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Black Dogs 29

(1001 Posts)
Wyllow3 Fri 03-Apr-26 22:25:08

This is a continuation of Black Dogs 28, which you can view the end of on

www.gransnet.com/forums/health/1354797-Black-Dogs-28?pg=40

to continue for those who've posted there before, and to get a flavour of this long term space.

*Welcome to Black Dogs 29*:

It's supporting those of us who wish to be able to share our mental health problems as they affect daily lives:and share aspects of our lives supportively, give and take support. Its been going for some time, so this is a jump in at the deep end

All are welcome: don't be put off by some of us being there long term, people do come and go.

Scaredycat Sat 27-Jun-26 11:56:45

Hi all
Well the boys are settled in to their holiday home, I felt sick leaving them but they are in very kind hands, The man and lady were lovely and the boys have a lot to watch with comings and goings. They have a lovely grey bengal cat as a neighbour.
So now it’s the dreaded car packing and it’s just as hot as ever. 🥵
Will be in touch when we have settled in. Please keep well and cool all of you. Love to allxx

Purplepixie Sat 27-Jun-26 16:40:16

Thanks for your kind words. I’ll get back soon. Not having a good day. X

Sweetpeasue Sat 27-Jun-26 18:46:01

HVDY Hope you managed to get something you ' really needed' in B&M. There's always something isnt there and so many bargains( why can I never resist chocolate aisle). Glad Jaffa is staying cool and is eating again.
My DH stopped the last statins he was on as we thought the pain might be those but it didnt make any difference. Got a feeling its not Fibromyalgia- theres def something wrong though.
Scaredycat Glad your boys are settled in. Its the first time upuve left them isn't it so you're bound to feel a little nervous but it really sounds like theyre in good hands. Hope by now the packing is finished and you can chill!

Sweetpeasue Sat 27-Jun-26 19:02:57

Doodle Somehow Magnums have ended up in my freezer and they've never been there before- Ive been late to the party on those. Hmm - Ive found my exercise bike is a good clothes horse too. Hope the choir was enjoyable today and you were cool in church.
Wyllow Might be best to draw a line under things with D. Did you enjoy your river walk ? Still very warm here but think theres a thunderstorm brewing. Yes, had cuddles off F today but only been around the block with her. Im sat out in cooler place in garden and shes suddenly gone silly doing the 'zoomies' . She ran off with the garden string while I was tying up Sweetpeas earlier. Right carry on trying to get it back and it was unravelling all over.

DH is worse today - walking very painful and will need to see GP next week. Something needs to be done.
Hope everyone else is OK * EllieAnne* * Purplepixie*
Some rumbles of thunder.
Sleep well all. Xx

Sweetpeasue Sat 27-Jun-26 20:06:27

HVDY Meant to say -- gorgeous photo. Jaffa is a beauty isnt he- lovely coat.xx

Doodle Sat 27-Jun-26 20:18:10

Wyllow. Trouble with walking is that my feet and ankles hurt as well as my knees. I tend to wobble all over the place as I walk. I’m scared of falling again so tend to take it slowly.
Well done you for keeping exercising it’s certainly good for you. I hope D doesn’t cause you any more problems and some sort of understanding can develop.
HVDY I bet all the family will live that pool. In this weather it will be a boon. Like you I did the ironing today then a shower and then a rest. We must be attuned. Jaffa is lovely.
Scaredycat I can understand how upset you are about leaving the boys. Are they in the same unit (cage)
Try and enjoy your holiday I’m sure they’ll be fine. Get your packing done and relax.
Purplepixie sending a hug for you.
Sweetpeasue sorry for all the pain and discomfort your Dh has. Wish they could pinpoint the cause, Hope you get an appointment for Monday. The choir were very good. Sadly no AC but they did have fans so not too bad. Home now and relaxing.

Wyllow3 Sat 27-Jun-26 21:39:41

Well done on the early chores, HVDY. I suppose if the heat goes on and on you could get one of those pet cooling mats.

It musty have been a real wrench, saying bye bye*Scaredycat*. As I try you will be on the boat having done the drive without melting hopefully. Bon Voyage, and look forward to hearing from you.

Hoping to hear from you very soon, PurplePixie, however you are.

It would be good to identify the source of the pain, Sweetpeasue May I ask, can he move enough to keep his knees.ankles/hip joints reasonably “well oiled”? Does it help when he walks a while or get worse?
I don’t mean loads of movement, but easy stretches and so on. The clothes horse exercise bike made me smile - I use mine for those too and only cycle now and then.
Ah - pet zoomiess - you were posting just when it was getting cooler, naughty Fluffball!!!!! Has Fluffball get toys she like to be grown and collect? Enjoy today’s Magnum.

I love a bit of “weather” but thunder without rain is annoying garden wise.

Aw Doodle. Feeling off balance must be very scary. Does it continue as you go on walking or not? Today I was looking up water retention generally for me but thought of you and got some tips weight wise.
Since you don’t like things like aqua, I can only think of very very light cycling.

But I was thinking generally today about MH and exercise. I think being active all my life has actually stopped much worse conditions - I have no doubt at all that especially at different times walking, swimming and yoga have prevented serious episodes.

Do other people notice that about exercise?

I did go for that early walk in the park - perfect temperature, shade, and looking for trout in the river - dogs and kids in the water…..then I surprised myself and heaved ho to the gym - met by a whoosh of cool so I did weights and some easy stretches. Usual Costa, short Sainsbugs shop, home.

I think....something has changed re D
I am not so afraid of her and any influence she might have anymore. She was so out of order but was not malicious in intent. I've "got her number" in significant regards?

I have a chance, Doodle to debrief with a one hour zoom with Safeguarding HQ lady week after next. Time to reflect.

I used to push things away or run away but now hope to learn by processing experiences.
And venture forward not knowing what the future holds.

HowVeryDareYou2 Sat 27-Jun-26 21:46:49

ScaredyCat Your boys will be fine. Have a relaxing holiday, enjoy yourselves.

SweetpeaSue I bought a tub of Haribo sweets for the kids, a lot of cleaning stuff, bird seed and cushions for the new bench I bought. Then Food Warehouse next door for ice creams and ice lollies (they are known as "suckers" in Nottingham). Too hot for chocolate. I hope you might be able to get a GP appt for your husband next week. Aww, Fluffball sounds so cute.

Doodle All the men were in the pool (DH, both sons, 2 friends) and 2of the kids, at different times. They enjoyed the water pistols, too. Glad you enjoyed your day today.

I'm still boiling hot, so I'm going to have a shower and go to bed early. Love to all x

Wyllow3 Sun 28-Jun-26 09:28:02

Its dawned cooler, 23 degrees expected. Maybe a spit of rain at 11am.

I''m off to Quakers hoping for no fall out: then the gym or a walk. Lots of people will head out for nearby fave beauty spots, so it's better to wait for Monday but on my list for must do soon.

I hope BD's have as good a day as possible in all your circumstances, and Scaredeycat is safely ensconced. See you all later.

HowVeryDareYou2 Sun 28-Jun-26 11:05:16

Wyllow3 Yes, it's a much more manageable temperature. It's just started raining here. Lovely. Hope you have a good day.

EllieAnne and PurplePixie how are you?

Hope ALL BDers are OK. x

Scaredycat Sun 28-Jun-26 14:40:31

Hi all
We had a good trip down to the ferry and the calmest of overnight crossings. Arrived in France this morning and now settled into the apartment. Both very tired as we didn’t sleep brilliantly despite it being very comfortable. It is a lovely coastline - and we are very near the beach.
Doodle- I understand the wobbles- I never had them til this year and like you don’t want to trip up.
The boys are in a double “room” so can cuddle up together.
They can see lots of the other cats so as they are both very nosy will like that.
Hope you, ve had a cooler church morning.
HVDY- so nice to see Jaffa- he is lovely.
I always end up with loads of cleaning stuff from B&M and I hate housework😀😀
Glad it’s cooler for you today. It is here too.
SweetPeaSue- obviously Magnums just sneak into freezers when you’re not looking- they hide in mine too!
I,m sorry about DH pain do hope you can get to see the Doc tomorrow.
Fluffball was only trying to help- not.
Wyllow- I so agree with you about exercise and how it helps your mental state. When my anxiety was really bad I used to walk loads and always felt better after. I told my Dr and he said it’s because it burns off the adrenaline that floods your body when you’re anxious.
I hope that your new way of thinking and processing things instead of dodging them will do you the good I believe it will.
Starting with D . Then boldly go where no one has gone before!!!!
Love to all and hope EllieAnne and Purple Pixie are managing OK

Sweetpeasue Sun 28-Jun-26 15:03:07

Wyllow Pleased you have that hr with Quaker Safeguarding next week.
Oh you really put a lot in yesterday .
Hope it was OK today at Quakers. I think if the meeting goes well today you'll feel more comfortable for future ones too.
DH has pain in right hip when he walks and sits- it makes no difference to how it is after movement.
Yes, F has a squeaky furry lamb which comes with her everywhere.
Doodle Oh your poor knees and feet. Im sorry its all making it so difficult to walk and affecting your balance. I thought it might be cooler in church. Its been so very hot in the south where you are though. Hope its not been too bad today .
HVDY There's always something in B&M isn't there-- my DGD loves it. DGS and step DGD love Haribos.
Will try to get the same GP we have started to go to for DH. Glad its cooled down there.

Went to a costa this morning - F came with us and whined for 5 mins ( cringe) before she realised the chew stick thing was all she was going to get and started eating that. Took her back to son's at half 12. Didnt stop - he was worse for wear after being out with his mates.
Feeling so low about DH 's pain. I really thought after all this time and pushing to get the other problems sorted ,hed get a break.

Wishing all apeaceful night. Xx

Wyllow3 Sun 28-Jun-26 15:05:43

Have an easy day now then - just take in the sea air and beach and food...will you dare to go into the sea? My memory is (tho this was the very very tip of Britanny - Near Le Conquet -Crystal clear water so you could see your toes and the shells on the sea floor.

Sweetpeasue Sun 28-Jun-26 15:07:09

Scaredycat Glad youve arrived safely at your destination. No wonder you're tired - its been extra hot and you will have had all the anxiety of seeing your boys off and the journey. Relax now and enjoy the lovely coast.
Love to * EllieAnne* and Purplepixie
Hope you're both OK.

Doodle Sun 28-Jun-26 18:26:54

wyllow hope your meeting was a pleasant one with no awkwardness. I’m sure you’re right. Exercise is very good for our mental health. I have walked a lot in the past and used to go to the gym. Now I guess I’m just lazy. I’m unfit and it’s affecting my walking ability. I don’t have a balance issue as such it’s just eh pain in my feet and ankles that makes me wobble while walking. Diet first I think.
Scaredycat so leased you’re there safely, sounds lovely. Hope you get to relax and enjoy yourselves. Church was actually quite warm. I think all the heat has finally worked its way inside and got trapped. Much cooler outside now though which is good. Hope your two boys have settled in well, good they are together,
Sweetpeasue my friend has a pain in her hip when she walks and sits. It’s something like. Sciatica. She’s going to have some physio for it. All these problems are bound to bring you both down. It’s been one endless stream of things for a while now. Hoping things improve for you both.
HVDY I bet that pool is proving to be a big success as much for the adults as the children. Water pistol fights sound fun too.
So pleased it’s cooler now.

Wyllow3 Sun 28-Jun-26 22:06:27

Go for it Doodle, Think you are right. Becuase of the meds I'm on I am heavier than I have been all my life and it does make a difference and the more so as we get older. All the best!
Made me smile, the idea that church has stored the energy and heat ☺️ but oh so nice, cooler.

Yes, that specific pain in his hip does need X rays or something to ID it, Sweetpeasue. Hard to know what to do, until you know. Good luck with that. could be a good physio might be a starting point, actually.

It was hard at quakers tho a lovely chat. Only a few regulars were there, which made me paranoid some had not come out of principle.
We had a nice little chat afterwards tho, but I was left with a niggling feeling. I'll find out more soon. I went to the gym a while, but needed the sleep I had. I woke with a dream that basically told me yes I was over-fretting about Quakers, mind you.

then I found my Wongs. I knew I would fester if I stayed in. I mademyslef go out for a walk in the park and was chuffed I managed nearly an hour. then got in the car out to my favourite Curbar Gap high up as the sun dipped low in the sky. I still didn't really "feel myself", but so glad I went out instead of festering.

Yes, how are things Ellie Anne, nadateturbe, and PurplePixie. I remember you intended to contact your GP tomorrow, PP, how are things in that regard.

💚 at your beach views, Scardeycat. Need to get to see the Sea!

Wyllow3 Sun 28-Jun-26 22:06:47

sp. Scaredycat.

Wyllow3 Mon 29-Jun-26 00:10:32

Doodle
www.gransnet.com/forums/health/1359448-Osteoarthritis-of-the-knee?pg=2

??

HowVeryDareYou2 Mon 29-Jun-26 09:23:06

ScaredyCat Glad you arrived safely. Aww your boys have each other. How lovely that you're near to a beach. I hope the weather is good, although not too hot. Enjoy your time away.

SweetpeaSue I hope you'll be able to get through to a GP today about your husband's pain. Is it Osteoarthritis? I take Iuprofen every morning (just the 2), but if I forget them for a couple of days, I really notice it.

Wyllow3 What is/are Wongs?? Glad you went out. It wasn't so hot yesterday, thankfully.

Up late today - 8.30! I was up at 5.30 with Jaffa but went back to bed at 6. Housework to do later, and feeding Son2's 2 cats this afternoon and evening. Son2 and family are off to Filey for a few days. Hope ALL BDers have a decent day x

Sweetpeasue Mon 29-Jun-26 14:14:10

Doodle Thanks - DH had sciatica before when he had back problems about 20 yrs ago and dont believe its that as dpesnt go down back of leg.
Wyllow What a busy day for yesterday- gym and then long walk. Lovely end to the day in your favourite spot too. Try not to worry about not being full house for Quaker meeting- could be they were just enjoying the weather?
HVDY DH has had 2 hip replacements - 1 5yrs ago other 4yrs ago. So not arthritis . GP on tomorrow so will ring for appt then.
Oh dear - naughty Jaffa again. So you're on cat- sitter duties too.

Wyllow3 Mon 29-Jun-26 17:04:55

Erm...er...Wings, HVDY. that was a late rise for you.

I spent each childhood year in Filey, wonderful place - quiet, clean, great for kids, and the most fabulous fish and chips ever on the sea front at Cobble Landing.

I hope you get through tomorrow to the GP, Sweetpeasue, as you have ruled out 2 obvious "Baddies" there x

PurplePixie, did you decide to ring the GP?

I was very active today so thats it from now on.
After a Quaker Zoom and much latte, I was still half awake and stiff from last night's walk on Curbar Gap

But I went back at midday for just over an hours amble as I knew I would fester.

You see tomorrow is a big Quaker funeral for someone who was much loved, and the whole cast of characters you have met in the MrA saga, and those mysterious others who disapprove of me will be there: the occasion however is far to big emotionally to raise anything other than echoes of loved ones past because of what this man was like, someone who got under the skin.

Then to the retail park to collect a pair of shorts from M n S - the"two layer" sort for the gym..went to the Next to try them on in the toilets there, but they are just too short, tho comfy: the wobbly element of thigh was too much on show.

I was silly enough to walk into TK Max on the way back to M n S to return the shorts and a pretty layered choc brown skirt, the sort of easy wear for any occasion sort dropped into the bag, it wasn't pricy, but I am operating on a one in one out policy and know just which clothes items its time to call it a day on = charity bag.

My cleaner friend turned up and we spent an hour in the garden on the two women jobs

Back later to catch up.

HowVeryDareYou2 Mon 29-Jun-26 19:20:37

SweetpeaSue Oh dear, what could it be with your husband's hip pain? I hope you will be able to get through to someone tomorrow. The cats at Son2's are nice. The male is HUGE - he weighs 15lbs! (Jaffa is 10lbs, small for a male) The female can be a bit feisty, but is really pretty.

Wyllow3 I don't like getting up so late. I Googled Curbur Gap - what fantastic scenery. Beautiful. You get some nice clothes. Wise to use the one-in, one-out policy. I've got far too many clothes and need to get rid of some - I stopped using Vinted after a very unpleasant woman on there was difficult and insulting. Nice that you and your gardener lady get on so well.

As it's been so much cooler, I hoovered the bedrooms and stairs, did some washing and ironing. DH busied himself with fitting more sockets in his shed. Hope everyone has been ok x

Sweetpeasue Mon 29-Jun-26 19:48:39

Wyllow Seeing HVDY had googled your special place ,I did the same. Its gorgeous- with panoramic views, how beautiful.
Good find there with the tiered skirt. Goodness , I'd hate to see myself in shorts-' they'd have to cover my knees!
I really need to get myself sorted about my weight problem.
HVDY Aw you are so good with cats and they must know how much you love them. 15lbs of cat must be very big! Sorry you came across the unpleasant woman,its a shame as you liked Vinted.
My DHs pain seems to be top to bottom-- shoulders/neck elbows and hands aswell as hips but particularly right hip which is terrible. No idea if they're all related or all are caused by different things. Rheumatologist thinks injections in shoulders may help but so far no appts for those. Think they were meant to be given by someone in pain clinic that hes been referred to, but hip has got much worse.
Feel like I bore everyone with medical stuff but Im so sick of it all and its not fair DH should have to put up with a this. Have had to badger him to accept GP involvement.

nadateturbe Mon 29-Jun-26 20:05:43

Hello everyone, just popped on to have a quick catchup and say hello. I'm afraid I haven't the energy to read everything. I'm sorry you're husband is still suffering so much Sweetpeasue.
Doodle Wyllow3 HVDY Scaredycat Purplepixie have read some of your posts and thinking of you all.
My son and wife came for 3 days, and then my DD came for 2 nights for my birthday. Would be no point in staying longer as I could only spend a little time witth them before getting too tired. Was so lovely but sad too. I wanted to do more and see them more.
I've spent most of today on the bed. I showered, dressed, did my hair and couldnt manage anything more. Doing puzzles to relieve boredom. So fed up not seeing people. Have written long letters to GP, they see me but no real help. Referred for support to cope with severe M..E. but waiting list 10 months. M.E. is badly neglected.
It's so strange how I can manage a couple of active hours here and there and then suddenly nothing.
Sorry for long post about me. Just wanted to explain. I'm glad you're all still together, sharing and supporting each other.
Lots of love.xx

Doodle Mon 29-Jun-26 20:33:04

Wyllow thank you for the link unfortunately it doesn’t work for me but thank you for thinking of me.
Are you going to the funeral Wyllow . I hope, if you do, that it’s the occasion that is remembered and no one says anything to you about Mr A. You certainly have got the walking bug. It sounds a great place to go.
Glad you got a nice skirt even though the shorts weren’t good. Don’t M and S have a changing room ?
HVDY that was late for you. Do you feel you’re always trying to catch up with yourself if you get up late? I do.
Been much cooler today. What a relief.
Sweetpeasue so sorry your Dh is in such pain. I always thought rheumatologists gave injections. Not heard of the pain clinic doing it. Have you got an appointment for your Dh to see the GP . Perhaps he needs some stronger pain killers or something that helps muscular or nerve pain. Poor man I do feel for him and you. This has been going on so long.
You certainly don’t bore us. We’re here to listen. Just wish we could help.
Dear nadateturbe I can feel your frustration. ME is certainly not well cared for by the medical profession. Are there any groups or societies you can turn to for help or advice. How lovely you got to spend time with your family even if not as long as you would have liked.
Scaredycat have you been in the beach yet. I’d love to see the sea. Hope the weather is pleasant and comfortable and you are beginning to relax.
Had coffe with friend this morning and another tomorrow. So relieved it’s a bit cooler. Trying to get to grips with my art project but I have no sense of perspective.

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