Doodle I had the PIP back pay few weeks ago . It was back dated until 7th March 2022 so was very shocked how much it was. It included the cost of living for last year and this .
Treated myself to a new waterproof winter coat most expensive piece of clothing I have ever brought would have paid full price but they had an offer on at Seasalt £40 off if you spend £150. The coat I wanted was £160 so had it for £120. Brought 2 dehumidifiers as had problems with condensation in my 2 bedrooms . Had an Aldi which I brought 2 years ago it was great on laundry setting but rubbish on dehumidifier setting. But it was less than £50 for 20l one. Already had little Pro Breeze one so brought 2 X 20l ones they are brilliant. Splashed on a winter felt hat from Peacocks for £10. As my mom would say spending money like a woman with no arms 😁.
Had my first 4 weekly payment last week because the tribunal which is a court awarded me enhanced for living and mobility indefinitely they can't take it off me when I get my state pension next year. It's mine for life. Plus because of my savings got universal credit since March this year . Had a health assessment after a friend filled in the questionnaire for me . This was few weeks ago and I though it just meant my UC would go up by £20 which took it up to £390+ few pennies but it wasn't until I looked at my journal realised it was on top of the UC which is means tested . But the unable to work payment isn't. I checked with them yesterday as every 8 th of the month have to let them know how much in my savings account and current account. PIP payment is not counted as income.
UC will stop once I get my state pension but because of having it I will get pension credit.
I had letter from DWP on Monday said I was entitled to warm home discount £150.this year. Had email from Eon Tuesday to say it had been credited to my account.
After fighting for 35 years for disability payments and been very worried about money for last 2 years. I don't have to worry anymore. But I wasn't brought up with parents who earned a lot. I will still be careful with my money. But my brother and I were rich in love and attention.
My husband's mom didn't work once married and my father in law was the manager of a large factory. And they where rich but while they looked after my husband . They didn't give him love and attention.
The day he died his mom came to say goodbye he was unconscious and for the first time said she loved him. After he died she denied she had a son or 2 grandchildren. But I still looked after her even though I hated her from 1975 until she died in 2015 aged 91. She out lived my husband by 11 years.
I was brought up with a loving extended family. My mom had very strong sense of family . I hated my in laws they were horrible people not only to their son but my family as well. In my father in law's eyes the only thing we did right was have the children he adored them but he died in 1988 just before I ended up in hospital for 3 weeks. My mother in law took against her own granddaughter from a baby but was all our son until he got his own personality.
One thing about my in laws at least they where vile to our face. My father in law told me I was defective. Don't think they ever though we would get married . My husband loved his parents but didn't like them but he never gave up on them. If they kicked off when we were there we walked out ..Once married we went every Sunday if they kicked off we walked out . But we went back the next week . Because my husband loved them .
This shows you the man he was . He got all the love and attention he needed from my family . My mom had breast cancer mastectomy and lymph nodes removed in 2000 aged 73 . . My husband had his biopsy 27th December 2000. We knew in January 2001 he wouldn't live 5 years he lived 3. My mom could never understand why she lived and he died. Both my dad and me explained about the different cancer and grade but mom never came to terms with it . This was how much my parents loved my husband. Dad died 3 years later . Mom got breast cancer again aged 86 we just thought she would have palliative care but because mom was fit for her age she had a mastectomy and lymph nodes removed plus 15 radiotherapy treatments. She couldn't face chemo as she saw what it did to my husband.
Mom had already been to my daughter's wedding and danced until 1.30 am . The while waiting for the taxi sang the Bill Shankly song with a load of Scousers . She was sobber . She got to see my son and daughter in law get married and danced until 10.30 as this was 4 years after my daughter's marriage. She saw my brother get married for the 3rd and said finally someone who deserves him. She saw her first great grandson and held him . Mom lived with me the last 18 months of her life . She had grade 3 cancer and dementia . It was the dementia why I had her to live with me . As being call out all hours of the night and day with both mom's had taken its toll on me . So mom agreed to live with me but made us promise not to sell her house until she died. Unfortunately the dementia killed my mom long before her body died. Dementia violence isn't abuse as someone said on another thread but it's fear . Mom didn't know who she was ,where or who I was she thought I was her mom . Mom's last 4 months where hell on earth . But it wasn't my mom attacking me as neither of my parents laid a hand on me my whole life . Dementia is a living death. But I couldn't put mom into a home as I knew I could look after her better. I am proud when she became bedridden she never had a sore on her body I made sure of it. It was a relief when she died . As mom would have hated what she became. She was 90 .
Mine you this is the sort of man my husband was . I said you had better have your hair cut before chemo. He said I am not wasting £7 when my hair is going to fall out. Those who have had cancer or loved one who has will know there is a very long list of side effects. The 2 my husband didn't want where the only ones he had . He loved his food but was always slim . He lost his sense of taste and became impotent. I well remember him him crying in my arms saying I am dieing and can't make love to you. He was given 4 months to 2 years when he became terminal. But we knew he only had months . He wanted to get to his 47th birthday which was February we got him there he died 4 days later . Just under the 4 months he was given. He had 6 tumours and couldn't breath on full oxygen I had to tell him to stop fighting he died few minutes later.
I haven't told you this for me . But to show you what a wonderful man he was despite how he's parents treated him .
He always knew from our first date I had pain in my legs and fell all my life. But he wanted me. I was very lucky we started courting when I was 16 he was 18. Our life together wasn't all sweetness and roses . We both had tempers and where stubborn the children followed us. But we never argued about important things.
He was a bugger though. If he went into work looking tired he would tell them I had demanded his body at 2am so I could get to sleep. This was the pre cancer years. I knew all the people he worked with.
Because of him and he was very wise he knew what I needed to live without him and it was a series of promises. Which I have kept. But couldn't live the life I wanted until I moved here in 2019. I live my life to the full. My daughter lives 10 mins away . My estranged son 40.
My husband was and still is the love of my life . Because of him I can do what I do. But not a day goes by I don't miss him . But I was lucky to have been so loved and loved in return . 29 years and married 22. Grief like love never dies . But my grief gets worse as the years go by as he has missed so much. Our daughter was 20 and 16 when he died . They are 40 and 36 now and we have 5 grandson's . I only see the 2 . But I have talked about what my son did before 3 years ago. His choice not mine.
I know this is a disjointed ramble but it's how my mind works . But I know others with HPX are the same.
All here are an inspiration to others with mental and physical health problems. I have said before none of you realise how strong you are . You have made this a safe haven for more you will ever know. People who can't post but read your posts and no longer feel alone.
You made me welcome when I thought my first post was trivial. None of you see yourselves as I do. Your courage facing all your problems shines through. Never belittle yourselves or think others stuffer more than you . Because what you are going through is unique to you so don't compare yourself to others.
I never say what I don't mean as I forget so I don't lie. So believe what I say.
Keep fighting everyday like you do. And life the best life you can with any limitations you have. ❤️
Good Morning Monday 20th April 2026
