Black Dogs 28

Drove down yesterday . Fog on the A66 then heavy rain on the m1. Not nice.
Dd had op yesterday and came home later. It’s her dominant hand so she can’t do much and can’t drive. I don’t know how long I will stay.
I’ve a hairdresser appointment on Thursday but will cancel it today in case I don’t get back. It gives her a chance to fill the space.
My d in L is overweight and takes the injections. She is diabetic. It worked great at first but not so well now

That middle bit was for Scaredeycat

It's been horrible weather, hasn't it, Ellie Anne? I do hope it goes as well as it possibly can down there. Not the sort of weather for "nice drives out" except for cafes.

I woke after a good long sleep rather lonely and of course still lurgified, but know where the lonely came from:

I'd decided, when in hospital, to speak my true mind on MrA matters from now on, not worry about "what the other person thinks" " will I lose them as a friend", "what will quakers think" trying to please all at the cost of being true to myself

Anyway the one I know agrees most, L, is due to come around to do a shop for me at 10am, I am so very grateful, as I have run out of a number of key foods, and she's a busy lady, but hope she has 15 mins for a little natter at the end, as she hasn't been to my house yet.

Wyllow3 Glad you're home. Hospitals aren't the best places for rest. SIL has got Delirium (caused by infection and dehydration). I had it when I was in hospital - saw things that definitely weren't really there. Brother won't visit on his own as he finds it too far to walk from the entrance to the ward and back (prosthetic leg), so I've pushed him in a wheelchair. I hope the lady did your shopping and managed to have a chat with you this morning.

EllieAnne You're a good mum. Glad your daughter has had the operation ok. She'll be happy to have your help. To get the jabs on the NHS, patients must meet the criteria of 4 out of the following 5 conditions - BMI of 40 or more, Diabetes, cardiovascular disease, Hypertension, high cholesterol, sleep apnoea. I've got 2 of those things.

LG came at 8, but was coughing so much and was so listless. I messaged DIL at 10, and she came and took her home. Had my nails done, collected my prescription, handed in BP readings to GP, hoovered and mopped through downstairs. Hope everyone is ok x

HVDy- Zante will be lovely. The Greek Islands are gorgeous.
Yes the anti coagulants are to protect against a stroke one of the big risks with AF.I take Bisoprolol for heart rate too.
Don’t blame you for not considering the weight loss jabs. You are loving proof that you can safely and successfully lose weight changing your diet. Hope LG is Ok .
SweetPeaSue- thank you it was very nerve wracking never knowing when AF would Kick Off.
Hope DH appt goes well on Wednesday 🤞 you get a different nurse. But if you don’t she owes you the biggest apology.
Doodle- that was a difficult subject- you probably had hands like a miner when you,d finished!!
Your DH did not deserve such treatment. Thank goodness he was able to experience the gentleness and kindness when he needed it most. Glad you had some peaceful time at the Hospice on Sunday.
Wyllow- glad you’re home safe after that good sleep.That young lady Doc will become a much loved asset in that hospital.. what a warrior you were too!!! Speaking your true mind will help you I think. You are a kind respectful person so will always have regard for peoples feelings. But you are not responsible for all reactions. Peace of mind is so important for you.
You’re right the lack of Oxygen is what makes me so tired.
Glad L is doing your shopping and hope she has time for a chat afterwards. So glad you have someone nice like her to help.
EllieAnne- Poor DD. It,ll be a while before she can work again I guess. You are such a good Mum it’s not easy to drive a long way in Winter. It’s a great chance for you to spend a bit of time together. Take care.

Now off to see my lovely friend who is so poorly.
Love to allxxx

Yes HVDY I had a lovely chat with my friend and a full enough fridge at last. Lots of soups and stuff.

(I had an hour of minor delirium but realised what it was. In the room there was one lovely long photo - the sun rising through trees and leaves, and in the foreground, lots of flowers and heather. For an hour or so I watched the flowers sway in the breeze, it was quite delightful)

I think you did the best thing to call DiL for LG to go home. You've done well to use the time productively. I can see why it's more difficult for brother but I'm sure he'd be helped if he asks others for help - but he's not going to change, is he? You love to put things right for others but you've come up against something that can only be accepted?

Just missed you, Scaredycat. Very frustrating as you know the limits you need to live within but what a change from the past.
I hope it goes as well with lovely friend as it might.

ScaredyCat We've previously been to Corfu, Crete and Rhodes and enjoyed them (Rhodes old town was full of stray cats, though, poor things). You're so kind to visit your friend who is so ill.

Wyllow3 Have you got an oximeter? The thing to put on a finger that measures Oxygen levels. 95-100% is fine. 90-94% would warrant a doctor's advice, and anything below 90% would need hospital treatment. Mine's usually about 97%. My brother hates asking for help (and there isn't always anyone around at the hospital he could ask). The delirium I had was odd and lasted for a week or more - I saw Margaret Thatcher's face looking down on me (it turned out to be a fire sprinkler) and a cardboard cutout of a nurse was actually the handwashing station. I also felt certain that the patient in the bed opposite was a transvestite, but she was an ordinary woman. Odd.

I think my short delirium was somewhat nicer than yours.

My sis has bought me an oximeter so you were spot on.
..and will show me properly on Thursday and yes it was in the late 80's.

Your SiL's hospital may have a volunteer crew who would assist - But only worth ringing if he'd take to it.

Wyllow3 I'd thought, believed that a doctor was living at my house whilst I was in hospital, and that one woman on the ward had invited me to go out with her and her sister, for tea . Your Oxygen was 80-odd . Did they put you on Oxygen? My brother wouldn't do that.

How's everyone else been today? x

Evening my friends. I’ve had a full on day battling with installation of my new broadband supplier and installation of new router. Brought me close to tears thinking of how much easier my life was with Dh it’s me.
It’s not a major deal but when you’re on your own molehills become mountains. I’m fine now but so tired forgive me a brief hello this evening.
Wyllow I’m glad you’re home. Hope you feel better soon.
Ellie Anne you’re a great mum to do that journey you hate to help your DD. Hope she is on the mend.
Sweetpeasue hope you and your Dh ok.
HVDY hope LG is ok. Lots of bugs going round.
Scaredycst your friend must have been pleased to see you. Hope it didn’t upset you too much.

Hello Doodle it's those exhausted stressful times when it really hits you, doesn't it? No one to share, support and also 2 lots of different useful knoweldge and skills. Course it made you weep.

(Yes I had to wear an Oxygen mask for 2 days and one night, then all the time I was there one of those up the nose things till the last day. I'd still go for my Wind rustling in the Heather delusions rather than a tea invite )

Doodle All the little things you miss. It's no wonder you felt so upset. . Not heard any more about LG, but I hope the inhaler helped her. Her dad, Son2, is Asthmatic.
Wyllow3 That must have been scary for you. Glad you're feeling quite a bit better now. I thought I was going a bit mad .

Just had a message from DIL - they're at the hospital with LG and will be keeping her in overnight

I do understand how difficult it must be to deal with everything on your own when you have had so many years of sharing things . But I have someone who doesn’t seem to have the ability to share things or even care
On Sat when I got the message from dd I was quite shocked so I paused the tv and told him and his reaction was that our cat has bitten him and it was ok.
I left really early sun morning so didn’t see him but there’s been no text or anything to see if I got here ok or how she is. He s not been in contact with her either but that’s not unusual. He just doesn’t seem to care about anyone.

Have you ever sat down and really challenged him?

I know we've asked before, but is there really no way of splitting up? You know you can instigate a No Blame divorce and not have to "prove' anything? At least spend the free half hour you can get with a solicitor asking advice - "how can I afford" etc etc".

This song had me weeping in a healing way in hospital, I was so lonely and poorly.

Joan Baez. Her voice soars amazingly as she talks about travelling to where the voices of joy and hope run deep. (you'll need to look up the. lyrics in full for it all but the last stanza is

For you and I are one way ticket
Holders on a one-way street
Which lies across a golden valley
Where the waters of joy and hope run deep

"https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMuarnr5J28&list=RDjMuarnr5J28&start_radio=1

"In Joan Baez's song "Blessed Are the Midnight Riders," from her 1971 album Blessed Are..., the phrase refers to those who are on a spiritual or life journey, often through hardship ("one way ticket holders on a one way street"), finding solace and rest in faith or quiet reflection ("in the shadow of God they sleep"), embracing vulnerability and shared human experience, even amidst pain and loss, suggesting universal suffering ("what comes to one must come to us all") and finding blessings in the end"

Reposting the reference to the song

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMuarnr5J28&list=RDjMuarnr5J28&start_radio=1

Thanks Wyllow3.x

Today is my birthday.....3/4 of a century!!!!

(I know you can beat that, Scaredycat)

I had a bad night, due to fears and all the ususal night wotsits one gets came out as the mediators are coming at 1pm to prepare for the Thursday where at last I confront MrA

...but much cheered by a lovely bunch of flowers from DocSis arrived before I even got up.
I do have to get dressed and drive to corner shop, as I forgot important items from friends shop yesterday,

oooo, An Outing.

Oh how lovely of your sister to send the flowers
Wyllow3 . I bet that really lifted you.
I hope you manage to celebrate in some way. Be careful going out! Wrap up well.
Sending birthday wishes your way. 💐 🎂
(I'm soon reaching the 3/4 too)

Sorry haven't posted to everyone recently.

Hi all
Wyllow- HAPPY BIRTHDAY - you youngster!🎂🍸🍸💐💐
Hope you have a good day- lovely to have flowers to greet you.
So pleased your friend stayed for a chat. That’s so what you need - friendly faces and company. Not all the time but so important for well being.
My friend felt very poorly - the Chemo is physically debilitating and of course her mind is in turmoil with her DH on end of life care.
I was interested in your delirium - after the accident I used to watch the Lladro Nuns on my cupboard glide up and down!
I love Joan Baez voice and Bob Dylan too- memories of youth.
HVDY- will be interested to hear about Zante as we have been to the 3 you mention.
So sorry LG is in Hospital- the nurses must love her. Hope she’s home again soon. It must be a worrying condition when children are small. My GD 2 who is a nurse was left with Asthma after Covid and has just been quite poorly.
Doodle- Ah what a day you had. It’s inevitable that feeling of frustration not being able to share things like that with DH. Hope it’s all up and running well now.
Yesterday I felt very upset on the way home from my friend. She was feeling so bad - not moany but just poorly and she looked it too. But we had a chat and a cuppa and another mutual friend came. I gave her a lift home and we both felt so sad- it’s terrible.
EllieAnne- you must feel so alone- it’s horrible to feel alone when you actually live with someone who appears to have no emotion at all. Your DH seems to be bereft of any normal feelings.
I,m afraid I feel like Wyllow - you need your life back.

Love to all - have the best day you canxx

Happy birthday, Wyllow3