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Black Dogs 28

(1001 Posts)
Wyllow3 Thu 01-Jan-26 15:19:00

This is a continuation of Black Dogs 27, which you can view the end of on
www.gransnet.com/forums/health/1352125-Black-Dogs-27?msgid=31453500#31453500

to continue and to get a flavour of this long term space.

*Welcome to Black Dogs 28*:

Its supporting those of us who wish to talk about our mental health problems quite deeply at times: and share aspects of our lives supportively, give and take support.

All are welcome: don't be put off by some of us being there long term, people do come and go.

EllieAnne Tue 24-Feb-26 13:42:18

Wyllow can you remind me of the vitamins you recommended

Scaredycat Tue 24-Feb-26 17:05:17

Hi all
SweetPeaSue- so sorry your tiredness is overwhelming you- you are wise one day at a time is the way to go. Thinking too far into the future and anticipating all that could go wrong is exhausting.
Even though it will take a lot of physical effort a trip out withDH however small will do you good. The w

Scaredycat Tue 24-Feb-26 17:33:40

Sorry!! SweetPeaSue. The weather is lovely today and Spring is in the air- hope it is where you are too.
Doodle- isn’t it lovely bumping into loved ones unexpectedly- like a surprise present.
Bed changing is exhausting- we do it together- that is after turfing out the boys who love an hour in the morning before getting up.
I,m on Sertraline too and it has helped me so much. The other day my DD said to me please never stop taking it! She opened up about how she felt when I was at my worst.
Today we have been to see our friend - she was in a much better mood . The first time in ages and a tiny glimpse of the person she used to be- very small but so welcome.
Wyllow- So nice for you to have a chat with somebody who understood you. Ah poor F- sometimes people are so wrapped up in themselves they can’t see what’s under their noses- you are a good friend to her.
Glad the eye drops are helping already- perhaps your eyes were affecting your balance a bit.
Don’t feel guilty at just speaking your mind. I think you are very mindful of peoples feelings.
Hope the Gym was fun today and you’re soon pedalling away on your new bike.
HVDY-I bet the big old cat is lovely- the bigger the better. My GD1 s little cat once brought in a bat!! Shouldn’t think that was very tasty.
Ah LG chatting to herself at bedtime- everything you say about her brings her so alive- she’s delightful.
Fingers crossed for the Lung function test results- at least you had some day left . Hope you enjoyed your lunch..
EllieAnne- so wish there was a way to alleviate your loneliness.
Some sound advice from Wyllow- she speaks with much experience.

I,m so tired again- think it’s wearing me out a bit with all that’s going on with our friends. So it was good to see my friend
less agitated and angry this morning. Kai wasn’t well yesterday so I got scared but he’s better today so cancelled the Vets appt I,d booked in a bit of a panic. Tomorrow we,re off to Stepsons and Wife as it’s DH Birthday on Thursday so there should be some cake involved.😀We are taking our friend for her post chemo appt on Thursday then out in the evening. No wonder I,m half asleep. I,m not moaning though - that’s life.

Love to allxx

HowVeryDareYou2 Tue 24-Feb-26 19:12:38

Wyllow3 What's causing your dizziness? Hope your nephew gets your bike done.

HowVeryDareYou2 Tue 24-Feb-26 20:36:25

ScaredyCat A bat! I'm terrified of them (and birds when they flap about). I'm glad your friend was calmer today. It's awful when they're agitated and can't say why. Birthday cake is great. Hope your husband has a good birthday and you have a nice meal out for it. You're very kind to your friends (and on your husband's birthday, too). No wonder you're tired - you're so busy.

SweetpeaSue, Doodle and everyone else - how have you been?

I had soup and bread at lunchtime. A friend (Son1's original ex) rang for 90 minutes, then a friend from the day centre rang for another hour and a half. We all love yapping grin x

Doodle Tue 24-Feb-26 20:37:00

Scaredycat I’m glad you notice the change with having meds. Helps me too. Be nice to visit your stepson and his wife, happy birthday to your Dh for Thursday.
Sweetpeasue it’s hard being in pain and being tired a lot. I think you have been through a roller coaster of emotions for a long time and are worn out.
Wyllow sorry about your health problems. Glad you’ve got the antibiotics
HVDY good thing it wasn’t Jaffa with the mouse. Leased to hear your tests were ok at the hospital. Hope you had a nice lunch with your friends.
Sorry for short post. I’ve been out and didn’t get back till late. Only just finished dinner and I’m very tired.

Wyllow3 Tue 24-Feb-26 22:08:08

EllieAnne

Wyllow can you remind me of the vitamins you recommended

Wellwoman 70 plus is a great generic gives you all the basics. Also, take Vitamin D extra on top of that its the sunshine vitamin)
You can get both on Amazon or in most supermarkets.

Wyllow3 Tue 24-Feb-26 22:21:30

Lovely to read you along post, Scaredycat - it doesn't surprise me what with the funeral and the distress of whats happening with your friends you are feeling really tired. Put yourself on Temporary Rest Leave with treats and cat cuddles and don't worry, 2 days off will not stop a walk on day 3.

Yes, my dizziness was greatly improved at the gym where I surprised myself by working hard. Stress, I think: the anti b's are kicking in so good - the exercise, as ever, is so good mental health wise - no chat especially just hellos with old contacts, just general ones. a long afternoon sleep, which means when I wake I have some energy.

The Safeguarding officers are deciding tonight what will happen to MrA after speaking to the head person at HQ.
Well, they were supposed to feedback tonight: but I have a feeling it is going to be very difficult for them. I would prefer they do have to take a lot of time.

Wyllow3 Tue 24-Feb-26 22:22:56

HVDY - nothing like a good yapping grin. And unplanned ones so much the better.

I hope you are OK, Doodle.

Thinking of absent BD's, take care now xx

HowVeryDareYou2 Wed 25-Feb-26 08:16:39

I woke up after dreaming I was madly in love with Liam Gallagher, and he was lovely. (In real life, I can't stand him or his brother and their music). I'm told old for this grin, but it was very nice. Not much today, but will get washing on the line. Hope ALL BDers manage to have a decent day x

Sweetpeasue Wed 25-Feb-26 18:18:59

Scaredycat Hope youve enjoyed your visit to stepson and wife. So many opportunities for cake with a large family! Hope you're less tired and please dont think you ever moan. You have much to cope with and it must be so bleak seeing your friend's distress. So glad she wasnt agitated yesterday with the illness.
Wyllow Good the antibiotics have kicked in - theyre like miracle meds. Do hope that Safeguarding can give you some reassurance about Mr A and you dont have to face him coming back to your meetings. Hope your nephew managed to get your bike together- have you been on it yet?
HVDY You made me laugh about your dream - they can be so weird cant they. Oh dear- Liam Gallagher! Aww LG talking herself to sleep . I remember my DGD waking in her cot and her hair being like a huge birdsnest - so innocent.
Doodle Hope youve been with company today. You are spot on about the tiredness and Fibro doesnt help. I know Ive much to be thankful for so I need to get a grip somehow.
EllieAnne I hope youve been able to get out for a walk today. The weather has been kinder here last couple of dys though quite windy.

Still tired but I did make myself get out yesterday - it wasnt a jolly ,it was to look at cars . We've ended up with an MG ( not sports car) which well pick up Friday. Was after arranging test drive in a Sandero but looked in garage nearby and we quite liked this silver small SUV- I sat in it. Car salesman was obvs keen and suggested test drive which DH did. DH was in his element and it was nice to see him so enthusiastic about something so I didnt 'rain on his parade' . Its all been so daunting and I hadn't realised just how terrified Id been each morning - putting off looking for them and disappointing DH by doing so. I woke this morning without the sense of doom Ive had and like a weight has been lifted.
We didnt 'haggle' -- I wouldnt know how- and got next to nothing for DHs old car but just relieved its over.

After sorting ins out we went for walk by the sea. Just 15mins but nice though dark.

Hope everyone has had a reasonable day. Sending love also to Nadateturbe Hope you're alright and are coping.x

Doodle Wed 25-Feb-26 20:02:26

HVDY sounds like a very interesting dream. Hope you didn’t fall out of bed in excitement.
Wyllow I’m fine just very tired. From talking with friends it seems to be something to do with grief. It’s a common topic of conversation between us how tired we are all the time.
Good the antibiotics are helping. Hope you get positive feedback from the safeguarding team soon.
Scaredycat hope you had a good day with your stepson and wife. Did you go for a meal anywhere.
Sweetpeasue glad you’ve found a new car that suits. Hope it’s a good buy and you can relax a bit now. How lovely to have a walk by the sea.
Long morning at church with out lent course but it was nice. Afternoon with the jigsaw.

Sweetpeasue Wed 25-Feb-26 22:55:25

Thankyou Doodle the car thing is a huge thing off my chest. My own Fusion might now be able to go to garage to be fixed as its had all sorts of rattles. Hope you got the jigsaw well underway. X

Wyllow3 Thu 26-Feb-26 10:57:14

Apologies for not being in yesterday. It was the day from hell: while I was waiting for a reply from Safeguarding, and feeling increasingly wobbly as no response:

I was waiting in all day from 7.30 a, till 4 for MrChimney, who pointed the chimney last summer, but missed a bit, as now my front bedroom has not only a large patch of damp, but a large mushroom growing in the ceiling/top of wall split. And I doubt the supporting timbers have got off lightly. It's a nightmare, as there is no loft access to check the timbers, I have an internal room built in.

He never turned up! he is coming on Friday morning. I was so tried all I wanted to do after 1pm was go to bed so I forced myself to stay up.

At 10pm at night I found the reply re Safeguarding and MrA returning to the meeting and what is to happen to him. It was pretty satisfactory but needed tweaks: I found myself writing a long screed (as ever) but overnight after extra meds woke up knowing exactly what to write. So just have.

They are suggesting he comes back I in 4 meetings only for months, and in the meantime he is engaged with as to his attitudes, and X,Y,Z to happen as regards Adult Safeguarding going forward.
The intervention of the national Quaker had a big impact. I dont think they would have gone with the banning otherwise, frankly.

I desperately need to get out today so it will be the gym to do whatever possible.

I was so very very pleased that you have the car at last, Sweetpeasue. something comfy, reliable, safe. Good on you both. Ah, man meets car and takes to said car and perks up - a well worn tradition! the sea, the sea, I'll be able to see it when I go to see sis, its about 10 days away now.

I can understand that tiredness, Doodle. You are fighting a constant internal battle when part of you doesn't really feel motivated to keep on keeping on, and sometimes dealing with the emotional clumsiness of others, although your friendship choices mainly - well, they are spot on Doodle and a credit to your sensible and sound impulses.

HVDY my goodness, never too old, never too old grin. I agree about the unsuitable choice, however. I want a hero somewhere in their early to mid 60's, fit, a hero, for any dreams.

Wyllow3 Thu 26-Feb-26 15:59:24

Rick Astley?

Having been up at night writing, all I have been able to do today is walk round the supermarket, dizzy, legs wobbly and now sitting in Costa. I have been obliged to resort to sugar (one of their muffins) which I rarely do. (its like consuming calories for hot air and a two spoonfuls of sugar)

But I think that it's a sign I have reached a point where I don't need to keep on at it, so sort of collapsed in the forcing adrenaline department.

Scaredycat Thu 26-Feb-26 17:00:33

Hi all
HVDY- years ago in another house we had a bat fly into our kitchen and hung upside down under a fitted table!!! I put a tea towel over my head and managed to scare him out and out the door- you wouldn’t have enjoyed that😀😀
We,re out tonight for DH Birthday with DD and SiL. Hope I don’t fall asleep- took my friend to her post chemo hospital appointment while D H was having a Birthday catch up with his Gym buddies.
Liam Gallagher- you do pick ‘em!! Must have been fun though.
Doodle- yes it was nice seeing Stepson and wife. Had lovely hot chocolate and cakes and a long chat. It’s great that they live only half an hour away.
Wouldn’t it be lovely to not feel so tired. We,re all sounding tired for a variety of reasons my friend with cancer is absolutely exhausted- I can’t imagine how she must feel.
SweetPeaSue- yes it was nice to see my friend calmer and more convivial.She just wont join in with the other residents at all.
The new car sounds nice- hope you enjoy many happy miles of motoring- Lake District here we come eh!! I can imagine your DH with his happy’ new car face’.
Wyllow- what a frustrating day- he better turn up tomorrow or he’s toast!
It sounds like MrA has been dealt with pretty satisfactorily so now you can get off the hamster wheel and start enjoying things again.
Muffins exist to be nice to us - we all need a sugar hit sometime.
Never too old - but Rick Astley!! What about Denzil Washington ?
Nadateturbe - hope you’re doing OK
EllieAnne- hope you,ve been out and about a bit.

Love to all

Wyllow3 Thu 26-Feb-26 17:31:17

Of course Scaredycat - Denzil Washington is perfect. Age, heroic do gooder, makes things good for people, poignant past..(looker).....

I do hope you enjoy tonight, once you get going - you need a nice night out after al thats happening.

HowVeryDareYou2 Thu 26-Feb-26 18:02:48

SweetpeaSue Glad you managed to choose and buy a car. Nice that your husband was interested in it all. Will you drive it sometimes? We wouldn't know how to haggle for anything either. My husband got £211 from a scrapyard for his very old Mercedes, the other week. How are you both today?

Doodle What's the jigsaw of? Has it got a lot of pieces? How's your day been today?

Wyllow Rick Astley?? I like Idris Elba or Tom Hardy. Al Pacino in his younger days - gorgeous. I like the look of a big, bearded bloke in the garden centre the other day - until I realised he was younger than my sons! It sounds as though you've done everything you possibly can re MrA, and you need a break from it all. A muffin is always good.

ScaredyCat I'd have died if a bat came in - a pigeon once flew in, was bashing about all over, and I was home alone. I stood outside, and a neighbour came and got it out. She was in her 80s and very capable, whilst I stayed in the garden grin. Hope you have a lovely evening out. Happy birthday to your husband.

It was nice at the day centre place - beef stew and mash, then jam sponge & custard. The theme was "school days", so lots or reminiscing. It's rained almost all day here x

Sweetpeasue Thu 26-Feb-26 19:00:04

Wyllow What a disappointing day ,having to wait in for Mr Chimney- hed better come tomorrow. So glad Safeguarding are applying the rules for Mr A and the Quaker meetings. Sounds like it might be possible to avoid seeing him there. Costa's muffins are lovely though we've been sticking to their porridge- not the ones out of the fridge but the Jumbo Oats ones that are refrigerated. We ask for a little extra hot milk to thin it a little - its lovely, only 160 cals too.
Scaredycat Hope you have a lovely meal out with your DH and DD and SIL. Happy birthday to your DH. Yes we all do seem to get more tired now . I agree ,Denzil Washington is quite nice . You must have read our minds-- holiday booked for April in the nice house next to the field of sheep - hoping to see the lambs again.
HVDY Must have been interesting reminiscing school days at Day Centre- so different to now wasnt it? Ah so you might be visiting garden centres more often now! Idris Elba is really nice though. Glad were not the only ones that cant haggle. We knew we wouldnt get a lot for DHs Zafira90,000mls on clock, and DH had disconnected wires for ABS system to run it but we only got 300 for it. Its been a good car so it'll be sad its finished and we'll leave it there tomorrow.
Doodle Thanks, yes we hope the car's a good buy too.🤞.Never had one like that before so hope the parts aren't difficult to get. The salesman said they weren't but he would say that. Walk by the sea was on the stray, paved area, but sea was in and quite rough. Hope you,very been out today with friends. It will be better when the weather gets a bit warmer though. V windy here today.

Son had said best time to visit was lunch time today when his MIL would be awake. Made cheese scones ,thinking she might have a half but shes not eating at all now. DH had put together one of those models as she couldn't finish it ,so we took it and she loved it. Didnt stop too long as nurses arrived and we could see how tired she was. I left feeling so very sad and I remember those days of looking after my own mum- its so hard for my DIL - for many, many reasons. Son has got time off for a while .
DH had an 'episode' ( angina) this morning but hes been OK for a few dys. I thought hed be ok now. Appt came today for Cardiologist follow up ,its in April.
Take care everyone. Hope you're OK EllieAnne xx

Doodle Thu 26-Feb-26 19:03:41

wyllow so pleased things are going better with Mr A. Glad you are being listened to. Good you got out today. You need a break. I’ve been to art and knitting today so am very tired now.
HVDY I’ve never been able (or wanted to ) to haggle. I find it very awkward. The jigsaw is the big Japanese (I think) wave thing. I’m blue and cream. Very difficult
Scaredycat I hope your Dh has had a nice birthday today. Lovely you got to see your stepson and wife yesterday. Hot chocolate and cakes sound good, Have. Lovely meal tonight,
Sweetpeasue so pleased you’ve found a car you both like. Is it a nice colour. I don’t know anything about makes of cars so don’t know what it’s like but you obviously both liked this one.
So very tired tonight again. Going out with walking group I’m the morning. I think I’ll go to bed soon, sleep well all

Wyllow3 Thu 26-Feb-26 21:16:03

What a suitable meal for the schooldays theme, HVDY. yes, lot of material for nattering there, nice.

It is sad watching it happen, Sweetpeasue, I'm glad your DS could take some time off to support DiL. Is her Mum in a home and cared for? I'm sorry was one episode of angina...are they getting further apart? I hope there can be more bits of seaside visiting...and build up to the lakes again one day.

The famous wave painting would be very difficult Doodle - so many bits would be similarly patterned. I hope you don't get rained on for your walk, it was heavy here today.

The rain - not ideal for MrChimney tomorrow am. May not be able to get anywhere - he uses a drone to look at the area for a tiny ingress. But I must get to the gym after!

Sweetpeasue Thu 26-Feb-26 22:56:14

Doodle Car is a silver colour and a small SUV. Hope you have a nice walk tomorrow with walking group.
Wyllow Hope you manage Gym tomorrow. I know how much it helps you. DiLs mum is not in a home. She's been in Son's and DILs living room in special bed for last 2 weeks.

HowVeryDareYou2 Fri 27-Feb-26 11:43:27

SweetpeaSue The car sounds just right. Hope you both find it suitable. It's sad for your DIL. It's not easy to watch a loved one fade away like that.

Doodle Hope you're having decent weather to go out walking. It's been drizzling here since last night.

Wyllow3 Will your chimney man still be able to work in the rain?

I'm having a lazy day indoors. Think I've got Tonsillitis and had a very restless night. I've gargled with TCP (I love the smell and taste of it) and sent DH out for Paracetamol and a throat spray. Hope everyone is OK x

Scaredycat Fri 27-Feb-26 16:40:23

Hi all
HVDY- I,m with you on Al Pacino - lovely sad eyes. Thank you for DH Birthday wishes- we had a really nice evening.
Your Meal was so reminiscent of school days- I love custard.
Tonsillitis is so painful- hope the TCP and spray work and it’s soon gone. Don’t do too much.
SweetPeaSue- so pleased you,ve booked your lovely cottage. Something to look forward to and all those beautiful familiar places.
I quite like haggling and I,m better than DH . Don’t know why as some things freak me out but that’s not one of them. It’s always sad to say goodbye to an old car - I can’t look back at them when driving off in the new one.
How sad to see your Sons MiL slowly fading away. Being at home with her family hopefully gives her some comfort.
I expect it’s normal to have the occasional Angina pain- some days are more strenuous aren’t they. Good you have a date for the follow up now.
Doodle- Thursday is a productive day for you. Being tired because you,ve been doing nice things is not a bad feeling is it.
Thank youDH had a good day and we all enjoyed the meal in the evening.
Hope you had a good walk this morning. It’s a bit drizzly here but OK for walking.
Wyllow- hope Mr Chimney has been up there getting his work done today. Also hope you,ve had time to get to the Gym and have a good workout. Not too strenuous though! D H and his Gym buddies had coffee and eclairs yesterday at the Gym- really healthy😀
I googled the Wave painting - great colours but a killer for a puzzle.
Not long before you get to see real waves again!
EllieAnne- hope you have the best weekend you can. How are the kittens?
Nadateturbe- How is your day going?

Love to all - those mentioned and anyone who has visited.

Doodle Fri 27-Feb-26 19:56:31

Wyllow it is a really difficult jigsaw. Spent two hours in it th
Is afternoon and did four pieces. Hope you managed to get to the gym. I’m sure it does you good,
Sweetpeasue the car sounds nice hope you are both pleased with it. Must be so sad for you DIL to see her mum like this. Quite a strain for them both having her at home
HVDY sorry you’re not feeling too great. Hope the paracetamol helps. I think a day resting with the movies is a good idea.
Scaredycat glad you had a lovely meal . The puzzle is a nightmare. Yes went for our walk this morning. Only drizzled in our way home. Church cleaning tomorrow morning then going out for lunch.
Been really sad tonight. Had a bit of bad news ( nothing serious ) and of course I immediately miss Dh being here to talk to. It’s really got to me tonight as it does on occasions. I might indulge in a really large glass of wine.

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