BLACK DOG 25

Hi all

EllieAnne- what a wonderful photo- you have a good eye.
A lovely place to live. Hope you are OK today.
Nadateturbe- we,re loving having you back. Enjoy your time in the caravan. Just relax and enjoy the beautiful surroundings.
Doodle- Ah I,d forgotten your brother had had dementia- you must miss him greatly.
I,m another one who doesn’t iron bed linen except pillowcases - don’t ask me why but I love the feel of them when they’re done.
Hopefully you,ve had the nice cool morning we,ve just had but it’s like an oven again now.. have you been to Church this morning?
HVDY- Glad the air con is done it must have felt like an oven in your car. We just used to open the windows before that didn’t we.
My niece is still waiting for her Op!! She had an ultrasound the other day and was told she hadn’t drunk enough liquid beforehand. She actually can’t do it physically as her belly is so swollen. Makes me so cross.
This heat is debilitating in lots of ways isn’t it. So sorry you have a nasty headache. Sometimes that happens before a Thunderstorm doesn’t it.
I think you are becoming a Vinted Entrepreneur!!
SweetPeaSue- the Fibro must get worse on this heat- especially if you,ve pushed yourself a bit too hard. Hope you,ve rested and the aches have subsided . Foggy heads make you feel awful - hope that’s cleared too.
You need to rest a bit this week so you can enjoy your holiday and have some energy in reserve.
Hope tomorrow’s Appt helps.
Wyllow- You went through a profound experience at the Gym and I think were able to accept loving and being loved as a part of your life experience and be grateful for those memories.
In a way it’s like being reborn. You are the Old Wyllow but a more perceptive,open one who is more grounded and learning each day to live again.
Another chance meeting and sharing of experiences - good for both you and the other person.
Hope you enjoyed the rest of your film.

Well I decided to cook a roast this afternoon but I don’t know who,s hotter me or the chicken!! By the time it’s cooked it should be a bit cooler. What was I thinking 😩
Love to all and hope to see some old friends again soon.

Yes, that passage is not only for the religious, it is truly a guide to live by nadateturbe

Wise words about good and bad days and exhaustion to Sweetpeasue:

You put it so much better, more depth than I did.

I'm thinking other BD's might be having hotter weather than me, its overcast with a light breeze thankfully.

It's cooler today here, HVDY and a big heave of relief.

I'm so glad you got the aircon fixed, and yet more fun with clothes.
I so wish we could see them 🙂

Are you ready for the story of me going to Quakers?
Ahem, will try to be brief (ha ha)...

Wyllow3 I read your post. You explained so well how you were feeling. I think you were strong to cope and work your way through all those emotions. You did so well! And meeting that lady in the changing rooms, a "coincidence" that really helped. Thanks for the bible reading. A favourite passage, especially verse 12.

Oh I'm glad you got it fixed HVDY. Makes such a difference. You're very helpful Grandparents, although lucky you to get time with LG. I have to be content with WhatsApp photos.
I think with things like M.E. and Fybro we very often have bad days following good ones, Sweetpeasue. The foggy head is hard to cope with, or to explain! If you haven't experienced it you won't get it.
I hope you're resting today. Wishing you well for your appointment x

nadateturbe Hope you have a lovely time at your caravan. I got the aircon sorted out. Halfords did it for £140. It's so cool now.

Doodle Glad you saw some friends. This heat is so tiring, isn't it? I've never ironed bedding - I think there's more than enough ironing to do, without that.

SweetpeaSue Perhaps the hot weather is making you feel worse? Are you drinking plenty? I've been drinking about 4 pints, but I've got a headache because of this heat.

Wyllow3 I'm glad you recognise your feelings of sadness and that you know how to cope with them. Those memories will always be there, but you can probably learn how to react to them. Glad you're feeling calm now.

Got the car's air conditioning fixed. DH and I babysat LG at their house, 6 til 10.45. She was as good as gold, no bother. Sold 3 more items today (bought 2!). Hope everyone manages to sleep in this heat x

Wyllow Your post was encouraging to me- knowing your feelings of sadness were helped so much by the memory of reassurance in Quaker meetings but also by the bible corinthians verses about love. (I went to a Pentecostal church for a few yrs and understand the bit about prophesy and tongues)
So glad you now feel calm.
No deep thinking about why my bad day followed good though. Think it's just a part of the Fibromyalgia and lack of energy. Have Rheumatologist appt early Monday though not expecting too much. Just would like to be vindicated as toy symptoms bit there is no definite test.

Yes....and get ready for an essay...

Scaredycat - that wasn’t a fortunate choice of where to be, was it?

For someone who cant write much, *
nadateturbe, you were splendid today. Oo, I didn’t catch that you were in your caravan, is it by the sea?

(Its a much Weller “me”, than the old one, all. More awareness, more clarity.)

*Doodle” I’d definitely agree the level of heat brings one down: it stops us doing things that help, quite considerably.

I’m with you now on what you do as regards laundry - I do a lot of smoothing out after the washing machine. But my Mum was the same, except of course Dad’s shirts and her clothes for work. We were taught early on how to iron our school blouses.

Sweetpeasue - are you struggling with what I often do? A good day somehow is followed by a bad one. Not quite worked out why, although I suspect some self punishing as in “undeserving” in there.
I hope tomorrow picks you up a little.

This is very very long, so skip or speed read.

“Its been a very emotional journey, going swimming at the gym. On the way there I was flooded with memories of going both with Ex and also of course with my first husband .

Saturdays were always the day to go together to the gym. As I drove there, profound sadness as the memories flooded back. I arrived at the gym very very shaky indeed.

I’ll be honest, I thought it would be like a coming home in the pool, but it wasn’t, the emotions were so strong, I had to walk holding the wall.

Swimming backstroke always gives me an easy rhythm. My legs have lost strength, but my legs have lost power for great stroke

Then the really emotional moment came when I went in the steam room. I was alone, it was lovely at first, stretching out.

Then I was seized with a similar but not quite as frightening feeling as I did at home when I rung the crisis service.

Just terrible loss, and no amelioration (tho I knew what was going on). I searched in my mind desperately for a mental place, a space where it was safe: not family:

Then it came to me: it was sitting in the quiet and love found only for me in the midst of our little Quaker meeting.

I recalled the picture I always draw on, which is to be beside a river, alone, the sun setting or rising or full sun depending on mood:

I was flooded like I was one day driving to work over lovely scenery, my heart was flooded with Love/love and of course One Corinthians 13, and as I was alone I could cry.

I could feel wanting to run away from this feeling but stayed with it. That place, that physical and mental space, its where I belong.

The passage in One Corinthians 13 is:

“1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.

3If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast - but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

5It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

9For we know in part and we prophesy in part,

10but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears.

11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became older,(edit) I put the ways of childhood behind me.

12*For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known*.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. ^But the greatest of these is love^

I left the Steam room still having to touch the wall, but the shower grounded me.

A great chat with a women in the changing rooms grounded me - remarkable shared family and MH and abuse discussions.

So now I just feel calm and tired and will watch yet more “Body in the Library” the Agatha Christie film currently on I player.

Thanks for the music Wyllow3. Did you get your swim?

Nadateturbe Thankyou. Hope you have a nice time in your caravan.x

I'm sure coping with the heat is affecting you Doodle. We've done just the essentials and will do the same while the heat continues and a short walk when it cools down in the evening. Have to be sensible.
I stopped ironing bedclothes a few months ago when my M.E. suddenly got worse. The bed looks fine. I will never iron them again. We have to be sensible about what we can manage.
Yes, do be extra careful Scaredycat.
Sweetpeasue you maybe did too much. Take it easy tomorrow. We're doing nothing that isn't important.

Sorry everyone. Not great today. Pushed to got to B&Q this morning but this afternoon full of aches and foggy head. Maybe overdid it yesterday.

Love to all and thinking of you. Hope those with heavy hearts feel a little lighter tomorrow.xx

HVDY hope you’ve had a more relaxed day today. Do you iron your bedding. I always have but now I’m not able to use and iron I just fold it up and hope for the best. Not sure it makes any difference

Evening all. Been a bit of a mixed day. Not good this morning but out with friends this afternoon. I think the heat is bringing me down.
nadateturbe nice to have you back with us. Take things easy.
Wyllow so lovely to have our old Wyllow back and in a better place. Pleas take it slowly. We love having you fully back with us.
Scaredycat please take care out on your rockery. Not more accidents. I am very wary walking outside now.
So hard visiting friends with dementia. When I visited my brother I couldn’t help but remember the charming witty clever gentleman he was. So sad to see that clever man struggle with names and not knowing what was going on.
Sweetoeasue please keep going to your book club it’s important to keep in touch with people. Hope you have a more restful weekend.

Sorry can't manage much. Hope I haven't forgotten someone.

Doodle take it easy, after your busy day. Giving you a big hug. x
EllieAnne, lovely photo. Thanks. Hope you're ok.
HVDY nice you saw SiL. Ice cream sounds good. Your car sounds horrendous, hope you get it fixed down.
Wyllow3 it's lovely to hear how you are now. I remember some time ago you were asking for advice on where to move to. And you seem more like that "old" you.

Sweetpeasue lovely day Friday, amazed at your energy! Thanks for nice comments. Sorry, can't write much today. x

Sad visits for you Scaredycat but I'm sure you're glad you went. Take care in this heat.

Wyllow- I was in the front when I slipped and banged my head😩

HVDY -it is no surprise, you working in the care sector - everything you do speaks of that experience, and my carer shows that too. (You just should be paid a lot more!)

Take care in the sun, Doodle. Here, there is a very slight breeze, it actually makes just enough difference to bear the heat.

Scaredycat, you are another who holds the bonds of family close, dear, and effectively, despite your AF, which must make this weather harder to bear.

Also hard to beat those slipping away from us. It’s never happened to a rellie of mine - none in the family although I don’t know if this makes any difference…also people living longer?

Hey what happened as per “hard hat”?

It is mainly “Day at home in” weather,

Except I am contemplating going for a first swim. My DocSis reckons my ears, with all the protection I have arranged (plugs, and a hat with ear protection fittings) looks funny but too bad.

I did realise Something Very Important this morning.

I discovered I am accidentally down to 14mg diazepam. I decided to go for it - it's a reduction of one third! So I will stay on it now
My rapid withdrawal I thought then looked up) yes has caused my dizziness and of course heightened anxiety palpitations etc also vv necessary to stay on this. It also accounts for saying som unwise things, inability to spell, forgotten all names..

So yes, old Wyllow is back, with the complications folks here now understand too.

Ah, it’s music that heals me most, apart from people. I felt so lonely going to the gym alone when both first DH and Ex would go together on a Saturday for a swim or workout.

Yes, it would be nice to catch up on “old friends” - anyone care to pop in ?

Hello everyone, to echo Wyllow3 its too hot to function properly. And we made it to our caravan, so no WiFi. So can't write much even if I did have the energy. I prefer using the laptop, easier on my eyes, typing on phone too long makes me dizzy. Catch up soon. Hope everyone is OK and being careful in this heat. Love xx

Hi all
SweetPeaSue- so glad you,ve been enjoying Book Club more - you,ll be ready for next term. What lovely times you have with Fluffball and DGS . It’s so good to hear joy in your words- children and animals can work magic can’t they.
HVDY- oh yuk that veggie thing sounds inedible. What a shame sometimes veggie things are lovely.
I can understand how you feel about seeing your SiL. We saw my friend but not her DH as he is so very poorly. She doesn’t realise she is not in her flat anymore so seemed quite content in the care home although she mentioned that everyone wasn’t quite the ticket!! Bless her.
It’s lovely you still see your other SiL - I see mine too from my first DH. She always welcomes us both .
Enjoy your day at home- we’re doing the same thing.
Doodle- an exhibiting artist!! It’s,good,that you will have next term to look forward to but hopefully see some of your Art friends in the meantime.
This weather has been so exhausting hasn’t it- lovely to see everyone enjoying the sun but it has just felt like we’re melting🥵 Hope you have some peaceful,healing time at Church tomorrow.
Nadateturbe- we did enjoy our evening thank you. My DD and SiL are starting to enjoy their retirement at last.
Yes seeing someone you love who was vibrant,beautiful and like a sister now slipping away is beyond awful- as many here know. Next day we saw our other old friend who also has no idea she has dementia - very sad 2 days.
Like you I have many of my pics framed and on our walls . Not because they are great but they are from photos I,ve taken of places we love - it’s memories isn’t it. Life drawings not so easy to display.
Wyllow- it’s lovely to hear that things have started to jump into your trolley too. How do they do that!!!
Our old Wyllow is back as HVDY says and taking it carefully . It’s made us all so happy.
Yes the heat definitely slows us down- pottering is good though as you can stop and have a rest now and then.
Those chance encounters and chats are the stuff of life aren’t they and can brighten up our days. I like to potter in the front of our house where we have a rockery and many a chat takes place. My DH says I need to wear a hard hat after my last escapade out there!!

Hope all our friends we haven’t seen lately are doing ok- we miss you. Love to all

Ellie Anne what a beautiful picture. So peaceful
Wyllow well done on the dyeing . Sounds though it all came out well.
HvDY it’s boiling here. I’m supposed to be going out soon so need to get ready.
Have a good day all.

EllieAnne Gorgeous photograph. You're lucky to have such wonderful views where you live.

Wyllow3 I bet your newly-dyed clothes look great. I love red. Yes, I'm quite grounded - helped by having worked in the care sector for 20-odd years.

It's pleasantly warm this morning (up since 6.30), not that horrible oppressive heat we had yesterday. Got washing on the line and am going to have a day at home. Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day x

And here she is - "love is everything"

www.youtube.com/watch?v=T19UODyJpVA&list=RDT19UODyJpVA&start_radio=1

Tonights U tube is a very old favourite of mine -I like the singer K.D. Lang are great deal, here is her versions of "Hallelujah"

Studio version - better singing

www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTOslDiMd4E&list=RDlTOslDiMd4E&start_radio=1

Live (audience quite involved

www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_NpxTWbovE&list=RDP_NpxTWbovE&start_radio=1

Studio version - better singing

www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTOslDiMd4E&list=RDlTOslDiMd4E&start_radio=1