Overstaying lodger!

Change the locks whilst she’s away!!

I agree with Gillybob.

If you have given the lady a date it is not fair to keep hinting. Maybe in a week or two you could give her a firm date eg saying family are arriving on xxx day and I want to freshen up/ change the room around before they come so can you please be out by. Xxxxday. But apart from that, don’t keep mentioning it - act on the assumption she is going. At worst she will have to move into a hotel or sleep in her car!

If it isn't mentioned then she may think you have forgotten - a gentle reminder is what is called for

Yes I would ask how her plans are moving along.
And I would ask her advice on paint colours for
your grandchildrens room

Tell how excited they are about coming to stay for Easter.

I hope you have an enjoyable time with your DH
May be a nice meal, chocolates and some wine.
gentle reminder for your
DH of life pre the lodger

Buy those plaques that have the name
of a child on them.

Screw them to outside of the bedroom door.
Or one saying "grandchild/ren's room" or similar.

Also have seen "keep out, beware of the child" on a jokey bedroom sign.

Good odea!

edit button please

Good idea!!

This "lodger" (first class sponger) is not the sort of person to take gentle hints. Quite simply she's on too good a wicket. You have had the discussion about her leaving, she has "agreed" she is going but it appears nothing has happened. Tell her very firmly that she has to be gone a week (be quite specific about the date) before you are expecting your family to stay. Give her a written notice to vacate on that date. That will give you time to clean out (and get rid of evil spirits?) the room ready for your grandchildren.
Tell her very clearly that if she is not gone by that date you will pack her belongings in garbags and leave them at the front door and the locks will be changed. Remind her that if she tries to enter your property other than to collect her belongings she will be guilty of trespass.
End of conversation! As we used to joke "no further conversation will be entered into by the management." Good luck. Stay firm and focussed. ?

I think that you cannot lose sight of the fact that your OH works with this woman so if the whole thing can be kept on a friendly level that would be better all round.
It would be quite reasonable to ask if she has seen anything likely or which area she hopes to move to etc. You have I believe given her the date of Easter to move out so if you wish your family to stay at that time you do just need to ask her if she could be gone the week before.
Good luck with the next few weeks - it may well all work out to plan and with everyone still being friends.

Hi all hope you are all well? Update on the lodger- she is still here? 4 weeks in and she has looked at 3 places. None suitable. I can’t believe it- I thought by this stage I would be well in to the reorganisation of my house, getting everything back to its rightful place and decorating. DH appears to have buried his head in the sand after such a positive reaction when I told him it was time for her to go. Over the past few weeks I have been onto him about how I can’t wait to start the big tidy up, he doesn’t say much! He has had plenty of opportunity to speak to her about moving on and hasn’t. I am getting so frustrated and it’s hard to be normal around her as I want her to go even more. I want my space back. DGD is looking forward to her very first sleep over with her other grandma. She is not sleeping on an air bed at the foot of our bed! I am waiting for the lodger to come in and am going to tell her my son is also sleeping here so she must be gone. Gggrrrrr??

Oh yes, just say whatever it takes to get her out!
You would think that she would be keen to move on, now she knows her time is coming to an end! What a cheek!

Easter Sunday is 1st April - not long to get everywhere ready before your DGD comes to stay.

Enough said! Tell her she has to go.
Even if you have to find her somewhere yourself, pack her bags and take her there.
And haul your DH's head out of the sand.

Yup. Just plain chuck her out. If it means she has to fork out for a B&B for a few weeks that might concentrate her mind on finding a long term place. Good luck.

Absolutely right Jane a B&B will suit perfectly for a quick move. Book a room for her yourself if necessary Annie

Anniechip, it is obvious that your husband is not going to do anything. Zilch, zippo, de nada. It's not only too hard but the reality is that he is quite happy with the lodger being there and therfore has absolutely no intention of taking any action regarding her leaving.

There have been 10 pages of discussion offering a wide range of options and views from Grans. After 4 weeks the dodgy lodger has "managed" to look at 3 places and none are "suitable". No surprise there! There never will be a "suitable" place because the dodgy lodger and your complicit husband don't want any change.

Whether or not they are having a sexual relationship they are certainly in a comfortable, companionate live-in "friendship" that neither wants to change. That relationship leaves you on the outside as the reluctant landlady and chief cook and bottle washer in your own home. Is this how you see your marriage? Is this how you want things to continue?

When you are in a difficult situation there are the three courses of action you can take:
Accept the situation and live with it.
Change the situation.
Leave.

Only you can make those decisions. Perhaps you could seek some advice or counselling because one of those options is really about whether you want to stay in your marriage. Good luck and take care of yourself.

I'm afraid you are going to have to take a tough stance now and tell her she has to leave (for good ) by a certain date, whether or not she has somewhere else lined up. No private landlord who serves notice would expect tenants to stay put until they have found somewhere else. It doesn't work that way. This woman has no legal rights to stay in your home, the law is on your side so you must assert yourself. If she's not gone by the day you stipulate, shift her belongings into the garage or shed the day after.

Ok so I just spoke to her and told her my son is now staying as well with our 2 DGC so she has to be out. She said Well I am looking but it’s finding the perfect place! So I said you need to be out by 31st March please. Don’t think she liked it but that’s tough. She can’t afford to be choosy, she needs to just get out into somewhere else where she can afford to take her time and find her perfect place!!

Blow finding the perfect place!! What a cheek. Stick to your guns and chuck her out. She has a choice. Sleep on the streets or fork out for for a B and B or a hotel.
Good luck. ?

but it’s finding the perfect place!
Well, I didn't know whether to or !!

Tell her that nowhere's perfect.
Your house is certainly not perfect as long as she stays in it.

You had been more than generous Anniechip.
Start decorating around her.
Remove the curtains for washing or dry cleaning.
Take lamp shades off.
Empty the wardrobe into boxes and put them the garage you don't want to get paint on her clothes.
Peel off the wallpaper.

Her perfect place maybe a Premier inn.
Clean towels , toiletries.
Bed made and room cleaned daily.
Restaurant and bar.
Not forgetting a TV to watch all the sport she wants!

Auf Wiedersehen Pet ?

Please give her a very simple written reminder that more than four weeks have passed since you asked her to move out and that the deadline is the end of March with no room for negation. Say sooner would be better. Ask her to sign that she has received a copy and keep a copy. You said in your OP that she has a wide circle of friends. Point that out. Good luck.

Sound advice feelingmyage especially bearing in mind 31 March is a Saturday , 1 April (appropriate date!) being Easter Sunday, hotels etc could be full.
Personally I would have been happier with a clear week or two, but as long as she goes.....

Definitely no sexual relationship. This I know because they are never in the house alone together, she works comes here in the evening, goes running, gym etc back here then tv, cosy chats then bed. My husband is home every evening and weekends we are in or out together. That is the one area I would trust DH implicitly. Unfortunately it seems I can’t trust him to support me on this it seems.

Well done, Anniechip. It's not pleasant for you to tell her but you did it. Don't give her an inch, you are totally in the right here.

Sadly, you husband sounds weak - and that woman knows it. She's not going to get the better of you though.