Feeling like your home isn't yours due to other relatives

Zorro There is an unasked question in this thread that may shed more kight on your problem. You say DH is uncomfortable about his divorce. Were you the cause of this divorce. If not how long have you been married and how did your DH's children feel about you marrying him?

I have a feeling there are more complicated family politics behind this suggestion than your husband feeling guilty about his divorce.

His divorce was certainly nothing to do with me !!!!!!!! You are right about hidden family politics though - certainly hidden from me ! It is also something he will not readily discuss, other than to moan that his wife took all his money in the divorce, which is true, also depriving his children of what should have been theirs.

I am merely guessing that he feels guilty about his divorce due to the fact that he has told me he will never say anything to criticise his children or his ex wife in their company.

It's your home therefore it's the one place in the world that you should be able to demand privacy.

Quite apart from which she'll be using it as a business premises which could generate all manner of complications with insurance if one of her clients has an accident.

We live in a litigating world after all......

Apart from the valid reasons already given by other members, a class held in your home smacks of being done on the cheap and unprofessional. I wouldn’t want to attend classes in someone’s home.

It's possible that there's no real intention to have classes in your home.

What would annoy me, and may be what is annoying your DH, is that the remarks sound disrespectful and grabby, even if meant flippantly.

Not saying anything to criticise the ex-wife or the children, in their company, may be just peacekeeping rather than guilt.

You asked for advice - I think you need to explain to your DH how you feel about his family's attitude and, especially, about him allowing them to make use of your joint home, and ask him not to agree to things like that without checking with you first.

I find "no that doesn't work for me" is effective. At all costs avoid giving any reason if they ask why not (which cheeky bu**ers often do), as then they will try to persuade you otherwise, just repeat the same sentence again. If they still persist in asking just say my answer has not/will not change.

Make sure that the word "NO" is the first word that you say, when people make unreasonable requests. Don't start with explanations about why it isn't reasonable, just say "no, that isn't something that we could do" or whatever suits you, but make sure that the word "no" is that the beginning of every sentence. That way they don't have the chance to get the wrong idea.