Black Dog 23

Wyllow Your son and DIL must get so worried about their disabled DD. I do hope this next operation goes well and is successful in giving her more physical mobility . It's so very sad for all the family.
Do hope today has gone better for you. You do well to come in feeling as you do.
Scaredycat Your visit to that Garden Centre sounds just the thing for your next work. It's lovely that people give so much their time to help others and so much can be gained by crafting and other life skills. Helping people to be less isolated is a great thing to do.
Doodle So sorry for your heartbreaking day. It must be so painful to remember doing these things with your DH and seeing others apparently going about their day as normal. I do hope you're feeling a little better tonight. Wish I knew what to say. Hope you can at least sleep tonight.x
HVDY Hope your Littlegirl is improving and the blisters healing. Such a horrible thing to have and for little ones to have to put up with.
Your meal ingredients sounded great - if cooked well.
EllieAnne Sorry it's one of those days today. Hope you managed to get out yourself after the chores.

Went to Kendal this morning for a wander. So tired and pain so managed to spill a full cup of coffee over table and coat. Came straight back and washed coat n dress. Sat out for a little while and seen squirrels and a rabbit in garden.
Barely being able to function really but many here worse off and I know I'm lucky to be able to get away. Just fining it difficult with body pain.

Love to all here and not personally mentioned. X

I did something really stupid tonight when I was driving. It was dark and got confused with Road works and went the wrong way. It was in a town and I’m really scared that there was probably cameras and I’ll get into trouble. I feel sick and my heart is racing. My car is my escape and without it I would be trapped.

I understand Ellie Anne that panic and fear. If you didn’t cause an accident then I doubt there will be a problem. There’s cameras everywhere but I don’t think they’re routinely monitored all the time only if there is a need to check something.
Also I think it’s unlikely you would be stopped driving. I know it’s pointless to say don’t worry so I’ll just send you a hug and say I think it will all be ok.
Sweetpeasue hope you didn’t burn yourself. What a shame the pain is spoiling your holiday. Hope you sleep well tonight and feel better tomorrow. Kendal is a lovely place.

Sending hugs Sweetpeasue.
Love to everyone xx

I hope you got through that housework Ellie Anne and got out. I feel sure that even if cameras saw you making an error, anyone could make an error like that and I truly beleive you wont be stopped driving.

HVDY glad it was nice at the day centre as you didnt sound too sure at first.

Scaredycat there is a centre just like that locally, brilliant place also with a cafe. I'm glad you had a good time and got the phtotos you wanted.

Doodle hugs for your bad day - memores are so easily triggered arent they..and the world feels full of couples...may you sleep OK and tomorrow be just a little bit better.

Sweetpeasue I'm so sorry it was another pain day. I'm hoping for you that tomorrow is a bit better, hugs for a better day.

A warm wave nice to see you in, nadateturbe

(My GD - 10 years old.they'll have to see how it goes, in the past they've been 24/7 in the hospital but maybe not this time..

She's a happy soul and yes has her own resilience, as she trusts her little world. she likes hospitals! Op is to straighten her legs at the ankles to see if she can walk with a walker... but with learning difficulties and epilepsy and very limited sight..a commitment that will always take a lot of their time.

Today was horrible to get through. As I feel "whats the point" everything is forcing things, but I did my shop then a meds phone (hoping it will be smooth his time re the difficult to get drug)

I wasn't happy with the consultant. She didn't really engage "Feeling wise" - it was about a meds review -one suggestion I'm not sure about - and I got lectures about my one glass of wine and vaping, well it felt like that.
Whats sad is I know how terribly stretched they are, and they have less time and energy for really engaging sympathetically. Felt nothing new can help. How it is.

Night night to all BD's xx

ScaredyCat That little garden centre sounds a very good idea, and so much more personal and friendly than these huge ones that sell everything. What a great idea.

Doodle I expect you notice it so much because you said you went everywhere together. That must make things twice as sad for you.

SweetpeaSue Sorry your day didn't go so well. It must have been nice to see squirrels and rabbits - you're really out in the country, then. Hope today is better for you.

EllieAnne I don't suppose you were the only one to have done that. Try not to worry. Even IF you WERE caught on camera, it doesn't necessarily mean you'll get into trouble, and would be a fine at most anyway. You won't lose your car.

* nadateturbe* How are you getting on?

Wyllow3 Why aren't you sure about the meds suggestion - would it mean a different medication? I suppose these consultants see so many different patients, they aren't emotionally involved with any of them. Each person is just a "job" or number to them. I do hope your granddaughter will benefit from the operation. You never know, it may give her the ability to take even a few steps.

LittleGirl is here today and feeling fine. Apart from a few red marks around her mouth, she looks well. We took her to an indoor soft play place for 90 minutes. She loved it but fell asleep when we got home. I need to wake her for lunch at 1. Hope ALL BDers manage to see some sunshine x

Hi all.
SweetPeaSue- you seem to be dealing as well as possible with the pain that is disrupting your days away. Oh dear having to do washing on Hols!!! Hope the coffee wasn’t too hot. I once went out in a white dress and spilt a whole glass of red wine over it.😩
Your Lakes garden sounds so lovely with lots o& wildlife and I expect beautiful views too. Hope today you,ve been more comfortable and able to enjoy all the area has to offer.
EllieAnne- you probably weren’t the first person to make that mistake and won’t be the last. There might not even have been any cameras. I understand that awful panicky feeling though with the jelly legs and shaking. But no way will you lose your car and be stopped driving. Try not to torture yourself so much.
Wyllow- that Garden Centre sounds like somewhere you would feel ok to visit when you feel stronger. Not too big or overwhelming. They have such a feel good factor seeing people feel good and useful.
What a lot your GD has had to deal with in her young life. I expect Hospitals feel familiar places for her and her good nature sees her through. What a brave little girl and family.
So sorry your day was so difficult.Even so you did your shopping and meds phone. You are trying despite the “what’s the point” thoughts . It’s hard for you to believe there is anything different to help you but each day is a new beginning - maybe try the suggested meds change.
Hang on in there Wyllow- life can be good again.
HVDY- Good news re Little Girl- just about back to her old self. She must have been tired after her first time back at a play centre. Has she got her appetite back or didn’t she lose it?
How are you feeling at the moment?

Doodle,Nadateturbe,Candy,Allsorts,Whiff,AGAA 4,Nanny and all take care of yourselves nd hope today has had some bright moments

ScaredyCat LittleGirl is very well, thanks. Full appetite and energy! Mum & toddler group this afternoon for 90 minutes, then back here before being picked up at 4.30. I'm fine, thanks - tired now though . How has your day been?

Evening all. Sorry not much from me tonight I feel really rough. Had my covid and flu jabs yesterday and had sore throat all night and today and really upset stomach. Had my first counselling session today and although it went well it’s unsettled me a bit.
Wyllow I sympathise. I’ve got a real downer going on at the moment. It’s not so much there not being a point to anything it’s the nothing less of life (if that makes any sense) . I keep telling myself to get a grip but it’s hard to make your brain go where it doesn’t want to, Hope tomorrow is a better day for you.
Your DGD sounds so lovely. It must be hard to see her go through all these things.
Difficult when you don’t engage with the consultant. You need to have confidence and trust with those who are treating you.
HVDY the counsellor said as much today. She didn’t pull her punches so I’m not expecting to feel better anytime soon but I would like to feel a bit less sad,
Little Girl has had a lovely day, can’t believe she’s at toddler group already.
Scaredycat have you been out today? Weather here a mixure of sun and rain. I didn’t go out as I wasn’t feeling well.
Sweetpeasue hope you’ve had a better day and the pain has been ok. Have you been to any of the lakes today?

Hi Doodle HVDY Scaredycat Wyllow3 Whiff Sweetpeasue EllieAnne Candy and hello to anyone else on BD, I am reading and thinking of you all. Have started a post but can only do a little bit at a time (will ask about those specs, think Whiff mentioned them).
Pretty quiet life atm, coping with great lack of energy. Sometimes I get really angry, fed up. So frustrating. But there's no point in being like that. So I try not to.
I hope your evening has been ok.
Love and also hugs to those who need them.xx

Caught up with your days, all.

(I do understand the way you put it, Doodle. Counselling can stir stuff up, you can ask to go try gentle).

thank you for kind and thoughtful words, BD's. Too weary tonight to describe meds stuff. (dressing gown day)

It's always good to come in this - my nightly routine. Hope Sweetpeasue is OK as you usually are in.

Good to hear from BD's old and new, always.

Just in Costa, Ambleside. Thankyou all for kind comments. Pain been quite challenging but not too bad at moment.

Wanted to come in but didn't want to leave anyone out and just not up to it yesterday.
Love to Doodle and hope today is better for you.
Nadateturbe So very hard to rise above your ongoing difficulties and quality of life can be bums sometimes. Hope you find a bit of light today. Last sentence could be for many of you , * Wyllow too. Such a shame about your new consultant - it's so sad when you wait for help and it's so disappointing.

Love to all and can't address all right now.
Back later. Hope your day isn't too bad. Xx

Doodle I hope you feel a bit better today after your jabs.
Counselling often involves revisiting past events and evoking emotions. It's good for some people, not for others. I hope it works out for you.

Nadateturbe It must be very frustrating to be unable to do what you'd like to do. It's hard to accept. I hope today will be brighter for you.

SweetpeaSue It sounds as though you're making the best of your break. Hope the weather is decent.

I'm going to attempt to give Jaffa a sedative (liquid syringed into his mouth) soon and hope that we make it to the vet's later. Hope ALL BDers are ok x

Successfully got Jaffa to the vet - he's got a bit of a respiratory infection, a broken tooth, and isn't microchipped. He's about 3 or 4 years old, apparently. He was a very good boy. Heard him meow for the first time. He's going in a fortnight to be neutered, chipped and to have his teeth sorted out. He's MINE.

Sorry all, feeling really bad tonight, sore throat worse and now stomach upset and nausea too. I feel quite unwell. Be back tomorrow to catch up.

Hvdy I have a friend in exactly the same position as you. She phoned me yesterday to see if I could lend a cat carrier to take a little stray to the vet to check for chip. It’s desperate to get into the house but she wants to find out if it belongs to anyone first.

Oh no!! Can't believe this I've spent 3/4 an hr and tapped wrong place to post and lost whole thing. So many words to you all. So sorry will have to come back later.😢

Doodle So sorry about your bad effects of covid and flu jabs yesterday. You just don't deserve this with all your heartbreak and grief. Wonder if these effects have happened before but could be because you're immune system is so low with everything. Whatever , I hope you feel much better tomorrow. Try and cosy down with sleep and paracetamol and sending you gentle cuddle and love. X
HVDY So pleased for you about Jaffa. Your delight came through clearly in your post. After all your gentle encouragement and not least the sedative of course he's yours welland truly. So glad for you.With him being quite young you will hopefully have him for many yrs yet to love and be loved back.
Wyllow Your disappointment with consultant so very hard when these appts few and far between. Think Dr's forget we are human beings with them seeing so many and not enough time. Still - 1 glass of wine? My DH got a raised eyebrow and the' look' after telling consultant he had a lager or beer on a night - A lager or beer f goodness sake.
Hope today has had a think of light.
So hope your little GD's op gives her more mobility to have some fun in her life. She sounds a lovely little girl and has had to deal with an awful lot. Can understand how awkward it can be to share your own difficulties with your son and DIL. I think they might worry more though if you didn't keep communication open. Keep on Wyllow , we want you find peace and happiness in your life and heal your broken spirit. X
Nadateturbe Oh how you must feel such anger and frustration in your circumstances. I can only imagine how hard it must be. I walked only half a mile from house yesterday and had to turn back. You have had to put up with so much more and over such a long time. If only the anger didn't deplete energy even more!! Which only adds to frustration. Hoping the glasses will help. Don't worry about coming in but so good to see you when you do.

Just posting this now .

EllieAnne Try not to worry about the driving mistake- we've all had them and I'm pretty sure you'll not lose your licence over it, though I do see how worried you are. It's always scary when we make a mistake in the car but don't let it dent your confidence as a driver. Remember those everyone journeys you've done to your DD - I know many of us would be afraid to do that. Don't put yourself down. Hope the church meetings will go better in future.
Scaredycat No I didn't burn myself thanks. Oh red wine on a white dress! Did it ever come out? Yes, it's a lovely area and house in a secluded situation .Saw a large blue Jay this morning. Try and send some photos from yesterday's small sunny time.

Been some really hard times but today much better. Slept late as bad night but had a nice trip to Ambleside and a mooch and found a good book. Went on a tiny walk from cottage yesterday but only got half a mile before having to turn back - just flu like pain starting and no energy. Hard to think of what we used to do. Anyway I realise we are lucky to have each other and to be able to help each other so don't want to sound ungrateful.
Rain here mostly but tomorrow's forecast and Friday supposed to be dry and sunny.
Sending love to all and thinking also of those not mentioned.x

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202410/medium-875794-1000005802.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202410/medium-974757-1000005798.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202410/medium-11749-1000005793.jpg

Just some photos around house and copse at back.

Doodle Poor you. Have a good rest, and hopefully, you'll feel a bit better tomorrow. Take care.

EllieAnne Jaffa had been hanging around for months (I started leaving food out for him in April/May). Hope your friend manages to get the cat to a vet. He might end up living at your friend's, then.

SweetpeaSue The vet visit today was £80, and the one in a fortnight will be about £400, but it's worth it to me, to be able to help an animal. The vet said his broken tooth (a canine one) might have been caused by someone kicking him . The photos of your holiday place look stunning. What beautiful countryside.

Hope ALL BDers have a restful night. x

Such a lot of money vet's charge now HVDY but I know how much Jaffa means to you. Animals can give so much love and I hope Jaffa gives as much to you as dear Mr Cooper.

HVDY , I’m glad Jaffa is yours now, and you’re going to be able to sort him out in a fortnight. Above all, he was Ok going. Poor Jaffa being abused, well done you.

Doodle take good care of yourself and curl up and hope to see you in soon x

A thoughtful friend Ellie Anne to check first.

Sweetpeasue its so frustrating to lose a whole post! Thank you for your kind words. I was so glad to come in and read, “today was better!” I know how frustrating it is to compare with “Before” but half a mile is good going after the 2 days of pain you had, honestly.
Oh - lovely lovely photo views!

I didnt hear from my family at the weekend. I see my worker tomorrow

and they are pushing me hard to do more different things as its “good for me” and had an email today which made me feel scared they will won’t see me/withdraw support if I don’t go along with them.

Like going to the library or a costa with them for a coffee instead of just walk and talk in the park which we have been doing. Sound so simple, dont they? But I’m in a space where they dont mean anything and the walking is good for me. Maybe the coffee.

SweetpeaSue I feel very strongly that when a person has a pet, they have it for the rest of the animal's life. Mr Cooper was, and always will be, my favourite, but Jaffa is a close 2nd . You did well to walk 1/2 a mile despite not feeling great. That's a lot to me.

Wyllow3 I expect the MH team are keen for you to get out into society more, to get you used to being amongst people again. That probably sounds scary now, but you can do it. They are steps to the "old" Wyllow3. I doubt they'd withdraw the support if you can't do those things, but it would be good for you to try.

An early start, ready for LittleGirl coming at 7.30. A new playgroup this morning (DH is discovering those delights and embracing them). Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day x