Transitioning loved one

Treading on eggshells comes to mind Luckygirl.

BlueBelle

We weren’t talking about men we were talking about transitioning folks weren’t we Galaxy ?

Well you answered grannygranby on this thread
You could have chosen to pm or ignore
Anyway, it is a point of view connected to the subject matter.

it has been shown especially in the US that it is better to transition and pretend you are in a heterosexual relationship that be in a homosexual one. It is what is driving gender ideology there. Homophobia.

BlueBelle

Very unpleasant theworriedwell why remark unless you can add something positive within a difficult situation
I don’t understand your thought pattern Grannygranybe why to you imply that a man transitioning to a woman is a danger to society Do you really believe a person is only a threat if they own a penis what a strange thought pattern have you never heard of women killers

Please tell me how good looks compounds the issues round transitioning? Some people agree with it, some people don't a d some have mixed feelings l. All perfectly valid in my vote but how attractive someone is doesn't affect any of that.

Luckygirl13 I wish you and your family all the luck in the world.
You have your own views and feelings
Try not to worry too much, it is a decision with has been taken and not yours to act on.
I hope they are happy now, and I am sure you will support them as you have already shown you can, come what may.

Luckygirl, are you sure he will want plastic surgery? I ask because I have a relative who is a trans woman. She took hormones but is pleased with how she makes love and still has a penis and a super girl friend.

I find it a lot to comprehend but have to accept her decision.

FriedGreenTomatoes2

Transitioning wasn’t an option years ago.
I’m not sure just because we have the technology to interfere that we should.

The first time I heard of it was April someone, might have been Ashley. She was quite famous at the time. I think that was late 50s or early 60s. She went abroad somewhere. That was male to female transition though, can't remember when I first heard of female to male.

Luckygirl, I understand why you mentioned her looks. We all find our own young people just beautiful and it's sad they can't see it and are under so much pressure to look a certain way and this seems just an extension of it really

It worries so many with ASD/autism are now trans. It adds another layer to the complexities of self image but it worries me there might be more going on in the way of persuasion

PS whatever, he will not cease to be beautiful, and healthy, simply because he has recently become a man.

I don’t think any of us can possibly understand the need to transition unless it happens to us. We all know what a kind, thoughtful person Luckygirl is and her relative is indeed lucky to have someone like that to support them on their journey. At the same time we need to be here to support Luckygirl so she can offload what she, too, is going through.

anyway Luckygirl, you are allowed to feel worried and sad

Just googled, it was April Ashley, she had surgery in Casablanca in 1960.

theworriedwell

BlueBelle

Very unpleasant theworriedwell why remark unless you can add something positive within a difficult situation
I don’t understand your thought pattern Grannygranybe why to you imply that a man transitioning to a woman is a danger to society Do you really believe a person is only a threat if they own a penis what a strange thought pattern have you never heard of women killers

Please tell me how good looks compounds the issues round transitioning? Some people agree with it, some people don't a d some have mixed feelings l. All perfectly valid in my vote but how attractive someone is doesn't affect any of that.

I also thought it was an odd comment to make about her looks Worriedwell.. as I don't think it has any particular relevance to transitioning..

I have two close relatives like this although I am not sure they are transitioning as such. They seem to want to change their names and wear fake breasts, make-up but wear androgynous clothes.

They don't have much to do with the family any more and seem very lonely and isolated. This is their choice- the family would be more understanding if they were more open and approachable about their status.

I don't understand this idea that they are still the same person 'underneath' in that case why change? I thought it was because they didn't want to be themselves?

I have worked with gender unspecific teenagers and I found them to be very vulnerable, impressionable and insecure in themselves, often in abusive or at best neglectful families.

I just wish I knew more about it all. It seems to be we are being called just to see an 'identity' on the surface and not look for a struggling human person inside.

Caleo

Luckygirl, are you sure he will want plastic surgery? I ask because I have a relative who is a trans woman. She took hormones but is pleased with how she makes love and still has a penis and a super girl friend.

I find it a lot to comprehend but have to accept her decision.

Definitely wanting "top surgery".

struggling human person inside - this is the person I am worried about. If the treatments do not bring the desired happiness they will be very vulnerable indeed.

I think the worry for me is, and sorry if I am adding to your worries, is certainly lots of the young detransitioners are saying why didnt anyone say to me but you wont be a man.

Indeed Galaxy - I worry that the end result might not live up to their expectations - I can only hope that what might be reasonably has been explained to them.

I also worry about the long term medical implications - increased risk of heart disease etc.

For centuries humanity have expressed themselves by changing the outside to match the inside. It may not be our taste or make us uncomfortable but that is and always will be out own problem. Their body their choice and often their future happiness. Be happy for them. Find it within yourself. Their happiness should be yours as with all we love and cherish.

Luckygirl, I asked my transwoman relative why she wanted breasts- great lolloping things that have to be encased in bras and are a disadvantage when running about doing sports. She laughed ; I suppose because an adverse opinion about breasts is not a fashionable opinion and she had never actually thought dispassionately about the uses of breasts.

I never had breasts anyway. Flat as a pancake until I put some post menopause weight on. I suppose I did suffer from body dysmorphia a bit because of it but my thunder thighs always upset me more than my lack of cleavage. I guess sexuality is a very complicated thing and everyone is completely different. Apologies for going off at a tangent here, but I was only thinking today about modern women with hair extensions, painted on eyebrows, gel nails, breast implants and, the latest fad, lip filler (why oh why; it’s always so obvious and I just think of the pain of having it done) and wondered how emancipation had led us to this.

Luckygirl I echo the words of Luminance. Well said.
I couldn’t have put it better

One of my fears is inadvertently calling my friend's grandchild 'he' as that was the case until they went university and i haven't seen them since. My friend gets very upset about that.

By coincidence I just listened to a podcast about the Tavistock clinic. It's a series by Tortoise on BBC Sounds and so far has been very thought provoking.

I'm only a few episodes in but recommend a listen to anyone interested in this topic.

keepingquiet

By coincidence I just listened to a podcast about the Tavistock clinic. It's a series by Tortoise on BBC Sounds and so far has been very thought provoking.

I'm only a few episodes in but recommend a listen to anyone interested in this topic.

Thankyou so much for highlighting this programme Keepingquiet.

I have learnt a lot.. and the young people interviewed especially Steph are so thoughtful and articulate.. I also recommend it..