Black Dog 22

Doodle Glad to hear you've had a reasonable day . You are trying so hard to be with others. I bet the other grandma had a lovely afternoon with you. The Lodge is 2hrs travel. DH is able to share driving. We have only booked 2 nights, they're staying 4nghts.
We've had 2 Vascular appts cancelled. 6th August meant to be phone appt. He got notice the day before to say it was cancelled and given 16th Sept. DH phoned secretary, told symptoms, and she got him one for 20th August. That was cancelled too so DH phoned sec again who was apologetic but couldn't get him in earlier than 17th September. So that's where we are. Tried looking at private Vascular surgeon but he's no appts till November. So that's where we are.
Hope you can sleep tonight. I know you must feel worse at this time when you're back home alone. Thinking of you and so good of you to care . Sending a hug right back for you too. X

Thank you all for reassurance you are in there with me. Much needed

Snap Scaredycat I was at the dentist this morning too, hope your went OK, mine was an hour but she is so nice. (And NHS).

And you are right about the weather it was a lot easier today.

Yes I badly need to get people in especially the garden.

I find it difficult to have people doing things when I need an afternoon sleep - but also just gets lost in whats the point but I know it would be better if it was done, and I can afford it.

Hoping that if the carer works out I’ll get up some oomph for that. I haven’t had a carer yet Sweetpeasue, it’s an agency that MH contacted and am waiting.

I’m glad the Rheumatologist gave you an hour. You got some advice on the steroids.
But I’m really so sorry that the wait for the vascular specialist is so far ahead. If its really bad you will go to A and E?

I can understand you reservations about the lodge, but maybe you can leave it to the last day to decide, and make the decision then, not now?

I’m glad you have the friends around you Doodle. It cant make everything all right but better than aloneness all the time at home.

Warm waves, Hairspray.

You must’ve got stiff sitting for 4 hours in the coach, HVDY. I really feel for you with the pain, well done for enjoying the cream tea and mooch.

Worker tomorrow - they are under so much pressure I'm concerned about fiture support now palmed off on an untrained carer MH wise.

Hugs for BD's not in today or just reading
Night, all. xx

SweetpeaSue Having appointments cancelled like that and put off for so long isn't right. Unfortunately, it seems to happen a lot these days. I hope you and your DH have been ok today.

Wyllow3 Did you manage to get out today? How long does your MH worker stay with you on Thursdays?

How's everyone else been today? It was the day centre, and the weather has been cool here. It's been raining for the last 2 hours. Hope everyone is ok x

Wyllow Sorry, previous post , I meant the MH worker that sees you not carer. I hope you managed to get out with her today though it was raining here all morning. Talked to DH today about A&E and going there. We've
had a lot of experience of A&E last few yrs and the problem is it's the last place you want to be when you're so unwell so I knew he'd be reluctant to go through that. Just gently sowing seeds. Yes I could leave lodge decision till last minute.
HVDY Oh dear the journey was 4hrs because of pick ups. No wonder you were feeling stiff and painful. I'm glad you managed to look around museum and shops when you got there. Hope you've not been too bad today and the day centre improved on that sad salad.
The Rheumatologist who we saw on the 2nd of July wrote to the Vascular team about DHs Subclavian Steal Syndrome after seeing him then.

Hope everyone's day has been OK.
We had little dog today and took her for a small walk. She's really sweet and lovable and it was soothing to stroke her. She's just had a hair cut so felt soft and looked like a little shorn lamb.
DH no better and I can't think what to do apart from A&E but would need DH to agree. Not sure if they'd do v much anyway. If DH gets chest pain we'd be there like a shot.
Another 'dog day' tomorrow and DH wants to construct she'd. Well see.

Hoping everyone is OK.

Shed-- predictive text!

hairspray take your time. No rush. We are here to support you whenever.
HVDY glad you had a nice trip. Yes I don’t like the really hot weather.
I don’t think I could cope with a four hour coach trip especially if it was warm. Glad you enjoyed your day though

Sweetpeasue how frustrating for you. All these cancelled appointments. With the way things are going would it be an idea to book a private appointment. Ask to be told if there’s a cancellation just in case your NHS appointment gets cancelled again at least you’d have one to fall back on. What about asking you GP if there’s a different vascular surgeon who does private work. So sorry you are going through this anxious time.
Being alone at home isn’t too bad. When I’m out and busy it keeps my mind occupied but I get so tired sometimes I need to be home. To be honest the sadness can come over me at anytime it’s the thought of not being with my lovely man again that hurts so much. I’ve had a busy day today out and about a lot, Just so tired now. Hopefully I’ll sleep tonight,
Wyllow glad you got on ok at the dentist. Mine was a woman too I think they make better dentists as their hands are smaller.
Hope things go well with your worker tomorrow.
HVDY hope you had a good time and a nice meal at the day centre.
Sweetpeasue is it wise for your DH to be doing strenuous work at the moment before he’s been seen by vascular team?
I realise you can’t force someone to do something but it might be an idea to wait until he’s been seen. Sending you a hug. I

Doodle I so appreciate your concern for us all. You have always spoken of your dear husband with so much love. It really sounds as if you were made for each other. The tiredness must be quite bad and with all that you're going through emotionally plus your pacemaker , trying to deal with such an enormous loss and change in your life , it must be a huge effort for you to keep going. I too hope you sleep and have a peaceful night.
I've looked up private Vascular surgeon's around us and wider area and only one I could find didn't have appt vacancy until November. This must be the result of so many in the same boat. We're already on list for any cancellations and at short notice.
Thankyou so much for your hug( I never take them for granted) 🙂
Not at all wise (hmm DH) I'm on his case
and I keep an eye. If he comes over blank looking and gets head pain I make him take aspirin and he'll stop. He's looked after me these last recent awful yrs , now my turn to look after him.
Thanks Doodle, night God bless.

Caught up, saw worker today, wish I could every week, (she's monthly, another one is monthly too, so I see a worker for an hour once a fortnight)

Walked it was gloomy tho not rain. It's just an hour. She's the only one I actually feel "gets me". and I can say, "whats the point" and it's OK. She says you will get better I don't believe her atm. But I won't lose them even tho I am trying the carer next week as well.

Sweetpeasue you are caring well for DH, well done you helping him to try and get the balance between doing and resting right.

You speak so poignantly of DH Doodle it really comes across, xx hope you sleep.

I hope it was good at the day centre HVDY and the pain not too bad.

Hugs sent out - you are right Sweetpeasue we need them. 🙂

Night night BD's posting or just reading today.

SweetpeaSue That little dog sounds so cute. I agree with Doodle, it probably isn't wise for your DH to be doing a lot of physical work. I hope you'll be able to persuade him to rest a bit.

Doodle I can't pretend to know how you must feel, but you loved your husband so much, were happily married for such a long time, and looked after him so well. You're bound to miss him terribly. Selfishly, I dread ever being in the same position. I don't think I'd cope as well as you are doing. I hope you have some company today.

Wyllow3 One hour, once a fortnight isn't enough but I'm glad you feel so at ease with the lady you saw yesterday. Does she work for an agency?

It's a sunny start to the day. Musculoskeletal clinic this morning, then picking up GD1 afterwards, going for lunch, then having ChubbyChops for a few hours (GD1 will enjoy entertaining her). Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day x

SweetPeaSue- it’s so wrong for your DH to be messed about so much- there seems to be no urgency on anyone’s part. But you are such an observant and vigilant person he is in very safe hands and I,m sure would listen to you sensibly if you were not happy.
It might be nice for you both to have a couple of days away and DH won’t be tempted by any jobs for a little while - good tha5 you can leave it to the last minute.
I agree with others that he should be a little careful before he has his appointment with the Vascular people.
Enjoy your dog day - he sounds lovely.
Wyllow- I glad you have someone you feel comfortable with and are able to be yourself. It’s just not enough though.
It’s almost like you are afraid to believe you,ll get better as you,ve been hurt so much that you expect the worst.
It’s so good to see you post more and there are glimmers of the old you coming through. You will get better- we’re right there with you.
HVDY- oh that was a long old coach journey,but glad you had a nice day. The Cotswolds are very pretty aren’t they but almost too perfect. Cream teas always go down well - are you cream or jam first?
Hope the Day Centre was more enjoyable this week- no boring salad.
Hope all was well at the Clinic and that you are having a lovely time with the 2 girls. Chubby Chops will be enjoying the attention and you will be listening to her giggling I bet.
Doodle- yes sometimes you just need a rest at home for a while and get off that treadmill of trying to fill each day.
The longing for your DH must come over in waves and catch you at any moment. I feel so sad for you but as each day passes you will gradually get stronger .
How is your little shop coming along? My Sister used to make them when her and her friend had a little craft shop.

I,m taking it easy today . We went to see our friend who has Alzheimer’s and dementia yesterday it took an hour and a half to get there as the traffic was so bad. Physically she looks as beautiful as ever and well but each time mentally she is worse. Her DH is in a home with Alzheimer’s- they have been married for 60 yrs . She is still able to live in her apartment and see after herself but for how long ? It always makes my AF worse to see her- it’s so sad .But a 50 year friendship is precious and to be treasured. I know many of you have similar sad stories of this cruel illness.
EllieAnne,Candy, Nadateturbe, Whiff, Nanny, Hairspray, and all those I have unintentionally left out wishing you as good a weekend as possible.

ScaredyCat* Jam first! Both GDs have just gone - GD1 thoroughly enjoyed being with us and her little cousin, she's excellent with her (and even changed a nappy). Had a nice lunch, went to the park, fed the geese and ducks, and generally had a lovely day.

The Physiotherapist at the Musculoskeletal clinic examined me, asked me lots of questions, has emailed me some simple exercises to do 3 times a week. No aqua, driving or anything that aggravates this labral tear. He expects it to heal in 8 months to a year . Until then to keep as mobile as possible but rest when the pain is very bad, and take Ibufrofen. Hope everyone has been ok today x

Sweetpeasue hope your DH has been ok today.
Yes DH and I were very happy together in our own little bubble really. I suppose all these doctors strikes have meant appointments are backing up. I do hope your DH gets seen soon.
Wyllow glad you had your worker with you and you can talk to her. Hope the carer is also someone you can talk to.
.HVDY I wouldn’t wish this in anyone. Like you I dreaded the thought of losing DH. When it happens you have no choice but to cope really. The sadness is overwhelming but I’m just glad it’s me who’s left not him. I love him so much I couldn’t bear him to suffer this pain. Daft though it sounds this is a consoling thought for me.
How did the clinic go today? Hope it wasn’t too painful.
Have a good time with your DGDs
Scaredycat I agree Sweetpeasue’s husband should be seen. It’s not really good enough is it.
Little shop is coming along very slowly. My friend and I spent most of the afternoon with our fingers glued together 🤣. It’s a slow process but enjoyable.
I’m so sorry for your friend and her husband, Alzheimer’s is such an awful thing to have. You’ve been friends a long time. She must have enjoyed having you visit.
HVDY my goodness that must have been a shock. 8 months to a year. You will obviously have to be very careful what you do. Hope you’re ok. It must have been upsetting to hear how long it will take.
Sending hugs to all those on BD. Have a good weekend.

Been nice to have little dog again this afternoon though DH very exhausted and breathless again. I gave him a telling off after took dog back as we'd a slot booked at the tip to take some more garden rubbish and computer table ect. He insisted trying to take it all at once. I helped ,of course, but been worried to death about him. I wonder if he's trying to do stuff to stop his own worry about it.
Son2 back from work early to support his wife.Theyve enough to worry about.
Didn't take aunt out last Saturday so will take her tomorrow. She's still got a wrist in plaster. I'll need to drive- DH reactions seem so slow when thick head .
Nearly had an argument with man at tip. He was insisting on us moving car right down to last skip when we had heavy stuff to put in first one. He shouted at us and kicked a previous person's rubbish . Not usually brave but I could have punched him! He could see my DH had a splint support on his hand and he's had so much pain with it.
Sweetpeasue grumpy today.

HVDY Glad you have more experienced advice from the musculoskeletal person. It's going to take some time then - your heart must have dropped. Glad you had some fun time.ewogh your DGD and chubby chops. It's lovely when an older child can help and play with younger ones - so lovely to see.
Scaredycat I'm a 'jam first' too. Beginning to think you could be right about the short break away , in that it will divert DH from jobs! Not sure about safe hands with me- I could crown him.
Oh its really so sad about your long standing friend and her illness. You must get very upset indeed to see her like that and it's concerning that your AF gets worse after these visits. I understand your need to keep going . 50 yrs is a long friendship. Take care of yourself.
Doodle Hope today hasn't been too bad for you. What is the model shop made with?
* Wyllow* I'm glad one of your worker 'gets you' and you can tell her how you really feel. You need to be able to talk those feelings out. I hope you can get a carer soon . Please keep believing you will get better . Sending a hug and hope today has been an improvement for your tum.

Love to all BDs not mentioned . EllieAnne- do hope you're OK.

ScaredyCat Alzheimer's (any type of dementia, and there are so many types) is awful for the family and friends of the sufferer of it. Sad, isn't it, to see that person "disappear" over time.

Doodle You're always so kind to everyone. I think you are remarkable really. I'm quite depressed about this hip problem (and in agony since the pulling about by the Physio). When I had the stroke, the consultant there said he hoped I'd walk again but that it would take 6 months - I was so determined not to be in a wheelchair or anything, I used to pull myself up from the toilet (the nurses used to hoist me and leave me there) to a standing position, and I walked after 6 weeks. I can't make any quick progress with this.

SweetpeaSue There are some awkward and inconsiderate people about. I would have felt like throwing something at him. I hope all goes well with your aunt tomorrow. I'm feeling so fed-up with this hip, knowing that it's going to take all that time and I've already had the pain for 3 months. Damned thing.

It'll be a lazy day tomorrow and hen seeing all the family on Sunday for lunch. Hope ALL BDers have a relaxing evening x

HVDY I do feel for you. You are such a courageous person - I'm thinking perhaps Musculoskeletal person underestimates you. It might not take as long as he thinks for you to recover. You don't give up easily and you really showed that after your stroke experience. That was so much more than a stroke because you had the knowledge of their mistakes made with the wrong medication. You are an amazing person, you will get through all this.
Yes I think you would have thrown something at him. 😂
Hope you have a good night's sleep free from bad pain. You have Sunday to look forward to even though tomorrow might be quiet. Take care.

HVDY today’s Musculoskeletal appointment must have been a real shock, 8 months. The driving ban a big shock too, I’m sorry to hear: glad to hear both GD’s had a lovely time. Sounds like a good plan to rest tomorrow then active on Sunday.

That was a long journey Sweetpeasue and so upsetting to see your friend. You are a loyal and dear friend for her. It’s not surprising that it makes your AF worse. Glad to hear you took it easy today. You are a loyal and dear friend for her.

Doodle your consoling thought speaks so much of your love for DH. Very, very moving to read what you write, and your caring on here.

I’m sure you are right Sweetpeasue that DH needs to prove to himself he can still do things. It’s a hard balance to get and I can see that you wish he’d try less!
It makes ordinary things like going to the tip things previously taken for granted much more fraught.

*Scardeycat you write,
“It’s almost like you are afraid to believe you’ll get better as you’ve been hurt so much that you expect the worst.“

Yes - 11 years with my abusive ex, especially the year long ending when he was also mentally very very ill, police….it does haunt me as the love was so intense for a time as well as the gaslighting and denial of love afterwards.

HVDY just to clarify I’m with someone trained/qualified in MH services twice a month, and it's a ?? to see if an untrained but hopefully supportive carer on top of that.

Thoughts with all not in today and hope to see you on soon

Night night BD’s

SweetpeaSue Thanks for the vote of confidence. I'll see how I get on. Hope your day goes well with your aunt and your husband.

Wyllow3 8 months I could manage, but up to a year - . I hope you won't be waiting much longer to get extra help.

It's a pleasant morning, been up 2 hours already. Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day x

Hi all.
HVDY- what a lovely day with the girls. So nice that’s GD1 likes to help with Chubby chops- they will have a life long friendship hopefully.
Oh dear 8 months is a long time for your tear to heal. It’s a balance between resting and moving isn’t it. But you have a fighting spirit so will battle on and work out what you can and can’t do to help you get better and not harm yourself.
It’s a lazy day for me too today so let’s just enjoy it together 😀
Tomorrow we are seeing family for a pub lunch as you are! We can compare puds.🍧🍧
Oh and jam first deffo.
Doodle- you are the most selfless person Doodle - you were and still are the most loving partner to your DH- what you wrote to HVDY was so touching.
When you have finished your shop perhaps you could take a photo to show us.
Yes my friend is always pleased to see us and I try not to think about future visits - we,ll cross those bridges when we come to them. I,m just so grateful we had her and her DH in our lives for so long. Sending a Saturday hug.
SweetPeaSue- I hope you have enjoyed your time with your Aunt - you are so kind to think of her when you have so much on your mind. It’s a lovely day here - hope it is where you live.
That man at the Tip was pushing his luck!!! He was fortunate he didn’t end up in the rubbish. Grumpy ladies are not to be messed with.
I guess your DH just needs to feel he can still do jobs and “man” stuff - it helps keep his confidence. Trouble is they don’t know when to stop sometimes! Take care both of you.
Wyllow- Gaslighting is so cruel and destructive no wonder you feel as you do. You have experienced both sides of love but now you need to love yourself- you are blameless and do not deserve this legacy of pain.
I hope when you get the new carer even if they are not so qualified but a sympathetic and understanding person they will be able to help you realise that you deserve the kindness,love and simple enjoyments that you have missed for so long.
A Saturday hug for you too.
EllieAnne- hope the weekend isn’t too difficult for you.
Nadateturbe- hoping you are improving and thinking of you.
Candy- if you’re at the caravan hope the Sun is shining on you.
Hairspray- hope things are ok this weekend
Love to all. Old and new BDs and visitors

Sweetpeasue did you take aunt out today? Hope your DH didn’t suffer from all he was doing yesterday.
Model shop is a kit mainly wood but plastic paper and all sorts . It’s a kit made by Rolfe. Millions of pieces it will take ages.
HVDY you need to make sure you make gradual progress and don’t set yourself back by doing too much. Sorry it’s so painful and has stopped you enjoying your aqua aerobics etc.
Hope you did have a lazy day today. Enjoy your lunch tomorrow.
Wyllow thank you. I just feel I come across as moaning all the time but it’s hard to make grief upbeat. Some days are better than others. Today was not so good. I had an afternoon planned with friends which was really nice but even the thought of that couldn’t lift my, spirits this morning. I was tempted to say I couldn’t go but glad I went in the end. Trying to keep calm tonight as my eyes are sore and I’ve been through enough today. I can imagine how hard it must be for you to love someone and for the relationship to turn out as it did. Hard to find a good point to build on.
Scaredycat thank you. Yes I will do a photo when I finish the shop but it may well be some time 🤣
Must be sad to see your friend in her current state and worry what the future might bring.
Hope you enjoy your Sunday lunch out. I love puddings. 😊
Sending hugs to Ellie Anne and Candy and nadateturbe
Hairspray how are you doing?

Sending love to everyone. I hope to be back soon. xx

You can't make grief upbeat, Doodle - and there is no need to here x

Have a lovely meal out, Scardeycat

So glad you popped by, nadateturbe

Hoping today went OK, HVDY

Thank you for the understanding in posts above. I did go out for a walk in the park.

Love to the "not in today's" especially if things are very tough.

ScaredyCat I love a pudding (that's why I'm so fat ). Hope you have something delicious.

Wyllow3 Loving someone who then later was so cruel and manipulating must be so hurtful, but you're a strong person. You deserve happiness and peace in your life. Glad you went for a walk.

Doodle You're grieving, you can't be upbeat when you're feeling sad. You can be yourself here.

I stayed in yesterday, and ALL I did was fill the dishwasher and washer. I did the 2 very simple exercises I was given. It was a long day.

nadateturbe Take care. "See" you soon
EllieAnne Hope you manage to see someone to chat with today.
SweetpeaSue, Candy6, Whiff, Hairspray100, and ALL other BDers - hope you're all ok.

Scaredycat Such caring words to Doodle and I know we all feel the same.
HVDY I hope today you're rewarded for your enforced rest.
Wyllow Thankyou ,you understand about DH. Your ex really has knocked your confidence by his manipulative behaviour and I think you are suffering a complicated bereavement. You deserve to be loved.
Doodle No need yo be upbeat here as you have told us all. Love and a warm hug.
Took aunt out but yesterday was rough. I'd not slept previous night as needed as pain in lower tummy and bladder back full force. DH same but just finalising work on roof and not too difficult. He was brighter and seems proud of his work.
Sunny day here. Hope everyone has a reasonable day and love to all. x

nadateturbe hoping you’ll be back with us soon and have a bit more energy.
Wyllow I’m so pleased you get your walks in the park it must do you good even if it’s only for a short while.
HVDY hope you’ve had a better day today although I realise you’re not supposed to do too much. How’s the pain?
Sweetpeasue I’m sure your aunt appreciates you taking her out. Sorry neither of you were feeling too good. Hope you’ve had a rest from work today and had a more relaxing day.
I went to church this morning and then to lunch with some friends. Had a nice time. Quick Waitrose shop on the way home then wash hair and now sitting down with dinner and 🍷
Have a good evening all