Black Dog 31

That watercolour session sounds great, Doodle.

A T shirt? Heck. It's a nightie, jumper, 2 duvets, and a HWB here.

I need A System too, Doodle for it all with separate clear labelled plastic zip bags.

Wyllow3 My husband only stopped wearing shorts 2 weeks ago .

Seeing my friend later, for lunch at a garden centre.

Please excuse me for not addressing other posters problems and happenings, I need to catch up with individual stories. I have another appointment to speak to the doctor in a few weeks (🙄) the tablets might be more effective by then.

Elless Please dont worry about addressing everyone- you have enough to deal with right now. We know what its like when youre in the grip of the worst of depression- difficult to see any light at all. I hope the ADs soon kick in and you will notice a difference. You can come through this .x

Peep So kind of you to come in to help Elless. .y youve been suffering with depression most of your life. I hope you start to feel better soon and your ADs start to help.

Sorry everyone Im a bit behind with where you all are but Im getting so confused and low. Head is so full of trying to fathom out all this NHS mess.
DH called secretary today( same number ,diff secretary). She said NO letters received yet. After DH explained all she came back later and said she'd found letters from previous GP sent in September about pain in stent area and one sent by latest GP with Doppler results. Apparently when Radiologist found stent into Aorta after the chest scan checking lung nodes hed informed Respiratory Dr who informed Vascular and it had been said DH had to get in touch with Vascular Dr that did the procedure( one in York) We knew nothing about this. Secretary said shes going to speak to Vascular Consultant ( not one in York) and tell him all - that letters had been found under another 'system' ( she mentioned abbreviated system to DH ???) and she will get back to us next week to tell us whats happening.
Honestly! Its a bloody shambles.

Try and get back later but so tired.
Sister's DH has had bad health news too so Im worried and trying to answer her queries.

🙄I put 2 xx between bl and dy and its printed in full. Sorry.

HVDY that’s nice your DGd has a cat. Good for children to have pets I think. Oh the little black kitten looks sweet, I had one when I was in my teens.
Thank you for your kind words. I did do all I could for DH but still wish I’d stuck to my guns about them giving him blood thinners. Although he wouldn’t have wanted to have a stroke and that was the only thing that stopped me. I guess I just miss him so much and you tend to look at everything that happened and think “If only”

Elless please don’t worry about replying to us all. In general we’ve known each other on this group for years. Some of us have been here a long time other come and go or pop in now and then. All are welcome. We don’t expect you to be up to date with what we’re doing just write whatever you feel comfortable with.
Sweetpeasue you couldn’t make it up could you. That is why I suggested you get a copy of the GP letter. Things go missing all the time in the NHS and there’s not joined up thinking. Good thing your Dh phoned and you pressed home the point. If they haven’t got the letter from your Gp by Monday I suggest you go to the surgery and request a copy and email it to the secretary yourself, I know it’s exhausting but it’s worth it to know that you’re doing all you can. Bless you things have been so hard for you both.
Sorry about your sisters DH too. Such a lot to worry about.
Scaredycat how do your boys fare with this bad weather? Do they go out or are they house cats? Been so stormy today .
Wyllow painting session was good. I’m hopeless but I still enjoy painting. I can lose myself for a while. Hope you’ve been ok today.

Doodle HVDY is right - you did everything that was possible to help your DH and to make sure he got the appropriate help in hospital. Bed sores are not your fault at all. My DH was on blood thinners after the heart stent fir a while , now he just takes daily aspirin but theres no choice really as the risk of stroke is not one that many would take. You did everything that was possible dear Doodle.
I mightnt have been clear - the letters have finally been found - secretary found them under a different system. I dont know who is responsible - our practice should know, surely, which system is used in the local hospital for communication. Grrr.

Elless often the "regulars" as in an emotional place where all they can do is speak how it is for them, and that is fine - also, it tales time to get to know people, doesn't it"? Just keep coming in, read others even if you cant comment just now.

Remember some of us are old hands and have this or that relevant experience so can comment on this or that...and so on. I had a very bad 15 months where just coming in helped me keep going and I was not alone.

Sweetpeasue first all your own health stuff and now this Cr**. Honestly, you couldn't make it up. Good advice from Doodle

Once, I was treated so badly I took it to my MP and got a hearing. It didn't actually change one particular issue in the situation but...it did help.

I'm beginning to feel you may think of elevating it higher because the lack of joined up thinking needs to be politically as well as personally highlighted. And you are good at documenting things.

Oh, Doodle, Oh my...the "if only's".....so very understandable, so very human...but you can look at it on another way too. Just think of how you stayed by him every moment and made everything you could the best it could be 24/7. How would you feel had you not done that How extraordinary you were, how much that love carried him?
You know how I feel about art. I love people's unique markmaking 🙂.

Well I was as tired as a tired thing this morning when N my friend/cleaner came and we got talking...as well as our top caring natters I got together some precautions should there be power and water/ food cuts....all from Amazon..... a power storage pack, so I can keep mobile and similar going, and large amount of water packs from Amazon, food essential tins, on my way out, petrol...also a new landline as mine is broken.

(Ellesse - I needed cleaning help when too depressed to do anything, and by sheer coincidence she is someone with NVQ's working in homes and has seen it all so became far more than a cleaner, she was and is a carer - ..except now friends too 3 years on...I'm saying this as sometimes its better to lean on someone not your family

I was so tired but had arranged to meet my first Ex (now friend) and it was good to catch up on family etc (again, a bit of back story, my second husband was a coercive abuser as well as OTT not taking meds manic) and that was really nice.

I wanted to go to bed but one delivery had to be signed for, and rung A as prearranged

and his lovely DiL and delightful DGD aged 3 are coning up early December so must look up soft play and so on.

Meanwhile balancing trying tactfully to tell A he has to stick to regular Dopa meds or its impossible at times 🙄 but I do it by email to give him thinking space and evidence...

So still not had a decent shower due to cant be bothered now.

Elless Hope you start to feel better soon.

SweetpeaSue What a rigmarole. If it were me, I'd be swearing more than "bloody". Hope whatever your sister's husband's problem is, he will be looked after by a GP.

Doodle My GDs have always had pets - in fact, when the mother was living with one of her many different blokes, we ended up with them - 2 rabbits, 2 gerbils, and some fish, at that time. She moved house and left them all behind, along with 3 cats (we had 3 of our own at the time, so they went to the neighbours). She lost a snake and a hamster under the floorboards.

Wyllow3 What a lovely lady your cleaner friend is. It's nice that you get on so well. It never killed anyone to miss a shower .

Saw my friend - known her for about 28 years - we never stopped talking. Not done anything else much. I'm so tired, and I don't think this low BP is helping. I like the dark, cosy evenings. Hope everyone has a restful night x

Have a nice cosy evening, HVDY. Showers can wait!
That was a marathon natter.

Heck, I wouldn't fancy the snake!

Wyllow3 My friend and I have known each other all that time, but we yap for 3 hours solid when we meet up (and text every day). I don't see the point in having a snake (and think it's unnatural to have them as pets), but to GD's mother, any animal is dispensable because she's selfish, irresponsible, and a drunk.

Wyllow Def dont have energy to take it further- especially what it cost me/ and DH last time.
You were certainly blessed with your lively cleaner and friend.
You are doing well with A and understanding the Parkinsons. That must be hard to do.
HVDY Those photos of the cats were lovely.
Oh yes, afraid theres been quite a few choice words here about the whole mess up of communication between medical people. Do hope your BP figures even out a bit.

Had a phone call from a doctor at the hospital yesterday. She wanted to update me on dh s condition. She didn’t really tell me anything new but wanted to make sure I realised that this may not have a good outcome. I did know this but don’t really understand as the conditions he has , though serious, wouldn’t normally be terminal but the drs are clearly concerned.
Because I don’t show my feelings and rarely cry people think I’m cold. I’m not but i keep it inside.
When my sister died I didn’t feel much emotion but a few months later completely lost it.
I’ve told the family what she said. Dd the doctor had already come to the same conclusion.
So it’s wait and see.
I’m a bit wary about going today because of the weather forecast but I will try.

SweetpeaSue Thanks. I'm already on Ramipril (and it hasn't done anything to lower my BP), so I'm stopping it after tonight. Are you having Fluffball this weekend?

EllieAnne Things sound very serious about your husband. We don't all break down in tears at things straightaway at bad news/happenings. I didn't cry at my mum's funeral (for my dad's sake), but I often cry now, and she died in 1995. I know you get more extreme weather in Scotland, but I hope you'll be ok. In Nottingham (East Midlands), it's completely still.

EllieAnne another here who so rarely cries, only when I'm with someone and feel really really safe. I think this block is part of some sorts of depressed states (not others)

For me, it's putting on a "Crying/feeling" block as if crying would bring more pain up than one could endure.

Its not a fault you have, its the result of what made you who you are in your life - and a part of it is a husband who by the time this happened who came across as uncaring and you had to grimly survive

Koko as best you can, but please do talk to family and pastors, dont shut down altogeher if you can help it. xx

Well HVDY I couldn't do a 3 hour natter..she's clearly very special. ☺️. You're doing great with the DGC - that's your focus isnt it.

I woke exhausted and grumpy. I felt I needed to stock up yesterday but really overall with all the working through the Quaker stuff and realising I needed to intervene more than expected with A its been a demanding week so today I will seek R and R determinedly.

Oh, once I've had the long awaited shower instead of enjoying being online.....

Yes, Sweetpeasue, one runs out of rude words. 😡 💩

EllieAnne Im so sorry for all your pain right now. Just because you dont show it outwardly by crying doesnt mean you are cold and have no feelings , of course. You are concerned that others will misinterpret it and are worrying how you come across, oh I get that entirely. You have enough worries- Im sure the nurses and Drs will come across these reactions lots of times. Its so very hard for you and I do feel for you.
I hope the winds arent too bad where you are and you have a safe journey if you visit.
HVDY I suddenly realised you had a trip to Cotswolds - its not tomorrow is it?
No Fluffball this weekend. Son 2 is starting new job on Monday where he will be working locally so no long drives to Aberdeen anymore. He'll be working shifts so Ill be looking after F on Tuesday. Youve been on so many different BP meds ,you must be fed up.
Wyllow You really need that R&R today. Good time to do it with the storms arriving. We have been collecting a few things , batteries for stuff, water, and some tins and T-Rolls ( remember last panick in Covid). Haven't got a power pack yet and a bit confused- so many out there- but seen some in Amazon. Are the cheapest no worse than the dearer ones?
Haha- one really can run out of rude words!

Hope everyone is ok. DH doing a crossword at present and Ive just finished a bit of knitting. Chicken &Leek/veg casserole in slow cooker for later. Winds just picking up now but not too bad at present.
Take care everyone. Xx

SweetpeaSue The Cotwolds trip has been cancelled (the organisers rang people yesterday). The weather forecast has caused the cancellation. I'm not bothered; I wouldn't want to be traipsing about in the wind and rain anyway. The BP situation is a pain. Your slow-cooker meal is just what's needed at this time of year. Delicious.

Wyllow3 A relaxing day is called for - enjoy it.

I've hoovered, mopped, done the washing (on clothes horse now) and tidied everywhere, so it's a cosy day indoors. DH out with Son1, for a lunchtime curry, in the city centre. Hope ALL BDers are getting on ok x

Ah thank goodness for that HVDY
It really wouldnt be much fun in the rain and wind.
Some people dont like casseroles/ stews but we quite like them. Smelling lovely right now.

I’m so glad to hear your son’s news, Sweetpeasue. It will make a big difference. Well..weather wise, its not an ideal Fluffball weekend, is it -a wet Fluffball..
I bought an expensive power pack, £80. Why? It charges a substantial number of hours, it has a 3 pin plug socket where you can plug in all your devices including radio - it’s a long term investment is the way I see it.

No, I have a fine unused array of rude words, available on request.

Hey well done on the domestics, HVDY. I bet they enjoy curry. Hunker down now.

EllieAnne if you cant make it car wise please dont feel too bad, it’s really dangerous here atm.

I’ve been to the gym and just about to get into A’s house as he went supermarket shopping en route home. (Sat in porch with lap top).

Hi all
HVDY- lovely cat photos - so glad DGD got to keep one. Something for her to cuddle when life gets difficult with her Mum.
My friend and I had Pain au Raisin with our coffee- it’s a favourite. I just hope her blood results are better.
My DH is a T shirt and Shorts man too- he doesn’t seem to feel the cold.
You and your friend have had many years of friendship- lots of shared experiences and I bet you could have chatted anther 3 hours given half a chance!
You,ve done enough work today - hope,by now you,ve got your feet up with Jaffa and a cuppa.
Doodle- your experiences with DH have made you very aware of many aspects of life- we are lucky to have you here as our friend.
I,m glad you are enjoying your Art. Nobody’s Art is hopeless. We paint and draw from the heart and we all see things differently. As long as you are enjoying it that really is the main thing.
The boys are indoor cats and have never been out. Ragdolls are not really cut out for the street world. They are very friendly,trusting and don’t have much sense of danger. They wouldn’t last long in our busy village street.
Elless- just having you here with us is enough - don’t worry about answering individuals while you have so much to deal with. Years ago,when I came here it was so comforting to be with people who understood. I do,hope the ADs will start to make you feel better soon.
SweetPeaSue- it,ll be lovely to have your DS around more and not have to worry about him doing those long old drives.
Fluffball on a Tuesday- Costas had better watch out.
I cannot believe the b….s up your surgery and other people involved with your DHs problems have made.
Your head must be bursting. Sorry too you now have the worry about your BiL and your Sister. It never stops does it.
Chicken and Leek is so good especially in a M and S pie!!
As for rude words what would we do without our reppartoire of them🤬
Wyllow- bit of Blackadder there!!
You are right that sometimes family are too close or too affected by our troubles and a loved friend is a treasure indeed.
Glad you enjoyed your meet up with 1st Ex. He must be delighted too with the news of your DGD upcoming operation.
You have a nice start to December with the visit of A,s DiL and little one. They sound dear people. Good excuse for you to whizz about in a soft play place.
You seem to be embracing A,s condition in a kind practical,way. I suppose sometimes it might seem quite daunting but he sounds worth it.
Enjoy this restful day - pamper yourself a bit.
Elless- it must be so difficult for you right now. Knowing how poorly your DH is can’t be easy for you . You have compassion for him even though the love is no longer there.
Not being able to cry makes you feel awful doesn’t it. Since the Accident and then my Mums suicide I haven’t been able to cry . But we cry inside don’t we.
Take care in this stormy weather- don’t put yourself in danger.
Peep- how are you doing today.
Nadateturbe- hope you’re not getting too blown about.

Love to all

Ellie Anne your Dh does sound seriously ill. Glad you told the family as they need to be aware. Are they still visiting him.
Very hard for you. You probably don’t know what you feel at the moment. You are caring , we all know that but people show emotion in different ways.
I love pain au raisin too much prefer that to the chocolate version. Glad you had a nice time.
Wyllow glad you went to the gym. A good idea to write to A about his meds. Obviously not taking them has an impact on you so he needs to be more aware.
HVdY sorry your trip was cancelled but as you say in this weather it wouldn’t be much fun and could be dangerous.
Are you sure the snake didn’t eat the missing hamster? I don’t like snakes at all. The thought of one roaming free is scary.
Sweetpeasue good news about your son’s job. Does that mean he’ll be able to pop round to see his dad more?

Thank you all for your kind words about Dh. I am glad I was with him 24/7 for the last week or so. That I find a comfort.
I’m off out tonight and not back till late take care all