Black Dog 31

Sorry all. Been out at AGM just got in. I need food and wine. Take care all. Catch up tomorrow

I’ve been sitting here wondering what sort of hobby or new area of interest for you HVDY. I guess when you have LG less, it becomes more important (I really cannot get my head round the fact she is nearly 4.) Do you want a help people one (like volunteering with adults with learning difficulties, can be very rewarding), or venture into a do-able craft even if you don’t do a lot in that area? And would you want to do it home alone or in a copable with group?

Your GD2 sounds very caring and talented, Scaredycat. It’s good to have the fact he is getting decent care affirmed. What a lovely natter session, the lot of you 🤗. Oh, and photography - I’m glad it’s been a decent day.

It’s not surprising you feel all over the place, Sweetpeasue. A real shock with the idea of that waiting time. And I would have wanted a copy of that letter, but they cant release it to you …what a really difficult situation. Mind you, he is spot on about both of you going and about the GP attitude.

I think I might ask for a copy of the notes “because we tend to forget things when we see someone”. Or even a sound recording but I dont know how that would go down.

Yes, let’s have a getaway outing 👍

I hope the AGM was well run, Doodle. Always helps! Feet up and wine.

Today was the most bizarre day for some time. Woke up and it has NOT been a bad depressive night but rather tired. The first thing I did was to write a short outline for A about the different sorts of ways people got depressed

(ie its no use using the word “she was depressive like you” to me)

there are infinite ways as all are different not to mention varied clinical indicators. But then I said, “I ‘m not actually diagnosed as such but am …mood disorder”. Blah blah essential guide.

Then I rung R nice Q who listened and understood but basically said the ill person is so ill totally utterly beyond any sort of boundaries. Good ness knows.

It was clear that he was de facto saying that trumps my needs atm as regards going to meetings if there are problems And I cant argue with that because in a way he is right and also - I don.t actually know, now things have gone so far, how it would be going.

I got a major repayment from insurance sorted by sheer polite persistence and then a call fro another Q who is in need of support but just had better news and she also thought I had to drop any stuff atm on th issues however awful the WhatsApp’s to me were…

It’s really down to if she starts affecting the meeting as a whole so badly then they would have to act.

More essential admin…got to gym late…did a shorter session but a good one…in the changing room F rung all a muddled but called me gorgeous, puzzled husband there…another Q from the meeting there in the changing room

Agggggggggghr. It got to the point where you just think oh well..then A, who was by then there, said I could murder an Indian so we did. (The meal, before the Mods bring in the police)

Time to crash out early, it feels like a week in one day.

Thinking of absent BD’s xx

ScaredyCat How lovely that you met up with your daughter and 2 GDs. Your GD2 will know what to look for in the rehab place. I bet you all chatted a lot. Women do chat more than men, don't they? My sons will chat with me about serious stuff - politics, relationships, etc. I've been to the Cotswolds before for the day (DH & I went last year). My brother is getting on ok, thanks. The Men in Sheds thing could potentially open an extra day, if one of the men will do First Aid training (he won't, as he's unable to kneel to do CPR).

SweetpeaSue The lack of communication between different departments and doctors is so bad. I hope your husband gets through to the secretary today.

Wyllow3 LG will be 4 next June, so we'll be having her for a little while yet. I need to find something to do in the daytimes - a college course of some type, perhaps, or volunteering, but not anything in a charity shop (done that) or with people with learning difficulties (did some of that as a job). You must get tired of all the phone calls and emails back and forth with the Quaker people, etc. You need a holiday. Glad you enjoyed an Indian meal - what did you have?

Up at 5.30 today and yesterday (that furry fiend). Full day with LG yesterday - indoor play centre, which is huge, was packed (8 members of staff), so 2 hours of kids up to the age of 12 all running around, etc. Later, lunch here, painting, jigsaws and playing with water. Relaxing day today. Might have my nails done. x

Yesterday was a difficult day. I helped at the church in the morning and was persuaded by a friend to speak to our pastor. Hes the same age as my oldest son and I ve always felt he was mote interested in the younger folks so I’ve not had much to do with him. He was supportive though he did focus on the practical aspects, social work, care plans etc and I don’t want to think about that at the moment.
Then hospital. I realised that the man in there is not the same one that went in.
He was telling me s1 had been in and was f ing and blinding and shouting at Dgd. All completely untrue.
He was sitting in a chair with a hospital gown on and an adult nappy though he has a catheter in. His foot was exposed and I could see the toes were black.
I managed to see a lovely dr who said regarding his leg they are in a wait and see position but nothing will be done without consulting the family.
The whole visit was so upsetting.
No matter how I feel I would not want to see him like that.
I’m not going today. I’m sure he won’t know.
Had an other disturbed night.
Sorry to be self centred but I read all the posts and think of you all.

My dear EllieAnne you can ask for a psyche examination for your husband. Please give that a try. At the very least you can talk to them.. with the truth xxx
I’m glad you reached out to your pastor.

Yes HVDY us women mostly do chat a lot more than men. We need our womanly chats, don’t we.

Am currently staying at A’s so back later. I’ve just enabled him to WhatsApp chat to his lovely warm DiL and little 3 yr old DGD. What a pleasure he can get nice used to the technology, he has someone who comes to help.
Back later, best days you can.
Ps Indian meek was a cheese dish with peppers all done to absolute perfection and a sauce with mint fresh coriander ginger et al, and cooked just for me no onions. We’ll be back there and it’s reasonably good value.

Naught Jaffa!

I haven't posted on Black Dog before but I have suffered with depression for over 30 years.
I am really struggling at the moment and my doctor referred me to the crisis team who have changed my meds from Escitalopram to Vortioxetine. Has anyone been on Vortioxetine and if so has it helped. I've been on it for 7 weeks now and on paper it sounds like it should be perfect for me but it doesn't seem to be helping at all.

EllieAnne There are a few causes for your husband to be so confused -
Delirium, which can last for weeks (even months)
Reaction to pain relief (Morphine)
Urinary tract infection (or any other infection somewhere).

The hospital should be sorting it out. How very distressing for your husband, but for you, too, to see him like that. I hope whatever it is that's causing it, he'll be better soon. As for his toes being black, that's not looking very good. Is he Diabetic? I'm glad you spoke to someone at the church, although thinking of care plans, etc., is jumping the gun a bit. He's unlikely to be discharged from hospital for a while yet. I hope you manage to have a rest today. Look after yourself - eat, sleep and try to relax a little bit.

Wyllow3 Kind of you to help A with WhatsApp. Lovely that he can now receive photos, perhaps, of the GD. Your meal sounds interesting - paneer?

Elless Welcome. I haven't been on Vortioxetine, but if you're not feeling any better, perhaps you should get in touch with someone medical. I've had depression for more than 30 years - was on Prothieden for a year, then Citalopram for many years, now on Mirtazapine (about 8 years). You might need a different medication, or a combination of, medications.

Having a quiet day - this new diuretic is bringing my BP down... a bit too much. 105/56, then 107/64, so I'm feeling light-headed and a bit dizzy (not safe to drive today).

Hvdy he was pre diabetic ffor a few years but the high steroid over the summer have made him diabetic but the blood flow problem has been going on longer as far as I know he is not on morphine . The delirium is due to the operation but is going on longer than expected.
Having a quiet day. Went out for a few things this morning and am staying in now. I had a really bad night so will maybe have a sleep.

EllieAnne Yes, I know how Steroid tablets can make the blood sugar levels rise. I hope the delirium settles down soon (I had it when I woke up from my 2-week coma &stroke), although I didn't realise it at the time (couldn't speak, etc.). I had hallucinations for a couple of weeks. Try to have a sleep, even have a drink if it'll help.

Hi all
SweetPeaSue- frustration is fuelling your fire isn’t it- no wonder. Two sets of ears is always better as you can then confer on what was said and have no worry of missing anything.
Yes my DD is fortunate to have her 3 lovely girls-which of course means we are lucky too. I,m sure your boys would appreciate your need to share your worries about their Dad.
It will be easier when your S1 doesn’t have to travel so much .
Take care of yourselves.
Doodle- hope you had a good nights sleep after your busy day.
Wyllow- yes GD2 is lovely and her patients are lucky to have her. Her DH is a community MH nurse and they have a 9; yr old.She deals with several health issues with no complaints just laughs and love.
Maybe it’s just time for you to try and concentrate on the Q folk you love and who understand you and for the moment just drop all the stuff that distresses you.
A must be so pleased he can now see his DGS and DiL face to face. It will make a difference to his life. I love that he’s always up for doing something nice and eating too!!!
HVDY- it’s good that your boys are happy to chat about the serious stuff. It’s the intimate,silly and personal problems that women are good at - no subject off limits😀
I hope one of the men in sheds does that training - it’s so good that your DB enjoys going there.
The Cotswolds is so pretty isn’t it- bit like a living Chocolate Box lid.
Jaffa is taking his alarm clock job very seriously isn’t he😸😸
My goodness that’s low BP-you must feel a bit weird.
Elle’s- Welcome. I think maybe you should get back to your GP re that medication. If it’s not making any difference you might need longer or a different one. Better to talk it over. I was lucky Sertraline helped me after many years of anxiety and never taking an AD. Hope you get that help. We are always here to listen or chat.
EllieAnne- Oh dear your DH is in a bad way- so difficult for you as despite the lack of love you do have compassion for his situation. It does sound very serious- maybe you could try Wyllows suggestion.
Nadateturbe- how are things with you?
Love to all and wondering how some of past BDs are getting on.

Lots of expertise going on here HVDY sound like you need that easy going day, and have good ideas for EllieAnne.

Hi Ellesse welcome. I’m in the MH system but must admits that drug is new to me. But I’m very experienced in looking long series of meds up. It should be kicking in by 8 weeks maximum.
If it’s isn’t working now and it’s 7 weeks and your symptoms are really bad I think you def should contact them asap. What is possible is for them to keep this medication but add another (my situation for a period).

I’m wondering if you had adequate time for the workers to assess you, but if this new drug isn’t doing the job after 8 weeks OR if you are in crisis more reason to ask for further help as there are still meds out there. X

Elless sorry about the misspelling!

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Wyllow a couple of Scottish pics

Scaredycat those are beautifully taken. The sweeping view and the lonely wee castle. (Isn’t there an Agatha Christie set in one) . As ever a lovely post. Your GD is a treasure, as is her partner, as they knowledge of the MH side of matters helps a whole family.

The nice thing about A is that his having lived alone, he looks after all matters domestic. 👍
Quaker wise matters have moved on quite a lot.

Nothing can be done for D and she is possibly turning on her family, that bad, but still has weird things about me that’s more significant than others or at least very particular. Sooner or later something will crash.

I will probably have a Zoom asap with Safeguarding as regards my needs for meeting: let’s see what happens there, but I have with help found real compassion now I know how matters stand.

I’ll pop in later to catch up. Elless do pop in more if you like and greetings to the troubled and absent (am on my mobile as there is a blip lap top wise

Evening all.
Wyllow glad A can help with domestic matters. Of dear, D does sound in a bad way. Hope she gets the help she needs and leaves you in peace. Glad you got your replay,net that’s good news.
Scaredycat hat lovely photos. Just the sort of place I’d love to visit, you have lovely granddaughters. So nice when they are caring.
HVDY have you thought of an art class or joining U3a. They have a variety of different things on offer. Plenty of time to find something before LG starts school. I too am amazed how quickly those years have gone.

Sweetpeasue it is useful to have a copy of the referral letter so you know exactly what was said and can refer back to it. I was very fortunate with DH that he was always willing for me to go with him to appointments and to speak on his behalf to the doctors (in later years he had a hearing problem). It’s good to keep copies of letters and test results to refer back to.
It hard to keep fighting the system when nothing seems to be going your way, Hope your Dh will phone the secretary to see if an appointment can be sooner rather than later.
Being supportive can be really hard when your Dh is troubled but won’t let you help.

Ellie Anne it’s probably the meds that are getting your Dh confused and he probably won’t remember exactly what is said to him. Could you ask for a meeting with the doctor and have your sons present so they know what’s going on. You need support too,

Elless welcome. Sorry you’re been feeling so bad, Like Wyllow said these things take a while to kick in. Do you have support from anyone else. Sometimes talking things over can help. We are here to listen and help wherever we can. Wyllow is very experienced in MH matters.

HVDY ne careful with your low BP. Have you spoken to the Gp maybe taking a lower dose or on alternate days might be better if they agree.

ScaredyCat What great photos. The scenery is beautiful. It looks cold there, though.

Wyllow3 Quaker D is certainly quite unwell. I hope you've blocked her everywhere so you won't get any trouble from her.

Doodle I haven't spoken to a GP. I Google things, and hypotension becomes a problem if it drops to 190/60, so I'll monitor it. The tablet seems to be suiting me so far. I'm only on the starting dose. At the moment, it's 101/62.

Not sure whether I'll go to the day centre tomorrow. I'll see how I feel in the morning. Hope ALL BDers have a restful night x

HVDY my BP is normally that low. Cardiologist thinks its ok.

nadateturbe Thanks, that's reassuring to know. The GP had to consult with a Cardiologist before being able to prescribe it - perhaps because it can cause hypotension (I haven't got any heart problems)

Elless I’m on Vortioxetine. I have sent you a private message