check up. Your stomach may well just settle after a few days. Sometimes that happens to me, I can't think what upset it, I just eat small bland meals for a few days and it settles.
Knitting a hat and scarf sounds nice, what colour were you thinking of? I think you would have to do it in short stints, or risk hurting your hand.

HVDY Sunday wasn't a special anniversary or anything, it was special because we rarely get to do anything. Our recent ferry trip was like a holiday to us😁.
I too would like to know where your soup recipe is.
I was shocked to hear of what happened to you with Covid. Goodness! . No one would realise when you talk about your daily life that you had a stroke two years ago. You have done so well.
I too don't watch anything unpleasant in the evening.

Candy Glad you enjoyed your caravan trip. It was thoughtful to take MiL with you.
Don't forget to get bloods checked. It's frustrating to keep feeling tired and not know why.
EllieAnne I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. Is there anything you can think of to do that will help?

nadateturbe Wed 18-Oct-23 22:48:25

I have read everyone's posts, apologies to anyone I haven't answered.
Wyllow3 sending love.
Hoping you all have a peaceful night.

Doodle I meant to say, you were talking about your BiL having PVF and understanding M E. more. The same thing seems to have happened with long covid, which is also very similar.

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