after the stress

What a lot of horrible things you have had to face in the last five years. I am glad that you are now on the home stretch, with all the stress of downsizing and house moving behind you. You sound like a positive, strong person, and your post highlights the good things that you have discovered in your new life.
I don’t have an iota of that, but I do find days when I feel exhausted. I have found that just listening to my body helps: I go for a short, gentle walk, eat nice food, read, listen to music. Sometimes I just have a “pyjama day,” when I don’t go out (except on to my balcony) but I try to tackle some small task, like tidying out a drawer. I remember on “Men Behaving Badly” the single lady we were all supposed to consider a “sad spinster” said something like “ I sometimes have bad days, but then I tidy my tea towel drawer, and I feel better.” It’s actually not a bad mantra! So, plant some flowers, eat a chocolate cake, and, yes, tidy your tea towel drawer!

Good morning

Craftyone, I think you have managed your stressful move, extremely well.
I have read your posts, but not commented (I don’t think!) and by the way you have written, I believe that you you have found your own way through; it being almost a blog.
Lots of GN’s have replied, with their own struggles, or just very helpful hints and tips.
So, listen to your body, if it’s telling you to rest, do so. If it’s telling you that you need to sort something out, do it.
You will be fine, well done, and be happy in your new home.

I too read many of your posts craftyone where you had done extensive homework regarding your downsize. I can gather you are very much a lady who likes to be in control and maybe you are just in a state of flux - everything ‘new’ and some things (and people) not in a place yet.

I’m sure as you get on top of things you’ll feel better. You seem a person who is happiest being busy. Perhaps you are just tired now and a few restful days will recharge your batteries!

Good luck going forward. x

yes I am always happiest being busy, always have been and I think I just exhaust myself and need to re-charge, so I do. 2015 when I lost my husband, I started being busy the very next day, left all the cooking to my one pot method in my rice cooker, realising that food is fuel and medicine. Exactly one year to the day, I lost my dear sister in law and 7 months after that my darling sister, the one who cared for everyone and was sweet and lovely and kind to the moment she died

Traumatic time, seeing it in print but I am on the upward path and I cope. Decent sleep last night and a slower day, thanks to the rain as it is too claggy for digging. Ex neighbours are visiting today and more tomorrow so a tranquil couple of days ahead

Dora, I did just one kitchen shelf the other day and had the exact same positive feeling as you. All about baby steps I suppose and being body-aware

You've done amazingly to get thus far. I know the feeling you refer to and it is horrible. Recently a friend recommended Kalms Daily to me; you can buy them over the counter. I took them for a couple of weeks and it really helped. I don't know where all those stressful feelings went to but I was just glad to see the back of them. Worth a try?

Good luck in your new home. Sending you a virtual hug.

I wonder, if those of you who post, about your bad times, and how you cope, have coped, and continue to cope,

I wonder if you realise how encouraging and supportive you are of those, not unlike me, who find it difficult , if not impossible to share..

sounds a bit selfish, but I mean it as a HUGE compliment.

thankyou. and pray for us all

life is hard - I have just arranged to meet up with a friend who I last saw in February - in that time we unexpectedly had to leave our rented home which we loved for 12 years, as the owner had died and the family wanted to sell. We found a bungalow, a lot smaller and had to get rid of car loads of stuff. 8 years ago my 27 year old daughter died of cancer, plus other stuff. But now, I am enjoying the peaceful interlude between disasters, making food from scratch, painting, knitting and not watching much TV, going for walks, and pottering. I am content. I like to keep things simple, not expect too much of myself and be gently busy. Agree that Kalms are very good!

I visited a herbalist and got herbal medicine which worked after about 2 months. Stress finally gone. You have done so well with all your upheaval that it's now time to find time for yourself. Definitely gardening or outdoor activities are the way to go. If you haven't got one, I'd seriously suggest getting a greenhouse. Then you can be outside all year. My last one was slightly heated and I'd potter about in it on a winter's day quite happily. In the winter in particular in this country we need to get as much light as we can. Good luck with everything. Sounds as if you have done amazingly well. Know what you mean about loads of energy and then tired the next. I think that is normal.

No rush to get everything done - you have been speeding along at such a pace, that it's time just to stop and draw breath ! Garden is going nowhere and anyway, if your forecast is like mine, it'll rain today and tomorrow better for digging as the ground will be easier!
The kitchen can also wait - just take today (or even a couple of days) just to chill out - read a book, go and have a wander round the shops and buy just what you fancy for dinner!
Oh, I'd recommend Kalms too - they have certainly helped me when I needed something !

Craftyone I send you hugs and ?. You have had an awful lot of stress in the last 5 years (I can relate to that, some issues similar, some different). I think you are wise to listen to your body, and rest as it demands. In time, you will, I'm sure, come to love your new home and will make new friends. Also, as you say, some of your old friends are visiting, which is lovely, and I think it will be one visit of many, with you probably going to visit them, too.
Pottering about, doing jobs as and when, are the best thing to be doing for now, but over this next few days, enjoy your time with your friends.
I agree with you in that it sounds as if you are on the upward path, which is fantastic.
Take care.

Find all your posts really supportive. About to hit chaos myself; one Daughter has moved away and one Daughter will be living here and starting Uni. Due to complications I am unable to work( brain wants to but body won’t follow) not well enough to do anything voluntary so really fed up. About to end up on the UC heap as we need to notify them of changes. No savings , no support really and don’t know how we will cope with the 5/6 week wait. Sorry to rant x

Just take one small step at a time and spend the rest of the day just chilling out, reading a book, going on a visit etc. Somedays you will find you can do a great more which is great. Good luck I am sure you will get through this.

I salute you for coping so well with everything you've had to deal with ?.
I find when I'm stressed and struggling I either sleep, like yesterday (I can sleep all day and not eat) or I clean like mad, like today. I haven't found any other way so far.
Whatever works for you, listen to your body.

Craftyone
Take things one day at a time. You sound as if you are coping wonderfully after all you have been through. The main thing now is to not tackle too many jobs at once. It will be good to see your ex neighbours but hopefully you will soon get to know your new neighbours too. Any chance of a bit of a holiday after all the stress?

Craftone, you are so right huge bouts of stress are exhausting - and the dips in energy come when you least expect them....and in my case the migraines! Its as if they wait till I am almost back to normal then .....wham!
Hey ho hopefully the body chemistry will settle down. I've certainly got a bit more energy and am now doing more of my share of dog walks...which I know are good for me but in the past I had a huge wave of 'could not be arsed' and would just curl up on the sofa. I know its a vicious circle...the less you do, the less you want to do but that the way stress gets me. I sort of shut down. But onwards and upwards now!

Oh my goodness it was like reading my story. Lost my hubby of 53yrs marriage in 2017 all I did was eat everything bad for you chocolate etc put on weight ( I wonder why) now in process of moving house it's all so stressful. So my heart goes out to you all going or been through the same.

My heart goes out to you take your time do what you want when you want ,look after yourself

@DS64till
www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/universal-credit/claiming/get-advance-payment/

You all give me hope for a stressful time I'm going through at the moment.yes and kalms help!

We are in exactly the same position [although both of us are alive thank heavens]. Busy complying with all kinds of "necessary" certification [sewerage, diagnostics etc. etc.] and bank regulations here in France, as well as those in UK "Can you please provide proof you are not money laundering". Solicitors tell us that caveat emptor is alive and well in the UK. Just hope we are not mid-channel and the vendors change their minds.........
Then sorting out years of accumulated rubbish, or as my DH calls it "priceless collections of railwayana"!!!!!
Trying to co-ordinate international removers with signing the final Acte de Vente. Trying to sell our LHD car and buy a RHD car. And, and, and. We said to ourselves yesterday, thank goodness we are attempting this in our mid 70s and no later. Our sympathies therefore to the OP.

You have had to deal with the two most stressful things in life- bereavement and moving home. Not only that but downsizing too. Of course you have good and bad days who wouldn't. You do though need to give yourself a big pat on the back acknowledging what you have accomplished. Make sure you aren't deficient in vitamins eg D and that you don't let the feeling of being 'down' go on for too long before seeking professional help. Big Hug.

I can understand exactly how you are feeling. My story is almost identical to yours. Three years ago my husband collapsed and died suddenly round the corner from our house, yes there was an air ambulance too. I am moving in two weeks time to a very small retirement flat and had to find a home for most of my possessions and my husbands model railway and model planes. I am moving to be nearer family and better access to public transport and other facilities. The only difference is we’d only moved here six years ago so I don’t have the same attachment to the house or the area. I wish you all the best in your new life.

Last week we accepted an off and had one accepted, so we are all set to go ...
Just spoken to our estate agent who is very worried about our buyer who is already talking the price down, hasn’t engaged a solicitor etc etc.
I thought it was going easily!