BLACK DOG 25

Good evening
I’ve had a nice day at work today, had a chat with colleagues, always nice to be there. Catching up after being away.
Tonight I had a look at my plants and did some watering.
Yesterday I bought some wind chimes for the garden, very pretty, never had any before.

The post about snoring made me laugh, DH used to snore a lot !
Lovely blanket Sweetpea Sue, I want to learn how to crochet and have bought a kit. Hope your DH’s headache lifts soon.
I also want to try yoga too.
Thinking of you all xx

HVDY yes I carried a placard on marches no I didn’t burn it just took it off - being skinny. I had quite an “alternative’ life in my 20’s, it being the 70’s, not wild ….just unconventional …amongst like minded people in inner city Manchester, LittleGirl seems to have had a lovely a day as usual.

I had a really fairly desperate bad day today mind wise but managed the shop.
Sweetpeasue it often follows a better day. I’ll try to resume small steps tomorrow

I loved your blankets, they are pretty and handmade always so special, and you should be proud doing them despite all. And so glad the beach walk was a good one. (And do follow up with you referral if you can)

It’s just good you can manage to come in Doodle It must be so difficult for you, I’m hoping you are managing to see friends and getting out to church somehow.

I’m glad it was a nice day Elveral at work and you’ll love the wind chimes.

Quiet in here today. I hope other regulars but not posters are as well as they can be and readers too.

Night night all.

Elveral Glad your work day was nice. It helps when you've got friendly colleagues (I always worked alone but preferred that). Your garden must be looking pretty. Shame about the rain now.

Wyllow3 The 70s were a great time to be young. I miss those days. I hope you have a better day today, although the weather's not very spring-like.

Going for blood tests, then to look for sandals or trainers, then a coffee morning thing (whether DH goes or not). Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day x

Hi all-
Doodle- thank you for keeping in touch - it must be beyond difficult for you. Hope you’re having lots of visitors. Sending a healing hug.
SweetPeaSue- it’s good to hear that you,ve been out together on the Beach- it’s so beneficial both physically and mentally. Wish that DH headache would just go away - he deserves some respite. You are so kind to be making those beautiful blankets- how they must be appreciated. It does make you feel so fortunate to be able to live the lives we are at the moment- those poor souls.
Do you ever feel like you,d like a Fluffball of your own or is it the best of both worlds to have her as a sweet visitor.
Please don’t let the fear of loss overshadow your life with DH. Make the most of each day . Nobody knows what the future holds - enjoy each day you can.
Elveral - it’s good you have felt like doing a bit of gardening- it really is good therapy with an added bonus of a pretty garden. Wind chimes are lovely - such a pretty tinkly sound.
This year is a big one for your eldest DD - what does she want to do next?
Nice to hear you thinking of some things you,d like to do- very positive and also the chance to make new friends.
HVDY- you make me laugh- yes a bedside drink would be a good move for DH . It,d be better if he could persevere with the CPAP.
Another nice little Girl day she seems to just muck in with
whatever you do and totally chill out. No Ice Cream! What does she like for a treat?
Hope the blood tests are OK - there’s a lot of nice sandals nd trainers about. Skechers and Pavers are good- we have an outlet nearby where they are much cheaper.
Enjoy the coffee morning - and cake?
Wyllow- I bet you were a fantastic and adventurous young woman. I lived nr Manchester in the late seventies and loved it as a City. My Sister was always a marcher and banner maker when she was younger - very concerned for the less fortunate and a bit of a hippy.
Despite your troublesome mind you still got out and did the weekly shop- no mean feat. You seem to have a positivity in your words that wasn’t there before. So glad you,ve “ chatted “ to your DD - don’t worry about getting it right - you’re getting it right by making the contact. All you can do is be yourself - he loves you and will be so pleased.
Doing some daily Yoga even for 5 minutes would really help your muscles and flexibility not to mention be good for your mind- one step at a time.

On Friday we are going away for 2 weeks. As usual I,m nervous but know it,ll be OK when we get there. It’s across the Channel so added apprehension. So wish I was brave like years ago.
But I can’t let being old and not so well stop me .

Loving thought s to all those posting and all our friends who we miss when they’re not here.xx

ScaredyCat LittleGirl likes biscuits (I only buy plain ones for her) but doesn't like cake! Unbelievable! I went to the coffee & cake thing - it was this afternoon. They were serving burgers and ham rolls (we call them cobs here). I didn't bother, but had 2 pieces of Swiss roll. DH stayed here and did a couple of jobs. I bought some Sketchers shoes (now got 3 pairs), beige ones. Still need to get sandals for the hot weather. Yes, you'll be fine when you get on holiday, and you'll enjoy the break. Hope it'll be just what you need.

DIL just sent me this photo from their living room. It made me smile.

One of the cats (in the background) was keeping a safe distance

Wyllow So sorry for that 'bad, desperate day' yesterday. You seem to understand the ups and downs and I hope you managed small steps today. Yes we intend to get a referral and hope to see a GP on Friday ,though it might be too big an ask for F2F. We both want to be there but there's only 1 GP ( the one we usually see) that does just F2F appts and he's on leave this week.
I remember you doing your yoga and you're quite experienced in it. What do you think about chair yoga to start with? I was thinking of trying myself but just can't think of it while I've so much weight on.
Elveral Glad you had a better day yesterday. It must have been a bit of a boost to be with work colleagues. I like wind chimes though I haven't got any - might have a look myself. I've not learned to crotchet with a pattern but just the few stitches I was taught as a child. Everyone seemed to be crotcheting at school at playtime then- it was a thing when I was 14 at the time . Was another world then!
HVDY I'm not a fan of burgers either - think I'd have gone for cake. I need some more trainers or plimsolls too. The Sketchers are great aren't they .I'll need to go to an outlet thing where they're on offer . Gorgeous photo of Littlegirl. Seem to remember that your hair was same colour in that photo of yourself and DH a beautiful rich brunette.
Doodle Do hope your spirits are not too low and your pain is less. Hope you can get out with friends a little. Xx
Scaredycat We always feel better for a walk .I think it's just that first initial motivation to get out. Thankyou for those wise words about not letting the fear of tomorrows spoil todays. I've thought about a dog of our own though I think I also appreciate the freedom of ' having it both ways'. I get so attached that , once again, I'm afraid of loss. I was terribly upset when son's last dog , a Labrador, died. We used to have him too. Glad you're going away , you'll be OK once you're there. Have a lovely time.

Thankyou all for kind words about blankets. Been really windy here today. DH took my car to have air conditioner topped up. I bought a dress from Tescos. It's * very* loose , bit tent like really, but I've been wearing the same 2 dresses over and over and feeling embarrassed about it. Can't get into any of my jeans now. Must make more effort cutting back.

Take care of yourselves everyone and wishing a peaceful night for all.xx

Love and hugs xx

SweetpeaSue Little Girl's hair is wild. My natural colour was almost black (both sons are the same). I used to dye it dark but it I went blonde a few years ago. It's white now. About yr dresses - I'm very fat but have got loads of clothes. I bought 6 dresses recently from Vinted (3 brand new with tags on). Having pets comes with the sadness of missing them when they die. Even though I've got Jaffa, I sometimes miss Mr Cooper. Dogs need more attention, walks in all weathers. I think you've definitely got the best of both worlds.

My computer isn't working properly so I'm using my 'phone. DH is out with Son1 so I'm watching tv. Hope everyone is having a relaxing evening x

Thinking of you, especially, Doodleand hope you're managing ok or getting some help

Hi everybody
Have a lovely break Scardeycat. I love getting away, not so easy with teens. Hopefully you’ll enjoy a change of scenery.
Lovely picture of Little girl, doesn’t seem five minutes since mine were that age. Happy times.
My eldest is planning on going to college.
Yes the wind chimes are lovely, they had loads of different types. I’d like to get some more bedding plants at the weekend, the garden has cheered me up a bit. It’s lovely talking to you all.
Hope you all sleep well xx

Elveral So glad the garden has cheered you a little and you're feeling a little better. Lots of bedding plants in the nursery right now and great time to plant with the promise of mild weather.
This has been a great place for me and a place I needed. Hope you sleep well too.

HVDY thats a a lovely picture of LittleGirl. I really love sketchers shoes too -room in the toes -have a fave pair wear day in day out but hI had the sense to buy a spare pair. Maybe Little Girl likes the crispiness of biscuits. You have a great selection of clothes and why not.

As ever - such thoughtful advice for me Scaredycat I think your sister was a bit like me at around the same time.
Well…a Big Adventure ahead for you. I hope you’ll pop in if you can whilst you are away (if time and technology allow) your anxiety in advance is very understandable until you get settled - do let off steam here! Yes all are missed, and you too.

Sweetpeasue oh I am glad you are moving ahead with a referral. I recall posting on yoga way back in better times I think the point is for me I did it so long its sort of second nature not starting from scratch as others would have to do.Yes you have a good idea to do chair yoga. I think Doodle was doing it before the falls.
But you are so spot on about the motivation. Well done for the clothes. I haven’t been motivated to buy any for ages. My wardrobe alas like lots of stuff reminds me of Ex…oh dear.

So like all of us Doodle - you are very much in thoughts. Love and hugs back. xx

Hi Elveral lovely to talk to you too. It might help you get more time for yourself when eldest goes to college (tho I bet mixed feelings) and you are spot on with your garden.

I didnt get out today, it was a dressing gown day, but there were interesting GN chats and remembered to move around more and I accidentally found a brilliant film tonight called “the Life Ahead” on Netflix. …so I kept the wolves at bay, tomorrow is carer so hoping for sun at the right time.

I often feel OK at this time of night but wake in a bad way so you get the best bits maybe I should come in more often I should try its motivation like everything else its this feeling bad after a good bit! Curses…

Best nights all and those reading but not in.

Elvera1 Thanks. They don't stay little for long. What does your daughter want to do at college?

Wyllow3 Thank you. She's very photogenic. Yoga sounds like a good idea. I expect you know how to do all the different moves, anyway. I'm going to aqua aerobics later this morning. I really ought to try to go regularly.

Son1 sorted my computer (remotely), but the headphones aren't working, and he suggested I buy Bluetooth ones. I've been awake since 4.30, with racing thoughts and anxiety (no idea why), so I'll need a doze later. Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day x

Hi all
HVDY- what a cheery picture of LittleGirl. She has the dearest little face - good natured but also full of mischief.
Can’t believe she doesn’t like cake- maybe she just hasn’t met one she likes yet!!
Glad you got your Skechers- they are like going out in your slippers aren’t they?
Sorry you had that horrible early morning. I hope a doze has chased that anxiety away.
SweetPeaSue- hope you get to see a GP on Friday- don’t think aF2F is too much to ask. Just hope you are able to get a referral quickly if you go the private route.
You are probably right about the freedom of being Fluffballs grandparents!!
Thank you for your kind words about our forthcoming hols - I,m just being my usual Scaredy-cat!
I love dresses like tents - so cool and loose. I have a couple going in my case on Friday!
Elveral- thank you yes it will be nice to be somewhere beautiful.
It will be an exciting time for your eldest - going to college. Has she any plans for her future career?
Isn’t it amazing how a garden can bring such pleasure. I guess
it’s because it is a living thing and brings colour and beauty into our lives.
Wyllow- it,ll be good for us to have another adventure. We have been very lucky and been to some wonderful places . I can’t let my fears take over like they did. I,ll certainly,pop in if the WiFi is any good! It’s a quiet scenic part of France so not too far away.
It must be lovely to be good at Yoga and feel so familiar with it. It,ll be just like riding a bike once you start again.
As for your wardrobe it’s time you had a bit of a clear out! Get some nice new things that give you pleasure and bin the stuff that makes you sad.i know it’s easier said than done but think how much better you,ll feel if you have a “happy” wardrobe. Wish we could all go shopping with you.
You definitely sound brighter - could it be the OldWyllow is getting a little closer. Don’t forget you deserve those good bits and hopefully they,ll become easier for you to accept.
Hope you,ve had a good day with your nice carer.
Doodle - thinking of you as usual and hope one of your nice friends was able to take you to Church today.

Love to all and our absent friendsxx

ScaredyCat Thank you. LG needs to be introduced to a wider variety of cakes (but her dad disapproves of those foods for her). I didn't have a doze - instead, I did some vacuuming and mopping, then a couple of crosswords. France will be nice. Have you been before? Perhaps it's the planning and travelling you don't like? It'll be fine when you get there.

How's everyone's day going? When I went to get dressed after aqua aerobics, I realised my knickers were actually DH's boxer shorts! I had to wear them . Nobody knew. x

Evening you lovely people.
Sadly no church today not up to it. Left hand improving but both still ache a lot it i text or use them too much.
Been a bit miserable today but had a nice visit with friend.
Wyllow if it helps coming here then do so all the time. Friendship is so important.
Sorry can’t write more but thinking of you all good hols Scaredycat.
I am reading so don’t think I don’t care coz I’m not writing. Xx

HVDY aqua aerobics can be very hard work, I tried it once, but I expect you can choose to do it more or less energetically. Sorry it’s been an anxious day. Your accidental undies made me smile.

Tent dresses are great, Scardeycat The weather hasn’t coaxed me into a dress yet it has to be really hot but for a holiday a great option. Ooo, a quiet scenic part of France sounds lovely. Supportive thoughts for the anxiety continuing.
Yes, I am thinking on and off on wardrobe. It’s very hard to give away some stuff with memories (size changes) tho I know they are only clothes. Getting there slowly, hampered by M n S not being online. With this weather I’m looking on Amazon for a light weight Mac.
Yes, it was nice with carer today. Partly because it’s so easy to get on, I dont want to lose her now!) Yes, yoga is ingrained in me.

Doodle , aw, so sorry that you weren’t up to going to church so of course you felt miserable, I’m so glad you could visit your friend and thank you for your kind thoughts.
I always know you are thinking of BD’s.

Thinking of absent BD’s, sending warm thoughts out.

Doodle Oh, it's no wonder you feel miserable. Not being able to do the things you want to must be so frustrating, too. Glad you saw a friend.

Wyllow3 I put in as much effort as I can, except for the jumping - it was that that caused the torn cartilage in my hip. I used to love doing Zumba (very energetic) 4 times a week before the stroke. It's good that you get on so well with your carer. She's obviously a very nice person.

Woke at 5, but eventually went back to sleep until 7. Day centre today (I don't feel like going, but will). Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day, despite the gloomy weather. x

Hi all
HVDY- Ah Little Girks Dad is looking out for her - she,ll discover cakes in her own good time and then there,ll be no stopping her.
Your Boxer shorts story was so funny- bet they were comfortable though. That was very admirable to do cleaning instead of dozing- .
We have been to France many times before- we used to Ski there a lot too. It’s the fear of being ill away from home that makes me so anxious. It’s since I,ve had AF - you,d think I,d be used to it by now.
Enjoy the Day centre- sometimes the things we don’t look forward to turn out to be really good.
Doodle- you must have missed Church so much yesterday but at least you got to see your friend. It’s so miserable for you to have this added discomfort . It’s better for you to rest your hands though and we know how much you care.
Thank you for your kind wishes.
Wyllow- the tents went in my case this morning hope they get an outing.
I,m sure it must feel hard for you to consider relinquishing some of your clothes but as you say they are only clothes. The M and S situation is really annoying isn’t it especially as you are
Feeling more like shopping. We are very lucky and have a big store 10 minutes away but the stock although plentiful is very limited in sizing.
It feels like you are approaching things with a more open attitude now and it’s lovely how your nice carer is bringing companionship as well as care. Sending a friendly hug.

So we are off tomorrow. I will do my best to keep in touch. I feel very fortunate to be able to go away like this and feel very aware that so many of you have a lot of stress and sadness to deal with. Will be thinking of you all.

Wyllow I can see that clothes bring back memories. The loss of your ex is still quite recent and it would be good for you to buy some new clothes for your new life - a turning point for better times ahead. I have clothes that make me sad and wistful for the size I was so different thing entirely. I googled that film you watched and see it had Sophia Loren as the main character- didn't know she was still alive. How amazing to get a part like that in her 80s. Will look out for it though looks like a tearjerker. Hope it had a happy ending.
It's so good you like your carer so much and I hope you have her a lot longer. Hoping today hasn't been too bad for you.
HVDY You did make me smile about the boxers! Some can be quite unisex looking though. Confession!!!! I bought my first pair of sloggi chub- rub shorts!🫣 I remember a very old lady wore pantaloons so I keep thinking how dreadful but ,quite honestly they are so comfy and I've got used to them now under dresses. Did you get to the day centre? Hope it was ok when you got there.
Scaredycat I don't think of you as a Scaredy at all- you've overcome so many tragic events and you always seem to find the positives in life . I'm so glad there are others here that like tent dresses - I'll waft around in mine a lot easier. Hope you get some nice warm weather to wear them. I've never been to France ( which seems silly really as only over the channel). Hope you have a wonderful time.
Doodle It was good of you to take the time to post when your hands are so bad. Glad you had a friend yesterday but I know how much you'll miss church. It's all such a rotten thing to happen when you need to be active and do things. Sending love. I think of you and wonder how you're managing to pass the time.

Went to a shopping centre today and bought my first pr of Sketchers- they really are like wearing pillows on your feet. So hope DH gets a F2F appt tomorrow - thing is the receptionist can't book it ( only with the GP we've been seeing who's away) and he'll have to wait for the GP to call back and then they decide. We'll be limited to time too as we're having DGS tomorrow after school. We'll just have to wait till next week if we can't.
Hope everyone's day has been OK and thinking of those not in and hope they're coping. X

Sorry all. Hands are tired and achy tonight . Hope your Dh gets his appointment tomorrow Sweetpeasue
Thinking of you all much love

ScaredyCat Oh, skiing is a skill. Were you any good at it? I understand your anxiety a bit - I'm like that, too. I'm sure you'll have a lovely time. The day centre was very good, thanks.

SweetpeaSue Sketchers are great, aren't they? I've got 3 pairs (pink, black, and now beige), but some sandals. I wear Sloggi knickers (so comfortable and they don't ride up or lose their elasticity) but never needed chub-rub things - all my fat is on my torso. Day centre was good. Beef stew, mash, cabbage, and then Black Forest gateau. A couple came with various items from the 50s and 60s, and apparently, their entire house is full of furniture and items from those years. It was quite interesting. I do hope your husband manages to see the GP tomorrow. He needs to be seen soon.

Doodle Don't worry about posting, we all think of you and hope you're getting on alright.

Hope everyone has a restful night x

SweetpeaSue I meant I need some sandals.