Shopaholic Husband

You could throw the computer out of the window? Spill coffee on the keyboard? Sneakily unplug the modem or whatever the thingy is called that makes it go?

He sounds as if he's bored!
Get him out and about, do what Daphne suggests re the computer - or introduce him to GN; it is addictive, won't cost him any thing (we don't defraud people ) and we need more men on here

Thanks everyone, no he isnt bored, he works a few hours most days, but of course he may be bored when he gets home, although we have a big garden, and there are lots of things to do everywhere. This obsession has become his hobby I am afraid. Good tips, maybe coffee on the keyboard, cant join GN, he cant speak English, but it was a good suggestion, thank you.Hope more suggestions keep coming.

I think that when people are very interested in motorhomes/RVs?, they are in essence trying to escape from something?

I have a friend who has a H like that -she has been battling him for years, has lofts full of China, garden full of motor home, boat, greenhouses, conservatory -neither if which has been erected.

You have some way to go to beat her I think

Maybe thats true, but I dont know what he is escaping from, maybe me?!I think we are a bit old in the tooth to be taking on new adventures, maybe he wants to do this while he can!

Nice to hear I am not alone, perhaps I shouldnt complain.

Oh I would definitely complain!!!!! He might think you agree otherwise and consider himself as having a free hand.

My friend is busy sneaking stuff to charity shops etc. Although what you do with two spare gas boilers is another issue!

The internet is very seductive when it comes to shopping. Especially if you live far from good shops, like us. My husband is similar to yours, but he does rein himself in by checking our bank balance regularly. He doesn't like to be in debt.
He bought a car a few months ago when we had some extra money for once, and fair enough, we did need one. Had to go on a long train ride to see it.
I've noticed though that he has a burst of enthusiasm about something he fancies buying, but it often cools off, if I leave him alone for a day or two.
With him I think it's boredom. He used to be very active, now, with old age creeping on he can't do so much. So maybe with your husband,*Diddy1*, one idea would be to find other activities you can do together, to take his mind off it.

Good advice, thank you, I hope he cools off, We travel a lot together, in fact we are going to the UK next week for a fortnight, maybe a cooling off period is what he needs, heres hoping.

Hr is scared. He is facing his mortality. He wants to fit lots in before he dies. I totally understand him.

Diddy could it be part of his OCD that he is fixating on this motorhome, my son who has OCD feels a compulsion to order CD`s online , he has 1000`s and doesn`t listen to many of them . Shopping can apparently give you a buzz , a burst of feel good hormones , could he be slightly depressed ?
I don`t think it is a good idea to wreck your computer also key boards are very cheap to replace so may only put him out of action for a day or two . Is your relationship strong enough for you to have a talk about why he is doing all this buying . Would he go to the GP ? Something doesn`t sound right about the fact that he would travel to Germany to look at a Motorhome which you don`t even seem to want . Have you reminded him about the last one !!

I think Annsixty is right. A friend's husband was on the computer all the time and the couriers knew the house blindfolded . I've got it a bit as I buy bulk things like toothpaste as DH does the shopping and can't find things that I feel are just so. Also amazon makes life easy for looking at things that you can't do without

This evening I just had to talk to him, before I go mad, I asked why the hurry, he said this particular Motorhome was just the right one, right price etc, I said we could pay more and just look around Sweden, but of course these Motorhomes are much cheaper in Germany as there are more of them, I asked why he needs to buy one now as Autumn is approaching, the answer, they wont get any cheaper. I have asked if he could just please not constantly talk about this, put it on hold, which I know he will for a day or two, then he will start agian,I am SO happy to be visitng the UK next week, to keep my sanity, really! Thank you for writing and giving advice, its much appreciated.

We flew from Bulgaria to Germany to look at a MH that we had seen on line. We went to Germany because they build the best MHs. We bought it not to escape but to see every country in Europe in the comfort we wanted.

Sorry, had to laugh about him facing mortality Annsixty, he is only 68 in a few months! but maybe he does want to fit in a lot in the next twenty years!

I feel that I am facing mortality daily, at 71 I do not anticipate many more years of active life. Too many of our friends have fallen by the wayside already. We are trying to cram everything into life.
This may seem morbid, but life is getting shorter by the day.

We already have 5 holidays booked for the next 12 months.

Sorry Diddy I did misjudge there. At 79 I put everyone in my shoes!! I really do want to cram every thing in and lack the chance.

Diddy1

If the SEK has become very strong against the Euro in recent months, then he may feel it's bargain on top of bargain.

But it's only a bargain if you will really use it.

e-bay is the devil, my husband buys so much ! in the last year we have built 3 yes 3 sheds for motorbikes and parts that are as rare has hens teeth ( i wasnt born yesterday) , my dining room is full of his junk as well. I have now put my foot down and given him a spending limit after finding his paypal bill was 3 figures in a few days, and he has been told NO MORE PALLETS, the poor delivery man is fed up with them.

I have total sympathy with you. My husband did something similar a few years ago & it got obsessive. He was subsequently diagnosed with bi-polar disorder but not before he had bought so much 'stuff' we had trouble getting it all in the house. I am not trying to frighten you but could he be a bit high at times & low at others? My husband was being treated for clinical depression so he had been totally mis-diagnosed ( for years!).
Or maybe it is just a bit of a life crisis.
I had to take total control over the finances before we got it under control- he still buys a lot of stuff online but it is mainly very small things like cables for computer etc & he does use them all!
I know it is not funny when you are in this position.

Shopping is addictive which combined with the excitement of receiving parcels is hard to beat.

I feel so sorry for you Didd1 do hope that gransnetters can come up with some good advice.

Am just packing an interesting parcel for my 6 year old Grandson in Australia and I know how he will run up to the mail box and dash through the front door to open it when it arrives. he will bee very excited.

I think that mail order shopping brings us back to those happy times as a child.

Shopping is so tempting. Just this week, in an unsolicited catalog through the door, I saw a coat and skirt outfit with a blouse. The model was wearing black boots. I have some. It was so tempting to start a new look for winter especially as it had a ruffled velvet scarf to go with it and even a hat!!!

Good luck.

Agree with you Annesixty ......My OH, who has several health problems (at 83) and has suffered two strokes, is hell bent on spending every penny ....pennies we don't have ! I try to restrain him by keeping the bank and credit cards ,,,fortunately he doesn't use the internet ! He has moments like this morning, where he refused to get out of the car because I said to him when he asked to go to Lidl ...yes, of course we can BUT no more purchases of electrical tools you do not need (we have a shed full !) so he then proceeded to sulk like a three year old and even the prospect of a cold beer would not entice him out ! Tell you what I did ...the cafe/restaurant/bar owner is a friend ...so I bought a beer and he took it out to the car ! He drank it ....but is still not speaking to me ....now I have made his lunch, but he has simply left it in the kitchen uneaten ...ok so the birds will profit ! I do worry all the time about him, but since he obviously does not worry about me (hence spending all the money ! ....I have, once again, used all my small private pension, as well as the state pension, to save up to pay all the taxes and bills that come in, whilst he just spends spends spends ! We have currently four lawn mowers, two power washers, a new saw bench (much too dangerous for him to use, but he ignores me ! two new extending ladders (he has been told by doctors that he must NOT climb ladders ...I have found gardeners to cut the large trees and hedge in the garden, but he refuses to allow them in, saying he will do it himself ! short of leaving him (I have NO money whatsoever, having also spent all my savings this year on a new kitchen, a new boiler and new heating for the conservatory (replaced the portable gas fire he had when he threw it through the plate glass window in temper !!) ...but even if I could afford to leave, I would feel very guilty ...don't know what the answer is, apart from moaning on here ....meanwhile, I am trying to stop him wanting to buy another new strimmer (we currently have three) as I am going to need to replace the fridge freezer any day soon !....thanks for letting me moan ! ....at least it is quiet now he is sulking and has gone to bed !.......

Diddy1 Although there are a lot of jokes about women being shopaholics, buying clothes, etc., some men do tend to spend on gadgets - often when they're not really needed. I also wondered whether your husband is unwell.

You can pay for an awful lot of holidays from the cost of a good motor home. As you have had one before, I expect he already knows that, but perhaps he needs reminding about the cost of maintaining, servicing, etc., and all the holidays you could have - in comfort - for the same price. I can see the lure of the open road is quite appealing, but, like camping, I'm sure for many people it quickly loses it appeal.

Violette This really must be a worry for you - and very wearing coping with sulking and temper tantrums. I hope there are other nicer things about him because, if not, I could quite easily see why you would sometimes wish you could leave.

I think you are doing the right thing by keeping the bank/credit cards. I wish I could offer some helpful advice.