Feeling like your home isn't yours due to other relatives

There are so many reasons not to do this as other posters have detailed. I understand your husband has feelings of guilt over things that happened in the past but you are together now in the present. Any decisions should be taken jointly. You really need an honest conversation with your husband Zorro it seems like your feelings are not considered.

It’s quite simple. It would be illegal to run a yoga class from domestic premises. It costs £15 an hour to hire a room at the Community Centre here and there is plenty of parking. Why would he allow an illegal activity which would upset the neighbours?

If she's going to charge for the lessons it changes the status of your house in that it could be liable for charges as a business. Ask had to research that! It might put her off.

Just to add, notice many others have already pointed this out! Teach me to read the thread!

How lovely that they have a grandad they are confident about asking to help them.

Your neighbours sound a miserable bunch, I wonder if your husband enjued having the camping kids there?

I don't think you can help with the room without insurance and council tax complications, but to still be considered as approachable and helpful is lovely.

I am pleased when my family ask me for help, sometimes the answer is no but then often I can go along and give advice or support.

I would never stop having kid's parties or a sleepover in my garden, that is the path to lonelines.

Cheeky mare, she doesn't want people tramping around her house and using the facilities but it is fine to inflict it on GPs. When hell freezes over would be my answer.

I was a little concerned to hear the GDS say ask GRANDAD for a room in HIS house. It's Grandma's house, too and they should respect that.

Your husband is the problem, NOT his family.

He needs to get a grip and stop with all this inability to say no "due to guilt over past divorce". His children are adults and he is doing them no favours, training them to be exploitative of others.

It's good that "he was not pleased when I told him what went on" - but what is he going to do with his displeasure? Voice it to his family, or suck it up and ask you to suck it up too?

Tell her no or quote a large fee for use of the room and facilities (won't people need to change, use the loo?), a check on your step daughter's clients. After all these people will be able to go into your home and who knows what they could do . Just because they are taking a yoga class it doesn't mean they aren't light fingered. She's obviously found out that renting space for her classes is going cost her. You aren't a charity after all and if you must have total strangers in your home you should at least have some say and earn some cash whilst you're at it.

It's got to be No.

NO is a complete sentence!

radicalnan your approach is all motherhood and apple pie and doesn't even consider the effect any of this man's actions have on those around him. The OP has made it clear the sleepover was so big it caused annoyance to the neighbours and was hard to control. That sort of event ends up with accidents and health and safety issues.

Using this home for running a business is fraught with difficulties. Have you not read any of the posts pointing out that household insurance could be invalidated, whether any claim was the result of the business or not. There could be HSE implications, part of the house could be liable to business tax.

Of course most of us are willing and able to help family members where we can, but there are limits and I, for one would not want to host anything that invalidated my insurance or had potential HSE problems, or would cause problems for my neighbours.

As for saying if the neighbours complain they are a miserable bunch. Have you experienced neighbours having a noisy party without warning the night before you have a difficult and important exam? Or neighbour's visitors blocking your drive when you have a sick person in the house who may need to be taken to hospital at short notice. Or a charity event at a neighbours house where the parking is so bad, six people have to move their cars to allow me to get to an urgent medical appointment.

You must live a charmed life.

Left a sentence out 'You bet we complained, on every occasion'

harrigran

If she has her own large house why does she need to use yours? I think she's got a nerve. Ask if you can use a room at her house and see what her reaction is. What a cheek!

If someone asks you for something you can naturally say No with out giving a reason or justifying your No. If you say No I don't think that would work, you then give them the chance to try to persuade you it would work so don't give them that chance.

If people ask they should expect No as much as yes and we should all remember that when asking favours.

You will need insurance, change of use to a businesss premise which will effect council charges and your waste collection. Just be firm and say no, if your husband over rules you and says it is ok, just be firm and say it is not happening. Turn away anybody who turns up for lessons as well.

Just say no, I understand but they must make it on their own. Live your life and enjoy your time together.

I totally agree with MOnica and harrigan. This sounds like a total recipe for disaster. Let them use their own property for their business activities and sort out the insurance and deal with the inevitable parking and neighbour issues. Right thinking people do not inflict this sort of imposition on elderly family members who have the right to a stress-free retirement.

No, certainly not. They are taking advantage. Tell them NO

Jinty44 is right. You need to have a talk with your husband about him being a walkover for his family, and how you feel about being disregarded.

Let's hope being "not best pleased" is the start of him realising he's being taken for a mug.
Best of luck, Zorro.

You say DH wasn't pleased when you mentioned the yoga idea. I would keep working with that. Remind him of all the negatives- house insurance, possible problems with the council, parking, people wandering about the house to use the loo and yoga needs a lovely warm room (just imagine the heating bill). Good luck.

NO -the cheek

Rent coming in (even though they may want it rent free) and tax implications.
Health & Safety
Toilet facilities
House and contents insurance
Privacy issues
Security issues
Noise
Parking

"Grandad and I don't want to be dealing with matters like this at our age" and no.... don't accept that they would deal with all such matters.

There are some REALLY helpful comments here.
I have had a chat with my husband because of the awful time I had. No-one said "Hello" even !

I just think that that in itself is so rude. But they didn't say "Hello" to anyone, so I suppose I shouldn't take it personally.

My husband expects me to deal with this and say nothing, but I can't - not the comment about using our home for Yoga anyway. The five year old grandaughter was great because she just said "Where's Grandad?" so I could say I wanted him to come but he was watching Snooker on television.