Son’s girlfriend diagnosed with BPD

Hmm. Are you sure that he wrote it?

Did your son really send the text or did his girlfriend get hold of his phone?

Yes, Grandabatty, that was first thought too.

I assumed he wrote it..but it’s so out of character.

Then don't assume. Phone him and discuss it. Just listen to what he says and tell him that it's given you food for thought and you'll consider his views. If it was him.

We had some very strange texts from my son's phone - turned out they were actually from his wife (now ex-wife thank goodness)

Yes, you need to speak to him. From what you have said I don’t think he sent the text. I’m rather shocked that his girlfriend didn’t tell you that he was in hospital - that’s a red flag.

It sounds like your son's girlfriend is sending you these very unpleasant texts . If she is sending them - then he has to do something about it .
You haven't said which type of BPD .
Sadly , I notice this Cuckoo mentality is quite frequent .
I hope that the situation resolves happily for all of you .

Unbelievable that she didn't let you know you our son was in hospital. Her BPD is likely to cause all sorts of problems. Speak to your son - God luck.

I agree with grandmabatty

Whilst appendicitis is painful, it’s usually a relatively straightforward op, I’m surprised your son didn’t text you soon after his op? A week is a long time.

If this was my son and he had just had an operation, I would go and visit him and see if there was anything I could do to help. That is what a good mum does. You could then hear it from the horses mouth and know what is going on.

You do need to know that it is him that is texting you and not her.

Maybe the girlfriend told him that she had informed his mother of his illness Jax. We don’t know how far away the OP lives RS, and whether she is able to travel. Don’t imply that she isn’t a good mum without knowing her circumstances.

Surely you can contact your son to see how he is and ask him the reason for the text.

Do they live together? Surely you could give your son a ring to ask how he is?

My daughter has BPD, she’s 23. It’s an awful mental health condition and she’s had “issues” with it since she was 14, finally getting a diagnosis, medication and referral for DBT.

“ Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a disorder of mood and how a person interacts with others. It's the most commonly recognised personality disorder.

In general, someone with a personality disorder will differ significantly from an average person in terms of how he or she thinks, perceives, feels or relates to others.

Symptoms of borderline personality disorder (BPD)

The symptoms of BPD can be grouped into 4 main areas:

emotional instability – the psychological term for this is affective dysregulation
disturbed patterns of thinking or perception – cognitive distortions or perceptual distortions
impulsive behaviour
intense but unstable relationships with others”

It doesn’t make people “horrible” or “controlling” nor has my daughter ever tried to come between her partner of 3 years and her family.

It is a very difficult and serious mental health issue.

Esmay

It sounds like your son's girlfriend is sending you these very unpleasant texts . If she is sending them - then he has to do something about it .
You haven't said which type of BPD .
Sadly , I notice this Cuckoo mentality is quite frequent .
I hope that the situation resolves happily for all of you .

What do you mean what type of BPD?? Borderline Personality Disorder is one of many Personality Disorders.

Borderline, bipolar?

Anyway, your son chooses to be with her, given her diagnosis

He could have messaged you a day or two after the operation, assuming the operation and recovery went well.

Cossy -
There are several types of Borderline Personality Disorder .
The classifications are complex .

Don't imply that she isn't a good mum without knowing her circumstances I agree GSM.

Esmay

Cossy -
There are several types of Borderline Personality Disorder .
The classifications are complex .

Thanks, I stand corrected. I was with my daughter and her psychiatrist, that’s not quite how described it. He stated there were many types of Personality Disorder of which BPD is one.

RunaroundSue

If this was my son and he had just had an operation, I would go and visit him and see if there was anything I could do to help. That is what a good mum does. You could then hear it from the horses mouth and know what is going on.

You do need to know that it is him that is texting you and not her.

Hmmm! We don't know the OPs circumstances; whether visiting is even feasible. There are many ways of being a "good mum" and it isn't measured by visiting/not visiting!

I would try to speak to your son. Whichever type of BPD she has, he is going to need your support in the future if he stays with her.. it could be a very rocky ride..

RunaroundSue

If this was my son and he had just had an operation, I would go and visit him and see if there was anything I could do to help. That is what a good mum does. You could then hear it from the horses mouth and know what is going on.

You do need to know that it is him that is texting you and not her.

Get you, 'mother of the year' 🙄.....Harsh and judgemental post....I live thousands of miles from my son....maybe op does too ....or too far away to just 'pop in'