Help, calm me. House buying and selling stress

mosaicwarts, yes birthdays are the worse times, no-one to bring that cup of tea in bed, to make a fuss of you. I think our own birthday is the worse time in the year. I try to go out, get a meal somewhere maybe go on a steam train and am always glad when it is over

I would say that mosaicwarts, you may be in for a barrage of questions, anything you have had done since you have lived there. My advice is to be selectively forgetful, seriously, no-one would have known about the small improvements if I had not opened my big mouth on the frightening formal forms. Then come the questions, wanting all the documents and if you haven`t got them, they insist on expensive indemnity insurances. Ignorance can be bliss

All I can say is that my hubby and I sympathise. We decided to move instead of doing work planned here. We found somewhere went on the market Oct 18. The sellers didn’t want to move until after Christmas offered to take it off the market & allow us until after Christmas to sell. They invited us for coffee several times and we liked theyway they talked. “My word is my bond, I hate you can’t trust people anymore”. Turned out you couldn’t trust them.
They had the agent call us, no personal touch anymore, to say a previous viewer had sold called in on the weekend and they had taken cash offer. We showed our place two days later and accepted asking price. We didn’t know what to do told the prospective buyer we were in quandary were moving to perfect no work & we might not find that again they begged we acquiesced. Amazingly we found somewhere two days later completely not what we were after but idyllic incredible expensive but hey it’s the Last house this time! Our offer accepted our buyer thrilled and two days later our buyer pulls out due to stress of move. Argh! Agent says bear with us total of over 25 viewings since Oct 18 (now april19) and two further offers accepted and fallen through. Neither got as far as survey, one had down right lied “ my house sold my mother who is coming is due to close”. Turned out neither was right and they are still trying to sell via an “investment site” in other words not on any internet sites to be discovered. So accepted another offer after weeks in March. Great answered all her questions visited twice for hours. Three days after the written offer the agent can’t get hold of her they tried for over a week, texts, mobile messages, email no reply she just disappeared.

We have told the agent we are off the market and the builders have been called.

We don’t feel we can trust anyone anymore. Hopefully a local builder who we spoke to just before we decided to go the moving route, says he can fit us in later this year. We have seen his work in the village and he has good local references. Let’s hope we can trust him.

I wish you all the luck in the world and whatever happens it will be for the best.

countrylife, I am so sorry that you have had all that trouble. Stay in touch, let us know how you get on

I cannot sit and twiddle my thumbs so have taken the headboards off, packed 2 and ordered more of the super strong bags from amazon for the other 2. I also realised that having hypnos divan bases with fitted valances makes it difficult for the movers. The valance swould flop down. oh well, I have ordered very long ratchet straps and am hoping that they will help keep the valances in place, folded up. I am going to have to pad the buckles because no doubt if I don`t then some fabric or other would tear.

I did my wardrobe yesterday, ikea trunk bags, they are perfect.Big enough and with a zip. Only left some basics and they are mainly sweat shirts and working trousers, with one good set out for the bank

No stress right now, stress headache yesterday for a while. The phone went 3 times and I jumped 3 times but no exchange yet

and another week bites the dust. 34 weeks since I reserved my house. I think it will all settle into place next week, just have to get through yet another weekend and I say thank goodness for allotment work. My solicitor is on holiday. I should have realised that her assistant would not do the all important exchange, To get through the weekend I need to plan something for both days, not travel far by car because I am carrying half a load, not sitting screen watching and no need to sit by the phone just in case

At least I am the head of my short chain and will let no-one down. I do think I will be able to pass my own house over in just 12 weeks from start to finish. I have alerted the movers, they are on standby with no set dates. Truly nothing else I can do but wait

I feel your pain ,only a couple of months in for us but it gets more complicated by the day .A family who were interested and prepared to go to a closing date just pulled out they decided our garden wasn't big enough for their toddlers toys!! Apparently he has a bouncy castle and a climbing frame and swings and a large electric car and the two parks within walking distance aren't good enough to keep him amused ...he's 3 !!I've brought up my own 2 here and all 4 of my GC without any bouncy castles etc and the parks were just fine for them .I have no idea what to expect next .

oh paddyann I am sorry that they pulled out. Your stress levels must be skyward too

so another week starts in a couple of hours. I am going to be like a prowling unsettled cat, I know I am.

Good luck this week. Have enjoyed your selling blog. Dying to read that you’re in and have spent the first night in your new home. Sending you best wishes.

I am in the absolute final stage of purchase but still another bit of paper, an OS2 doc from the land reg and the bill. Bank holidays friday and monday so my dream of exchange and completion will not, I think, take place this week. It is still stressful but now a different stress, trying to co-ordinate removers to a wished for date that is not yet existing. A maybe date, for which I have paid a deposit

Just dropping in to see how you are craftyone - glad you have reserved your moving people at least, even if the date is speculative.

Keep on keeping on!

Can i join you ladies, think I'm going to need you all.We had an offer last week on our house, accepted, and found our dream downsize almost immediately, after looking for over a year.Anyway had a call from our buyer today, to say they had the surveyors report back and our house has been seriously undervalued, they have a 5o% deposit anyway, so can still give us our asking price, which we have already reduced for them. But we've never seen the surveyor, he's done what seems to be called a drive by! We can't reduce the price any more, and they don't want to pay the price agreed now either. Going to be an unsettled night

oh katyj, so your stress is just about to begin. If it is any consolation, house prices are rising again and buyers are coming to the market. Your buyers will have seen that on the news too. They are playing you and I hope are contacting via your estate agent. I have not met my buyer and have the EA in between us, she is the buffer

A drive by survey is just a valuation survey as you say and a house is worth what a buyer will pay. If they love it then they will pay

Ahhh, more stress. I just heard from my solicitor that my buyer has not yet received a mortgage offer. I think that she has well and truly pulled the wool over the EA who made me think that all was in place, the reason for me me accepting her lower offer in the first place.

Calm music and chamomile today

A 'drive by' is a very basic valuation on behalf of the lenders - all they need to know is that the building is worth what they are lending (not the full value of the house) its very much worse case scenario to ensure the lender is not out of pocket. The actual sale value of the house can be a fair bit higher. (DH was a chartered surveyor)

I have been too stressed to come in on this thread....have been going through all of the above. But we exchanged yesterday!!!! I promise you I am not feeling in any way that relieved, the stress is still up there but in theory the worse is over. The funny thing with stress and anxiety is that even when the deed is done ones imagination still manages to create dire scenarios that just might happen. The wine and biscuit intake over the last few months has been very bad.....I promise not to buy anymore....although I must get some replacement Easter Chocolate that sort of got eaten (twice). All good fortune to those in this dreadful predicament its so horrible being tossed about by other peoples' fibs and bad manners.

That is good to know HildaW and also reassuring, I had no idea that my buyer was awaiting a mortgage offer, last I heard was that she was getting insurance sorted for exchange. I do know that I have answered 40+ enquiries and that this house was very well maintained, my dh was a structural engineer. She has a fair bit of cash because of marital circumstances so maybe just needs a small mortgage hence perhaps a drive by is what has happened here too and hopefully won`t be too long. I read it can take between 18 and 40 days to get the offer

Oh well, back into planning for my purchase, it is very boring, this waiting by the phone

Oh HildaW I cross posted and I almost wrote that I am trying not to break into yet another pack of biscuits. I completely understand how you are feeling but congratulations on exchanging and I hope everything flows smoothly now

As a mortgage is still one of the cheapest forms of money its often seen by some as a good way of raising a bit extra and sometimes investments are too well tied up and its easier to get a small mortgage.....its funny how people's tunes change once things get moving! Our buyer went from showing he had all the funds available then and there to taking up a small mortgage and needing to sell another property, thankfully it was fairly early on but it never helps when people change their story. P.S. I had to change our phone ringtone the last time we moved as it had made me so jumpy! This time around we have already moved into the new house and have had to rely on e-mails on a desk top computer which do not announce themselves quite so alarmingly.

all this stress can make us ill. I know I have sat and sat, just so I can hear the phone. While I sat, I have nibbled. Really I wanted to be out on my bike but dare not. So now my sleep is not good either. I understand about getting the mortgage as an additional sum of money but doesn`t take the nasty taste of fibs away

Does everybody fib/lie?

I’m sitting here with the money in the bank, ready to buy and since October three houses have fallen through (three surveyors and solicitors costs) because the vendors have lied about their property or their position in selling.

I’m now awaiting something to go wrong on Number Four.........

House buying does seem to make people devious - whether its just the fact you are meeting people you would not normally meet or it just brings out the worst in some. Several of our viewers seemed to be 'economical' with the truth....one even asking if we were up for a private deal...ie. going behind the EA's backs....which nowadays is not only immoral but would definitely lead you open to some very expensive consequences.
Then there were the annoying viewers who came back with daft reason's for not wanting to go further...everything from the house being in the wrong place i.e. 10 miles too far from a particular town to wanting to build an extension....what part of listed grade 2 did they not understand?
As to sellers fibbing as in your case Eglantine21 - that's just bizarre....its a buyers market FGS! We went for a new build by a small local firm which took the buying into fairly safe territory for us and thankfully their site manager and after sales service have been excellent.

Yup, one couple said they were retiring and moving abroad to where their daughter was. 6 weeks down the line after the survey they admitted they were just “testing the market” and seeing what the survey threw up so they knew what needed doing.

A lovely, 1 year old retirement flat. Why sell after one year? The owner had become very ill and needed to be in a care home. Turned out there were problems with the construction that were in the hands of insurers and a dispute with the builders. Good thing the surveyor was local and knew about it. He played golf at the same club as the very ill owner.

Number three was marketed as traditional brick build with Zürich Certificates. Turned out it was timber frame having been erected from a kit by the owner at the back of his garden. No certificates of any kind, not even gas safety. It wasn’t even connected to the main drains, in the middle of a town.

Oh lor! Yes a well established and reputable local Surveyor and Solicitor is just as important as the choice of EA. Mind you there are so many complications by people with some weird motives. After a few years of living in our previous house we met someone who had wanted to buy it but had been unofficially warned off by their solicitor ( a so called friend) he alluded to potential planning issues that were utter nonsense thus putting them off. Every time I saw this lady she would go all misty eyed and say things like...'I really think it would have suited us better'. Bizarre!

yay, I have exchanged on my purchase and will complete next week. I told my EA about my buyers morgage shenanigans and she will be on the case tomorrow, the reason that I reduced my price is no longer there and buyer has moved the goalposts. However I think it will still go forward and hopefully feel guilty after pressurising the EA to pressure me

I have a full clear week in which I can move many many things from here, all the fragile stuff, personal stuff and just awkward stuff like lamps. So different tack this afternoon and I have started to change my e mail. My e mail is linked to a generic bb provider and I want to be free to choose so have gone over to gmail

I need to learn mobile phone use from scratch, no signal here. Vod gives the best coverage in new area, son says I can tether my laptop to wireless 4g via my new mobile, so that will enable me to access banks. I am dithering about getting vod, just need to decide how many GB to tie myself to over 12 months. No landline there yet and no internet and maybe I can do without a landline like son and like my sister in aus

Royal mail re-direction is done. I need to get a mobile number to inform everyone next week and like HildaW, I am still stressed and ate too many biscuits, again

craftyone....yay something to tick off the list! When we moved here there were problems getting the phone line and broadband in so we bought a dongle for a few pounds for the computer which worked very well. E mails on the computer are somehow more polite, you sit down and open them .....a bit like getting a letter......but when its urgent you can respond very quickly if there is a problem. I found them less stressful than phone calls on a landline and coming from a very rural area where mobile coverage was poor, OH and I only have simple 'dumb' phones that only family have numbers for.