I had an permament ileostomy back in 1990 due to Ulcerative Colitus. For some years I was on my local Ileostomy Association cttee, giving support to those with these and those people in hospital having one.
It is life changing, and in so many cases totally live saving. I put my off for nearly ten years, frightened at the idea of 'a bag'. Back then so often the subject for comedians. Afterwards I felt really angry with myself, as I virtually lost those ten years of my life as I was so unwell for so much of the time.
Back then it was a very major operation and I was cut from between breasts right downwards (one of my daughters saw the dressings being changed once when i was in hospital and called it my 'teddy bear' stitches!!!
I was in hospital nearly two months and then many months afterwards to get recovery. BUT.....it did give me a proper life back and as I experimented with different foods I could now eat and enjoy, I was able to pick up all the activities I had given up during those long illness years.
So, 36 years later having that bag on my stomach is all I can really remember. Obviously, I would prefer NOT to have this, but without it I would have been long dead and not seen my children go into adulthood and my grandchildren growing up.
I believe many of these ops these days are keyhole, so not all those very many stitches and a great reduction in recovery time.
Anybody having or due to having such operations, should contact (in advance) the National Associations, any of them have trained 'supporters' who will visit and talk of their own experiences and give welcome help and advice.
Yes, there can be problems, but for a good 95% of the time, absolutely normal life can be followed. Few of my friends and aquaintences know about my bag, I do not feel the need to talk about this anymore they feel the need to discuss their own toilet behaviors.
Good Luck