Black Dog 31

Hello Ladies, I have been reading Black Dog for quite a long time, just don’t post.

Peep That's very helpful to Elless. I hope she gets back to you. Did you want to tell us about yourself at all?

GD1 just video-called me from her holiday in Tenerife (with GD2, their mum and her bloke). She's having a lovely time but says she's missing home, especially her dad , as of course, she's been living with him for 3 years now.

Hi Peep, and a wave. It’s hard to pop into a long running thread sometimes.

I’m really glad that GD1 is having a good time. HVDY. Things haven’t been too good for her.

(Having to post in bits)

Having said that HVDY (I'm forever backtracking on things I say), if the symptoms have come suddenly with new pills, Doodle is right in suggesting about a lower dose.
I'm a great help, aren't I. 🙄.

Nadateturbe don’t put yourself down now, it’s the caring that matters. I’m glad you’ve popped in.

Lots of nice and helpful things there Doodle, I hope your today was reasonably OK too.

Been really tired today so no exercise but good needful thinking and emails … a Quaker Zoom, and I’m going up to see the family cone what may mid November even if am just a lounge lizard,

For… DGD L has her operation booked for late December at last!!! 🙂So am going up before all the lead up happens.

Thank you HVDY. Here goes, I’m 69 and had depression since I was 4 on and off but mainly on. 2 postnatal in the 1980s and a breakdown at the end of the 90s and end of the 10s. Also pretty bad last year, otherwise a functioning depressive with anxiety and autism. On Vortioxetine and trazodone.
5 grandchildren between 7 and 13.

Thanks Wyllow3. There's so much conflicting information now, though, its hard to know what to believe. I can't remember what your GD's operation is.
Hi everyone, just catching up on how everyone is.
My life is so exciting at the minute. Have missed art for two weeks but got out for a half hour chat with a friend yesterday. And a half hour wander round a couple of shops. That's a big day for me!
I have to work sometimes at not being depressed. My faith definitely helps. A big bottle of red would help too 😁, but I can't tolerate more than a small glass.

Wyllow3 GD1 seems to be happier lately. Her mum now includes her in things (last year they went on holiday with GD2 and Mum's other girl, left GD1 to cope with a cat that gave birth to 3 kittens the day they went).

nadateturbe I'm on the lowest dose of this tablet (Chlorathalidone). I'll keep an eye on it. Thanks.

Wyllow3 Glad your GD has got a date for her op. Hope it will improve things for her.

Peep You were extremely young to have depression at that tender age. You must be very experienced with mental health problems. Our grandchildren are what keep us going, aren't they? I'm 67, first took antidepressants at the age of about 30. Some kind of breakdown. Later, experienced that again and took ADs again. Been on them ever since. My GDs are 15, 12 and 3. (youngest is known here as LG, short for Little Girl) Step-grandchildren are 16 and 15.

nadateturbe Hope you have some better days soon. I can't tolerate alcohol at all (not with all these tablets I take). Cake helps, but only briefly. Back on my diet...again.

Thanks HVDY. Hope your symptoms ease, maybe just a temporary thing. Alcohol definitely wouldn't be a good idea for you, but a bit of cake is a good substitute, in my case Victoria sponge.

That’s been a pretty tough life, Peeps. Thank you for sharing it’s good to know the back story’ so I hope they can get your meds a bit better. There are a lot more around these days than back in the day. And it’s easier to speak out!
I was severely depressed as a teenager … but didn’t even know the word! I thought I had been cursed and no one else was like that and I must hide the curse from the family or it would kill or damage them! I took refuge in school and study so got to uni where we read Freud and stuff and there was help.

Anyway, L has multiple disarray age 10
Epilepsy, virtually no sight, cerebral palsy, and learning disabilities. The operation might nip the number of seizures by up to 90%, her amazing mum found out there was a trial at Great Ormond Hospital. Which will mean she isn’t tired all the time and pick up on her ability to learn and be active instead of exhaustion. She is mostly a happy soul and loves swimming. She can see vvv close up on a big tablet and sings along.
One of four kids.

May tomorrow be better than today, all, tho my today calmer.

oooooh, a horrible nightmare night. currently recovering with lattes.

Why shoud a bad night follow a good day? Beats me!

Also. A night of bad dreams Wyllow. Ds 1 and family came over last night to return dh s car. They borrowed it while there’s was in the garage but brought it back in case I need it when mine is in,
It was so nice to see them. Oldest gd 15 is struggling with the grandad situation. She does have some mental health issues but is seeing a counsellor at school.
Son was making a joke about the things his dad was saying about him but I m sure he is worried.
Yesterday I was on moonpig making cards for Dgd 16 and d in L 2 40 both in November. But when I got to the text inside I didn’t know what to put with dh being so unwell so I just saved it and will go back to it later.
Not looking forward to the visit this afternoon.

Not surprising for you at the moment, EllieAnne. I'm really glad to hear about further family contact.

Well I am so glad to hear that GD15 yrs has counselling help, it couldn't be at a better time. I guess some men cope with jokes and memories? No bad thing really? Just tough for you as you are unhappy with DH and that is something they really cant - or want - get involved in ...

The text inside - "Sending you love on your special day?"

Welcome Elless and Peep Lots of kind people here. Ive never taken the Vortioxetine but am on Citalopram . Do hope you both get the help you need.

Doodle Thankyou for your words. DH rang secretary yesterday and she hasn't received letter yet. She agreed that it seemed strange DH has separate appt for leg pain- shes noted that if consultant can deal with that as well would be better. Will call her back on Friday to see if she has letter.
EllieAnne Thinking of you.

Sorry cant write much, Im afraid, but thinking of you all. Xx

She seems to be a "goodie" person in this situation, Sweetpeasue. Good to lean on her, when you can xx

Hello everyone and thank you for the kind replies.
I was on Escitalopram when I asked to try something else but the doctor said as I had tried a lot of different ones that referring me to the crisis team would be best because they could prescribe different ones or even two together. The crisis team put me on Vortioxetine but let me down badly and caused more stress and anxiety than I could cope with so I discharged myself from them. I am a lot worse than I was before and can't go a few hours without crying. The doctor has told me to give them a few more weeks before increasing the dose (currently 10mg) but I feel so lost and literally like I'm going to 'fall off the edge'.

Wyllow3 I so hope and pray this op will help your dear granddaughter. She has so much to cope with.
And yes, good days/nights, there's no recognisable pattern to them.
Scaredycat love your photos.
Sorry can't speak to everyone. Hairdresser this afternoon, resting so I can make it.
A

How difficult for you, Elless. I’ve been in the MH system since 2002, and believe me I’ve seen the good and the bad but currently it’s good enough. But what has happened over time is that resources are so slim now and pared down that what was available all those years ago is no longer.

And harder to get what you need, which is a decent sympathetic listening as well as prescribing.
Have you had any Counselling in your journey? To understand your own responses to the world? It has given me a degree of coping I never had before, but I’ve done quite a bit?

But you will be heard and accepted here whatever.

EllieAnne I'm glad your son and his family are keeping in touch. Your GD is probably like my GD1, also 15 - very sensitive and emotional. I hope the counselling helps her. About the cards - I take it you mean you don't know whether or not to sign it from you both? Sensible to leave it until later. Please let us know what happened this afternoon.

SweetpeaSue It would surely be logical for the consultant to deal with both problems together. I hope you manage to get some answers soon. It's not right at all that you have to keep chasing things up. What a mess.

Wyllow3 Your granddaughter has so many health problems, bless her. I hope the operation will at least help with the epilepsy.

Elless If you're crying all the time like that, you need some more help. Do you ever feel you want to harm yourself? Please contact Samaritans or your GP if you do.

Went to day centre - Shepherd's pie, which I didn't eat (I don't like lamb), then cream sponge cake. I called in to the bloke I usually give a lift to - he's still sitting around all day, hasn't been doing his exercises, and hasn't been up the stairs yet. He had his partial hip replacement 6 weeks ago. My BP is a bit better - 115/58.

Hi all
Wyllow- thank you- so frustrating having to take them through the coach window.
So glad your dear GD L will be having her Operation in the not too distant future. I hope so much that it will help make her life easier and enable her to have the energy to enjoy all the things she loves . Bless her she is such a brave little girl.
It will be good to see all the family in November and come he’ll or high water you,ll be there. There,ll be some happy little faces to greet you.
Doodle- you have so much understanding of our problems. You have learnt much compassion and practical knowledge on your journey these last few years.
Hope you,ve had a good day today - it’s colder down here now isn’t it.We took my friend for a blood test today and then DH dropped us off at M &S for a coffee and a bit of shopping. So good to see her able to be out and about a bit more.
HVDY- like you I use Google as I like to know the facts about my own or anyone else’s health problems. For me knowledge helps me deal better with things than ignorance.
So glad your GDI is enjoying life more- it’s lovely how much she loves her Dad . I remember last year and the kittens - did she keep one?
Hope you made it to the Day centre - you,very had quite a quiet week for you..
Elless- I hope being here will help you - feeling as you do is frightening and wearying for you. Take care - we are always here for each other.
Peep- Hello and Welcome. You have had a hard time for so long. I think you must have a very strong character to have dealt with such stress .
Hopefully your 5 grandchildren give you some happy times too.
Nadateturbe- Good to see you. I so agree about the bottle of red wine-I so miss having a drink .
You certainly make the most of those lovely rare days when you are able to get out.
Hope you are happy with your hair and enjoyed a chat with the hairdresser too.
EllieAnne- I,m glad for you that your family are stepping up a bit. Your Son is being brave I think but inside he must be so concerned for his Dad.
Hope today’s visit wasn’t as bad as you dreaded.
SweetPeaSue- I,m so glad you appear to have someone on your side at last at your Surgery. Yes call her tomorrow and see how it’s going.
I,m so sorry how this colours every minute of your days and nights- you have tried so hard.
Take care both of you.

Love to all - hope tonight is a peaceful one for everybody

Good news about the blood pressure there, HVDY. I hope it keeps going in the right direction. Did you do anything special today at the Day Centre? its a shame you dont know in advance what's for the meal. (Don't they have a non meat version or is no one concerned?)

Well, no surprises there, hey?

You are right advising Elless as you did, Elless this thread is no stranger to "just feel I can't keep keeping on" posts - we do our best to comfort each other.

(If you feel like acting on such a mood and say so the mods will come in with advice in a benign way, its happened before and OK)

I've just had a sleep because I went to the gym after waking very very early (for me) 5.30am/nightmares and having to deal with some difficult emotions because I was at A's and just sometimes the Parkinson's makes things diffuclt.
also my "hospital/stay away bag" which I've been working on for some time (duplicates for all my leads, any cream/hair beauty products/shower stuff that sort of thing so I never need to be caught out and useful for overnight stays

Has far far too much, is not easy enough for me to carry! Mostly it means getting smaller tubes or putting stuff in smaller containers etc and better organising. Its a great long term thing but not right yet and was a right muddle.

HVDY good the new meds are working. Ooh I wish I’d gone to the day centre I love shepherds pie. Nice of you to visit that man. He won’t be doing himself any good sitting around. You’re quite right he needs to move.
I’m so pleased to hear things are a bit better for your GD1 and her mum is including her more.
Peep how kind of you to pop in with advice and support for Elless. You’ve had a hard time with depression. Hope your meds help. Do you see much of your family? (you don’t need to answer any personal questions if you’d rather not. It’s just nice of you to pop in)
Wyllow I always had a bag packed ready for DH as he often went into hospital unexpectedly. You’re right it is a lot but it is worth it. I actually bought a kind of small rucksack on wheels. Being a rucksack shape it had several zipped compartments for various things but apart from the usual shoulder straps it had wheels on the bottom and a pull up handle. I couldn’t carry heavy stuff so found it very useful.
Do hope the operation helps your DGD and family. Your DGD sounds a lovely girl. Hope this helps her.
Scaeedycat I was heavily involved in DH’s care and with him having so many health problems over the years I learnt a lot. I’m still angry with myself that I allowed him to get into the condition he was in at the last hospital. Pressure sores was the one thing I’d heard of but had no experience of, Now ive added it to the list of things I warn people about.
Yes it’s been much colder now. I was really chilly this morning.
Watercolour workshop at art today. Very good and enjoyed it.
Elless I also wonder if counselling would help. Your meds may help but perhaps you need a few more weeks before they take effect. I know whatever we say won’t help. Several of us have been in the same place. Not being able to go on. In time it will get better but for now please do as Wyllow suggested and contact your GP or Samaritans if you can’t cope.
Sweetpeasue this scenario is why I suggested you get a copy of the doctors letter so that you could refer to it or send a copy to anyone who needed it. The secretary sounds helpful. I have in the past found the secretaries to be a useful contact and a bridge between you and the consultant. There’s no reason you can’t contact your surgery and ask for a copy of the letter if you can get your Dh to agree.
Ellie Anne glad your DGD is getting counselling and your sons are around a bit. Not sure if it’s any help in your situation but I always send cards to close family from “Grandma, and Grandad always”

nadaterurbehope you managed the haircut ok. Were you pleased, take care

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202610/medium-9mac2b-img-20261022-wa0002.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202610/medium-fluc21-img-20261007-wa0001.jpg

ScaredyCat GD2 kept one of the kittens (at mum's house), plus the mother cat. The other 2 kittens went to a friend. They're a year old now. This is the one GD2 kept. Son1 and family have got a 13 week old kitten (black). We all love cats in our family. It was kind of you to take your friend for her blood test. Did you have cake with your coffee? It's been cold all day here.

Wyllow3 The usual games & quizzes today. There are 2 vegetarian ladies there so they have something else. The "cook"(I say that loosely) doesn't plan in advance. It was my fault today - I thought it was beef in shepherd's pie ( I realise now that's cottage pie). It's a good idea to take some toiletries to A's place. 5.30am is early for anyone (I know that with Jaffa!). An afternoon nap does you good.

Doodle GD's mum is being better, but there will be an underlying reason for that. There always is. You didn't allow anything that happened to your husband. You looked after him very well and did as much as you possibly could to help him. What are you painting now? My dad loved using watercolours.

It's cold but Jaffa and I are cosy and warm, with our blankets. DH is wearing a t-shirt . x