Black Dogs 28

Doodle So sorry for all the hassle youve had fixing the broadband and how it has emphasised the loss of your husband. Hope you're feeling a bit better today.
Wyllow Happy birthday to you and hope you're not feeling so bad.
HVDY Oh I do hope LG isnt too poorly and is given something to help .
EllieAnne So sorry that you feel so alone. You're such a good mum the way you have stood in at such an emergency- your DH is lucky to have you.
Scaredycat Sending a hug - must be so awful to see your friend like that.
* Nadateturbe* Hope you're OK.

Sliding nuns. A good addition to the BD delirium collection. A sad journey home indeed with your friend, the desperateness of her illness and husband dying. Cruel indeed. what can we do except try to love?

I did wrap up and enjoyed a get out, a little Sainsbury's shop and coffee at Costa with free birthday cake.

The Mediators came. MrA has grasped and accepted it was aggressive and sexual, and did indeed take in and process my faith points. But it took 5 hours work with the mediators to "get there".
He is also committed in some way to be worked out to letting other Quakers know what he had really done

and he is willing to tell other Quakers to dispel their myths of his "over-enthusiastic hug"enforced by nearly all on me

and ask the question of Safeguarding and others, "why did you not challenge me?

Obviously this will take some working through it wont come easily to him, but he needed a lot of help and support from those 5 hours counselling and challenging to reach this point.

My work will be to accept what he says with grace, but be clear what he follow throughs will actually be and when (this will all be recorded btw in the report which Safeguarding will see, but I'm looking at his offer of speaking up and putting certain people right most of all.

So stuff to go through still, but next time if something like this ever happens again they wont lay it mostly on the victim.

Wyllow didn’t know it was your birthday. Many happy returns 🎂. How nice to have some flowers delivered.
Well it seems there has been some success with Mr A. Do hope things will progress more easily for you now,
Sweeptpeasue I’m ok today. Everything seems to be working which is good. How are you and DH doing. Have you got Fluffball this week.?
Scaeedycat I’m so sorry for your friend. What a situation to be in being so poorly with her husband on end of life care she must wonder why she’s going through all this.
HVDY oh dear poor Lg. Have you and more news? I hope she’s ok.m what a worry for you all.
Ellie Anne that is very odd behaviour. Your Dh doesn’t seem to be very empathetic or care about anyone. What a sad lonely existence for you both. I wish you had more in common you could talk about but he doesn’t seem interested.
nadateturbe nice to have you popping in.
I’m really tired tonight. I stayed up too late last night but really must try and go earlier tonight.

tuck up warm and have a glass of something nice an an early night x

Wyllow3 Hope things re Mr A progress as you'd like them to.

LG (and her mum, of course) went home this afternoon. She's been given 2 inhalers, to use with a "spacer", and a week of steroid tablets. I remember having all this with Son2 (LG's dad) from him being 9 months old.

Hope everyone has a restful night x

And did it settle down for Son2 a bit?

Last night was different. for months it's been despair coming up, helplessness against something seemingly intractable. (ie, if MrA wouldn't own up, if people believed him, yet terrible distress, what way out, etc etc)

Last night was more -not despair, but thinking through best outcomes and how to get them. A lot depends on me handling it effectively and skilfully interpersonal-wise.

I'd overdone it yesterday so taking it easy today and my birthday 'Arica Palm house plant has just arrived. Son bless got a largish one, perfect condition. It's one of the top plants to cleanse the air.

(or perhaps I'm returning to my 1970's roots)

That’s a nice plant willow.
I’m needing a plant to replace one that died. Your room looks lovely and bright.
Dd at the clinic today. The wound is clean and she can drive so really no need for me to stay. She spends most of her time in her room anyway. I will speak to her later and decide what to do.

Hi all
Willow- it seems that at last MrA has taken on board everything that you have been so distressed about and is beginning to understand what is required of him. You have fought as good fight and the results will benefit others who may suffer the same in the future.
That’s a nice looking plant and a great asset to your home and health.
Sweetpeasue - thank you for the hug. Yes it was so so sad and it’s difficult to find any hope in the situation. Hope your day is going as well as it can.
HVDY- ah glad LG is back home. It must have been a bewildering time for her. Your previous experience with childhood asthma must give your DiL confidence when she needs help.
Doodle- church day has come round again. Hope you,ve not got too wet.
Hope you had a good sleep after your late night.
My Son is arriving today - can’t wait for a big old hug. He is here for 6 nights so I may be absent some days!!
EllieAnne- that’s good news about DD - it must have been a shock for her if it was her cat. Don’t drive home if the weather is awful. Take care if you do.
Nadateturbe- so nice to have had some visits from you.

Take care all- old and new BDs

Wyllow3 Son2 is almost 42, still Asthmatic (controlled by inhalers), but has the most appalling Eczema. That's a lovely plant. I'm hopeless at keeping them - I either over-water or neglect them.

ScaredyCat How wonderful to have your son around for a while. Enjoy your time with him.

Hope everyone is ok on this dreary and wet day x

HVDY So glad LG is back home. Such a shame she has the Asthma but its good you can offer really good help having experienced it with sons. Both my sons had eczema though it disappeared when they left childhood. Son 1 needed inhaler too. Eczema is such a horrible thing.
Wyllow What Scardycat said really. You've worked so hard to bring Mr A to task and I so hope it all turns out well enough for you. Things are happening now and hopefully Mr A will understand his actions were not be tolerated. Nice plant there - you will get much pleasure from it Im sure.
Scaredycat Hurray - your son is coming to stop for a little while.☺️ Thats wonderful. Just enjoy every moment with him.
Doodle Hope youve been OK today and enjoyed your church activities. We dont have Fluffball this week. DIL is on leave from work now to look after her mum. We have said we can take Fluffball whenever she needs us to.
EllieAnne You have done amazing to travel down there to your DDs aid to take over the cat care. Im amazed your DH didnt ask if you'd got there OK. I can certainly understand how it must hurt when he hasn't asked after his DD. Look after yourself - you dont realise how much you are worth to your AC and DGC.
Nadateturbe Hoping you are keeping ok.

Such bad day yesterday. Arrived for DHs steroid injection and this young nurse wouldnt do it- said it doesnt work for nerve damage. We told her that the Rheumatologist ( director of Rheumatology!) had said he was going to try it. After waiting for Rheumatologist to arrive and put things right - 2hrs- she did the injection.

V good news today. Appt at Rapid Access Cest Pain Clinic - saw great nurse and told her of DHs worsening attacks. She must have been more than a nurse as she had the authority to put DH down for a stent v quickly ( said would be within2/4 weeks). She said it DHs pain doesnt go after taking the spray twice we've to immediately call 999. At last . Asked us when his angina had started we told her over 18mths ago. Took her the letter from the private Cardiologist so she understood everything though she already had it.
Got home to find 2 letters for the appt for this morning!

Hoping everyone is ok and thinking also of those not in.x

HVDY pleased to hear Lg is home now. Sorry about your son eczema is not nice to cope with. Does he have any meds that help. I’m asthmatic too. I take tablets and inhalers to control mine but they work well.
Wyllow lovely plant. Hope you’ve had a more peaceful and calm day.
Ellie Anne remember it was you your DD turned to when she needed help. Pleased she’s healing well.
Scaredycat yes church today. Lovely service. It’s church knitting tomorrow afternoon so I will have to hurry there from art. Not a nic day at all weather wise but great for you with your son arriving. Hope you had several big hugs. Nice to have him home for a few days.
Sweetpeasue good news at last. What a difference when you get a proper professional. Not so good with the rheumatology injection. I hope she apologised for making you wait so long.
Hope your DH’s spirits have lifted a bit now that some action is being taken.

Oh my Scaredycat may your 6 special, precious days go well with DS.

Thats a mixed bag, Sweetpeasue, yesterday and today. Now they have made it absolutely clear about 999. (massive hug). It must be helpful for DH to have heard that? (iirc, he has been unwilling at times for something like that?). I'm glad the stent is close and could provide some real relief x

I like the idea of a morning of art then hurrying to knitting, Doodle, as I should be doing exactly that or close. (Next Monday I try out an art group). What do you knit? Is it a joint project (like squares) or individual?

I'm sorry to hear about son's Eczema HVDY, horrible thing to have. what did you get up to today?

Whenever you travel, Ellie Anne, take care now. I hope you can have a reasonable goodbye conversation with DD - it would be a plus. Nevertheless, you were there for her when she needed it x
The Arica palm is inexpensive, you could get one, a very large one actually, relatively cheaply that one (55cm high including the pot) was only £24 ish

Erm....my room isnt quite that light/bright - I tweaked the picture show the palm off at its best!

Sweetpeasue That was a helpful appointment today, although a 2 hour wait wasn't. But some good progress. Being told to ring 999 was reassuring. And the stent, hopefully done soon, should make a difference. I'm sure you felt like crying with the relief of feeling that you were being heard and your DH was being given the care he so badly needs. x

HVDY I'm glad LG is home, but poor child, having to cope with asthma. At least you will be on hand with advice and help from looking after your son. Did your son's ease as he got older? My son isn't as bad now, his eased over last few years- he's 54.
I can't imagine anything worse than Thatcher's face staring down at you in bed!
Do you have to hand BP readings in to your GP regularly?

Doodle it must be so hard coping with doing things alone instead of having your dear husband to turn to. Giving you a hug.x And so shocking what the hospital was like. The nurses are of course wonderful, there just aren't enough. I admire how kind and patient they are, no matter how busy. It was good he got to the hospice. I remember you talking about sitting peacefully outside with him.
I used charcoal pencils, much easier to work with.
I hope you had a good sleep last night. You were very tired.

Sweetpeasue, I will see if my keyboard does that. I buy books of tunes and try to play.. I tried learning about 10 yrs ago with my best friend. She picked it up much quicker which made me very grumpy. 😃
I hope the appointment goes well today. It must be very scarey for your DH getting the tight chest feeling all the time. And for you too.

Scaredycat I'm amazed at how well you cope. I think I would find having AF all the time, worse. Its hard coping with the possibility of things that might happen, and trying not to dwell on it.
It must be heartbreaking to see your friend so ill with her poor husband on end of life care. Just unbelievably sad for them both. So hard to understand suffering sometimes. I know it must be very tiring, but it's good you can be with her so much.

How lovely having your son visiting! Enjoy every minute. 😊
( I'm very impressed with your mum. You seem to have a very musically talented family!)

Just read about your son's eczema HVDY. My best friend suffered all her life, often in hospital. Its an awful thing to have. I have psoriasis which oddly enough is more treatable.

EllieAnne I'm glad your DD is on the mend. Perhaps you could stay a while longer and have some mother/daughter time. Talk to each other. Is there really a need to rush home? Has your husband rung yet to ask how things are?.

Sorry Sweetpeasue two separate appointments, oops!

So thankful for your posts to me about DHs appts. Just wanted you all to know.
Been so v depressed and felt extremely low.
Will reply to you all tomorrow. Xx

SweetpeaSue Stupid woman yesterday. I hope she apologised. Good news from the appointment today. It's about time! Hope your husband will soon get the stent done.

Doodle Son2 has got 2 inhalers. His Eczema is very problematic. He's got a few prescribed creams, but is allergic to Hydrocortisone. His skin looks like awful scalds, particularly around his neck, hands and limbs. Glad you enjoyed the church service today.

Wyllow3 I've been lazy. An hour on the 'phone with one friend at lunchtime, then almost 2 hours with another friend this evening. (We all love to chat). You've got a nice big window in your room.

EllieAnne Glad your daughter is doing well.

nadateturbe Son2 was in and out of hospital a LOT, as a child (12 tmes in 1 year when he was about 3) but then we got an invaluable GP who allowed me to keep a supply of steroid tablets at home, so that I could start treatment and avoid going to A&E. He was about 13 when he last went into hospital. I was a fan of Mrs Thatcher, so didn't mind it . My GP has been increasing my Ramipril, so I have to hand in readings after each increase - I'm now on 10mg, but I expect it'll be increased again. Average reading is 141/78. How are you feeling? Have you been able to do much recently?

Off to bed - LG will be here tomorrow as DIL is going to work (although only from home). Hope everyone has a nice night's sleep x

Nadateturbe there is no reason to rush back but my friends and activities are there
No he hasn’t been in contact.
I love mydd but she is difficult.spends most of her time in the bedroom and doesn’t eat regularly. Takes most food up to her bedroom.
I’m left on my own most of the day,
There is no tv .
She is much cleverer than me and I irritate her.

EllieAnne I'm sorry. You deserve so much better. You are a very caring mother and wife. Sending hugs. . At least you have friends and things to do at home. Drive carefully. Hope you get another hair appointment soon.. xx

EllieAnne Your daughter seems to have MH problems, is that correct? You're a good mum. You drive all that way and help out. I wish you had a happier life but I'm glad you've got friends and things to do near to home.

It's a drizzly day. Off to soft play soon. LG seems a lot better. I should sy she wasn't alone in hospital, of course -DIL stayed there (as I used to with Son2). She's given me instructions on what to do if LG is unwell today . I smile and nod. Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day x

That made me smile HVDY - DiL instructions.
I'm glad LG is feeling a bit better.
Your son's eczema must be so difficult, poor guy. It was bad enough coping with the condition but I remember when my psoriasis was really bad, the reactions I got from people was horrible. I would hope there's more understanding now.

Stopped at tebay services for a cuppa and toilet. Drive not too bad except for rain.
We parted on good terms.
I’m undecided whether to say anything to him or not .
I don’t care that he hasn’t contacted me. That’s normal.
But feel he should have messaged dd.

nadateturbe I wouldn't ever try to advise DIL on anything. . Son2's skin is absolutely terrible. I've bought different types of creams and given them to him, but he hasn't tried any of them. He refuses to go to the GP or ask to be referred back to the Dermatologist again. When my Rosacea was at its worst, I got some unkind reactions (impossible to hide on the face), but my skin is smooth nowadays, just red.